User:Ekul/Email/81

Overview

Taking out the alien invaders...

Lines: 158

Cast (in order of appearance): Ekul, Kyves, Tandy, C11, Coach Z, Homeschool, Loyalshot, Marty,Klanxklankla, various aliens, Gritlenchlamp, Dark Skinned Ekul, Light skinned Nived, Theta, Darlinite, Darlon, Mysterious penguins

Transcript

{Ekul is outside with his two guns out, in front of his Trash Can. Kyves is sitting next to him, swords drawn}

KYVES: ...So then I said, "You seem to have that problem yourself, wierdo." That's when he started yelling at me, saying things that would give a gangster a heart attack.

EKUL: So that's why we're out here.

KYVES: No, I'm not done yet. That's when he calls a bounty hunter, and he starts shooting at me. In trying to protect myself, I accedentally knocked him off the building. He may have survived, I don't know. Probably did. But his older brother probably didn't think so, and he came after me.

EKUL: Okay, is THAT the reason we're out here?

KYVES: No, shut up. So anyway, back in the city, he finds me, and we start fighting. He starts to win and gets me to the edge of a building, puts his boot on my head, and his gun at my heart. I start shocking him and he convulses. He falls out of the way and drops some form of plutonium on me and I gain magnetic super powers somehow. Since he has bounty hunter armor on, I shoot him off... right into a ship, which crash lands, but apparently nobody was hurt, since they file out to face me.

{Ekul yawns}

EKUL: So is that why we're here?

KYVES: Wait! There's more!

EKUL: Forget it. I don't think I want to know anymore. Tell me if any assassins or assassinators come.

{Ekul climbs into the Trash Can. Cut to his room. He walks over to the tandy}

Email time?

EKUL: Yeah, yeah. Just bring 'er up.

Exactly is it possible to think a little Ekul and rememberence forms/your in regard to all exciting things which you/your which transfers the paper which future needs causes?

If this turns to Engrish, regrettable,

Chwoka which is Chwoka because of me

EKUL: {reads Email} I can only assume you're asking why come I don't remember what I going to be like when I turn into a future form. Well, there's some important science in that. I remember what I am like subconsiously, and gradually retain my memories with age of my current form. Now, my knowlege stays the same. Another thing, is that I always forget everything about my current and later forms that would create a paradox while I am transforming. I do know that I will gain a new human partner soon... Well, I know you don't like tangents, but you asked for-

KYVES: {offscreen} WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!

EKUL: Crap.

{Ekul, C11, Coach Z, Homeschool, Loyalshot and Marty run out of the Trash Can. Kyves is surrounded by some strange alien creatures}

EKUL: Crap.

HOMESCHOOL: If I understand this situation, we're surrounded by the aliens who kidnapped me and have come to kidnap me again?

EKUL: No, they're here to kill a Kyvesing bird.

KYVES: Never call me that again.

{A guy comes up to them. His voice is very whiny, nasally and annoying}

BAD GUY: Hey guys. We're going to take your stuff and kill you.

EKUL: GAACK! YOUR VOICE!

NASALLY GUY: What? My voice? How about the ozone layer...

LOYALSHOT: KILL ME! JUST DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!!

NASALLY GUY: My name is Klanxklankla.

KYVES: SHUT UP!

{Kyves shoots his swords out and tries to slice Klanxklankla in half. Instead, he falls on the floor, writhing}

KLANXKLANKLA: Ha ha ha. Anyone angry within nine yards or meters, depending on the country you're from, will be hit with a blow. But sadly that means if I get an-

ANOTHER ALIEN: Shut up, Klanxklankla. You're going to-

{Suddenly he falls to the ground in agony. The guy behind him looks around and grabs his neck so that it looks like he was the one who did it.}

YET ANOTHER ALIEN: Um... I gave him a neck pinch.

{Suddenly a leader-looking one comes out}

LEADER: Hmph. You still can't get near us.

EKUL: Oh really, pinheads? I was just thinking the other day how stupid you guys acted in Metaltopia...

{An alien falls down in agony}

HOMESCHOOL: Yeah! And you couldn't even capture what you guys call "A scrawny geek". I mean, that's really pathet-

LEADER: Stop.

{The leader pulls out a gun-looking thing}

MARTY: What kind of treachery is this going to be?

{The gun-looking thing turns out to be a coat rack. He puts it down and puts his coat on it}

LOYALSHOT: {Whispering} Okay guys, that thing must be a sheild generator or master weapon.

{The bad guy gets something out of his pocket. It seems to be a mini TV. It turns on. You don't see the screen, but Ekul, C11, Coach Z, Homeschool, Loyalshot, Kyves and Marty apparently do.}

EKUL: AAAAAAAUUUGHH!

KYVES: Oh man. I am going to hurl...

MARTY: I CAN'T WATCH!

COACH Z: GET ME AWAY!!!

LOYALSHOT: THIS IS TORCHER!

C11: Yorp.

{Suddenly Ekul, C11, Coach Z, Homeschool, Loyalshot and Marty fall to the ground with pain and some start twitching}

LEADER: Now you will see how hate can be a powerful friend...

KYVES: THEN WHY DO YOU MAKE IT HURT US?!?

LEADER: Because you guys are not hating. You're mad. I'm hating you guys right now and don't feel a thing.

EKUL: So it senses the tension and not the hate?

LEADER: Yes, but be mad please. I bet you are angry about the reruns of Strong Bad's kid show.

{Suddenly a machine in the middle gets hit with a gun. Kyves' ship comes down and Kyves, Ekul, C11, Coach Z, Homeschool, Loyalshot and Marty get up}

EKUL: Thanks Kyves.

KYVES: No problem. I'm an optimist so I pretended to twitch while I controlled the ship.

RANDOM ALIEN: Lord Ritlenchlamp, it's gone.

RITLENCHLAMP:' DANG! Kill them the less fun way.

EKUL: Uh oh. SPLIT UP!

{Ekul, C11, Homeschool and Marty jump inside the Trash Can. Kyves, Loyalshot and Coach Z jump inside his ship. A portal appears above the Trash Can. Cut to the Trash Can}

EKUL: I am so glad we fixed the Trash Can just yesterday. Let's go...

{Ekul types something onto the Central Control Cylender. Cut back outside. Kyves' ship flies through the portal. Cut to a ship, then cut to the inside of it.}

HOMESCHOOL: This is the very ship I was captured with!

EKUL: Which is why we should sabotage it!

MARTY: I just hope it works.

{Kyves ship comes through a portal outside. Cut to inside it}

COACH Z: They've sensed we're orp here. I dorn't know what you and Ekul have plornned-

KYVES: Don't worry. Now that C11's not here I can turn on my illegally crafted "Luckwatch"

LOYALSHOT: YOU HAVE A LUCKWATCH?! Aww man! Larrad and co. stole all of them in our universe.

KYVES: Just don't let C11 know. He'd go into conniptions.

COACH Z: Hey! I made that one!

KYVES: You're a watch crafter? But-

LOYALSHOT: They've been shiped back onboard. Except, I don't think Klanxklankla is on. I'm sensing one on the planet

{Cut back to the Trash Can.}

EKUL: Okay! OPEN PORTAL!

{Cut outside. A portal opens, and Kyves' ship goes through.}

EKUL: Okay Marty, do your thing.

{Marty jumps out of the Trash Can. Cut to outside. The Trash Can fades. Cut to the bridge of the ship. You can see the pilot, a copilot, a weapons officer, Ritlenchlamp in the pilot's seat, etc. Ekul bursts from the closet and reveals his twin machine guns}

EKUL: Engarde!

{Ekul shoots a disc from his left gun, and his machine gun from the right. The disc hits the pilot, and then explodes.}

RITLENCHLAMP: WHAT THE..?

{Ekul sweeps with his machine gun arm and sweeps through the room. The weapons officer, medical officer, copilot, and several engineers fall down. Ritlenchlamp gets out a sword}

RITLENCHLAMP: What are you...? I thought your pirates were more peaceful-

EKUL: My reason was that tommarow your fleet is scheduled to destroy Metaltopia. I've went to the future, you have.

{Ekul's skin begins to turn darker}

EKUL: But there's also the fact that Ekul isn't in right now...

RITLENCHLAMP:Wha...? Who are you?

EKUL?: Why bother? If you escape, you could spread the word. By the time Ekul's consious, he'll think he did it in self defese. Good night!

{Ekul takes out his sword and stabs him. The he cuts himself on the thigh. His color returns to normal.}

EKUL: Ow... I barely won... I'd better get ready.

{Ekul runs to the Co-pilot's chair and puts the ship geared toward the portal at full velocity. his skin flashes as he anngles it at a different angle towards the portal. He stabs the panel.}

EKUL: Good.

{Ekul gets back inside the Trash Can. Cut back to the engine room. Marty hops in.}

MARTY: Yep! They'll run out of fuel and be marrooned for a few weeks, and by then-

{Cut to the other side of the portal, Kyves' ship is waiting around near a planet. Suddenly, the gigantic ship comes out at an angle. Cut back inside Kyves' ship. You can see out to cockpit}

KYVES: I think they made a mistake... The ship is coming at an angle...

{The ship hurtals toward the planet at full speed.}

KYVES: Wait... That's the marrooned planet that Nived is on!

{The ship collides with the planet, and both explode on impact. The Trash Can and the Shadow Slinker materialize. Out of The Trash San, comes a navy blue penguin with a cap and weird sunglasses, and a cool, turquoise robe, followed by Marty carrying an unconsious dark skinned Ekul. Out of the Shadow Slinker, comes a green penguin with similar clothing followed by a lighter skinned Nived. Darlon, Darlinite and Theta follow the out.}

MYSTERIOUS PENGUIN 1: Sorry to bother you. Your friend is out right now.

MYSTERIOUS PENGUIN 2: Don't worry he'll live, and he will be alright when he next wakes up.

NIVED?: Yup. This guy isn't directly in conrol of his own mind.

KYVES: Pheonixes can't be possessed.

NIVED: He's not possessed.

MYSTERIOUS PENGUIN 1: If we told you the complete truth, you'd be scared to death. All we can promise is that he'll be okay in the end.

MYSTERIOUS PENGUIN 2: We need to go now. We'll come back again soon.

THETA: Look,we'll take you back home. I owe you guys my life again.

{Nived, Theta, Darlon, Darlinite and the mysterious penguins get in the shadow slinker and leave}

KYVES: What... the... crap...

{The paper comes down saying "Email Ekul if you want to learn more..."}

Fun Facts

• The E-mail ACTUALLY was originally:

Dear Ekul,

Can you tell us of some happy memories that you had as some of your past forms?

If this turns to engrish, I'm sorry, Chwoka