Thatkidsam.muffin/financial difficulties

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #41

LawsonTrust Credit Industries takes revenge for Thatkidsam's fake credit card. Good-bye, house!

Cast (in order of appearance): Thatkidsam, Icreature, Brent, Nocturne, Hyperma, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Pom Pom, Lawson III

Places: Masdiktaht Jet, House of the Brothers Strong, Marzipan's Gazebo, The Stick

Date: April 26th, 2005

Lines: 68

Transcript

THATKIDSAM: Ah, email. I've missed you. Let us bond.

Dear Thatkidsam Masdiktaht,
We regret to inform you that your credit card account has expired.
To keep your account, we will need
you to send your old credit card number and
expiration date, as well as a new one so we can
make the change. We promise we are real and
not just trying to steal your money.

Spencer, and some other people

who aren't scam artists

THATKIDSAM: {Reads "Masdiktaht" with a French accent} Spencer!? Not a scam artist!? Wasn't that the guy I saw on the wanted poster earlier? {Holds up a WANTED poster with Edgar in the picture} Oh... He's the FBI guy. Wait- You know about my credit card? Nobody is supposed to know about my credit card! It isn't real- Oops. I said it.

{Icreature floats in. Brent follows. Nocturne jumps through the window. Hyperma flies in through the ceiling.}

ICREATURE: (WHAT!? You have a fake credit card?)

BRENT: Bah, I knew you were never actually rich.

NOCTURNE: Blah, room valuable evermore harvest moon.

ICREATURE: (You didn't need to rent out that unexplored hallway to Nocturne! You just wanted some extra money that you didn't need!)

THATKIDSAM: Look... Homestar was having some problems living with someone so similar to him, so I had to keep her for a while.

BRENT: Give her back! We're all sick of her!

NOCTURNE: Homestar less IQ. Me smartest! {Pronounces as "smar-TEST"}

THATKIDSAM: Okay, people. If nobody finds out about my fake credit card, then we'll all be fine.

{The camera zooms out to show that Thatkidsam is standing next to "The Microphone Tree" that projects his voice everywhere. Cut to the Strongs' house.}

STRONG BAD: Shhhh! We musn't wake baby Strong Sad!

THATKIDSAM: {Echoing voice} If nobody finds out about my fake credit card, then we'll all be fine.

STRONG MAD: THATKIDSAM HAS FAKE CREDIT CARD!!!

STRONG BAD: I heard that, you know.

STRONG SAD: What?

{Cut to Marzipan playing Carol for some birds and singing.}

MARZIPAN: There was a bird! There was a bird! A really, really, really, really, really cute bird!

THATKIDSAM: {Echoing voice} If nobody finds out about my fake credit card, then we'll all be fine.

MARZIPAN: Whoever that was, you sure scared away that really, really, really, really, really cute bird.

{Homestar and Pom Pom are standing at The Stick.}

HOMESTAR: And then the wind blew, and my shirt came off. That was really embarassing, Pommy.

THATKIDSAM: {Echoing voice} If nobody finds out about my fake credit card, then we'll all be fine.

{Pom Pom blows away because of the sound, and Homestar's shirt comes off. He becomes pixellated.}

HOMESTAR: Wow... Good thing nobody's looking at me. {Pauses} Wow, I thought a bunch of people were going to pass by me in a comical fashion. {Pauses} Wow, it still hasn't happened!

{A crowd of people randomly passes by.}

HOMESTAR: Wow, nobody looked! {Pauses again} Wow, this is going great.

{Cut back to Thatkidsam and his room's inhabitants.}

THATKIDSAM: Wow, that was really bad. I wonder who heard that?

HYPERMA: My Sound-Y-Sense is tingling! It went absolutely everywhere!

THATKIDSAM: Hyperma, everybody knows you're a fruad. Give up.

NOCTURNE: He fraud!

BRENT: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's a fruad.

ICREATURE: {Etches "Fruad" in the carpet with his laser} (Heh. I should probably stop abusing that.)

THATKIDSAM: Everyone, scatter! The security company will only arrest the one with the fake credit card!

BRENT: How surprisingly noble of you.

THATKIDSAM: That's why I'm giving it to you. {Tosses the credit card at Brent and leaves}

BRENT: Hey!

{A ton of FBI agents and Lawson III destroy the wall and burst through.}

LAWSON III: Thatkidsam! We've tracked your false credit card, hand it over!

BRENT: Um... Here's the credit card. He's over in the escape pod in the back. {Reluctantly hands the card over}

LAWSON III: This sounds like a framing!

{Brent looks worried.}

LAWSON III: ...Of Brent! Thatkidsam will be charged with framing an innocent and using a fake credit card. Let's get him!

{Later, Thatkidsam has served his time. They are now repossessing all of his stuff.}

LAWSON III: So, we have no choice but to repossess all of the things you bought with the card. We have your records. We will now take your entire house.

{The FBI agents start piling up stuff. One takes his Bonk statue.}

THATKIDSAM: No! You can't take that! That took hours to make! {Sees someone taking the Dreamcast} NO!!! That's my best friend! You can't do it! No! Stop taking my filed systems!

{Time itself stops, and Thatkidsam's eyes glow red and the word "pwnage" appears at the bottom of the screen. Tons of white slashes in the screen are made as Thatkidsam jumps around with daggers, and then time starts again. Everyone is gone and his eyes die down.}

THATKIDSAM: Ha! That's what you get for trying to mess with Teh Pwnage! Who's the master!

{Thatkidsam looks out the window and sees Lawson III piloing a robo-crane, holding up his house and dumping it into the lake.}

THATKIDSAM: D'oh!

{Thatkidsam is now at The Stick with Icreature.}

THATKIDSAM: So, what are we going to do now?

ICREATURE: (Let's go to the King of Town's place. I heard he has some bison and mushrooms there.)

THATKIDSAM: Castle, here we come!

ICREATURE: (Yeah, you can go there. I was lying.)

THATKIDSAM: I remember the days when you were useful!

ICREATURE: (Oh, yeah. Before time? Is that what you were talking about?)

THATKIDSAM: Exactly!

ICREATURE: (That's impossible! Was I just... Fooled by Thatkidsam!? D'oh!)

{A Dreamcast swirl unrolls a message reading "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on The Stick to see that poster again.

WANTED
EDGAR THE VIRUS AND OTHER STUFF HUNTER

I want you to catch that guy.

-Spencer and some other guys

• Click on Icreature to see Before Time.

{Icreature and Thatkidsam are floating randomly in white space.}

ICREATURE: (I love you Thatkidsam.)

THATKIDSAM: I love you too.

Fun Facts

• Harvest Moon, mentioned by Nocturne, is a real game.
• Marzipan's song is from Audition With Marzipan.
• Strong Bad talking about waking "baby Strong Sad" is a reference to the facts.

Author's Comments

• Rating: B+
• Yeah! Finally, an original way to destroy the Dreamcast! And Lawrence has destroyed it both times, bwa ha ha. Thatkidsam's PWNAGE scene was weird, I wish my eyes would do that. Or at least glow white.