User:Ekul/Email/71

Overview

Superhero!

Lines: 136

Cast (in order of appearance): Ekul, C11, Kyves, Coach Z, Bubs, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Darlon, Homestar, Marzipan, Pom Pom, Homsar, King of Town, Poopsmith, Strong Mad, Strong Sad

Transcript

{Cut to the control room, where everything is badly damaged and scaffold is all around. Ekul is working on C11. Coach Z and Kyves have face shields on, and is working on the Trash Can.}

EKUL: Kyves, how long until the computer systems on these ruins are online?

KYVES: A few seconds to a year.

EKUL: Dang it! Can't you narrow that time frame?

{Kyves knocks a box onto the floor and it breaks open.}

KYVES: Okay, since that happened, I can narrow the time frame.

EKUL: Oh, great. Coach, How's the time mechanism working?

COACH Z: Well, the fact that I norw have tor live here helps and will be dorne in a few weeks or so.

EKUL: Thanks Coach. And C11's AI systems are online, but that's about the only thing on him that works. I'm going to take a break and use Strong Bad's Lappy again.

{Ekul leaves the Trash Can. The Trash Can's exterior appearance is unchanged, but it's sitting in a crater. Ekul passes Bubs.}

BUBS: For all those supplies, you owe me fifty thousand dollars.

EKUL: Oh, don't worry about that. Let's just say that Strong Bad has way more money than he'll ever care to have. He won't notice it's gone.

BUBS: Oh. {Whispering} Gotcha!

{Ekul walks past him. He walks into Strong Bad's Computer Room. He is typing}

STRONG BAD: So, Chwoka, I wish I could shapeshift like you, but as you just saw-

EKUL: Strong Bad!

STRONG BAD: Augh. It's you again.

EKUL: C11, my robot computer, got caught in a explosion. Can I borrow yours?

STRONG BAD: No. I don't want mine to suffer the same fate.

EKUL: But it's only one email!

STRONG BAD: That's what those wiki users always say! Do you no how much money I spent on replacement computers?

{Strong Bad closes the Lappy and runs away. A thump is heard}

STRONG BAD: {Offscreen} AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!!

EKUL: Well that plan flew out the window, just like Strong Bad did. Maybe The Cheat'll be nicer.

{Ekul runs offscreen. The Cheat is making a toon}

EKUL: I'll give you a two thumbs up reveiw if you let me use your computer!

THE CHEAT: MEH!

{The toon turns on. Everything from here is PTBC. Bolded syllables are incorrectly emphasized. Itallic syllables are underemphasised.}

{The ground is green, and Strong Bad comes out. The Cheat comes in, two}

STRONG BAD: Hey The Cheat. How are you doing?

THE CHEAT: {Angrilly} Meh neme teh!

STRONG BAD: Oh no. You are right. I have been evil. Homestar better beat me up.

{Homestar walks in.}

HOMESTAR: Oh The Cheat. B-man needs beating up.

{Homestar kicks Strong Bad into space. Cut to outer space}

STRONG BAD: I deserve this.

{Nebulon flies past. He holds up a sign that says "Get out of here, Strong Bad, nobody likes your style.}

{Things are back to normal}

EKUL: Let me guess... Strong Bad kicked you again?

THE CHEAT: Meh. nemma keh.

EKUL: Four star. Can I borrow your computer?

THE CHEAT: Meh.

{The Cheat gets up and leaves. Ekul sits down.}

EKUL: A derdnuh daernu sliame no eht llaw, a derdnuh daernu sliame

hello ekul,

don't you think it would be funny if you glued
strong sad's hands to his face? I think it would be...

alex

medford, nj

EKUL: CAPITALISE! GRRRR! This one has "Bad luck" written all over it. And besides, Strong Sad has enough gluing already without my help. So bother someone else.

MANIAC'D!

EKUL:Ahh... just emptying out the bad ones. Next one.

Dear Ekul:

Why is it that your superhero name does not end
in "man" just like Superman, Spiderman. etc, etc...

Your friend

Stiny

EKUL: Now this email is worth answering. It has punctuation... capitalization... spelling. {Starts typing}Well, Stiny, I haven't even become a vigilante, yet. But I should make one, like... Ekulman! Nah, that's too obvious. As is Marauderman and Maniacman. Errr... Tempman? Nah, as you can see, that could mean I was only a replacement. Karhkdman? That has too many consolents. The- Human- Torching- Iceberg..man? Too long. Err... What about... Fireiceman? Nah... I need a consultent or something. The Cheat? What should be my superhero name?

THE CHEAT: Nem keh nek.

EKUL: Bi polar? I'm not bipolar!!

THE CHEAT: keh meh sed steh.

EKUL: Oh. I mistranslated. PolarFlame? Awesome name! No "man" in it though. Who cares?

THE CHEAT: Stehneh.

EKUL: But ONLY Stiny. Now I need to have someone I care about kidnapped or something.

{A brick goes through the window with the sycamore. Ekul runs over and picks it up. A note is attached to it. Ekul picks it up}

EKUL: {Reading aloud} If you ever wish to see Coach Z again, give me all of Bubs' money in my secret lair at the wharf.

THE CHEAT: MEH!

EKUL: Well, I guess there's only one thing to do. Get out a horrible-looking makeshift costume, and save Coach Z.

{Cut to Ekul with a ridiculous looking costume. He has a red version of his robe and has a blue Speedo-type hat. He has a black mask. He also has a crimson cape}

POLARFLAME: I need a better costume. This thing is awful! The Cheat, promise me you'll have a better one later.

THE CHEAT: Meh.

{PolarFlame leaves. Cut to the wharf. Darlon is there}

DARLON: Who is this this weirdo?

POLARFLAME: I know this costume is horrible, but I have to save the world.

DARLON: The world? I just wanted Bubs' money.

POLARFLAME: Oh. Sorry. I'm here to save Coach Z. Ready to duke it out?

DARLON: Duke it out with my minion. KYVES?

POLARFLAME: NO! Kyves is good!

KYVES: That's what I'd like my friend Ekul to think!

{PolarFlame freezes Kyves' hands.}

KYVES: Dang. How'd you know I have swords under there? Oh well. I always have my plane!

{A plane swoops out from the sky. It shoots a machine gun at him. Kyves jumps into it}

POLARFLAME: I guess I'll have to fight fire with fire, so that when you play with it you'll get burned.

DARLON: Are you primarily Japanese?

POLARFLAME: No.

DARLON: Then are you primarily chinese and secondarily Japanese and Free Country USAan?

POLARFLAME: No.

DARLON: Then-

POLARFLAME: Shut up, Darlon. I have a plane to fight.

{PolarFlame heats the winsheild of the plane, so that it gets fogged.}

DARLON: You've won this time. Have Coach Z.

{They leave. Coach Z runs past PolarFlame}

POLARFLAME: Dang. They got away. I'd better get back to the Flaming Ice cavern.

{PolarFlame flies away. He lands next to a cavern, and walks in. Reynold and the Cheat are in there.}

REYNOLD: I finished your costume.

{A costume is pinned onto the wall. It is all green, and has PF in fancy letters on the chest. The cape has a blue triangle on it. An ice-blue helmet with a flame coming out on the top sits on the costume.}

POLARFLAME: Now THAT'S a costume.

{Cut to Ekul at Bubs'}

EKUL: HEre's the money, right there. And intrest, too since I took so long.

{Ekul hands Bubs the money. Strong Bad in a mask comes up and aims a gun at Bubs}

MASKED STRONG BAD: All your money. Now.

{Ekul slips away, then PolarFlame enters. He freezes Strong Bad, except his head}

MASKED STRONG BAD: Shoot. Heroes are getting better all the time.

{Pom Pom comes up and takes him away. HOmestar comes up.}

HOMESTAR: The Police don't like you anymore. You're under arrest.

POLARFLAME: Surely you can't be serious.

HOMESTAR: Nah, just kidding.

{PolarFlame and Homestar start laughing hystarically.}

BUBS: ...What???

{PolarFlame leaves. As Ekul, returns to the the Trash Can to see C11 stolen.}

POLARFLAME:C11! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! KYVES! HERE I COME!!!

{PolarFlame tries to fly, but he hits the ceiling.}

POLARFLAME: Oops. I forgot.

{PolarFlame climbs out. Polar Flame flies to the wharf to see Darlon at the top of a tower. He is holding onto C11, ready to drop him off one side, and is holding the car with the entire Homestar cast in it.}

DARLON: This is why one only idiots are heroes. Because some lunatic will come along with a sadistic choice. Let destroy your robot friend, or suffer the cast of Homestar runner. Now CHOOSE!

{Darlon drops both. Dramatic music plays. Then zoom out to see that both the car, and C11 are sitting on ice platforms.}

DARLON: Dang.

POLARFLAME: You see, this is why only losers are bad guys. Because they neglect the hero's intelligence.

{Kyves steps out, and starts fist fighting with PolarFlame.}

POLARFLAME: Don't do this!

KYVES: Why not?

POLARFLAME: You used to be my best friend!

KYVES: You're Ekul? Whoa. So?

POLARFLAME: There's no reason for you to just switch to the bad side.

KYVES: Good point. And I realize that if I have a last minute revelation, I'll probably die.

{Kyves and PolarFlame walk over to the tower. PolarFlame burns the bottom.}

DARLON: I gotta get out of here. Next time, PolarFlame. Next TIIIIIIME!

{Darlon flies away. Ekul extiguishes the fire by freezing it. The Homestar Runner cast carry C11, and climb down.}

KYVES: Now I wish I could be a hero...

POLARFLAME: Where ever evil-doers are, they will freeze at my command and get burned by playing with fire!

{C11 projecter puts up "Email Ekul"}

Fun facts

• Chwoka is a member of the Wiki who can Sjhapeshift, and has all psychic powers.
• Darlon is his Evil twin. "Evil" used to mean playing pranks, but now he's constantly trying to rule the universe.