User:Ekul/Email/80

Overview

To be a troll, or a sysop?

Lines: 109

Cast (in order of appearance): Ekul, Tandy, Darlon, Nived, Stan, Stinkolad, Kyves

Transcript

{Ekul is sleeping.}

EKUL: Learning... Curve...

{Cut to Ekul in his dream. He walks over to his computer, and turns it on it up}

Tandy at your service. I'm ready tp jump up and down.

EKUL: Hey Tandy how about opening up an email!

ert+,

Why don't you start a takeover of local countries to expand Lukatia's greatness? It might be tough. I hear there's a powerful clan of Walruses.
-Thatkidsma Teh Expandre

EKUL: Oh, that's easy!

{Ekul opens up a little walkie talkie.}

EKUL: Okay, sarjent, Take over the Walrus place!

WALKIE TALKIE: Can do!

EKUL: ... So there you-

{Cut to Ekul in bed}

EKUL: Have it dave... I lost the.. What?!

{Ekul sits up}

EKUL: I had a dream that I answered a good email in a crappy way! Ugh... Now I definitly want to answer an email. Tandy?

{Ekul sits down}

Yeah? Email time?

EKUL: Yes sir!

ert+,

Why don't you start a takeover of local countries to expand Lukatia's greatness? It might be tough. I hear there's a powerful clan of Walruses.

-Thatkidsma Teh Expandre

EKUL: NO!! I MUST NOT FURFILL MY DREAM! MANIAC'D!!!

Done. what was that all about?

EKUL: Don't you worry. I'd better opens up and other email.

And other?

EKUL: Shut up.

Dear Ek

I've noticed how you never seem to get sick how do you stay so healthy?
~Limoman

EKUL: NO!! A STRONG BAD EMAIL THAT SOMEONE ELSE TOOK CREDIT FOR! Oh man... it's so tempting to answer this email like I used to... Before I delete this, I will answer. I am immortal. There. Maniac'd.

Sheesh... What are you afraid of

EKUL: If I don't get the right email... I may be tempted to go into a "n00b email" spasm. Open another... Please...

STOP EKUL! You're going to waste some good emails!

EKUL: Then open a bad one.

Dear Ekul,

Your due for an appointment atthe dentists for a filling Yours sinserely
Dr Dentist

EKUL: I'M A FREAKIN' PENGUIN! I DON'T HAVE TEETH!!!! EVERYTHING IS GOING DOWN THE DrAiAiAiAiNN!N!!N!N!N! BLARRRGHghGhgHgHgAhararaRHaghmercurymercury..

{Ekul starts fading.}

Ekul! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU!??!?

EKUL: AUGH! I'M GOING CRAZY!! THIS IS SUCH A HORRIBLE EMAIL!!!

{Ekul disapears. Cut to space.}

EKUL: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!!

{Carstimmons appears}

CARSTIMMONS: Ha ha ha... I'm evil.

EKUL: NO! STOP IT!! YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD!

Carstimons: Ha! Badguys come!

{Darlon, Stan, Stinkolad and Nived appear}

Darlon: We got together to ruin you and make you look bad in front of your fans!!!

StinkoLad: And I'm not a badguy, I'm just here for some reason.

St4n: DEFANSTUFFGUIDELINIZE!!!

Ekul- NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

darlon- hah ah ha you cant win

ekul- stop it

nived- now your emeil sho will be unpoplar

ekul- NOOOO!!!!!

{Suddenly everything becomes back to normal}

EKUL: Whoa! Who did that?

NIVED: NOO!! Our plan was perfect! WHAT HAPPENED?

VOICE: You underestimated us...

{Joshua, Rainer and Lunar Jesters comes out}

JOSHUA: We needed to save Ekul, because we need to save a fellow system operator.

LUNAR JESTERS: Heh. We've always been good at correcting unfit things.

RAINER: Basically, we can walk into anywhere we want and correct it!

EKUL: Hah!

JOSHUA: We now need to walk out. We cannot intervene too long. But don't forget Ekul... You are a sysop too... You also have the power...

{Joshua, Lunar Jesters and Rainer leave}

DARLON: Hah! What a bunch of baloney! We've taken over the best of users... You know Dark E-102? He's a friend of ours...

NIVED: We thought about transforming you back then, but your emails were short and crappy. You were too useless and-

EKUL: SHUT UP!

{Ekul takes out his lightsaber and tries to stab Nived.}

NIVED: Ha ha ha... You don't know where we are? Troll realm... You can't hurt us here... And anything you do to us won't hurt us in the regular reality... Join us...

EKUL: No... I can't... I WON'T!!!

{Ekul tries to shoot them with his machine guns}

STAN: He doesn't get it!! HA!

{Ekul tries to freeze or burn them, but both attempts die away}

NIVED: Join us... You have nothing to lose, except those losers you call friends.

STINKOLAD: And your entire account.

DARLON: What is that fool even here?

STINKOLAD: We have different views.

DARLON: Ah. Oh well. PSYCHIC DARKNESS!

{A purple and black beam hits Ekul. He falls down}

EKUL: AAAAAAUUGH!! I feel like being evil...

{Ekul suddenly stands up}

EKUL: No. YOU CAN'T BRING ME DOWN!!!

{Ekul takes out his lightsaber. Suddenly it glows and changes. It is a sword that has a shiny frame}

EKUL: The Sysop Saber... Now I'm not copying anything... TAKE THIS, EVIL DUDES!

{Ekul swings his saber at Stan, who disintegrates immediately. Then he slices Darlon in half. He suddenly starts turning to dust}

DARLON: No... It cannot be.. I AM INVINCIBLE!!!

EKUL: Stop the cliches...

{Ekul X-slashes Nived}

NIVED: We won't die in reality...

EKUL: But you will here.

{Ekul then turns to Stinkolad}

STINKOLAD: Now wait just one moment... I didn't hurt you at all.

EKUL: Sorry. I just want to use this thing one more time.

{Ekul hits Stinkolad with his sword. He fades away}

STINKOLAD: Ow! Power abuser!

{Ekul suddenly fades away. Cut to Ekul's room. The tandy sits there. Kyves is there, too.}

KYVES: EKUL!! This isn't funny!

EKUL!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?

{Ekul suddenly falls out. The Sysop Saber is gone.}

KYVES: Where were you? What's wrong?

EKUL: I'm okay. I'm going to shred the unoriginality element. I'm not using lightsabers anymore...

{Ekul puts his sabers on the ground. They suddenly glow and turn into new swords}

EKUL: Now I have... HYPERCUTLASSES!!

KYVES: Err... What?

{The classic Strong Bad paper comes down, saying "Email Ekul!}

Fun facts

• (I normally hope you'll catch the fun facts, but..) Notice that Nived and DArlon were marooned on a planet. Well, that's the "Non sequitar" Part acting up. I didn't mention that in there.