User:Ekul/Email/51

Transcript

Ekul: Gnol detiawa... s'ti liame!!

Dear Ekul,
Have you ever slayed the undead for a living?
I heard that it's really, really fun.
--thatkidsam

Ekul: Yes, I have slayn the undead, no, I don't do it alot. However, If you want me to...

(Screen pops up that says "RESIDENT EKUL!_{Even though I've never played Resident Evil before}". Cut to Ekul with a silvery sword and a cross necklass. Kyves is beside him. He is wearing a leather jacket, his goggles on and a cross necklass. C11 is mostly black, and has a cross painted to his back.)

Ekul: Alright, undead... come out...

(A ware wolf come out)

Ekul: Aha! Warewolf!

(Kyves electricutes him. Ekul takes out his sword, then whacks him with it.)

Ekul: Go back to where you came from, or I'll hit you on the head with the sword again.

(The wolf runs away, making dog-like pain noises.)

Kyves: Eeh he he he he. Yeak, yeak geakon aneak NEAKO CEAK SQUEAK!

Ekul: You tell him! Oh look! Zombies!

(Zombies surround them)

Ekul: Ok, Zombies. Show me your leader, and let me battle him, and I'll have my hands handcuffed behind my back to beat him. If I kill him, you all turn back into humans. If he wins, I have an entire country for you to devour!

Zombie: Fair enough!

(Kyves handcuffs him behind is back, and the head zombie comes up.)

Zombie: Any last words?

Ekul: YEAH! Handcuffs don't work on penguins!

(The handcuffs fall off, and Ekul pours acid on him)

Zombie: Oh no! I am dying! What a horrible fate!

(All the Zombies turn into humans and run away.)

Ekul: So that does that. Here comes a ghost!

(A ghost comes up)

Ekul: Everyone! Look away!

(Ekul throws a bomb. They all look the other way. The ghost solidifies and the bomb blows it to smitherines. Skeletons walk up)

Ekul: Skeletons? Meet my NAPALM!

(The napalm blows up. All the skeletons disintegrate.)

Ekul: I love the smell of dead undead in the morning. Oh look! A vampire!

(Sure enough, a vapire comes)

Ekul: Oh! Hand me the wooden steaks!

(C11 hands him some wooden poker chips)

Ekul: Ha ha... Take that!

(Ekul throws a five piece at him)

Vampire: OW!

Ekul: And THAT!

(Ekul throws another five)

Vampire: UH!

Ekul: AND THAT!

(Ekul throws two ten pieces)

Vampire: HELP!

(Vampires surround them)

C11: Beep... BEEP!

(Ekul pulls his sleeves down to reveal two machine guns. Kyves pulls a remote control out, and a glider comes down, two gun ports open. Kyves hops on top of the glider. C11 extends five disc throwers for extra big "stakes")

Ekul: I'M NOT READY TO LIE! I'M NOT READY TO FADE! I'M NOT READY TO DIE!

("Not ready to die" plays. Ekul shoots thousands of "Five hundred" chips at them, The glider drops cluster bombs of chips on them. C11 shots extra big ones that keep on going after they hit. Pretty soon, all of the bad guys are gone.)

Ekul: Ha ha! I see we won the gamble!

(C11 projects "EMAIL EKUL!")