User:Ekul/Email/85

Overview

Polarflame: TO THE RESCUE!

Transcript

{Ekul walks up to the Tandy (Which is fused into the Trash Can)}

EKUL: So now I'm back to emails on the Trash Can, but it's fused with the Tandy now... Hey, what do I call you, Tandy or Trash Can?

TRASH CAN: Well, I guess it depends. The Tandy part of me is now in charge of all the data, so it should should be called the Trandy, but the time function is the Trash Can.

EKUL: Before I check my email, I want to know something. Trandy, Scan-dy the Trash Can...dy. Anything missing?

TRANDY: Scan-dying... Four items missing.

EKUL: What are they?

TRANDY: Nothing too bad. Some of Loyalshot's things, rather, his bed and his closet's doorknob, Coach Z's trash and one more thing.

EKUL: What's that?

TRANDY: OH SNAP!

EKUL: Eh?

TRANDY: Hah hah hah... I got you GOOD!

EKUL: Er... I don't get it.

TRANDY: Oh, you're no fun. Kyves made that one up.

{Kyves walks in}

KYVES: Ah, Ekul. Sleep well? Two things happened last night. I beat at Coach Z at cards and you know what else happened?

EKUL: Um, no?

KYVES: OH SNAP!

{Kyves and Trandy both start laughing hysterically. Ekul just gets confused}

EKUL: I'm officially worried now. Trandy, just start the email.

Dear Mr. Ekul,
We are sorry to inform you that next week, a meteor will crash into the Earth. This is of course means the end of our world, so may I recommend that you repent all past sins, and cheerfully await your inevitable doom.
With fondest wishes,
The doom prediction Dept. of Great Britain

EKUL: Well that sucks. Oh well. I've seen the future. The earth is still there, good as ever. No meteor has smashed it. But maybe PolarFlame's popularity would raise if he had some sort of heroic event occured... Hmm.... Okay, I'll pretend like it's a threat. OH, IF ONLY POLARFLAME WAS AROUND! To the Polarcave...

{Ekul runs out of the Trash Can. Nothing happens for a bit, then Kyves walks in}

KYVES: What a perfect chance to unleash MY new hero!

{An episode screen pops up that says the following}

METEOR MYSTERIES! Starring PolarFlame GravityGrinder

and the all new PolarMag

{PolarFlame runs out into the field, holding binoculars}

POLARFLAME: With my new POLARNOCULARS^TM I can detect objects from far away!

{Cut to a shot from the Polarnoculars. It zooms in, and we see a meteor in space heading directly for the earth. Zoom out again}

POLARFLAME: ZOUNDS! The Meteor is falling impossibly fast! How shall I do this? Maybe I should get on top of a plane with my powers of flight!

{Using heat, PolarFlame bursts from the ground into the sky and lands on a commercial plane. He looks through the Polarnoculars again, but it's still far away.}

POLARFLAME: Hmm... I can't get into a spaceship without attention... I can't stop it from here... Why is it so attracted to earth?

VOICE: I can tell you why...

{PolarFlame turns. GravityGrinder is there}

POLARFLAME: WAH! How did you know I was up here!?!

GRAVITYGRINDER: Yes... it is attracted by me... bcause of my powers of gravity. Give up and join me, and I will repel the meteor and I can rule the world!

POLARFLAME: No way! We already fought last email, Grav!

GRAVITYGRINDER: Give me your answer by tomarrow at Bub's concessions. Goodbye...

{GravityGrinder jumps off, laughing, then there's a thud. Pan out to show that the plane is in the runway.}

GRAVITY GRINDER: Dang! Why didn't I notice it landing?

{Cut to Polarflame in the field.}

POLARFLAME: What do I do?

{Coach Z walks up}

COACH Z: {Gasps} It's that superhero!

POLARFLAME: I have to defeat this GravGrinder guy by tomarrow singlehanded. He must know I do not plan on helping, so who knows what traps he has set?

COACH Z: Well, f only you had a partner...

VOICE: Maybe I can help!

{Turn around to see a guy in a red helmet, red coat, blue pants, blue goggles.}

VOICE: I have long watched you save the day! I am going to be your partner, the magnetic POLARMAG!

POLARFLAME: Like all overconfident, arrogent, bigheaded, underestimative heroes, I work alone...

POLARMAG: I also know your secret identity, E-

POLARFLAME: Never mind. LET'S GO, MY NEW PARTNER!

{Cut to an action shot of PolarFlame and PolarMag. They walk to the concessions stand}

POLARMAG: So THAT'S what's happening.

POLARFLAME: Yep. So he's probably setting a trap.

POLARMAG: So it's time to trigger it. Like Chrono Trigger. And Chrono Cross, but if he crosses us again, he'll be in a cell. And then more paraphelia will sell! So Traps = money.

POLARFLAME: That was the most boneheaded mix of mathmatics and phrases. Therefore it works!

POLARMAG: Yeah, and- there he is! GravGrinder!

{Pan sideways to see GravityGrinder is peering into a hole}

GRAVITYGRINDER: What the- HEY! You guys aren't supposed to come early! I'm not done setting up the contingency plan yet.

POLARFLAME: Oh, sorry. Let's go.

{Clockswipe. Back to Bubs' Concession stand}

GRAVITYGRINDER: NOW! ARE YOU AND HIM IN, OR OUT?!? Shall you join me to glory and-

{Instead of answering, Polarflame hurls a fireball at him. GravityGrinder yelps as he barely dodges.}

GRAVITYGRINDER: It's not fair! You're supposed to give me time to monolouge!

POLARFLAME: Er, that's a stupid rule.

GRAVITYGRINDER: That's it! TRAP TRIGGER!

{PolarFlame and PolarMag fall into a hole and suddenly the are in a futuristic maze that glows slightly}

POLARMAG: HOLY LASERTAG/TRON, POLARFLAME!

{Several ninjas with swords appear}

POLARFLAME: Let's go!

{PolarFlame hurls a fireball at the ninjas, then creates a wall of ice. PolarMag uses his power to attract all the burning swords together. PolarFlame freezes them}

POLARFLAME: YOU'RE GOING TO NEED BETTER NINJAS!!

POLARMAG: Don't give him ideas.

{GravityGrinder appears.}

GRAVITYGRINDER: Now I'm ticked off. I don't care about this planet so much.

{PolarMag suddenly gets in a powering stance.}

POLARMAG: You know what else Electromagnetivity makes, other than magnets?

POLARFLAME: Ah!

{Polaflame creates a gust of coolness, making the air condense slightly}

POLARFLAME: It's awful sweaty in here. You know what the salt in sweat plus water makes?

POLARMAG: CONDUCTIVITY!

{Polarmag shoots a bolt of electricty at GravityGrinder.}

GRAVITYGRINDER: THE METEOR WILL STAIN THE PLANET... RED!

{GravityGrinder vanishes. A rumbling occurs}

POLARFLAME: The meteor must have entered the atmosphere

{PolarFlame and PolarMag fly into the air. There is a buring meteor a ways away.}

POLARFLAME: I don't know how long I can melt it...

POLARMAG: My magnetivity! I can!

POLARFLAME: Of course!

{PolarFlame powers up, then fires a melting beam right at the meteor. The meteor glows brighter and begins to melt faster.}

POLARFLAME: Hurry... up...

{PolarMag shoots a wave of magnetism at it. it begins to decelerate. A dramaticly long time ensues as it shrinks}

POLARFLAME: It won't work! we need a better plan

{PolarMag smiles sadly}

POLARMAG: Yes... of course...

{PolarFlame's eyes widen}

POLARFLAME: No... How stupid could we have been? The answer was obvoius! We jus fracture it!

POLARMAG: heh. I bet the audience thought I was smiling because of a sacrifice or something. No, I'm just sad because it was so obvoius. I'LL MAKE THE THING REPELL ITSELF!

{The meteor breaks up pretty swiftly.}

POLARMAG: You did it!

POLARFLAME: What do you MEAN "You did it"? You're just trying to get me to say "We did it". You did most of the work! I just made it less dramatic by helping it burn

POLARMAG: I guess should reveal my identity...

POLARFLAME: It's pretty blatantly obvious that you're Kyves. I mean, honestly. Oh well. I doubt any of the idiots who know us that we save will know who you are anyway

POLARMAG: Yeah... So the moral is:

CHEAT COMMANDOES' VOICEOVERGUY: BUY ALL OUR PLAYSETS AND TOYS!

{Suddenly cut to Homestar}

HOMESTAR: Hmm... they're playsets and toys, eh? maybe I should dial their number "555-POLARDUO" or visit their website at www.polarflameandpolarmagparaphahelia.net, "It's dot egg!"

{The paper comes down "EMAIL EKUL TODAY!"}