Thatkidsam.muffin/Y2K6

Overview

Y2K6

Everything goes haywire when nothing is labeled the right year.

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Bubs, Icreature, Brent, Thatcreature, Nocturne

Places: Bubs' Concession Stand, Big John's Bomb Shelters, Aircraft Hang-Ar, Wiki 2005, Trippy Space

Date: January 2, 2005?

Lines: 196

Page Title: Merry 2005!?!

Transcript

Y2K6

w00t

made b' TKS

'nd LMX, 'nd 'lso MC

again, w00t

watch da freekin movy

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand, where everyone is having a party in the basement, with lots of flashy, colorful panels everywhere, similar to Club Tecnhochocolate.}

THATKIDSAM: Pretty good party you got here, Bubs. I mean, we have our classic New Year's Sacrificial Table, we've got everyone here, we have papayas... Wait a minute, where's Coach Z?

BUBS: He went to some crazy place called "New York".

THATKIDSAM: Ugh, I heard about that place. Too much security. Can't assassinate ANYONE!

BUBS: And their concession stand industry is too competitive. I heard a guy named Bobs and a girl named Babs have concession stands bigger than Microsoft!

THATKIDSAM: Stupid New York...

BUBS: Big cities are just full o' crazy crap. Too much for me.

{Cut to Icreature and Brent talking while Hyperma sweeps up with a dust pan and broom.}

ICREATURE: I knew Bubs could throw a party, but man, I didn't know everything would be this trippy. I have a lot of experience with lasers, y'know, and I can generate them right in front of my eye, but I've never come this close to having a seizure.

BRENT: You haven't seen the DDR competition yet. Or the laser show.

ICREATURE: Ooh, a DDR competition!

BRENT: {Laughing} Like you'd ever enter a DDR tournament.

ICREATURE: Just you watch...

{Cut back to Thatkidsam and Bubs.}

THATKIDSAM: ...totally wearing those jeans from Macy's!

BUBS: Omigosh!

{Icreature floats by.}

ICREATURE: Thatkidsam, hold still for a second.

THATKIDSAM: For your sake, I hope this isn't another one of your shenanigans. ...Heh, shenanigans. I love that word.

{Icreature "explodes", splitting up most of the particles in his white, jelly-like body. The particles swarm onto Thatkidsam, who falls over. The particles cause a mummy-like covering on his body, except his hands are now Icreature claws. A large eye opens on the face.}

THATKIDSAM: {Muffled scream}

{The particles are "ripped off" of Thatkidsam, freeing him. Icreature, molded into Thatkidsam's shape, walks away like a human.}

ICREATURE: I've also inherited your mad DDR skillz.

THATKIDSAM: No! Clones are no match for the original! ...I think.

ICREATURE: Let's see, then!

After the competition...

THATKIDSAM: That was a disaster...{Angrily} When you said "inherited", did you mean "stolen"?

ICREATURE: Yeah.

THATKIDSAM: I hate you.

ICREATURE: I know that, and I bask in that glory.

THATKIDSAM: There's only one thing that can salvage this... And that's the Annual New Year's Sacrifice. Ooh, here it comes!

{The lights dim, and spotlights swirl as Bubs speaks over the megaphone.}

BUBS: And we all know that the main reason we have a New Years party is for the sacrificial dealies... Well, we'll just keep that tradition! Who's ready for the sacrifice?

{The crowd unenthusiastically cheers.}

BUBS: And our next sacrifice is...

{The spotlights swirl so fast they become a circle of light, slowly closing, finally focusing on one figure in the crowd...}

BUBS: LAWRENCE, uh, whatever that guy's last name is!

LAWRENCE: GAH! I'm going to kill you all! KILL YOU! DIE! BURN!!! BUUUUUUUUUUUR-

BUBS: That's quite enough. Now, get on that table!

{The screen fades and fades back again. Lawrence is now strapped to a table, and a large pole is near him with an oversized dagger on it, similar to the ball that comes down in New York.}

BUBS: Let's begin the countdown!

CROWD: 10!

{Each time, the camera cuts to a different place where people are counting.}

NEW YORK PEOPLES: 9!

TODDLER: 11!

FRENCH PEOPLES: Sept!

GUYS IN A BAR: {Make no sound}

THE ANNOUNCER: 5!

WOOKIEE CROWD: {Groan}

PANDA: {Strange noise}

GREAT ICREATURE ELDERS: {Distorted bleeps, subtitled} (2!)

MARKIE: 1, DAWG.

{A man's microwave reaches 0 and begins to beep.}

MAN: Cool, my burrito's done!

{Cut back to the party, where everything is a disaster. Lawrence escaped, and the counter says "2005??".}

THATKIDSAM: What happened, WHAT HAPPENED??

BRENT: I guess we should have prepared for this...

THATKIDSAM: IT'S HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE! I... I have a questionable craving for about 5,000 mushroom tops...

ICREATURE: And I... {His body reverts to its original form. Smaller, no tail, and a smaller mark under his eye. He begins to speak in his distorted tone, and subtitles appear for those not understanding the native Icreature language..} (I want to be up to some laser-type shenanigans... And make Thatkidsam's life a sucky one. What? I can't speak English!)

BUBS: And my mechanical skills... They're much, much better than Thatkidsam's! Yeah! Fight the powa!

THATKIDSAM: Darn... {His body reverts to its original cosplayer costume, of Fire Emblem 6's "Chad". His daggers become longer.} Eew, now I have to wear my ugly old cosplay! What was I thinking!?

{Cut to a place resembling a bomb shelter, where Thatkidsam, Icreature, and Brent are sitting in a triangle of chairs. Thatkidsam and Icreature are still their old forms, and Brent is wearing a cheap lab coat and very thick glasses.}

BRENT: So, after thoroughly examining the specimens, withdrawing any possible gluon shenanigans...

THATKIDSAM: You mean, looking up something on Wikipedia and disguising it as an analysis...

BRENT: Shut up. ...To put it simply for you non-thick-glasses-people, our involvement with that dastardly Milkman paradox caused us to lose a certain brain wave, therefore rendering our minds brain-proof. But our bodies, however, have been reverted to how they used to be a year ago.

ICREATURE: (See? I told you he wasn't that bad.)

THATKIDSAM: Hm, really?

{Cut to a clip of The Jolly Old Milkman in the Aircraft Hang-Ar.}

JOLLY OLD MILKMAN: Ha ha ha ha... HA HA HA HA!!! {Fires a giant, red cannon}

{Cut back to the bomb shelter.}

BRENT: This was all caused because everything labeled "Present-Day" is still labeled "2005"! Thatkidsam, you were in charge of labeling everything correctly!

THATKIDSAM: Well, it's not MY fault the National Kangaroo Steak Festival and Elephant Slaughter Carnival were in town. They had a new year's special, where they... HAND OUT FREE MUSHROOM TOPS! Ugh, my 2005 mind keeps decieving me... Ugh.

BRENT: The problem is, since it is both 2005 and 2006 to us, we have two seperate memories that might switch at random moments. For example, Thatkidsam here could not remember Opal, and break up, thus resulting in hilarious shenanigans and antics.

THATKIDSAM: Wh-gh-how did you know that I... I...

BRENT: Don't act like everyone doesn't know. There are 7 fanfictions about you and Opal, and there's one that pairs me and Nocturne.

THATKIDSAM: Eew.

BRENT: I know. ...So, basically, we need a time travel device, and we need one now.

THATKIDSAM: Easy. I'll just use the VirtualTimeBus.

BRENT: I hate to break it to you, but... You didn't find out about unpopular game systems until February. You currently check emails on... A PS2!

THATKIDSAM: AAAH! THE HORROR!

{Cut to Lukatia, where Ekul is listening to an iPod.}

THATKIDSAM: Hey, cyberduck! You got a time machine? ...I said, you got a time machine? BACKWARDS LUKE, DO YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE?

EKUL: Enh? I don't know who you are, but you aren't getting your hands on my time machine. Besides, I have 13-line emails to finish! Go away!

{Cut to outside of a large pipe sticking out of the ground.}

THATKIDSAM: Um... This must be where Markie lives... Uh... {Jumps on top of the pipe and attempts to go down} It's a black abyss down there, but I'm just standing on top of it! WHY WON'T IT WORK? Ugh, I never understand how these things work...

{Cut to a large building labeled "The Admins' Panel".}

THATKIDSAM: Uh, Rainer? Oh, wait. LJ's the only one here. Hey, Banninator! You got any spare time? Or a time travel device?

LUNAR JESTERS: Uhh, just a second! I have to ban someone.

{A huge laser blast flies out of the building.}

LUNAR JESTERS: There we go.

{The screen fades out and in. LJ is now standing in front of Thatkidsam.}

LUNAR JESTERS: TIME TRAVEL!??? That isn't possible! Time travel doesn't exist!

THATKIDSAM: You idiot. Time travel DOES exis-

{Lunar Jesters fires another laser at Thatkidsam.}

About a freakin' month later...

THATKIDSAM: That block was rough.

LUNAR JESTERS: It's your fault for calling me an idiot!

THATKIDSAM: Uh, sorry.

LUNAR JESTERS: Whatever. I've heard that a user named mitchell00 believes time travel exists. Maybe you should ask him.

THATKIDSAM: Cool! Where is he?

LUNAR JESTERS: He's offline at the moment. Said something about "a vacation."

THATKIDSAM: How long!?

LUNAR JESTERS: A couple years.

THATKIDSAM: {Bleep!} the {Bleep!}-ing {Bleep!}s of the-

{Another laser blast blows Thatkidsam away.}

Another month later...

{Cut to a dirty apartment, where Thatkidsam, Brent, and Icreature are watching TV.}

THATKIDSAM: How many minutes until 2008?

BRENT: A lot.

THATKIDSAM: How many minutes until 2008?

BRENT: A lot.

THATKIDSAM: How many minutes until 2008?

BRENT: A lot.

THATKIDSAM: Ugh, I can't stand this fanstuff! It's so bad! Man, even Matt Wilson has stuff on here.

ICREATURE: (Hey, at least it's better than most British sitcoms.)

{Icreature proceeds to act one out with sock puppets on his claws.}

MAN: Honey, I'm home! {audience laughter}

WOMAN: You're just on time! {audience laughter}

MAN: I know. {audience laughter}

{Icreature quickly makes another sock puppet of a kid.}

KID: YOU ALL SUCK! {audience cheering}

THATKIDSAM: Um, yeah.

{Cut to the front door of the apartment, where Thatkidsam is opening a package.}

THATKIDSAM: Hm? YES! IT'S THE TIME MACHINE! EVERYBODY, COME QUICK!

{Brent and Icreature quickly appear behind him.}

THATKIDSAM: 2006, here we come!

{He opens the package...}

THATKIDSAM: {Bleep!} it, it's a hypno-coin! I specifically ordered the novelty time machine, not the hypno-coin! Lazy comic book companies...

BRENT: Next time, tell us that you're ordering crap when you are.

ICREATURE: (So much for "authentic time machine ordered from Mitchell".)

{Cut to a junkyard, where Nocturne is living.}

NOCTURNE: FUNTIME TACO SHENANIGANS!!!!!!1

{Nocturne begins crazily bouncing around and knocks over a large pile of wood, revealing a purple object.}

NOCTURNE: Query for dealie? {Chucks the object into another pile}

{It's a time machine. It lands on one of its buttons, and "2003" appears on the display. A large green field envelops the entire junkyard, and it begins to implode.}

NOCTURNE: CALL AAA FOR FREE SCIMMY!

{Cut to a really, really trippy whirly background. A British Narrarator reads over a poor-quality microphone.}

BRITISH NARRARATOR: Nocturne appeared in an empty field in 2003, thus preventing the Gruffy Guff Mushrooms factory from being built there. They had nowhere else to go, so... All Gruffy Guff Mushrooms disappeared.

{A strange-colored mushroom flies by and explodes.}

BRITISH NARRARATOR: The National Kangaroo Steak Festival and Elephant Slaughter Carnival relied on their free mushroom tops to gain sales of their kangaroo steaks. But because there were no Gruffy Guff Mushrooms, they were forced to use crappy imported mushrooms, which quickly turned most people off.

{A blue steak flies by and explodes.}

BRITISH NARRARATOR: Thatkidsam, who has no National Kangaroo Steak Festival and Elephant Slaughter Carnival to go to instead of changing dates, is desperately sad and dies of boredom.

{A silhouette of Thatkidsam flies by and explodes.}

BRITISH NARRARATOR: With no Thatkidsam to assign the changing of dates to, Brent is instead assigned to do it. It is completed, thus preventing the glitch.

{A sign labeled "All of life's problems" flies by and explodes.}

BRITISH NARRARATOR: So, there you have it: Nocturne's shenanigans has prevented the bug, but killed Thatkidsam. A brief moment of silence for those who have departed.

{About a period of 1 milisecond passes.}

BRITISH NARRARATOR: So... If you had the ability to prevent Nocturne from commiting this act, would you do it? You would save Thatkidsam!

BRENT: Nah.

LAWRENCE: Nope.

ICREATURE: Uh...

OPAL: No.

ITALIAN STEREOTYPE: A-no.

BRITISH NARRARATOR: So, there you have it: Nobody here cares about Thatkidsam at all.

The End!

Easter Eggs

• Click on ! to view the following text below it:

this is non-canon for a reason...

Fun Facts

• This entire email references the Y2K Bug, which would have happened if computers were not programmed to go past the year 1999.
• Brent mentions the Milkman paradox, which was a part of the Finding Stinko plotline.
• The whole Delta Brain Wave thing is a reference to a similar happening in Futurama, where he created a paradox where he was his own grampa. The effects are entirely different, though, as this missing brain wave made him invisible to a brain-based enemy.
• Thatkidsam's obsession with mushroom tops was pointed out in sandwich, a very early email.
• The "British sitcom" scene is a joke directly stolen from Super Sam, which was on the forum.
• Nocturne's line, "CALL AAA FOR FREE SCIMMY!" is a reference to MMORPGs, where people might say "Call [insert number here] for buying [insert item here]!" Others would then say [insert number here] and they would buy it. "Scimmy" is a common abbreviation for scimitar.
• The word "shenanigans" is used 7 times, 2 of them by Thatkidsam.