Thatkidsam.muffin/star wars

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #43

A day of Star Wars nerds is brutal, trust me.

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Icreature, Fashionmore Henchman, Brent

Places: Fashionmore, Generic High School, Unknown House

Computer: Wonderswan Touched

Date: May 1st, 2005

Lines: 39

Transcript

{Thatkidsam is waiting in line with Icreature for Kentucky Fried Rat. He is between several Fashionmore Henchmen.}

THATKIDSAM: Man, this line is so long! And I don't even want to eat here!

ICREATURE: (Eat it or I turn my laser's setting to full power and give you a little free eye surgery.)

THATKIDSAM: {Raises one eyebrow} Woah! Okay, okay, I'll stay here.

{A long while passes.}

THATKIDSAM: Man, I need to check some email. {Pulls out the WonderSwan Touched and taps the E-Mail icon}

Dear Thatkidsam,
Do you like Star Wars? I gave you some tickets!
-YodaSkoda394

attatchment

THATKIDSAM: {Reads "YodaSkoda394" as "Stupid Star Wars name"} Hm... Star Wars tickets? I bet that's completely worthwhile, using those tickets to watch a movie. Completely! Especially when I'm at eye-surgerypoint at a Kentucky Fried Rat in a maximum security mall. And then there's the fact that I absolutely hate Star Wars, anyone that likes Star Wars, and anything to do with Star Wars at all! So that's why I'm completely considering this email to answer! TRASHED!

{TRASH COMPLETE shows up on the screen.}

THATKIDSAM: Well, now all I have to do is survive May 19th.

{The screen fades. The text "May 19th, 2005" appears on the screen. Thatkidsam is now at school, being lectured by Mrs. Regibliss.}

MRS. REGIBLISS: ...And then you got a Θ on your history test! {Incomprehendable whining} And then the cows shall descend on you, the cow-pocalypse! And you-
THATKIDSAM: {Pretending to listen} Yeah. Uh-huh. I understand. Completely, yeah. Yeah.

MRS. REGIBLISS: You do? Oh, good. You may leave.

{Thatkidsam leaves and overhears a ton of people talking.}

NERD #1: So, then I told my baby brother "Jake, I am your father" and he didn't get the reference! Tee hee!

{A ton of geeky laughing.}

NERD #2: Hilarious, that is! Become a stand-up comedian among everyone and become a great guy and have everyone love you you will!

NERD #1: Oh, it isn't so funny. You know what's really sad? The guy who plays Wookiee #239 is leaving!

NERD #3: I thought it was Wookiee #329!

NERD #1: No, I confirmed it on an Internet forum. It's #239.

NERD #2: NOOOO!!! HE WAS THE HAIRIEST ONE!! NOW I CAN'T SIT IN THE FRONT AND EXAMINE EVERY PIXEL OF EVERY HAIR IN HIM!!!!

THATKIDSAM: Ugh! I can't take this anymore!

{Thatkidsam runs away. Cut to Thatkidsam in Brent's room.

BRENT: Hey, Thatkidsam! You want to know what game I'm playing?

THATKIDSAM: It'd better not be Star Wars!

BRENT: Um... This is the Lego Star Wars video game, and it's completely different.

THATKIDSAM: WHAT!? Just because something is made of bricks doesn't make it more fun! Like, if I chucked a brick at you, it wouldn't be any more fun than throwing a balloon- Well, actually that would be more fun.

BRENT: Uh... I'm going to ignore that last bit.

THATKIDSAM: Well, nothing can get worse.

BRENT: Oh, and I wallpapered your room. Wanna see it?

THATKIDSAM: I have a strange urge to stay far, far away from my room. ...Wait, since when do we have a house?

BRENT: I stole it back from the compound.

{The room lifts, and Thatkidsam sees Lawson III outside the window with a crane, holding the house.}

THATKIDSAM: Crap...

{A plain piece of metal slides into view with engraved letters, "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Wait around for 5 seconds to see Thatkidsam's room.

{Thatkidsam's room is completely normal and blue.}

THATKIDSAM: Phew! I thought it was, like, covered in Yoda fat or something.

{Thatkidsam leans up against the wall and it uncovers a poster underneath the paint. It's a Star Wars poster. Cut to outside the house.}

THATKIDSAM: {Extremely low, echoing voice, travelling everywhere} NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

• Click on Star Wars to see the new Fluffy Puff Marshmallows.

MARSHIE: Now, buy the new Dark Side Fluffy Puff Marshmallows! They turn your tongue black! Be Darth Vader, somehow, with this tasty new treat!

THATKIDSAM: Wow. Even the big-shot manufacturers of Fluffy Puff have stooped to low heights.

Fun Facts

• May 19th is when Star Wars Episode III comes out, obviously.
• Brent must have ordered the house one email before this (in spin-offs) because the house was visible then.
• This is another case of the Cow-Pocalypse.

Author's Comments

• Rating: C
• Man, this was pretty short. But I liked it, and it solved the rumor of where Thatkidsam's house came from in the last email. That's important.