Thatkidsam.muffin/time travel

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #27

Thatkidsam completely screws up all of time. We finally get to see some more guys!

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Cherry Greg (voice), Brent, Yeoldesam, Lawrenceth, Brent the Short-Panted, Uggacreature, Thatladsamuel, Spiris -5900, Lawson I, ThatkidSamus, Queen Spiris, The Leet², Disco Sam, Icreature

Places: Masdiktaht Jet, Peasantry, Atlanta, Georgia, NOOB-1337, Club Discochocolate

Computer: Sega Dreamcast

Date: April 4th, 2005

Lines: 107

Transcript

Warning: Easter egg contains spoilers to Chrono Trigger.

THATKIDSAM: Check the email now, check it right to the back! Gotta go through my inbox and check every unchecked! Now, let's get to checkin'!

Dear tatkidsam
Do you have timetravel.exe?
If so, time travel now

-Mitchell, Australia

attatchment

THATKIDSAM: {Reads "tatkidsam" as written} Um... No, I don't have timetravel.exe. You'll have to send it to me sometime. Well, I've gotta go! {Gets up}

CHERRY GREG: {Offscreen} Cut!

{The screen zooms out to show that Thatkidsam is on a set. A figure (Maybe Cherry Greg) walks into the set, but is very pixellated.}

CHERRY GREG: Mas D. Taht, you're supposed to look at the email more thoroughly next time! Notice the "attatchment"? You're supposed to click on that and it will download Time Travel to your computer, okay? I knew we shouldn't have let you do the script for this one...

THATKIDSAM: Aww, I guess I'm not cut out to be a director.

CHERRY GREG: Here's the new script. {A non-pixellated 3-D human arm reaches out of the pixellated mess and hands over a packet labeled "The Script".}

{The message "A lot of painful hours of memorizing a piece of paper later..." appears.}

THATKIDSAM: Check the email now, check it right to the back! Gotta go through my inbox and check every unchecked! Now, let's get to checkin'!

Dear tatkidsam
Do you have timetravel.exe?
If so, time travel now

-Mitchell, Australia

attatchment

THATKIDSAM: {Reads "tatkidsam" as written} Hm... An attatchment, eh? I'd better scan it with my newest program, Mrs. Edgarette! {Grabs another Dreamcast and hooks it up to his current one, and inserts a "Mrs. Edgarette" disc into the new one, and turns it one} Okay, show us what you can do, Edgarette! {The screen splits and shows the Mrs. Edgarette title screen on the right side}

Mrs. Edgarette 2007
The coolest scanner EVER!!!!!!!!1shift-one

Programmed entirely in Grandma's attic

{The screen says "Scanning file..." And after three seconds, it switches to "60 Viruses Found!!! Currently downloading file." A disc pops out of the TV.}

THATKIDSAM: Man, this'll be great! {Takes the extra Dreamcast out and puts in the downloaded disc. The screen is blurred, and a vortex tunnel appears. Thatkidsam types the number "2005" and jumps through the TV.} Woah, this works!

{Thatkidsam is going through the vortex tunnel and lands in the same room, where Cherry Greg is yelling at Mas D. Taht. He quietly grabs the confused Mas and chucks him into the vortex. He jumps through, too. The scene is repeated, but Thatkidsam types in different years before chucking Mas in, including 1326, 1938, 1976, and 7838. Cut to the one that landed in 1326, in Peasantry.}

THATKIDSAM: Um... Where am I?

{A very ugly and unshaven Thatkidsam walks up, holding a rusty sword.}

YEOLDESAM: Who is ye? {Raises sword}

THATKIDSAM: Um, what year is it?

YEOLDESAM: Thy bad grammar comfuses Yeoldesam! {Pokes Thatkidsam with sword}

THATKIDSAM: Ow! Well, it can't get any worse than this...

{Lawrenceth, Brent the Short-Panted, and Uggacreature jump out from bushes.}

LAWRENCETH: Hands up! {Holds out a primitive-looking spear}

BRENT THE SHORT-PANTED: Yeah! {Pulls out a bow and holds the string, stretching it with his feet, lying down}

UGGACREATURE: Ugga!

THATKIDSAM: Oh, crap... {Puts hands up}

{Cut to the one that landed in 1938, in Atlanta, Georgia.}

THATKIDSAM: That's the last time I act for thatkidsam.muffin! Wha-?

{Thatladsamuel "drives" by on a carriage, with a floating Spiris -5900 on his shoulder. Brent is one of the horses, recognizable by his black hair and soolnds}

THATLADSAMUEL: This carriage is the iced cream on the cone!

THATKIDSAM: Hey, are you my grampa?

THATLADSAMUEL: It's the copper! Go faster, horses! {Whips the horses and they disappear}

THATKIDSAM: Rats!

{A bunch of old-timey police run by, and Lawson I is the squad leader.}

LAWSON I: That's the faulty copper! Get 'im, chaps!

{The guards sieze Thatkidsam, and the world transitions to 7838}

THATKIDSAM: Man, Cherry needs to get a grip. {Sees ThatkidSamus fighting a giant Queen Spiris} What the heck?

THATKIDSAMUS: That'll serve you right for destroying The Leet²!

THE LEET²: (I'm not dead! I'm right here!)

{The Queen Spiris comes over and eats Thatkidsam.}

{Cut to the real Thatkidsam, checking his email in 2005.}

THATKIDSAM: Oh, we all just love to email things, and that is really cool!!

Dear the REAL Thatkidsam,
Why did you send everyone into different time periods?
They could screw up the present and the future!
Get them out of there, I got a cool program you can use.

-Annoymous

attatchment

THATKIDSAM: Oooh... You're right, Annony. I guess I should check out that attatchment. {Presses Enter, and the attatchment is downloaded. A dagger and some coffee pops out of the TV. He drinks the coffee and falls into a caffine-induced hyper mode, and equips the dagger. He, in incredibly fast motion, grabs the Time Travel CD, puts it in, types in 1326, and jumps in. He goes through the tunnel and lands in the field where Yeoldesam, Lawrenceth, Brent the Short Panted, and Uggacreature are.}

THATKIDSAM (NON-HYPER): Hey, what the heck is that blur?

UGGACREATURE: Ugga!

LAWRENCETH: Get him, Brent!

BRENT THE SHORT-PANTED: {Uses the bow to try and attack the blur, but he misses and gets attacked by the dagger} Ack!

{The hyper Thatkidsam dashes around the group, knocking over everyone but Thatkidsam. He chucks that Thatkidsam into the TV, and Hyper Sam follows. When he lands, he sets the timer to 1938. He jumps back through and lands in an old-timey police station.}

LAWSON I: Eh, what's that blur, then?

{Thatkidsam stays out of the leader's sight, and drops every squad member, then tosses Lawson out the window. He saws away the bars of a cell and grabs the Thatkidsam inside, and finally jumps back through the TV. He resets the timer for 7838 and takes back off, but his coffee seems to have expired.}

THATKIDSAM (FORMERLY HYPER): Wow, I feel so... Slow!

THATKIDSAMUS: Hey, what's that extremely non-blurry figure over there? Is that... TeraGreat Grampa?

THATKIDSAM (FORMERLY HYPER): You calling me old? Hey, watch out!

{The Queen Spiris eats ThatkidSamus, then follows by eating Thatkidsam. Cut to the beast's belly, containing two Thatkidsams and a ThatkidSamus.}

THATKIDSAMUS: That was painful.

THATKIDSAM (FORMERLY HYPER): Tell me about it! You have armor on.

THATKIDSAM (NON-HYPER): How do we get out of here?

THATKIDSAMUS: I know exactly what to do. Cue boss music.

{Intense boss music plays as the screen tranitions to platformer-esque. ThatkidSamus starts blasting the beast's throat, and it swells and explodes. Victory music plays.}

THATKIDSAMUS: Yeah! Let's get out of here! {Grabs the two Thatkidsams and chucks them out into the TV}

{The two travel through the vortex tunnel, and they land in a big pile of Thatkidsams in the TV room. The real one sets the timer to 1976 and jumps through.}

THATKIDSAM: Ugh... I didn't think I'd have to be here... Ooh, a rocket launcher! {Picks up a retro-futuristic rocket launcher and destroys the stage}

DISCO SAM: You're ruining my concert, dude!

THATKIDSAM: Oh, really? {Fires at Disco Sam, who falls out the window}

DISCO SAM: Aaaaaaaaah...

THATKIDSAM: Well, now that that's taken care of, I'll just go destroy some buildings.

{Thatkidsam, with another Thatkidsam slung over his shoulder, destroys a ton of buildings.}

THATKIDSAM: Good times... Hehehe... {A tear runs down Thatkidsam's cheek, and he jumps back to 2005, and dumps the Thatkidsam on the pile of others.}

ICREATURE: (Thatkidsam, you idiot! Why'd you destroy the Vintage Video Game Dealer's shop? And why'd you kill Disco Sam?)

THATKIDSAM: Well, let's just say I missed with a rocket, and Disco Sam is a horrible creation!

ICREATURE: (But you and the Dreamcast will disappear! You bought the Dreamcast and some other systems from him!)

THATKIDSAM: What? {The pile of Thatkidsams and him disappear, and the Dreamcast fades away}

{A Dreamcast swirl unrolls a message reading "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the script when Cherry Greg is handing it over to see it.

TKSEmail #27 - "time travel"
Season 12

THATKIDSAM: Change this text for what you say.

{Stuff happens!}

BRENT: Yay!

NARRARATOR: It's over!!

• Click on Icreature to see the following scene.

ICREATURE: (Man, I'd really hate to use this Chrono Trigger on Thatkidsam. I'll flip a coin.) {Levitates a coin, tails up, and drops it an inch away from the ground. It suddenly flips to heads.} (Aww, fine...) {Icreature cracks an egg, which opens and teleports Icreature back to the exact instant where Disco Sam is falling out the window. Icreature destroys the rocket and it disappears in time as Icreature goes back to the present. Thatkidsam reappears in the air, and falls with a thud.}

THATKIDSAM: Um... What just happened? Why is my cloak on backwards? Did I miss something fun?

Fun Facts

• The fight with the Queen Spiris' innards is a reference to Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island.
• The easter egg is a reference to Chrono Trigger, with the Chrono Trigger was used to save some character.
• The quote "Why is my cloak on backwards? Did I miss something fun?" is a reference to Futurama, where one of the characters says "Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?"
• "It's over!!" is an obvious reference to Teen Girl Squad.

Author's Comments

• Rating: A-
• Man, this one took forever... But it was worth it. I really needed to introduce different time periods, so I figured I would do it here. I liked the theory of stuff disappearing in time, so I used that to get rid of the Dreamcast... But then I came to my senses, and it will stay around until at least Email #43.

Author Commentary

THATKIDSAM: Okay, folks, we here at X-Play give THIS email a- Wait, this is a commentary. With Ekul. Yeah. Yay.

EKUL: Yeah. This is an email that appears everywhere. It's like... continuating. Some are good, some just bomb this email. This is one of the better versions.

THATKIDSAM: I thought this was boring at parts, but apparently a lot of people disagree. Oh well, everyone's a critic. That's what got rid of that one "red vortex" email.

EKUL: Yeah. The redid version was quite great. Oh, and you break the fourth wall alot. I mean, Cherry Greg? Whoa. It's strange it took a Tampo to kill him off.

THATKIDSAM: Doesn't take much to kill a human. That's why they either hired non-humans, or humans with extra armor to take the job of working on my show.

EKUL: Aye. Humans are weak. That's why everybody in my show are immortal pheonixes.

THATKIDSAM: "60 viruses found! Downloading file." ...Yeah. That's a joke me and my stepsister thought up a long time ago.

EKUL: Well, hey, every good program either locks your computer up constantly or downloads a virus. That's the way things work.

THATKIDSAM: My Norton Antivirus never helps. "Scanning viruses..." "45 viruses found!" "Cannot delete viruses. Shutting down."

EKUL: That's why I have to use Mepis sometimes. My dad makes me. Why do you think C11 has linux now?

THATKIDSAM: Don't know. Maybe because if you said it was Windows, all the Mac fans would kill you, or something. But I did mention that he has Linux in one of my later emails.

EKUL: Oh! There you are! Splitting like some Doctor Who episode.

THATKIDSAM: This would be really cool in flash. And it would make more sense. That's the worst thing about paradoxes and stuff: It happens many times in future emails, especially the "Finding Stinko" plot.

EKUL: Paradoxes can sure suck to be involved in sometimes.

THATKIDSAM: Yeah. You don't know how it feels to die, then not die. It's really weird. I saw Opal. I spontaneously combusted.

EKUL: Actually, I've died over a quadrillion times. It's just that I rise from the ashes.

THATKIDSAM: I heard about that. Thatladsamuel was sad when Sacul died.

EKUL: Yeah. He was probably mad about Okul, because I was annoying while I was him.

THATKIDSAM: Hm... I'm not sure wether he knew Okul. I think he died, or not, or... I created a paradox, in which the person who saved him died, but I don't know when, or when it would- ARGBGBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL!!! CONFUSING!!!

EKUL: Okul would have been a kid. Thatladsamuel probably died from the stress of being constantly mailed to hug a tree.

THATKIDSAM: Or his awful son Disco Sam.

EKUL: Actually, they probably formed the group called the "Annoy the life out of the Old Timey people with bombardments of phrases that include hippiness"

THATKIDSAM: Heh. I loved this part. I killed Disco Sam!

EKUL: Yeah. That caused a Chrono Trigger reference. I think Kyves was the one who killed DiscoSam later. It was an accident, but it solved a problem.

THATKIDSAM: I might remove that easter egg. It spoiled something good in Chrono Trigger. At least I put a warning on the top of the page.

EKUL: You mean the thing at the top that nobody reads? Well, I'm pretty sure people don't really care about being spoiled. My brother read the script of Star Wars before he saw it and annoyed the crap out of a guy who wanted it to be suprised about it.

THATKIDSAM: Well, you're right. It's not like spoiling the end of Harry Potter 6, or Sigma Star Saga, or something. (Which both had been spoiled to me... Crap you Bonus stage... Crap you GameFAQs Message Boards and unmarked spoilers...)