Thatkidsam.muffin/brain damage

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #29

Thatkidsam shows us a live example of brain damage.

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Icreature, James Johnson, Lunar Jesters, Nocturne, Cherry Greg, Brainspawn, Dr. Annoyed Grunt

Places: Masdiktaht Jet

Computer: Sega Dreamcast

Date: April 8th, 2005

Lines: 35

Transcript

THATKIDSAM: Man, I really wish this was the season finale. Whatever, only two emails to go...

Dear Thatkidsam,

do you know anything about head explosions?

Seb

The Lodge, MN

THATKIDSAM: Hm... Head explosions... I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. I mean, like... This kind?

{Cut to Icreature putting six firecrackers on the neck of a statue of President James Johnson. He lights them with his laser, and they explode, James' head flies off.}

THATKIDSAM: Well, that's it, Sebbly Petty. I'm not going to answer this email anymore.

{A Dreamcast swirl comes down, but it is unclickable. Cut to Lunar Jesters on a laptop.}

LUNAR JESTERS: A short email, eh? BLOCKED! {DELETED! comes up on the screen.}

{24 Hours later...}

THATKIDSAM: Well, that was truly the worst 24 hours of my life. No wiki, no being able to use my right hand, no mushroom heads... Oh, well. Time to re-earn my respect.

Dear Thatkidsam,

do you know anything about head explosions?

Seb

The Lodge, MN

THATKIDSAM: For some reason, I will naturally assume you are talking about the pressing topic of... BRAIN DAMAGE!! {The lights flicker} Well, anyway, I have this new roommate that moved in to my... House... And she can be a live example of brain damage! Let's go there. {Gets up}

{Cut to the dark hallway shown in assassination. Thatkidsam is using Icreature's laser as a flashlight and flicks the switch. Horror music plays as a black-cloaked figure approaches. It takes off the head and...}

NOCTURNE: The... bird... is... walking... AND THE COWS SHALL DESCEND ON YOU! THE LEVEL 66!!

THATKIDSAM: {Apparently not noticing as Nocturne rambles in the background} So, you see, this young lady has a mental problem. Her IQ was reduced from 38 to 26 in a horrible accident. {Long pause} Ahem! Oh, come on! You were supposed to show the footage!

CHERRY GREG: Oh, sorry.

{Cut to the City Hall, where giant floating brains are shooting pink lasers at people.}

BRAINSPAWN: Aha! We will make the Earth stand stupid!

LEADER BRAINSPAWN: Ha, ha, ha, ha. {Shoots a laser at Nocturne}

NOCTURNE: Bricks are fun! {Starts bouncing off the walls}

{Cut back to the hallway, where Nocturne seems to be enjoying plucking the induvidual feathers out of the rug.}

THATKIDSAM: So, that day, after the brains were destroyed by a powerful paradox, she regained some of her intelligence. Some. {A "Before/After" graph shows up, the "before" having six missing teeth and a horrible posture, and the "after" having five missing teeth and a horrible posture.} So, you know how to survive in today's world, kids! The following video will answer your questions.

{Thatkidsam attempts to enter a tape into a VCR, but Nocturne eats it and faints.}

THATKIDSAM: Man, I shouldn't have bought that! It was, like, forty bucks! Note to self: Never trust a dentist with fangs and devil horns.

{A Dreamcast swirl unrolls a message reading "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Thatkidsam to see a postcard from the dentist.

THATKIDSAM!!

YOU HAVE TO COME IN MAY 4TH, 2005!!! YOU WILL DIE!! SEE YOU THERE! HA HA HA HA!! WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM!!!

-DR. ANNOYED GRUNT

• Click on the bouncing Nocturne to play a game! You can move the little sliding bar to change the IQ of Nocturne's photo, and it will change accordingly.

• Click on the VCR to see an additional admin being angered.

{Cut to Ekul on C11.}

EKUL: A 35-line email, eh? DISAPPROVE'D!

{"BLOCK'D!" comes up on the screen.}

EKUL: Uh-oh. I shouldn't have done that.

Fun Facts

• The Brainspawn is from Futurama.
• This email contains an instance of The Cow-Pocalypse.

Author's Comments

• Rating: C-
• Meh, this was okay. I just couldn't think up anything funny at, like, midnight. Oh well, at least I got Nocturne's debut.