Thatkidsam.muffin/convention

Overview

Thatkidsam Email #61

Thatkidsam goes to a video game convention and starts his own booth for Trapper & Keeper. He also tests out his new Pwnage powers gained by being annoyed to death by certain people.

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Omni, Bubs, Mortimer, Hyperma, The Trapper & Keeper Guys, Rogue Redd, Icreature, Mrs. Regibliss, Toastpaint Hand

Places: Bubs' Concession Stand, NerdTopiaCkon, Terranotalepitalonderak (easter egg)

Computer: Gameslayer

Date: September 11, 2005

Lines: 111

Transcript

{The Gameslayer logo appears on the screen, and a black figure labeled "Omni" runs across the screen with a banner reading "Version: WE GOT ALL KINDS OF CRAZY CRAP!" Then, two icons appear: "Omni-Mail" and "Add New File".}

THATKIDSAM: Finally, it's time to check some email!

GAMESLAYER COMPUTER VOICE: Greetings, new player. Scanning figure.

{A red laser beam shoots out of the console and scans Thatkidsam several times. The black figure Omni dons the features of Thatkidsam.}

GAMESLAYER COMPUTER VOICE: Congratulations. Welcome, Thatkidsam.

{The Thatkidsam Omni runs over to the "Omni-Mail" icon and taps it. The screen transitions to an email that pops up.}

Dear Thatkidsam
We are inviting you to come to
a convention of video games. We
promise your safety from evil
new-gen radicals.
Hopefully your vice president of
fogotton consoles

The Shotgun Shogun

THATKIDSAM: {Reads "The Shotgun Shogun" as "The Shogun with a t Shogun".} Hm... A convention, eh? Well, there are-

{Bubs walks down the stairs and meets Thatkidsam.}

BUBS: Oh, hey, Thatkidsam! You're going to check some emails with that, I see. Remember, don't use up all of my electricity! We need that for the sno-cones!

THATKIDSAM: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

BUBS: Ooh! I see a customer! {Runs off}

THATKIDSAM: So, anyway... For the sake of this email, will there suddenly be a limo pulling up right about now to take me to this unpopular video game convention? Sweet!

{Bubs comes down and yells at Thatkidsam.}

BUBS: Hey, Thatkidsam! This really tiny car came up to the stand. He asked for you, so why don't you come up? He says his name is Mortimer.

THATKIDSAM: Ughhh... This was really unexpected.

{Cut to outside Bubs' Concession Stand. A really, really small car is in front of it. Mortimer, seemingly smaller than usual, jumps out.}

MORTIMER: Grrreetings, Lord Thatkidsam! I am here on behalf of NerdTopiaCkon to take you to your very own-

THATKIDSAM: Just get it over with and take me to the nerdy place.

MORTIMER: I hope you can fit into my ridiculously tiny car over here.

THATKIDSAM: Uh... You can drive. I'll follow you, walking.

{Mortimer looks like he's going to say something, but he stops and gets in his car somehow. He drives forward, and Thatkidsam follows. After a while, Thatkidsam runs up and kicks the car, and it lands in the river.}

THATKIDSAM: Meheheheheheheheheh! So... How will I get there?

{The little car rises out of the river with some kind of godly force and a lot of light. It lands back on the road.}

THATKIDSAM: Woah... That little guy just won't die... All the more fun for me! {Steps on the car}

{Cut to NerdTopiaCkon, where Thatkidsam is setting up a booth labeled "BOOTH 989". He has a couple rolled-up posters in a box and a box labeled "T & K". Hyperma yells from the left side of the screen.}

HYPERMA: Hey, Sam! How's it going?

THATKIDSAM: What? Where'd you come from? Since when are you not a beggar?

HYPERMA: Oh, let's just say I got lucky gambilng. Or the fact that I held one of the players at gunpoint.

THATKIDSAM: Uh... Okay.

HYPERMA: I'm running a MidevalOnline booth, I hope it gets a lot of customers! {Lifts a large sack, opens it, and pulls mideval weapons out of it}

THATKIDSAM: Yeah, well, I'm running a- ARE THOSE DAGGERS?? {Runs over to Hyperma's booth}

{Cut to a little while later, where Thatkidsam's booth is fully set up. Posters with each of the Trapper & Keeper Guys are along the wall, and a huge banner is at the top reading "Trapper & Keeper, Y'all!" Tons of metal figurines are at the table, and there's a box labeled "namertags?".}

THATKIDSAM: Hyperma, these daggers are of sewer quality.

HYPERMA: Oh, don't flatter me. I got them from the black market contained in the sub-sewer.

THATKIDSAM: ...Um... That... I won't even answer. Can you give me a refund?

HYPERMA: NO REFUNDS!! {Holds up a halberd}

THATKIDSAM: Geez, okay.

{A ridiculously tall little kid comes to the booth.}

THATKIDSAM: Hey, kid! Want to buy a Runes figurine?

KID: OMG, it's Thatkidsam! You're the creator of Trapper & Keeper, aren't you?

THATKIDSAM: I think it's kind of apparent. {Points to nametag which says "Thatkidsam Masdiktaht, Trapper & Keeper Creator}

KID: Wow! {Just stands for a long time}

THATKIDSAM: What, you want something?

KID: Can I have a picture with you!??

THATKIDSAM: ...Sure, whatever.

{The screen flashes and shows a little picture of Thatkidsam with a very, very fake smile and the kid strangely hanging in midair, smiling.}

KID: Can I have your autograph? Can I have five THOUSAND {Voice suddenly drops lower} autographs?

THATKIDSAM: Sure, kid. Hey, wait...

{The background turns black. Thatkidsam jumps up and floats in the air, and electric blue energy circles around his head. He enters a generic anime power-up sequence, then finally stops charging up.}

THATKIDSAM: MIH NO PWNAGE!!

{Text appears at the bottom of the screen.}

(Pwnage Bond Dream: Thatkidsam-Icreature Pwnage of Eye)

{A faint image of Icreature appears in the background, then disappears. Thatkidsam fires a laser similar to Icreature's and it hits the kid. He turns completely negative colors, and his costume is destroyed, revealing to be Rogue Redd.}

THATKIDSAM: Heh... Turns out it works after all. Thanks for being my test subject, Rogue Redd.

ROGUE REDD: Darn it, since when can you do that?

THATKIDSAM: Well, it's just a- {The background turns black again and Mrs. Regibliss appears momentarily, voice changes to an extremely annoying, high-pitched one} THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BOND WITH CERTAIN PEOPLE OR ARE ANNOYED TO THE BRINK OF EXTINCTION BY THEM. {The background turns back to normal again.} {Cough} Wow, that wasn't too good. I'll need to learn how to control it.

ROGUE REDD: ...Do you hear something?

THATKIDSAM: Kids these days never listen..

ROGUE REDD: No, I heard you. I just hear...

{A booming, opera guy's voice accompanies a giant glove holding a brown paintbrush, moving around.}

TOASTPAINT HAND OPERA: {Singing} Tooooast-paint, it's a toast and a paint and a toast and a paint and a toast and a paint and a toast and a paint and a toast and a paint and a TOAAAAAST PAAAAAINT! {The glove paints the entire scene brown}

{The brown melts away to show Thatkidsam back at the booth, and Rogue Redd is no longer there.}

THATKIDSAM: Ugh... I should kill that thing. I don't like being on topic.

{The camera shifts to the left to show Hyperma's MidevalOnline booth, and there is a huge group of nerds dressed up in costumes.}

HYPERMA: Ah, I see you're dressed as Lunarias Kembrodak.

NERD #1: {Strange noise} Yeah! Can I have the promotional Commander Hawk Lethal Axe on my MidevalD-Card?

NERD #2: We want as much exclusive stuff as possible! GIVE IT TO ME NOW! {Pulls out a very odd-looking sword}

HYPERMA: Fine. {Pulls out an old-looking scanner and scans something onto the nerds' cards} That'll include the Commander Hawk Lethal Axe, the Holy Miner's Pick, the Ultima Omega Fishing Rod, the ImagiCredible Shovel, and access to the exclusive district realm, Terranotalepitalonderak.

NERD #2: WOAH! Terranotalepitalonderak! I heard about that when I was macro-hacking into the-

{Hyperma quickly presses a button under the table and the wall behind him splits and moves apart. Tons of ninjas pop out and a guy dressed in black with a large "SANDSTORM" logo walks up to the nerd.}

SANDSTORM CEO: Greetings. Did you just say you were... {Eyes narrow} Macro-hacking?

NERD #2: ...Er... Um... I was... {Gulp}

SANDSTORM CEO: You very well know that macro-hacking is the cause of our giant server lags and glitches and... GET HIM!

{The ninja-people draw katanas and jump at the poor nerd, but right before they slice, the camera cuts back to Thatkidsam at the Gameslayer.}

THATKIDSAM: Ugh... I didn't sell anything. {Imitates a little kid} Oh, I'm Comsumer Jones, and I have to play games that DON'T HAVE OBVIOUS GLITCHES IN THEM! I want a PERFECTLY normal game! Waaah! {Goes back to normal voice} And then Hyperma had to scam me out of $600 for those subsewer daggers. Well, that just goes to show that you should never go to conventions.

{Omni runs across the screen, leaving a banner with the message "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on OBVIOUS GLITCHES to see why Terranotalepitalonderak was an exclusive area.

{Cut to Terranotalepitalonderak, which resembles a snowy hill. The menus at the bottom of the screen show that the person who is playing is named Aragorn572340.}

ARAGORN572340: Heh this place is good for training teh stats to L87

{Some other players come by.}

JDEN39: Lol d00ds macro-hacking is easy

PENCIL_ARROW: Teh easyness

{A message appears on the screen.}

Loading... please wait...

{During the loading, everybody moves in slow motion and some kind of dragon-monster attacks Aragorn572340, and he dies in fast motion.}

ARAGORN572340: Stupid lag... Stupid macro-hackers...

• Click on subsewer daggers to see an advertisement.

{A logo for "Hyperma's Subsewer Daggers" appears, and the daggers appear on a blue background below it.}

ANNOUNCER: Tired of those lousy, expensive steel daggers? Get the Subsewer Daggers, straight from the sub-sewer! They're only a little bit* worse! Buy 'em today, only $60T.

*Actually, they're the worst quality ever. Don't get them wet. And don't get them, period.

Fun Facts

• "Namertags" are a reference to TrogdorCon '97 which features the mysterious Gamertags.
• "Mih no Pwnage" translates to "? ? Pwnage" or "Pwnage of Eye".
• The translation of Thatkidsam's Pwnage abilities is a reference to the fansubs of Naruto.
• "Toastpaint" is a word on the Homestar Runner Wiki Forum that is said when a topic is getting off-topic, hence the hand making everything on-topic.
• "ImagiCredible" is a word created by Homsar.

Author's Comments

• Rating: C+
• The Pwnage was cool, but the ending was kinda rushed.