Thatkidsam.muffin/stealing

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #32

Why does Thatkidsam ask everyone if they've stolen something, anyway?

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Ekul, Nocturne, The Announcer, Hagurumon, Icreature (easter egg)

Places: Masdiktaht Jet, Ekul's House, Hagurumon's House

Computer: Sega Dreamcast

Date: April 12, 2005

Lines: 46

Transcript

THATKIDSAM: You know what, people? I'm not even going to sing an email song today. My voice is {Cough} raspy. You seriously don't want to hear me. Onto the email...

Dear thatkidsam,
Have you ever gotten mail asking why you only
ever ask people if they've ever stolen something?
With carp,

Einoo

THATKIDSAM: {Reads "Einoo" as "Einu... Enuhuh... Um, I'm not even gonna touch that one. I'ma call you Erik B.} Well, Erik, it seems that you have brought me enough fish over the years. Okay... {Clears screen} No, I've never gotten email about that. But, I will be willing to tell you the awesome story behind this email I sent!

{Cut to Thatkidsam looking through his games.}

THATKIDSAM: {Voice-over} There was a time of sorrow back in late February.

THATKIDSAM: Hey... Where'd my copy of Battlefield 500 B.C. go!? Now where am I going to use a machine bow to destroy buildings? SOMEBODY STOLE MY COPY!!! WAAGH!!

{Thatkidsam is now looking through his game system vault.}

THATKIDSAM: Where's my X-CubeStation go? SOMEBODY STOLE IT!!

{Thatkidsam is looking in Nocturne's hallway.}

THATKIDSAM: Hey, where'd Nocturne go? SOMEBODY STOLE HER!! Oh, wait... I don't care.

THATKIDSAM: {Voice-over} I was missing everything I needed to answer my email and beyond. So, I tried to catch people red-handed with this email!

{Cut to Ekul reading off an email.}

Dear Ekul,
Has you ever stolen something?
Cwaaaapfully Yows,

thatkidsam

EKUL: Oh, right, we pirates NEVER steal anything... Geez..

{Cut back to Thatkidsam at the Dreamcast.}

THATKIDSAM: Much to my dismay, nobody ever admitted to stealing Battlefield 500 B.C. or that system I was going to use. So, after that, I pretty much gave up.

NOCTURNE: Hi, you. The sewer was fun.

THATKIDSAM: Wha- HOW COME YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT!??

NOCTURNE: Mentos. They let me enjoy brief moments of kelaphagasism.

THE ANNOUNCER: Mentos, the freshmaker!

{All three smile and hold up a mentos tube. The announcer leaves, and Thatkidsam chucks his tube out the window.}

THATKIDSAM: But... Kelaphagasism? I don't even know that word! AGH!! THE APOCALYPSE IS COMING!! NOCTURNE IS SMARTER THAN ME!!

{The background turns bright red, and evil laughing is heard.}

NOCTURNE: The energy... Is gone... {Slowly turns dumb} Hee hee hee! I hitted a dodgeball and lost fifty pounds!

THATKIDSAM: Ah, order is restored in the land of Thatkidsam. {The background turns normal} Now, I just need to use you to get back my stuff...

{Thatkidsam is in Hagurumon's house, with a bag holding Nocturne.}

THATKIDSAM: Hey, Hag... Hagrewthman! I'm here to pick up that game I lent you!

HAGURUMON: Um... What game?

{Hagurumon's eyes shift around, and Nocturne jumps out of the bag and crazily jumps around the room. A CD falls off one of the shelves.}

THATKIDSAM: A-ha! You stole my Battlefield 500 B.C. game!

HAGURUMON: But-

{Nocturne breaks out of the window and flies off.}

THATKIDSAM: Rats, she got away! Meh, let's have some mentos. {Pulls out two tubes and gives one to Hagurumon}

THE ANNOUNCER: Mentos, the freshmaker!

{Everyone smiles and eats a mento.}

{A Dreamcast swirl unrolls a message reading "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the window to see Nocturne in wherever she went to.

{Nocturne is in a very strange, happy rainbow place, prancing around.}

NOCTURNE: La la la la la!!

• Click on any mentos tube to see a tube of Icreaturementos.

Fun Facts

• "Hag... Hagrewthman" is what Thatkidsam called Hagurumon in ebay.
• The X-CubeStation is one of Ekul's older computers.
• Mentos are a real candy, and the mention was spoofing their now-famous ad.

Author's Comments

• Rating: D+
• Meh, I liked this one at the beginning. I tried everything I could to surface it, including a Mentos parody, but I couldn't unearth it.

Author Commentary

CONCHRIS: First! Anyway weclome to stealing commentary.

THATKIDSAM: Heh. I'm always late when I'm doing 7 commentaries at once. So, how'd you like this email? Crap or cool?

CONCHRIS: I'm just started to read it and my turn out is cool. I loved how you tried to say Einoo's name.

THATKIDSAM: Heh... Battlefield 500 B.C... That would be, like, stone hammers and stuff. I'd buy it.

CONCHRIS: And then comes the 'stealing' email, {reads email out} Dear Ekul, Have you ever stolen something? Cwaaaaaapfully Yows, thatkidsam.

THATKIDSAM: Nocturne getting intelligent was funny. {Pause} Oh, crap! She found the secret lair in which I'm commentating from!

NOCTURNE: TEE HEE HEE! JIBNEYCRACKERS CREATURE ARGBLBLBLLBLBLBLL!!!! TOASTPAINT TASTY.

THATKIDSAM: Crap, I KNEW I should have brought the tranquilizer-rifle with me to the office!

CONCHRIS: Okay, what I find funny is you screaming about this apocalyspe. And now, you find the culprit.

THATKIDSAM: I don't know why I called him "Hagrewthman" in the first email... It was kinda weird.

CONCHRIS: And that's that. This is Conchris, signing off somehow {crash}