Thatkidsam.muffin/ebay mk2

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #34

Port of the first email for Dreamcast!! Director's cut edition!! Funtime!!

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Brent

Places: Masdiktaht Jet

Computer: Sega Dreamcast

Date: April 17th, 2005

Lines: 37

Transcript

THATKIDSAM: Gotta check until we find some dough, and the email will get us millions, man.

Dear That Kid Named Sam,
Did you ever try selling
useless stuff on eBay? It's
almost fun!

~Hagurumon

THATKIDSAM: {Stops reading at "eBay"} Wait a minute... Didn't I get this, like, five weeks ago? This was my first email! Don't make me answer it again!

{Thatkidsam pulls up the Internet and goes to Talk:thatkidsam.muffin. There is a message there.}

TKS! LOL WTH JOOR FIRST LOL EMAIL LIEK STEENKS, OMG WTH LOL!! --FORTYSIXMANISLIEKWTHOMGLOLCOOL

THATKIDSAM: Ha- Wait... That was directed at me! Hm...

{Thatkidsam goes and reads "ebay" again.}

THATKIDSAM: Wow... He's right... That email blew... Well, I guess I just don't care.

{Another message pops up.}

Hello, Thatkidsam. It appears that everyone is rioting over the blowiness of your first email, and unless you stop them, we will ban you. --Banny-Happy, the Adminator

THATKIDSAM: Heh- Wait... Banned!? I've already been blocked, I don't want to be banned! {Pauses and looks to the side} Hm... If Nintendo is living off remakes these days, maybe I can just remake my first email! Yeah, let's do this! {Starts singing} Email is the future! Get with the times!

Dear That Kid Named Sam,
Did you ever try selling
useless stuff on eBay? It's
almost fun!

~Hagurumon

THATKIDSAM: As a matter of fact, oh mighty gearface, I have an auction going on right now! Let's look at how many candy bars I'm going to buy.

{Thatkidsam logs into his eBay account, and his auctions are shown.}

Welcome ScamBot!
Auction history:

</td>

ITEM Half-Eaten Breakfast Burrito Paper Plate Game Boy (Crappy Edition) Robotic Dog/Shark Binary Mona Lisa Assorted Illegal Junk Paper Clip

HIGH BIDDER BigTrollMan fattydonuts not tatksam stillnothim thegentleman BigTrollMan No Bids

THATKIDSAM: Aw, all of my auctions are over! Oh, there's still the paperclip. {Clicks on "Paper Clip, and it brings him to the page}

eBay Page
Paper Clip, Sold by ScamBot

"This paperclip was made from some block of iron somewhere!
By closer inspection, it was used to hold together the
fake superhero The Yellow Dart's english paper. If you wish
to experience the supreme awesomeness of The Yellow Dart's
english paper right in your home, buy this paperclip! Also,
if you don't believe that, it was actually used as a nose
clip in Egypt. Yeah."

ACTIVATE NOW!

THATKIDSAM: Oh, I forgot to activate. {Clicks on "ACTIVATE NOW!"}

{Cut to Brent using his DS.}

BRENT: Ooh, there's a new bid by ScamBot! {Opens the same Paper Clip page as before, and reads it incredibly quickly} Man, ScamBot never fails to impress me. I'ma bid. {Pokes the number "$99.99" in with the stylus} Now, I just have to wait.

{Cut back to Thatkidsam}

THATKIDSAM: {Still uploading useless eBay items} A wave of babies... A doorbell that plays that really annoying song... Joel Dawson's hat prototype... Ooh, a bid on my paper clip! {Opens the list of bids for the paper clip} AUGH!!

{There are tons of bids on the page, and he refereshes. There are even more. The most recent one maxes out at $99,999,999.99, made by BrentSad.}

THATKIDSAM: Wait a minute... None of these bids are real, right?

{All of the bids disappear, and then someone named "hooray4dolphins" bids.}

THATKIDSAM: Marzipan!? Didn't you hear what I just said?

{Her bid disappears.}

THATKIDSAM: Ugh! Well, I hope you all learn a lesson about fake stuff... Nobody buys it for real.

{A Dreamcast swirl unrolls a message reading "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on buys it for real to see the Binary Mona Lisa.

01010011 01110100 01110010 01101111 01101110 01100111 00100000 01000010 01100001 01100100 00100000 01001000 01100001 01110100 01100101 01110011 00100000 01001101 01101111 01101110 01100001 00100000 01001100 01101001

01110011 01100001

Fun Facts

• The Robotic Dog/Shark is from credit card.
• The Breakfast Burrito is from english paper.
• A Wave of Babies is from Teen Girl Squad #6.
• Joel Dawson is from Bonus Stage.
• The translated binary in the Binary Mona Lisa is "Strong Bad Hates Mona Lisa".

Author's Comments

• Rating: C
• I didn't really know how to end this, so... Yeah. Not much better than the original, huh.