User:Ekul/Email/77

Overview

Bad grammar to create fun challenge time!

Lines: 82

Cast (in order of appearance): Ekul, C11, Tandy, Cul, Soldier, Pirate, Thumb, Bat, rock golem, Zyves, Loyalshot, Kyves

Transcript

{Ekul is once more working on C11, but he's in his room}

EKUL: Bleh. You were pretty messed up. You keep on exploding! And I keep on doing things procrastinatively. Now it's time for the email.

{Ekul walks in}

EKUL: Hey, Tandy! Arm the email torpedoes!

Aye sir. Ekulmail.exe activated.

EKUL: Fire at will!

Deark Ekulk,
Whatk ifk lifek wask morek likek
ak RPGK?k
Also, IT'S CURTAINS FOR YOU!
-thatkidsam

ATTATCHMENT: c|_|RT/\1NS.exe

EKUL: Oh! It's my good friend Thatkidsam! Hang on, you misspelled a few things.

{The cursor goes back up and then retypes some parts}

Dear Ekul,
What if life was more like
an RPG?
Also, IT'S CURTAINS FOR YOU!
-thatkidsam

ATTATCHMENT: c|_|RT/\1NS.exe

EKUL: Much better. I'm sure you feel more satisfied now. Ooh! An attaché case!

{The cursor clicks on the attachment.}

Sorry. File is corrupt. In other words, curtains only work on Windows.

EKUL: Blast the personn whoever decided people should be allowed to have monopolies.

Nobody decided it. It just is.

EKUL: Shut up, 'puter. {Typing aloud} Anyway, RPG? Well, it is that way in about 40 years. The RPG era ends about 4X97 and begins again in 5øX6. Time for a break while I force my future self to do all the work.

{Cut to Cul. He's eating very messily. It appears to be noodles he is eating. He stops suddenly}

CUL: Oh, yeah! I promised Thatkidsam X0 years ago I would show him what life is like in an RPG.

{Cul stands up and walks into a room with a bright orange background}

CUL: EXPLAINATION TIME!

{Suddenly the bacground fades.}

CUL: First of all, everything would be subtitled.

{A box appears at the bottom of the screen}

CUL: {Speaking and subtitles} With no audability and wierd typing noises. {Speaking without voice and with a typical RPG text sound. Still subtitled} And also remove grammer and put a throw of accasional error in spellings and grammars. Next, mash action buttons for symmetrical jumps all the time!

{Cul jumps the exact same way and heighth and way three times}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Fun time as worse graphics!

{Cul becomes a 3D sprite that is very blocky.}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} A musics is in the bacglound.

{Steriotypical background Music turns on. It repeats every so often.}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Many lands are to be found! Dungeons, jungles, clouds and towns!

{Cut to each place as he says them. The dungeon has a torch and grimy brick walls. The jungle has jungle trees, a path and an obvious trap. Blocky clouds appear, then a regular town appears}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Towns happen to small! Cities too! Houses small and uncommon, shops large. Hotels have an action room for you! Castles huge.

{The houses shrink and some dissapear. A huge castle appears in the distance. A hotel and two big shops appear.}

CUL: Regular people are name NPCs. NPCs rocks you sock. Many reapeating challenge!

{A pirate walks up to a soldier. In the background}

SOLDIER: {Subtitled and annonying sound} The castle leader is losed his legendary boot.

PIRATE: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Yar. You need a Membership Pass to get on the dock.

SOLDIER: {Subtitled and annonying sound} The castle leader is losed his legendary boot.

PIRATE: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Yar. You need a Membership Pass to get on the dock.

SOLDIER: {Subtitled and annonying sound} The castle leader is losed his legendary boot.

PIRATE: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Yar. You need a Membership Pass to get on the dock.

{Cul puts his hand on his mouth, thinking}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Hmm... What am I forgetting...? Of course!

{Suddenly the screen fades away slowly. The screen is black for a few moments}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound. Offscreen} Loading time takes patience challenge! Like in school!

{He is facing a few enemies. There is a thumb-like enemy, a bat-like enemy that slowly flaps it's wings. A rocky type enemy has rocks floating around him is there too.}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Fighting and challenge is fun!

{Cul punches the thumb enemy. "234" reads above the enemy's head. It dissapears slowly. The bad jumps on him. It has a green 22 above his head, and a red reads above Cul's head. He swings his saber right afterward and it says "Counterattack sucess! 300" and the bat fades away, too. The background dissapears and Cul shoots a light bluish beam}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Ice blow!

{Several different views of him doing the attack flash. The enemy gets hit. "900" it says.}

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} XP is important! New learning!

{A green "130xp" flashes by him. HE does a victory pose. }

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Party members am imperative!

{Zyves walks in and a message appears on the bottom}

Zyves has joined your party

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Partner follow and repeat your actions! Obidient!

{Cul walks around then jumps. Kyves follows suit.}

ZYVES: {Subtitled and annonying sound} We might need him king boot!

CUL: {Subtitled and annonying sound} Party member helpful many times! Give advice! Well am need to eat more!

{Cut to Ekul at the Trash Can. HE is talking to loyalshot, apparrently}

EKUL: I think I'm- Oh wait. Now would be a good time to finish my email.

LOYALSHOT: {Angrilly} We're in the middle of a conversation-

EKUL: Nah. Now's good. Kyves?

{Kyves walks in}

EKUL: Keep this guy company for a few seconds.

KYVES: Sure.

{Ekul looks at the screen}

EKUL: Anyway, I hope that answered you question- I mean your question.

{The classic Strong Bad paper comes down, saying "Email Ekul!}