Thatkidsam.muffin/jealous

Overview

Thatkidsam Email #54

Thatkidsam tells you what kind of pets you should get, and Icreature gets an upgrade to stop Thatkidsam from buying one.

Cast (in order of appearance): Omni, Thatkidsam, Dozla, Icreature, Cody

Places: Gruffy Guff Mushrooms Blimp, Fashionmore

Computer: Gameslayer

Date: May 29, 2005

Lines: 59

Transcript

{The Gameslayer logo appears on the screen, and a black figure labeled "Omni" runs across the screen with a banner reading "Version: Windows '42" Then, three icons appear: "Omni-Mail", "Games Folder", and "Add New File".}

THATKIDSAM: Email is golden. Move over, life.

{The Thatkidsam Omni runs over to the "Omni-Mail" icon and taps it. The screen transitions to an email that pops up.}

Dear Thatkikdsam,
Icreature is a very undeserving, ungrateful creature. You
should buy a pet to make him jealous and teach him a
lesson!
From,

Wayoshi

THATKIDSAM: Woah! That Kicked Sam! That sounds like... Some soccer movie.

{Cut to a preview of a movie called "That Kicked Sam".}

SPOKESMAN: Sam is tired of being picked on. Just because he's in a wheelchair, blind, deaf, and only has one arm doesn't mean he isn't a good player. He can make it.

{Sam and some other players are playing. He moves very, very slowly toward the ball and kicks it weakly.}

SPOKESMAN: Will he be able to defeat the ultimate, steroid-using Team Evil? Watch this classic film in a new world June 8th, by Fashionmore Pictures.

{Cut back to the Gameslayer.}

THATKIDSAM: Well, I do think it is time I made Icreature really, really mad. I did buy some new protective clothing that bends his lasers away from me. Check this out!

{A dummy of Icreature pops out of the wall and fires a fake laser at Thatkidsam. It suddenly slows down and shoots back at the dummy, destroying it.}

THATKIDSAM: Isn't that awesome? So, uh, a pet to get Icreature jealous, eh, Waluigi? I ought to go to that new store that opened in Fashionmore. Brent, set a new course, right into that big glass window over Fashionmore!

{Brent's face appears on the screen to the side of the TV Thatkidsam is using, probably the communication link.}

BRENT: Gotcha.

{Cut to the blimp with its nose down on the top of the mall. Thatkidsam gets out. Cut to Petstupid, the pet store Thatkidsam mentioned.}

THATKIDSAM: {Walks into the dogs aisle} Well, I'm not real fond of dogs, but here I go: This little fella here {Points to a yappy dog in a cage} is what I call the ol'...

{"ALARM CLOCK" appears on the screen.}

THATKIDSAM: Alarm clock! These guys are always happy to see you, but that could also mean that they're still happy to see you when you're trying to sleep. I say... It makes me glad I have a big ol' cork around to shove in their mouth. Oh, and not to mention their annoying pouncing on you a lot. Silence and straitjackets are golden, yo.

{Thatkidsam walks into the cats aisle and points to an overly fluffy cat. The text "EVIL PSYCHO" appears.}

THATKIDSAM: Okay, this is the one I really hate, the evil psycho. You really think they're going to take over the world or something. You can never see their eyes... It's really creepy! Seriously, YOU try looking at one of these guys and not being hypnotized.

{The cat's eyes become visible, and the fluff and fat around them spreads to the sides. They start glowing and Thatkidsam's posture becomes rigid.}

THATKIDSAM: {Monotone} Yes. I will get you some fish, master.

{The camera shifts to the Fashionmore Henchman with a nametag labeled Dozla at the desk. He is secretly dialing a phone. The screen splits and shows Icreature on the other end of the phone.}

DOZLA: Icreature... I've got some bad news. We have detected Thatkidsam trying to purchase a pet... But it looks like he's just pointing at pets and saying stuff about them to someone invisible, or something... It's seriously creeping me out.

ICREATURE: (Thank you for telling me, Dozla. I will ensure he does not pay full attention to his pet... Heh heh heh.)

DOZLA: I'll try to stall him with the cat. Oooh, looks like he's already busy with it. {Hangs up} HEY, PUT MY FISH DOWN!

THATKIDSAM: {About to empty the fish into the cat's cage, but he stops and his eyes stop glowing} Hey... These are those Betta fish things! Aww... They're so cute... They aren't actual fish, just betas... I want one!

DOZLA: Uh... You know what? I think you should get a top-quality tank. And look at it for a while. And then look at several types of food.

THATKIDSAM: I'm not falling for that. I just want the fish and a water bottle. I'll give it a turkey sandwich.

DOZLA: {Whispering into the phone} It's not working!

ICREATURE: You don't need to stall anymore.

DOZLA: What? What happened to your voice? It's not all distorted!

ICREATURE: Let's just say I'm getting a couple of upgrades right now.

{The screen widens and shows that Icreature is inside a capsule and an electrical current is running through him. The electric current stops and a tail sprouts from his back as he gets much larger. His claws glow green and several spikes protrude from around his eye. The red panel under his eye gets much larger and darker. The background turns dark as he poses and then floats away.}

THATKIDSAM: Okay... I'll name you Cody! {Looks closer at the Betta fish} Aww... Cody...

{Some Fashionmore Henchmen walk past the store.}

DOZLA: Uh oh. Gotta act more henchman-like. THAT WILL BE $2.50, PUNY NON-HENCHMAN.

{Icreature bursts in.}

THATKIDSAM: Holy cow, what happened to you!?

ICREATURE: Are you trying to buy a pet to replace me?

THATKIDSAM: This isn't a pet, this is a... Beta pet. And since when do you know a language other than Distortationish?

ICREATURE: You will pay for trying to replace me! {The store dims and he fires a dark purple laser at Thatkidsam.}

THATKIDSAM: Heh... Is this what happens when you shed? Because I don't want to clean up a ton of your goo when we get home. {The laser slows down slightly but then speeds up, much to his dismay.} HOLY CRAP IT'S NOT WORKING!! {Falls over}

ICREATURE: Heh heh heh. Welcome to my adulthood. Wait 'til KristIcreature sees this tail! And these claws!

{Omni runs across the screen, leaving a banner with the message "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Wait 10 seconds and Icreature will start flexing his claws.

ICREATURE: Ooh, yeah... I don't NEED to work out anymore... No more shredding up Thatkidsam's systems... But that would be fun...

• Click on Cody's water bottle to see a scene involving him.

{The camera zooms in on Cody, and his eyes are red. Time itself stops and he jumps out of the water bottle and lands on the ground. The word "Pwnage" flashes across the screen. Cody grows to a huge size and shoots lasers out of his eyes, destroying the psycho cat.}

Fun Facts

• Team Evil is from Shaolin Soccer.
• Betta fish are a real fish and they are quite cheap.
• Petstupid is a parody of Petsmart.
• How could Dozla have read Icreature's subtitles through the phone?

Author's Comments

• Rating: B+
• Everyone needs an upgrade. Thatkidsam and Icreature have now been upgraded, only a couple more... Icreature looks so cool now. I'm go upload his new picture.