Thatkidsam.muffin/cancelled

Overview

Thatkidsam Email #50

Thatkidsam makes several attempts to stay on The Wiki Channel, where he got cancelled.

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Brent, Mushroom Monster, Omni, Nocturne, Classic Spacewarrior Characters, Lunar Jesters, ThatkidSamus (easter egg), Emperor Regibliss

Places: The Stick, Gruffy Guff Mushrooms Blimp. NEWB-L33T, MMO-RPG (easter egg)

Computer: Gameslayer

Date: May 22, 2005

Lines: 63

Transcript

{A message appears in front of a flashing screen.}

The following email has been lost in several days
because of the hassles of moving into a new house.
We hope you enjoy this production.

Bring on #50! Rock, rock on!

{Thatkidsam and Brent are standing out near The Stick, holding suitcases. Brent is also holding a shoulder-mounted harpoon cannon.}

THATKIDSAM: We totally shouldn't be doing this.

BRENT: It was your idea!

{A Gruffy Guff Mushrooms blimp flies by.}

THATKIDSAM: Whatever. Hey, look up there! Fire the cannon, now!

{Brent fires the harpoon and it hits the blimp. Brent reels in the entire thing and patches the hole quickly. They step in and everything goes fast-motion as they unpack. Thatkidsam checks his email.}

THATKIDSAM: Ah, Gameslayer. Let's check it together!

{The Gameslayer logo appears on the screen, and a black figure labeled "Omni" runs across the screen with a banner reading "Version: Happy Fiftieth Birthday, Loyal Customer!" Then, three icons appear: "Omni-Mail", "Games Folder", and "Add New File". The Thatkidsam Omni runs over to the "Omni-Mail" icon and taps it. The screen transitions to an email that pops up.}

Dear Mr. Masdiktaht,
We regret to inform you that
the Wiki Channel has cancelled
Thatkidsam Emails.
With all due respect,

The Cancellation Dept.

THATKIDSAM: What? The Cancellation Deputy? Who's that? {Quickly reads over the email again} WHAT!? Cancelled from the Wiki Channel? What did I do? Moving takes time, you know! And it's not like Waterman gets updated faster than once a week or three times a week! Please, man! You have to get me back on!

No, thanks.

THATKIDSAM: Quit your wisecracking! They would never cancel my show. Look... You guys can have whatever you want.

{The screen turns black momentarily and it reappears with Thatkidsam whispering something to Nocturne at the last second. He then runs over to the right side of the screen and signals to the camera.}

THATKIDSAM: {Deep voice} Say there, Nocturne! How's the boyfriend Homestar going?

NOCTURNE: Well!

{Thatkidsam runs over and whispers something to her. He then runs back.}

NOCTURNE: I mean, I AM NOT NOCTURNE. I AM AN EVIL ALIEN GUY.

{Nocturne takes off her cheap mask, revealing to be a robot.}

THATKIDSAM: Holy crap! That wasn't in the script! She really WAS {Looks directly at the camera} a robot all along!

ROBOT: Yes. I am Qwerty, sworn to take over the world.

THATKIDSAM: NOOOO!!!!

{Everyone pauses for a second, then Qwerty takes off the suit, still revealing Nocturne inside. The camera tapes slightly too long.}

NOCTURNE: So, how was that?

THATKIDSAM: Yeah, it was pretty good.

CAMERAMAN: Crap, we're still rolling!

{Cut to another email on the Gameslayer.}

Dear Thaaatkid,

Make another crappy spin-off of the main series.

THATKIDSAM: With pleasure!

-:Spacewarrior 7837:-

Classic Cartoon Action

DIRECTOR: Are you sure this isn't too similar to Spacewarrior 7838?

THATKIDSAM: It's fine. Crappy gimmicks and spin-offs are never bad.

{Cut to Planet NEWB-L33T.}

THATCHILDSAMUS: It's time to save the day, Samus-style!

SPYRIS: (Die!)

DARTH LAWRENCE: ThatchildSamus... I am your father.

THATCHILDSAMUS: {Gasp!}

DARTH LAWRENCE: I'm not finished! I am your father's half-brother's wife's cousin's neighbor's stepfather's neice's dog's father's owner!

THATCHILDSAMUS: Er, what?

DARTH LAWRENCE: Die! {Cuts off ThatchildSamus' hand}

THATCHILDSAMUS: Owwwww, why'd ya slice off my hand!?

{The screen turns black once again. Cut to Thatkidsam sitting on the couch.}

THATKIDSAM: Guess what we're going to do for this email? We're going to go see another crappy movie based on a video game! Isn't that original?

{Cut to the Fashionmore movie theater.}

OUR FEECHOR PRESSENTAYSHUN
DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION

THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

THATKIDSAM: All right! It's starting!

SPOKESMAN: Every time you step on that pad... Evil killbots all over the world are activated, ready to kill with no kill limit.

{A flashing banner appears on the screen.}

DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!!1one

SPOKESMAN: Nobody knows it. Dance Dance Revolution is one of the most deadly games in the world. But two kids, in this new age, don't play video games. They can save the world from a killbot invasion.

KIDS AGAINST KILLBOTS!!!!!!!!!!1111one

SPOKESMAN: By watching this documentary / action film, you can see how deadly a video game can be. And what the good thing is... It has Tom Reykjavik in it! Everyone loves that actor.

THATKIDSAM: What? Who is he? Ugh, I hate actors.

SILENCE IS GOLDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111one

THATKIDSAM: To heck with this.

{The screen turns momentarily blank, and Thatkidsam is now announcing a Hyperma action figure.}

THATKIDSAM: New, from Twitchyroach Toythings! You've seen Hyperma in all of his best moments on the hit show thatkidsam.muffin... Now, bring the action to your living room and drive your parents crazy by leaving him on the couch! Buy new clothing sets to replay your favorite Hyperma moments!

{A poster appears and Thatkidsam reads off of it.}

• Human Fly / Bomb Insurance Worker
  
• Construction Worker
  
• That one guy
  
• Ekul
  
• Strong Sad
  
• The Guy With A Lot Of Hands
  
• Marshie saying "Ancient Dinosaurs"
  
• Speech Baloon Man

THATKIDSAM: {Depressed voice} Yeah, just come on down and buy it somewhere...

{The screen turns blank for a minute, and it cuts to Lunar Jesters with spectacles stamping the "thatkidsam.muffin Re-Application Form" with a DECLINE'D! stamp. Cut to a gold trophy depicting Thatkidsam impaled on The Stick.}

50 Emails

Congraturation!

{Omni runs across the screen, leaving a banner with the message "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on Congraturation! to see ThatkidSamus and Emperor Regibliss.

EMPEROR REGIBLISS: And then, turn to Page 493 to see tonight's lesson!

MAY 22, 2005
THATKIDSAM PUBLISHED HIS 50th EMAIL.

WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH HISTORY, I DON'T KNOW.

THATKIDSAMUS: Aw rats, I've only had five emails to date! But I'll bounce back...

• Click on The Stick to see some more impaling action.

{Techno music starts playing and clips of Thatkidsam impaling himself on The Stick are played to the rhythym.}

THATKIDSAM: Ugh, what will it take? I'm really sick of this happening!

Fun Facts

• The version of Gameslayer is a reference to flashback.
• Waterman is an online cartoon that once had a period of 7 months in between Episode VII and Episode VIII.
• ThatchildSamus' last line is a reference to the popular Star Wars Gangsta Rap where Luke said a similar line.
• The trophy is yet another The Stick Impaling.
• "Congraturation" in the trophy's text is a reference to Videro Games.
• Hyperma's costume, "Marshie saying 'Ancient Dinosaurs'", is a reference to "commercial", a Poopsmith Email.

Author's Comments

• Rating: B+
• Ugh... This took a lot of surfacing and editing, but it came out great! I like it, and congrats to Einoo for this awesome email he sent me. Also you may be noticing how many Waterman references I'm making (or not). I'm just so excited about the soon release of Episode IX.