Thatkidsam.muffin/gossip

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #17

Thatkidsam's radio station will reveal 10 juicy facts about the universe!

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Ian Stretcheye, KristIcreature, Icreature, Gary Palaroncini, Mrs. Commanderson, Strong Sad, Bubs, Marzipan, Coach Z, Strong Bad

Places: Masdiktaht Jet, VirtualMobile, Lawrence's House

Computer: Sega Dreamcast

Date: March 19th, 2005

Lines: 42

Transcript

THATKIDSAM: The world is made up of many things, but the best is: E-MAIL!

Dear Strong Sam,
Do you have your own radio station?
Sincerly

Sir Butkus Crambert

{Pronounces "Strong Sam" as "Strong Bad... No, Strong Sad... No, Strong... Glad... I'm not even gonna touch that one.}

THATKIDSAM: Well, Cramberry, I have the best radio station in all of Free Country! It features ten juicy pieces of gossip as told by Ian Stretcheye... Me. Ooh, I have a recording of last night's clip. Let's go listen to it.

{Cut to inside the VirtualMobile. Thatkidsam is standing in front of a stereo, the Gold Boom Box. You can hear a disguised version of Thatkidsam's voice coming from the radio.}

IAN STRETCHEYE: {Obviously Thatkidsam with a British accent} Welcome, all listeners, to the 94 FM Nightvision Gossip Show, where we will reveal the top ten juiciest facts of the week! Catch us the time when there AREN'T all ads, every Friday from 3:00 PM to 4:30 PM! We know your secrets... We will start with a countdown. Let's start with #10... It seems that Icreature has been cheating on KristIcreature!

KRISTICREATURE: {Listening on a large stereo with hearts on it} (What!? I'll see about that!)

{Icreature is holding a piece of stationery, reading it.}

From the Deskette of KristIcreature
Dear Icreature,
You are an Icreature and I am another Icreature.
Therefore, I think we should break up. I hope
we can still be friends.

Love, KristIcreature

IAN STRETCHEYE: Meanwhile, we have a guest speaker. Gary Palaroncini! Please tell us about your theft of the giant Cheatar.

GARY: Wh-how'd you-

IAN STRETCHEYE: We know everything. And if you don't want us to reveal yet another fact about you, please describe why you needed to.

GARY: Well, Ian-

THATKIDSAM: {Off the radio} This part gets kinda boring, and made up for most of the one and a half hours of the clip. {Fast-forwards the tape}

GARY: I would like to thank-

THATKIDSAM: Just a little bit longer... {Fast-forwards longer}

IAN STRETCHEYE: And that was our #4 fact! Now we will uncover the top three facts after we hear a word from our sponsors!

SPOKESMAN: Cheat Commandos, maybe fighting for freedom, each one is sold separately. Cheat Commandos, probably battling evil, buy all our playsets and toys!

OLD-TIMEY SPOKESMAN: Portly Washboy, don't eat it like the cartoon man!

IAN STRETCHEYE: Coming up on #3... Mrs. Commanderson does not have a diploma from CGNU!

MRS. COMMANDERSON: Eraaaak!?

IAN STRETCHEYE: That's right, Commanderson, you stole it from a three-year-old, who happened to be a small Strong Sad!

STRONG SAD: So, I had just got my College diploma, and they had moved me up through every school, and then this huge bird came out of the sky and stole it!

IAN STRETCHEYE: So sad... Anyway, the #2 fact is... Marzipan once broke her vegetarian beliefs! If you don't believe it, why don't you just listen to this super-secret recording from Bubs' Concession Stand?

BUBS: What can I get for ya, Marzipan?

MARZIPAN: Don't tell anyone, but... I want the biggest steak you have.

BUBS: 72-ounce? You sure? And aren't you vegan?

MARZIPAN: Vegetarian, and it's lent, isn't it?

BUBS: Lent was, like, at least 6 weeks ago! But oh well, a sale's a sale. That'll be tooty-too dollars.

MARZIPAN: Thanks! {Cash register noise} {Loud crunching noise}

IAN STRETCHEYE: Shocking! If you want to see the whole thing, just go on the Internet and type this in: www.ianstretcheyesnightvisiongossipshowthatisntreallystar94fm.com. But don't flock to your computers right away, keep listening for the #1 fact! This one has to do with the famous e-mail checker, Strong Bad! Drum roll, please? {Short drum roll, then the sound of a stick falling on the floor, then the rest of the drum roll} Strong...Bad... He doesn't actually type with boxing gloves on! If you need to know the details just ask Coach Z!

COACH Z: Well, I was directing one of his emails, and I stormbled upon the deadly secret: His emails are forlmed with his hands typing, then the boxing glorves are ordited in afterworaerords!

IAN STRETCHEYE: Now, please, if you want to see a preview of the TV show, log onto that website we told you earlier! If you missed that, it's www.ianstretcheyesnightvisiongossipshowthatisntreallystar94fm.com! And I bid all of you watchers... Adieu!

{A Dreamcast swirl unrolls a message reading "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the boom box to bring up the Ian Stretcheye's Nightvision Gossip Show website. More detail on this is found at Nightvision Gossip Show.

Fun Facts

• This gossip show, complete with British accents, is a reference to a The Simpsons episode ("Wild Barts Can't Be Broken").
• 94 FM is the station of Star 94, a popular Atlanta radio station.
• Mrs. Commanderson is from Teeny Tiny Girl Squad.
• Ian Stretcheye may be a reference to James Bond's creator, Ian Flemming. Stretcheye has a way of spying, and Flemming is the creator of a spy.
• The Cheatar is an obvious reference to The Cheatar.
• This is the first email featuring the Spiral Case which will also appear in the next email.
• The Cheat Commandos theme is an obvious reference to Cheat Commandos Commercial.
• Portly Washboy is from radio.
• The Gold Stereo and KristIcreature's stero bear a striking resemblence to Animal Crossing, which has the Gold Stereo and the Lovely Stereo.
• Butkus and Crambert are two of the "stupid names" that Strong Bad made Homestar make fun of in replacement.

Author's Comments

• Rating: B
• I wanted to do my own variation on "radio", and I had just seen that Simpsons episode, so this came naturally. I like to "clear up" rumors by just stating a fact. Marzipan disobeying her vegetarian beliefs and getting fat took a while of editing to come out right.