User:Ekul/Email/79

Overview

Warning! Chemistry ahead!

Lines: 237

Cast (in order of appearance): Ekul, Kyves, Tandy, C11, Coach Z, Homeschool, Loyalshot, Marty, Marv Magneseum, Zac Zinc, Lenny lithium, Holmscant Wirer, ThatPieceSamarium, Shim Sham Samarium, Super Samarium, Aliens

Transcript

{Ekul is sitting at the control center}

EKUL: Hey Kyves, what did we plug in last email? We made a big deal about it.

KYVES: Er... I think... Oh yeah. It was the time traveling mechanism. Yeah...

EKUL: Oh! Cool! I didn't even know that...

KYVES: Oh. Sorry. I never did tell you.

EKUL: I'm going to go check my email.

{Ekul walks into his room. Kyves follows him in.}

KYVES: I'd like to sit next to you this email.

EKUL: Sure. Let's do it, then. WAKE UP!

Tandy 99000. Copyright The Chapman Bros and the tandy corp Ekul

KYVE: Hey Andy. I've never really met you before

Hey Kyves. I think you're right and- Wait, did you call me Andy?

KYVES: Yes, sir, I did.

I'm the Tandy, not Andy!

EKUL: Let's cut the small talk. Go to the email

der eklu
servin tyme in prizin iz gud four yer reputashun
-mandude

EKUL: Err... Tandy? Could you trans-

KYVES: I can!

{Kyves pushes Ekul away and types}

Absolute_value_of_email.exe

EKUL: What is this going to-

KYVES: Just watch!

two possible outcomes!

Darn it, eckles!
Being a server ties to you in prison. It's not good, and it's repetition
-Dudeman

Or

dear Ekul
It's Silicon Time here. You can get prizes, and it's good for your reputation
-That dude,
The Man.

EKUL: I'll answer the second one. The first option would mean it's not for me.

KYVES: So where do you think we go?

EKUL: I do believe it is Silicon Time in The Metal Metropolis

KYVES: Ah. I'd ask you what it is, but I already know.

EKUL: Know what?

KYVES: What?

EKUL: You just said "I'd ask you what that is but I know" or something like that.

KYVES: Oh. Why did I ask you that?

EKUL: I don't know. that's why I was asking you.

KYVES: What?

EKUL: My head hurts...

KYVES: Why?

EKUL: You're confusing me!

KYVES: How am I confusing you?

EKUL: Er... You just... are! You're making no sense.

KYVES:In what way am I making no sense?

EKUL: Stop that!

KYVES: Stop what?

EKUL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

KYVES: Why did you say that?

EKUL: Never... speak... to... me... again...

KYVES: Why?

EKUL: Gack... ergph... arg...

KYVES: Why-

EKUL: DON'T SAY "WHY" AND DON'T ASK WHY!

KYVES: Why?

EKUL: GOOD BYE!! YOU LOSE ALL YOUR PRIVELEGES!

KYVES: Why?

EKUL: YOU... ARE... ANNOYING... ME!

KYVES: In what way?

{Ekul reaches for his lightsaber, but gets nothing}

EKUL: Confound it. I left my lightsaber in the Control Room

{Ekul tries to bring out his twin machine guns, but nothing comes out}

EKUL: Aww... DANG it! I left a paper towel jammed up there somehow again! I'll have to do it by wing...

{Ekul jumps onto Kyves.}

KYVES: AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHH! WHY!!?!??!

EKUL: GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

{Suddenly C11 rolls in. He looks from one to the other.}

C11: Borp?

{Ekul jumps off of Kyves, making him fall down}

KYVES: Augh-

{Ekul walks up to C11}

EKUL: He asked too many questions. I think he must be ill.

C11: Dockolockock!

EKUL: Nah, he'll be better by the time we go on the mission.

C11: {In a muttering pitch} Dork mok hiawo hiera...

EKUL: Now, where do we go again?

KYVES: {groaning} Metal.... Metropolis...

EKUL: Ah, yes. Come along my good friends.

KYVES: Why- I mean Okay...

{The trio walk over to the Control Cylender. Coach Z and Loyalshot talking as are Marty and Homeschool. Zoom in on Coach Z and Loyalshot}

COACH Z: Yeah... So then they start using steriods during time out! And the leader person didn't notice! And then-

{Zoom in on Marty and Homeschool}

MARTY: My dad died when I was only six... But he dies in battle. I saved Barty and Sparty when I picked up his gun and shot the invaders, and mom managed to pilot the hovertank back. She didn't cry, but knew that I saved my brothers and- Hey Ekul!

{Zoom out. Ekul goes to Central Control Cylender}

EKUL: Yo. Set a course... to METAL METROPOLIS!!!!!

COACH Z: OOOOOORH YEAH!

{Everybody looks weirdly at Coach Z}

COACH Z: What?

{Ekul walks over to the cylender. HE sighs.}

EKUL: I always forget that I am the person who has to pilot this hunk of cool parts.

{Ekul types something in. Cut to a city. The city all seems to be made out of various metals. No wood is visible}

LOYALSHOT: Whoa! What exactly IS silicon time?

EKUL: Silicon Time is the time of the season where they honor the Metalloids, like silicon.

KYVES: And those are semiconductor, and aren't as malliable, ductile... things like that...

HOMESCHOOL: I do believe this is another planet, because when those aliens abducted me, they crash landed on this planet, and I was shipped back home

EKUL: Wait... YOU WERE THE ONE!

HOMESCHOOL: Yes. I figured you would like to hear that.

EKUL: You must have been the one to show the Metalites the way to earth, where they were able to find out about larger nonmetals! Let me explain; the only nonmetals on this planet prior to Homeschool returning to Homeschool returning to earth were Hydrogen, Carbon and Oxygen. You also saved their planet from the abduction of your captors

HOMESCHOOL: They have given me a name for myself and a whole lot of chemistry knowledge...

COACH Z: Ah HAH!

EKUL: what?

COACH Z: My dad told me he found this medallion in a crater on earth, and it says "My ornership is to Z. Made in the Metal Metrorpolis" He named me after it!

EKUL: Z? That guy went on a mission to explore the milkyway when their ship failed and crashed! Before Homeschool!

{A Metalite comes up. He speaks in a metallic robotish voice}

METALITE: Clack. Who are you?

EKUL: I'm Ekul.

KYVES: I'm Kyves.

LOYALSHOT: I'm Loyalshot Wanderer. Some-

HOMESCHOOL:' I'm Homeschool Winner.

COACH Z: And I'm Coach Z!

METALITE: Click... it is nice to know you.

EKUL: We are here for Silicon Day.

METALITE: I see. Well, go over there.

{The metalite points towards a big city-hall looking skyscraper/capital}

KYVES: Thanks. By the way, what's your name and what's your element?

METALITE: I am Marv Magnesium the Magnificent. I am the most famous magnesium in the city

EKUL: Whoa, Marv? Excellent! I've always wanted to meet you! I read your book on-

LOYALSHOT: We need to-

KYVES: Fine, fine. Whatever. Could I have your autograph real quick?

MARV: Sure! I would be very happy to oblige!

{Marv signs a photograph of himself and hands it to Kyves. Kyves gets out something and puts the paper in it. He takes it back out, and it's laminated.}

EKUL: I hope I meet you again!

MARV: Okay. See you later, hopefully.

{The seven of them head off for the Town Square}

EKUL: Wow... Marv Magnesium the Magnificant!

MARTY: Who-

EKUL: You wouldn't know. Metal Metropolis and it's planet were destroyed without Homeschool's abduction.

HOMESCHOOL: Exactly. I overheard their plans to take over the planet and hacked the spaceship into the Mercury Sea. I nearly went crazy trying to sail back to shore in unsound escape pod.

{They walk into the building, then walk up to the counter. A pale metalite is the receptionist.}

RECEPTIONIST METALITE: Hello. I'm Zac Zinc.

KYVES: Err... I'd like to know where to know about the way Silicon day is going to be.

ZAC: Ah. Well you should see my boss, Ceaser caesium

KYVES: Alright... Well then, direct me to his office.

ZAC: Upstairs, the office that says Rueben Rubidium.

LOYALSHOT: Thank you for being descriptive.

ZAC: You're welcome

LOYALSHOT: Hey wai-

{The other six walk away. Loyalshot looks from Zac, to his leaving group. He shrugs and runs after his group. Cut to Reubens office. A very small secretary is sitting at the Secretary desk. His voice is very squeaky, but still metalicy}

SECRETARY: Clack! Hello. I'm Lenny Lithium. Ceaser caeseum is gone right now. He went out to lunch. I might be able to help you.

EKUL: Well-

COACH Z: {Interupting} Let me explorn. We want to know the events of Silicon day.

LENNY: Oh! Well, there are very interesting things around town. All day shops and public places will be doing interesting things. This is a very important holiday.

COACH Z: Like Decemberween?

EKUL: Almost.

LENNY: Just explore! I'm sure you can find some locals.

KYVES: Thanks!

{The seven of them leave. Upon leaving the building, Loyalshot accedently walks into a metalite, and they subsequently crash into Homeschool}

HOMESCHOOL:Oomph!
LOYALSHOT:Oomph!
METALITE:Clatter!

{They all slowly get up. The metalite looks like homeschool, too.}

METALITE HOMESCHOOL: Whoa! You guys look like me!

HOMESCHOOL: Wow! Are you another form of me?

METALITE: My name is Holmiumscantium Wirer.

HOMESCHOOL: Long name!

METALITE: Yeah. I'm a compound. Call me Holmscant Wirer.

HOMESCHOOL: I'm Homeschool and this is Loyalshot.

HOLMSCANT: You are the chosen one?! WOW!!! You resemble me!

HOMESCHOOL: Do you know of anypeople named anything like Homestar Runner?

HOLMSCANT: My bro? Holmiumsilver Rubidium. I mean Holmsilver Rubidium.

EKUL: Ah. A triple compound.

HOLMSCANT: And, of course theres the brothers Strontium... But I got to get going

{Holmscant hurries off. The seven continue on They walk into a shop. It is decorated, and three people arguing}

METALITE 1: Come on, guys! It's a ductile metal! I mean-

METALITE 2: What do you mean? It's more malliable than-

METALITE 3:Wait... look! Visiters

METALITE 1: Well, I am-

{Suddenly, the shop is hit by a blast}

METALITE 2: Go! They're after you! They must think you're the people who defeated them last-

HOMESCHOOL: I am. They recognize my DNA-

{Suddenly, an evil alien crashes in}

ALIEN: There he is... the invasion crasher...

{He starts to mumble with a few words still legible}

ALIEN: stops the... ...jump... wrestles controls... ...fasten seatbelt... ...lifepod... ...stole all our toilet paper...

{As the alien rambles on, the third metalite grabs a jar out of his pocket and hurls it at the alien}

ALIEN: ...fishing net... limbo- AAAAARRRRRRGGHHH!!!

{The alien explodes instantly in the ensuing explosion}

METALITE 3: I can hold 'em. Go on!

{The seven lead characters and the other two go on. An alien catches up with them}

ALIEN: HAH! I caught up with you guys! You will pay! {Extremely high voice} Mee hee hee hee! {Helicopter sounds, and his voice changes to Arnold Schwartzenegger} All your base are belong to us. You will die in seven days! {Extremely high voice} HIYA!! I like TOTALLY like shopping! {Helicopter sounds, long pause, Arnold S. voice} You will DIE!!

METALITE 2: He's using your memories against you!

ALIEN:{Extremely high voice} Mee hee hee hee! {Helicopter sounds, and his voice changes to Arnold Schwartzenegger} All your base are belong to us. You will die in seven days! {Extremely high voice} HIYA!! I like TOTALLY like shopping! {Helicopter sounds, long pause, Arnold S. voice} You will DIE!!

EKUL: Augh! Make it stop!

METALITE 1: Sure thing.

{Metalite 1's eyes flash crimson, then he runs into the guy, and shapeshifts his hands into daggers, shredding the guy.}

METALITE 2: There should be a helicopter right...

{A helicopter rises from the ground}

METALITE 2: Here! I hope you guys can-

KYVES: I can fly this thing.

METALITE 1: Then I'll gun.

{Kyves gets at the head, Metalite 1 in the back. Some flying sausers follow. Metalite one shoots down any that get too close}

METALITE 1: Fools! They can't beat the power of the Metalites weapons!

{Suddenly the plane is hit and Ekul, Coach Z and Marty tumble out. Metalite 2 dives down after them and catches Marty in his left arm, Coach Z in his right, and Ekul grabs onto his head. Loyalshot helps him hoist them back in.}

KYVES: This thing is going to blow if we get hit again!

METALITE 1: Our other friend is near! Get ready!

{Astrange thing is shot up into the air}

METALITE 2: That thing must be filled with plutonium- DIVE!

{Everybody dives out of the plane. Metalite three is in a hot air baloon looking thing. Everybody lands in it. They start piloting down. above explodes.}

KYVES: Whoo! That was exiting. Now we're safe and sound inside of a helium-

METALITE: Nah. Not fast enough. I used hydrogen-

EKUL: DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CHEMISTRY!?!? JUMP AGAIN!

{Everyone jumps out just as a flaming piece of their old plane ignites the baloon part and it explodes too. They land on the ground, dazed, but okay.}

METALITE 3: Sorry. I don't know much about nonmetals.

HOMESCHOOL: Hydrogen is so explosive... Helium is safe.

METALITE 3: I'll keep that in mind.

METALITE 1: I'm ThatPieceSamarium

METALITE 2: I'm Shim-Sham-Samarium

METALITE 3: I'm Super Samarium

HOMESCHOOL: Wait! Aren't you guys TOXIC?

SUPER SAMARIUM: Nah. Our element is, but we have a little layer of safer elements that protect others from toxidity.

HOMESCHOOL: Ah.

THATPIECESAMARIUM: Well, I'd better introduce you to certain people.

EKUL: Well, I would like you guys to help us find...

{Ekul takes out a piece of paper}

EKUL: Any of these guys.

{Zoom in on it. It says "Major wiki users"}

COACH Z: And these!

{Zoom in on his. It says "Residents of Free Country USA}

SHIM SHAM SAMARIUM: That sounds reasonable {Pronounced Re-ZON-able} And if needed be, we'll ask people by those names to help us identify other people we can't find.

SUPER SAMARIUM: Let's see... The first one... Chwoka? You must mean Cobaltwoka! Let me intorduce you...

{The classic Strong Bad paper comes down, saying "Email Ekul!}