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User:Ekul/Email/61

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Overview

Ul has to save the year 5005 from doom!

Lines: 219

Cast (in order of appearance):Ekul, Ul, YVS, C91, droids, peguin mechanics, suspicious guys, Guards, Darlinite, Constantonire, Unknown guy, Johnson, Car pursuers,

Transcript

Ekul: Ho on! Liame!

Ekul: Don't worry! I am a man of action! A man of courage! A man... of... making others do my stuff for me. And staying home with partners that can now talk.

(Ekul takes a cell phone out of his pocket.)

Ul: (Offscreen) What do you require?

Ekul: In five years, I want you to find a Darlinite. I'm uploading it onto you.... now!

Ul: I see... I will help out in 906 years. See you.

(Cut to Ul hanging up. Long clockswipe. It begins slow, but then it speeds up fast and faster. A counter is at the bottom that measures how many of each time has gone past. The screen then flashes "26,273,000 minutes later...", then cut to Ul, YVS and C91 getting out of the jettison pod)

Ul: Come on, guys. Let's go find that sissy.

YVS: Alright.

(YVS opens a panel on his wing. Then, he presses a few buttons on it. A plane flies in. YVS takes a gigantic jump onto the top, and enters via the cockpit. Ul leaps onto the wing and enters on the side door. C91 simply slides up a ramp. Cut to the cockpit.)

Ul: Start the ship up. 10... 9... 8...

YVS: IGNITION!

(The ship blasts off. It flies into space. After flying awhile, some droids come within range of the ship.)

Ul: Oh no. I hate these things. I'll be the gunner! C91, can you man the deflectors?

C91: drrz krzrt.

(Ul puts his wings on the control sticks. Cut to the outside of the ship. A missile turret turns towards the enemies. It attempts to attack. It blasts one droid out of commision. There are about twenty more)

Ul: These things are hard to hit!

(The droids have a gun port on their back as they rocket towards them via feet rockets. The guns begin shooting at the ship. The delfector moves around, blocking cretain ones, leaving the rest for the regular shields to absorb. C91 hits one with a deflected shot.)

YVS: Don't let to many shots overheat the shield!

Ul: YVS, have you fixed the rear laser?

YVS: Yes!

Ul: Good, I need them now!

(A laser on the back of the ship rolls out. It begins firing at some droids. There are eighteen more. The shields in one area overheat, and that part of the ship has hole in the shields.

Ul: Guard it! Guard it with your life-Err.. Central processor!

C91: yrzzzr krrztz.

(After a while all the droids are gone, but the shields are heavily overheated and the ship is damaged.)

Ul: We need to repair! Land on that planet over there!

YVS: But, when we leave that planet, more droids will come after us!

Ul: Well, I guess you'll have to evade more, I'll have to be aim better, and C91 will need to be quicker.

YVS: Well, let's go into the arcade on the planet then.

(The ship enters the planet's orbit and lands at an area with many penguins on it. A penguin runs over.)

Penguin: Ah, did you land here because you need a mechanic?

YVS: I sure did.

Penguin: Good. Admiral Ul, do you need anything?

Ul: Just a good training program. We are being chased by people sized droids.

Penguin: Over there.

(Cut to a montage. Music plays as it shows C91 at a holographic system, where he tries to deflect all shots at him. It then shows YVS at a Gamecube, playing Star Fox. Then it shows Ul is at an atari, playing space invaders. Then it cuts to the three at a resturaunt, eating. They overhear two humans talkning.)

Man 1: So, where's Darlinite's secret hideout?

Man 2: I can't mention a specific place, but it's at coordinates 39402834710377842y 3987401986512x 3927043295860239765z in sector 38474501723.

YVS: Hmm... Those guys seem really suspicious, don't they?

(It cuts to the ship. The three walk in.)

YVS: Is it ready?

Penguin: I'm afraid not. We'll have to ship it to a moon for a new hyperspace engine.

Ul: We can fly behind it, right?

Penguin: Yeah. It's only to the moon. Unless you have one of those old 30C3 models!

(The three laugh. The trio flies after it as it is towed into space. Suddenly, droids fly into the range of the them)

Ul: Zounds! More of them! Oh well, we can fight them closer, since we are their size!

(Ul draws a laser on one arm and a lightsaber on the other. YVS draws his two swords, and a gun comes out of C91's head)

YVS: Everybody have a shield generator?

(Ul and C91 nod. (Well, Ul nods, C91 shoots a flag out of him that says, "Nod"). Ul forms a shield and starts attacking them, both stabbing, shooting abd ligtsaber deflecting. YVS grows a shield around him, and shoots beams of 'lectricity out of his swords. He stabs the droids as well. C91 "Sharks" them (or circles them, if you prefer) and shoots. The droids don't stand a chance. After they're blown to space dust, (And probably leaving meteor showers on the planet) they land on the moon of the planet below. It turns out, the planet was earth!)

YVS: Look! It's terra, and we're on Luna!

(A penguin walk out. The moon appears to have been Terraformed)

Penguin: You can leave now.

(Ul, YVS and C91 board their ship and blast into hyperspace. Cut to a giant Space Station in the distance. Two giant ships come in range. Suddenly, swarms of droids come out.)

Ul: I'm glad we added two more turrets, and that we have a few more lasers.

YVS: ...And I'm glad that I have newer engines!

C91: Crtz krzzztz.

(Four deflectors comes out, and many lasers and turrets come out. The ship goes into evasive action as the deflectors move to the spots where the enemies hit most, and move around a bit. One turret and all eight lasers in front beat back the droids. The remaining two turrets attempt to destroy the ports the droids come out of in the ship. As the long battle ensues, eventually Ul hits one of the engines on one of the ships, and it crashes into the other one. The ships explode, and the droids are wiped out.)

YVS: C91! Increase forward shields to maximum!

(The shields on the front suddenly glow, as the turrets, lasers and shields withdraw.)

Ul: Stupid droids. Only thinking minds will prevail in the end.

C91: KRRRRTZ!!!

Ul: Er... Except for the small ones that have human type minds and, uh...

(Cut to the outside. A small moon is nearby.)

Ul: Land on the moon. Our ship is a target, but we are harder to find.

YVS: Yeah, You're right. We won't be going into hyperspace anyway.

(Cut to them landing, then getting out. They fly towards the space station, unnoticed. They get to a side of it.)

Ul: I'm pretty sure that this part is unoccupied.

(Ul turns on one of his lightsabers and cuts a smal hole in it, then quickly covering it with a piece of clear metal. He looks through.)

Ul: It's a storage closet with janitor outfits and extra janitor droid plating. Aw man, I really hoped we'd get into a place nobody ever looked...

YVS: WAIT! I think C11 has a plan!

C11: drrz krrz...

(Fade to black, then cut to them in janitor outfits.)

Ul: Man! This is the best disguise ever! No one would ever think up of an idea like that!

(They walk to a heavily guarded door. A guard talks to them)

Guard: Sorry, but disguised hero as janitor hours are up.

YVS: Are there any ventilation ducts that are big enough for some reason?

Guard: Around the corner there's a ceiling tile that you can remove, which you can crawl through so that you can spy on them.

Ul: Thanks!

(The guard winks, and they follows his instructions and crawls into the loose ceiling tile. They crawl over until they hear muffled voices, and then Ul lifts a tile.)

Unknown 1: (offscreen) ...So since my disable laser is ready to disable everything in it's path, we can take care of Earth, Home Planet and many other sentient forms.

Unknown 2: (offscreen) Good, Darlinite. You have done well. I will do my part. I will drop the zombie bombs on them, and we will control all! Except...

Unknown 3: (offscreen) ...Lukania. That will be the hard part, (he seems to be stifling laughter) Constantonire, because it is not currently in the beam's range.

Darlinite: (offscreen) WHAT? When I checked it WAS in range.

Constantonire: (offscreen) Not anymore. it was on the rim and we wanted to make sure it hit the whole planet. So we sent ships to allign it different. We'd hoped that it would look like regular cargo ships like the others, but they used their planetary manuvers to flew away

Unknown 3: (offscreen) I can take care of his army, though. Don't fire the beam until my signal.

Darlinite: (offscreen) Perfect. The laser is imbedded in the very ship itself, so nothing can stop us without sneaking into the core and bombing it!

Constantonire: (offscreen) What will we do if that happens?

Darlinite: (offscreen) Clear all the guards of the area, exept one or two diguised as construction workers. Nobody would think that with no protection that it would be the core.

Unknown 3: (offscreen) And if anyone tries to find out,

(Footsteps are heard. Typing is heard)

Unknown: (offscreen) Change the name of the door to "rennovation 5408"

Constantonire: (offscreen) And lable a laundry chute "Main core." Send some people to the bottom.

(YVS crawls over and cuts a few wires.)

Constantonire: (offscreen) I think our communication feeds went down.

Darlinite: (offscreen) Just tell the guards outside.

(Footsteps are heard.)

YVS: Come on, guys! Let's follow!

(Ul replaces the tile, and the three crawl back a little)

Constantonire: (offscreen) We need you to change the Core Door sign.

Guard: (offscreen) I forget. How do we get there?

Constantonire: (offscreen) Sheesh! How many times do I have to tell you? Like the map says. Forward forward right left forward right forward forward left left go down the elevator to 8a, then straight on till you hit the core door.

C91: Rrrztz.

Ul: Good. We may need to hear it again.

Guard 2: (offscreen) That's the only place that has vents, right?

Constantonire: (offscreen) Yes. Otherwise the place could build up in fumes, then explode.

Guard: (offscreen) We got it.

(They hear footsteps. C91 is in the lead. A few other times, footsteps intercepted them, but C91 seemed to know where to go. Finally, there's a dead end.)

Ul: Nobody move.

(Ul draws his lightsaber and cuts it off. He watches the elevator go down.)

YVS: Everybody ready?

Ul: I am.

C91: Rtz.

(YVS dives down the shaft, his partners holding onto either leg. The elevator keeps going down. Then, they can see a vent.)

YVS: NOW, C91!

(YVS spreads his wings, as C91 shoots at a point somewhere above the vent. That makes them swing like Tarzan into the vent. then they start crawling until the reach a gigantic vent. Ul dives down first, then C91, then YVS. YVS hits his head on the vent on the way down.)

Guard 1: (offscreen) Hey! Did you hear that sound? The vent!

Guard 2: (offscreen) EVERYONE, INTO THE VENT! JOHNSON GET A LADDER

Johnson: (offscreen) I don't know where a ladder is!

Guard 1: (offscreen) I think there's one in the core room.

Guard 2: (offscreen) No, there's one over there...

(The bickering becomes muffled as Ul, C91 and YVS begin setting up the bomb. Ul puts a tank of liquid heilium on the ground, YVS puts a tank of hydrogen on the ground and C91 puts a bomb on top, setting for it to blow in thirty minutes.)

Johnson: (offscreen) There! I got it! Into the vent!

(YVS, Ul and C91 walk out of the door. There are guardsHclimbing up the ladder and into the vent. YVS puts the tip of one of his electrified swords on it. He turns it on. They become shocked and fried. Ul runs to the elevator and presses the down button. The door opens, and the three rush in.)

Ul: Nothing suspicious about us now! Just a couple of janitors.

(Ul hits the "Dock" button. On the way down a guard gets in.)

YVS: How to we make it to the dock from the dock level?

Guard: Here's a map.

(The guard hands them a map. The three commit it to memory. The door opens at the dock level.)

Ul: Thanks. We'll be going now! Look it's a straightaway now! Nothing to worry...

(The door closes on his janitor's shirt when he starts to walk away ti is ripped off. A guard's eys widen and he hits a button. Several droids floodb the hall.)

YVS:You were saying?

(Ul shoots out a laser and a lightsaber. YVS shoots out his electrric swords, and C91 pops a gun out of him. All the droids begin firing. Ul, C91 and YVS shoot, slice and delfect their way through. A vrooming is heard)

C91: KRTZ!

Ul: There are miniture cars? Get ready then...

(A car rushes by Ul. He jumps on and throws the driver out. He uses the gun to blast many droids out. Nine more cars screech to a halt to stop from hitting him. One turns and crashes into a wall. C91 and YVS jump into two of them and toss the old occupants out. All three begin sppeing down, blasting droids away. The six remaining chasers continue to chase them. They fly down the halls, blasting droids. The droid remains screw the wheels up, however, so they try to avoid piles of droids. One is blown up by Ul's lasers. They continue going on for a while. YVS' car is heaing for a heap of droids, so he jumps out, and jumps and flies into another car and throws the occupant out. Then, after the chase ensues a little, one of the cars hits a pile, and explodes.)

Ul: We compare to their number now! I'll branch off. Kyves, you come with me. Two of them will follow us while you continue with the regular route. That way, you can hack into ship and we can get away faster!

C91: Trzzt.

YVS: Can you hold them off? I'll navigate through the long way.

Ul: Fine.

(YVS gets in front of Ul, and they continue going forward as two follow them. C91 veers to the right ond one follows him. Ul dodges the stream of lasers coming at him. He gets pretty dinged up, though. Ul cuts the the fuel line in his car, and one of the bad guys slips up and hits a wall. Ul jumps out of his fuel-less coasting car and into YVS'. He mans the gun on it. Cut to C91. He makes it into the dock. He jerks his car to the side and rockets out, the bad guy running into the back of his. C91 goes up to a ship and starts hacking into it. Cut back to the other car chase. They fly into a hangar. Ul aims his lasers, and the guns on the car at the glass wall. finnally, they puncture it, and the bad guy's car flies out, then they get out of that hangar and hit the close door button wiith their gun. They make it over to C91, and get inside. They launch out.)

YVS: We did it!

Ul: We're not out of the woods yet!

(The ship is bombarded with other ships. Their ship gets pretty badly destroyed.)

YVS: C91! Get out of here and get to our ship! Ready it for takeoff.

(C91 flies out of the ship.)

YVS: I have a plan.

(Cut to YVS putting something into a missile turret. He then climbs in. Ul puts something shiny on the ground. Then he gets inside, but before he closes the door...)

Ul: There is no spoon.

(He shoots the shiny thing and closes the door. The shinything rflects his shot and hit is shot down the hall and into the cockpit where it reflects a few times, then hits a missle launch button. The thing YVS and Ul got into shoots towards the moon, just as their ship explodes. When they enter the atmosphere of the moon, then get close to the ship, they dive out. They land on the ship and it flies into hyperspace, and we wait about thirty seconds, then it explodes.)

(Cut back to the inside.)

YVS: WE DID IT!

Ul: We saved the universe!

(C91: "Email Ul Ekul")

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "Ul" to see a set-up for a plotline (maybe):

Easter Egg transcript

{Cut to Darlinite wrecked up. She somehow managed to escape, but barely.}

DARLINIE: {Turns on communiator, Darlon (and older-looking one) pops up.} They fell for it.

DARLON: Perfect. Destroy that pesky penguin, and his little robot too! And also his duck! And anyone that stands in your way. {Things pop up has he says them.} You willl be armed with and impenatrible sheild, a mega-blaster, a jetpack for quick escape, and a time machine.

Fun facts

  • This might be the most action-packed E-mail ever.
  • The action sequence is a reference to Star Wars.


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