Thatkidsam.muffin/spacewarrior

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #8

Thatkidsam makes an anime cartoon, Spacewarrior 7838!

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Air Zonk, Icreature, ThatkidSamus, Spiris, Dark Lawrence, The Trapper & Keeper Guys (easter egg), Homsar (easter egg)

Places: Masdiktaht Jet, NOOB-1337, CHOO-CHOO-666

Computer: Turbo Grafx

Date: March 13th, 2005

Lines: 40

Transcript

THATKIDSAM: All your email are belong to us!

Dear Kidsam.
What would you look like in a japineez cartoon?

-strangleme93

THATKIDSAM: Well, I would strangle you, but I'm not strong enough. But, maybe in my anime version... Let's experiment! {Takes out the E-Mail card and replaces it with a card labeled "Zonk's Punk Rockin' Super Extreme Photo Editor"}

{On the screen appears Zonk being chased by people with eggshells on their heads. He grabs a powerup, and turns around and devours them all with a bear trap shot from his mouth. The logo appears, and Thatkidsam advances to the editor. On it is displayed a picture of Thatkidsam.}

THATKIDSAM: {His changes are applied to the image as he says them.} Well, first of all, I'd have Icreature with me... Then, I'd look much more modern, like, a laser suit... And I wouldn't have a head- HEY! {Thatkidsam's head disappears} It would be replaced by a futuristic helmet with a visor... And, on second thought, Icreature wouldn't be with me. He'd be some kind of blaster thing attatched to my arm. And, for some reason, I'd have a lot of long, girly, blonde hair sticking out of the back of my helmet. Now, that's what I call futuristic! Then, all you need to do is put me in a starship, and let me have millions of adventures trying to destroy some guy!

{ThatkidSamus' starship flies to a strange planet with the text "PLANET NOOB-1337".}

{ThatkidSamus lands and jumps out. He is immidiately confronted by millions of Icreature-resembling creatures, Spirii. He falls to the ground, and a laser hits the ground. It turns into an evil-looking Lawrence.}

DARK LAWRENCE: Feast, my friends! Devour his soul! I will now cause a war between the Homestaroth and the Strong and destroy everything in my path! And after that, I will suck up the melonade at the scene and become ALL-POWERFUL! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

THATKIDSAMUS: {Suddenly wakes up} Not so fast! {Fires a wave of ice at Lawrence, freezing him}

{A generic anime tear appears on Dark Lawrence's forehead, even though he is frozen solid.}

THATKIDSAMUS: And now, I will not try to combat this Spiris stuck on my foot, I will just scan it and hope for it to suddenly die. {A scanning beam comes from ThatkidSamus's visor. A "Scanning... Please Wait..." message appears. It suddenly turns into a blue screen of death.} Oh, great... I can't see anything! Stupid visor... {A clank of armor is heard as ThatkidSamus falls to the ground.}

{Cut back to Thatkidsam answering the email.}

THATKIDSAM: Man, that's awesome! But, when they'd bring it to us here in North America, they'd tone it down a bit so they could air it on their kid channels. And Dark Lawrence wouldn't even be called that! He'd be called... Mean Lawrence.

{Cut to a large, pink planet with pastel colors everywhere. Flowers are everywhere, and ThatkidSamus and Mean Lawrence are painted pink and purple respectively.}

THATKIDSAMUS: We cannot fight! Violence is not the answer! Now, let us frolic in the beautiful lands of CHOO-CHOO-666!

{Both characters start skipping around while singing a very, very high-pitched song. Several pink Smurfs follow.}

THATKIDSAM: Ugh. I hate it when they do that. All good TV got translated horribly from the Land of the Rising Sun, and got turned into a show for kids! At least Trapper & Keeper will be mature enough for us in America. Okay, keep sending me your questions, and I might answer them!

{Several Turbo Grafx U-Cards line up at the top of the screen displaying the message "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]"}

Easter Eggs

• Click on for kids to see another scene from the American Spacewarrior 7838.

MEAN LAWRENCE: And now that we're dizzy from dancing around so much, it's time for our special guest to appear! Everybody please welcome Haddi-Man!

HOMSAR: Thank you, purple top! Why don't anyone like the garlic on a dump truck?

• Click on Trapper & Keeper to see the stars be transformed into 20X6 characters.

{All four characters are on a blank sheet of paper, just standing there.}

THATKIDSAM: {His changes are made to all four characters as he says them} Okay, let's start by shrinking their whole bodies. Their heads will be as big as a third of their body, their feet would be about half as big as that, and their arms would be absent... Wait, bring back the hands. And just make the hands into little balls, make their eyes take up half of their face, add text to their shirts... {Runes gets a "YAY!!!" shirt, Don gets a "I BRAKE 4 BUNNIES" shirt, Idris gets a "MEEP!" shirt, and Erik gets a "^_^" shirt.} There! You got some great, deformed game characters!

Fun Facts

• The e-mail's intro is an obvious refernce to the All Your Base craze.
• Almost everything about Spacewarrior 7838 is a parody of the Metroid series of games.
• The planet ThatkidSamus' starship visits is Bomber Planet from Bomberman Hero.
• ThatkidSamus having "A bunch of girly hair coming out the back of the helmet" is a reference to Zero from the Megaman X series, who is a male with blonde, long hair coming out of his helmet.
• The deformed Trapper & Keeper characters are in the "Chibi" style of drawing.
• Everything being toned down for North American release is a reference to many anime shows that are turned into kids' shows at our release, like anything made by 4Kids.
• Haddi-Man was last seen in for kids.
• The intro to the photo editor is a reference to the famous intro to Pac-Man.

Author's Comments

• Rating: C+
• Spacewarrior is a staple in later emails. It's my main source of comedy. This one was too much of a Metroid parody, but I liked poking fun at the scanning, and the blue screen of death on the visor was good.