Thatkidsam.muffin/dsaltines

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #20

Thatkidsam shows you the proper way to steal stuff.

Cast (in order of appearance): Brent, Thatkidsam, Strong Bad (easter egg), The Cheat (easter egg)

Places: Masdiktaht Jet

Computer: Nintendo DS, Sega Dreamcast

Date: March 29th, 2005

Lines: 41

Transcript

{Brent is in his room, lying on his bed, checking his email on his DS.}

BRENT: I am not Strong Sad! I am not Strong Bad! Now, let's start this new generation of emails! {Inserts the E-Mail card}

Yo Yo Thatkidsam!
Do you like DSaltines?

-stinkoman

BRENT: {Stops reading at the word "Do".} Hmm... This must be Thatkidsam's. I'll forward it to him. {Taps the screen, and a message pops up saying "CONNECTION LOST! File sent anyway."} Well, good. Hey... He likes DSaltines, does he? I'd better hide my stash. {Shifts eyes, and pulls out a package of DSaltines and chucks it out the window}

{A message pops up saying "6-8 MONTHS LATER..."}

THATKIDSAM: I'm gonna email you, dude! You gotta email me back! {Inserts the E-Mail disc}

Yo Yo Thatkidsam!
Do you like DSaltines?

-stinkoman

THATKIDSAM: {Pronounces "stinkoman" as "Stiny Coma"} Hm... DSaltines? Oh, yeah! I used to have a BIG stash in my yard, but Brent started liking them and it somehow disappeared. Well, right now, I'm in the mood for some! Please allow me to teach you in the fine art of stealing.

{Cut to Brent's room, where Thatkidsam is on the ceiling. Brent is eating a box of DSaltines. A sign says "Method 1".}

THATKIDSAM: {Voice-over} So, the first method is... Steal an idea from your favorite superhero! {Thatkidsam lowers himself from the ceiling with a strand of silly-string coming from his hand, but he falls down on top of Brent} B'oh!

BRENT: Are you trying to steal my DSaltines?

THATKIDSAM: Um... No.

{A sign labeled "Method 2" appears.}

THATKIDSAM: {Voice-over} Or you can try the copyright-infringing Method 2! To do it, simply copy a popular movie! {Bass-y music plays as the camera shifts and Thatkidsam grabs the box and runs on the wall sideways, but falls off once the music stops}

BRENT: Stop stealing my DSaltines! Now they got crushed into my carpet!

{A sign labeled "Method 3" appears.}

THATKIDSAM: {Voice-over} Or, this one's my favorite. Dress up like a baby and ask them politely to fork it over. {Thatkidsam appears in a baby costume} Goo goo gaa gaa!

BRENT: Here, have these DSaltines! {Hands him one, then jerks back his hand} Hey... You're Thatkidsam, aren't you? It's clearly you under that costume.

THATKIDSAM: (Rats!)

{A sign labeled "Method 4" appears.}

THATKIDSAM: {Voice-over} You can also make Brent lost in a lot of nerdy music by playing it.

{Thatkidsam slips a CD into Brent's red radio, and a techno song starts playing}

THATKIDSAM: Now's my chance! {Lands on the bed and attempts to take the box, but is shocked}

BRENT: {Stares at Thatkidsam} Look... No matter how many times you try, you'll never be able to get them. I got a shocker right here! {An electric clamper is shown clamped to the box}

{A sign labeled "Method 5" appears.}

THATKIDSAM: {Voice-over} If your victim does something like shocking the box, there is only one way to get it... Very long tongs. I bought mine from Bubs'. {Thatkidsam gets a 30-foot-long set of tongs and grabs the box, quietly sneaking away} YES!! I finally got them! {Looks in box, box is empty} Aw, nuts!

{Cut back to the Dreamcast.}

THATKIDSAM: Well, those five methods are all good, but I really think you shouldn't infringe copyrights. That ain't cool, man. Well, I've gotta go steal some more DSaltines from the national warehouse. {Leaves}

{A Dreamcast swirl unrolls a message reading "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on national warehouse to see Thatkidsam's attempt to rob it.

{Cut to a Fire Emblem-esque scene showing millions of enemy units guarding the warehouse, all facing Thatkidsam's sprite.}

THATKIDSAM: Aw, snap! I knew there would be more security this time...

• Click on steal to see Strong Bad following one of Thatkidsam's methods:

{Strong Bad and The Cheat are hiding in a bush behind Bubs' warehouse.}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, let's ditch the fireworks method and go with this one.

THE CHEAT: (Angry The Cheat noises)

STRONG BAD: Okay, easy, easy... {Uses tongs to grab a candy bar from the warehouse, but alarms sound}

THE CHEAT: (Angry The Cheat noises)

STRONG BAD: Ugh... We should have just stuck with the fireworks.

Fun Facts

• The presentation of the methods is similar to dullard.
• For Method 1, Thatkidsam was attempting to duplicate Spider-Man.
• For Method 2, Thatkidsam was ripping off The Matrix.
• The easter egg is a reference to The Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon.

Author's Comments

• Rating: C-
• This email was sort of average, because it was rushed. Pretty good for a rushed email, though. This proves that Thatkidsam is not actually a very good thief, despite being dressed up as Corma, a very powerful Thief / Assassin / Rogue in Fire Emblem 2 (FE8 in Japan) hitting stores May 23rd.