User:Ekul/Email/75

Overview

Ekul's 75 email special

Lines: 400

Cast (in order of appearance): Ekul, C11, Coach Z, Kyves, Tandy, King of Town, Darlon, Darlinite, Armeggeddon cast, Larrad, Lawrence, Homestar, Homeschool, Bubs, Strong Bad, Nived, Theta, Chocolate Ekul

Transcript

{Ekul is fixing C11. Coach Z is next to him, and Kyves is working on the cylinder.}

COACH Z: I mean, the kids were great! But what's strange is that this guy Penn, Penn Pasta signed up for the teaching as well. If he was their teacher things would have-

{Suddenly, one of C11's compartments opens and shoots a piece of hardware out, showering sparks everywhere. It hits a wall with loose wires and gets tangled in. Ekul gets shocked}

C11: BREELORBLORPREENOREEDOOR!

EKUL: AARRRLLALALALAL!

TRASH CAN: Dematerializing sequenses... online!

COACH Z: HOORAAY! HOORAY!

KYVES: Yeeeeha!

EKUL: Yes! Wait... Trash Can, is it possible to remove C11's internet feed system and you still work?

TRASH CAN: Negative. Find a new one.

EKUL: After all that work... I'm gong to go check an email now.

{Ekul climbs out of the Trash Can. Cut to The King of Town's Castle. The Tandy uncloaks and Ekul sits down.}

Make this one quick! He's looked inside the old shell!

EKUL: Really? That sucks.

Yeah, so hurry up

EKUL: I'll try to transition this email quickly to the outside

{Ekul types "Ekulmail.exe Pass: ***********************"}

Dear Ekul,

As if you didn't know, Darlinite and Darlon escaped...again...Infact, Darlon wasn't even near where you attacked him, but by now the've gotton stronger in their weight training room. They now has extreme reflexes (Has shown under 100 billion gravity), and luckily, now I'm not tied up, so I can help you! Come to January 3rd, 5006, please. I just got untied, and can type without a toothpick today.

Signed,
Chwokal

(Wow that was a long one)

EKUL: {Reads aloud} Oh crap. There's no way I can help you.

use time travel.exe!

EKUL: That wouldn't work. Timetravel.exe is unreliable. Each time you use it, it destroys your life force a little bit. The only way to reverse it is to cyrogenically freeze yourself for twice as long as you went back. It will also eat up the universe beacause of the shifting fo molecles unstabley. It also will suck up your computer's memory because of the magnetism.

Never mind.

EKUL: In fact, the guy who sent gimmicks used it to summon something to destroy you. When used to summon, it only sucks the life of the one who created the email

Crud. I forgot about Gimmicks. Maybe we should answer another.

EKUL: Alright open up the email...

{As the email starts to come up, The King of town bursts in}

KING OF TOWN: EKUL! It was you who stole my tandy! You'll...

Dear Ekul,

Do you remember when you would answer emails and be funny without some sort of gimmick? I do, I miss those days.

With a lot of crap,

Mike W
Everett, MA

EKUL: NOOO!!! TANDY!!!!

It must have come by me talkng about it!

KING OF TOWN: What's happening to my Tandy?

EKUL: Shut up, Mucho Gordo. Tandy! DELETE! SHUT DOWN! CLEANSE!

{The tandy types slowly}

I can't take it... It's eating away...

EKUL: Intinitate protocol 987.

You can't mean...

EKUL: Just do it!

{Darlon and Darlinite appear. they both are smiling evilly}

DALON: Muahaha... Without returning to the future as well as the fact you summoned two of your worst enemies with the Gimmicks Factor...

KING OF TOWN: Now SEE HERE... Wait... What is that thing...?

{Darlon tosses the Tandy at the King of Town and the Tandy dissapears, sending a shockwave and making the King of town dissappear moments later.}

EKUL: H- how did you know about gimmicks?

DARLINITE: I sent it to you.

EKUL: It all fits together.

DARLINITE: We were thinking about killing you and about time traveling to you. That's how it works.

EKUL: But unfortunately for you, I have a back up plan.

{Ekul glows with a light and dissapears}

DARLON: WHAT?! WHERE IS HE!?

DARLINITE: What? He's gone! But wait...

DARLON: This may prove an advantage!

{Cut to a desert, desolate, dark, destroyed, disconsolate, dead, (and all those wierd "d" synonyms) planet. Ekul appears. There are a few destroyed buildings and ruined shacks}

EKUL: Whaugh! What the...? Where am I?!

{Ekul runs over to a destroyed building. It looks like an altered Bubs'Concessions. And it's destroyed.}

EKUL: NO!

{Ekul runs to the Strong Hold. It's not there, but it's several dekameters (Yeah, I used a word nobody else ever says. So?) from it's usual location}

EKUL: What the...

{Ekul runs to Homestar's house. It's in ruins. There is a battered circus tent some ways away. Ekul jogs up to it and peers in. He sees poverished versions Strong Bad, Homestar, Strong Sad, a smaller Strong Mad, A much more wild The Cheat, Marzipan, Bubs with an eyepatch over his small eye, Homsar with a white version of his hat, The Poopsmith looking less overweight and more sophisticated, Homeschool Winner and lastly Coach Z with hair. Pom Pom and the King of Town are gone. Ekul ducks out of sight and knocks. Strong Mad opens it. He talks with a slight studder, no yelling}

STRONG MAD: Who are you?!? You don't look formilliar. You look like a gigantic duck!

EKUL: I'm a penguin. I'm Ekul!

STRONG MAD: Ekul, eh? Penugin? There's only one penguin left. All the others were killed.

EKUL: Wh-what?!

STRONG MAD: Yeah. That penguin is evil. He's been alive since 1920. But surely you know this?

EKUL: Err... yeah. But you know about the wiki, right?

STRONG MAD: The what?

EKUL: The fanstuff! You know, Lunar Jesters, Rainer, Josh, me, Thatkidsam, Shim Sham Sam, Super Sam-

STRONG MAD: Super Sam?! What does he always say?

EKUL: Jibney.

STRONG MAD: Well, you must be a good guy. You know the password. Come on inside.

{Strong Mad takes him in. Strong Bad stand up}

STRONG BAD: He know the password?

EKUL: Yeah. So Strong Bad...

{Everybody looks around.}

STRONG BAD?: What? Who? What kinda name is that?

EKUL: Er... What's your name?

STRONG BAD?: They call me Strong Bartholmew. You can call me Bartholomew, for short.

EKUL: Ah, yes. What are all their names?

STRONG MAD: My name is Strong Marty

STRONG SAD: And I'm Strong Sparticus.

BARTHOLOMEW: Some people call us "Barty, Marty and Sparty"

SPARTICUS: Yeah. It's amazing how fast you get used to it.

HOMESTAR: I'm called Hopestar Traveler. But some people call me "Travis". I haven't been able to stop them.

BARTHOLOMEW: We call the little yellow guy The Cheat.

{The Cheat looks up at Ekul}

MARZIPAN: They call me Mazypan. Or sometimes Mazy.

BUBS: I'm called Dr. Stand.

{Homsar talks a little bit more normal, but still sounds the same}

HOMSAR: I'm Sir Homsar. Smith the Navigator has taken a vow of silence.

{Smith gives a wink of recognition}

HOMESCHOOL: I'm Loyalshot Wanderer. Some call me Lloyd.

{Coach Z's accent is still the same, but a little lower in pitch}

COACH Z: And I'm the leader, Zerv.

EKUL: Wait... Is there a duck named Kyves around here?

SIR HOMSAR: Sure is! He's our scout.

EKUL: So, I'm an outsider, shall we say. What is the level of technology?

DR STAND: Level of technology? Well, we use electrical knifes, holograms, Computers...

EKUL: Internet?

DR STAND: What?

EKUL: You know, connection of computers... mailing text from computer to computer...

LOYALSHOT: Wow! I'd never thought of such a thing! Good idea!

EKUL: How about vehicals?

SPARTICUS: I'm our main driver. We have Drilljeeps for ground and things called Hovertanks for the air.

EKUL: Water?

MARTY: Those are subs.

BARTHOLOMEW: But only the government and rebels like us have electrical and gas using technology. Everybody else just has radios and plays.

EKUL: Amazing.... Who is the world leader?

HOPESTAR: You mean solar system ruler? Who else, but Larrad. We killed his father very recently. It costed us our best assassin, Pommel.

EKUL: And anyone else?

HOPESTAR: Oh! That's right! There's a vice dictator ruled by a guy named Darlon. ANd his third in command is Lawrence

{Ekul sighs}

EKUL: Thanks for your help. Now I will reveal myself. I am Ekul the Maruading Maniac who lives in a Trash Can

MAZYPAN: But that's our hideout! It's an old time machine that doesn't work. Kyves gave it to us.

EKUL: Ah. But I'm not done. I am from a world where people run free of Larrad or Darlon. A world where penguins inhabit the antarctic region of the planet. A world where the sun shines on us. A world where technology is distributed quite a bit.

BARTHOLOMEW: I ask your world to please, please help us out.

EKUL: That would not be easy. I am from a different universe. I came here by accident.

ZERV: A different universe?

EKUL: Yes. My guess is, is that people from the year 5005 came to 1936 and changed a few things. My guess is that they went back and kidnapped me, then used a phenonix killer on me in the future. This solar system takeover isn't supposed to happen until 5005

SPARTICUS: Whoa! I bet my form is really cool and nice!

EKUL: No comment.

BARTHOLOMEW: And my form would be able to help more people!

HOPESTAR: And my inventions would be known by all!

DR STAND: And I would run a legal business that would prosper!

MARTY: And I wouldn't have to hurt a fly...

LOYALSHOT: And I wouldn't have to hide!

EKUL: Wait a second... The reason I was called here was a program that brought you to somebody who was your enemy... That must mean someone who fears me is answering an email... DARLON! Everyone! quick!

ZERV: Alright then! Everyone! MOVE OUT! The Cheat, you guard

THE CHEAT: Meh!

{Everybody files out. Kyves lands nearby}

KYVES: Hey guys, what's with the congestion?

LOYALSHOT: We have reason to believe there is an enemy checking a fuction that existed in a different dimension.

HOPESTAR: A thing called email.

KYVES: Ah. I'll scout him out. Which way?

EKUL: Bu- I mean a concessions stand in ruins.

KYVES: Ah. I- Wait a second who are you?

EKUL: Ekul.

KYVES: Oh. Okay. If you say so. I'm going to take my time and get all the intel I need, since we're in Fog of War.

{Kyves obediantly takes off.

ZERV: Kyves is a strange duck. In getting intel for the assassination, his predecessor, Jyves, died. His son who we never knew of took his place.

EKUL: Hmmm... I understand.

{Ekul gets a list of wiki users out, pictures and all. He hands pages out for everybody. They all quickly read them, then huddle together, making whispering sounds. They resurface.}

BARTHOLOMEW: There are only three alive users in here. Super Sam, Markie, and Princess Homestar, although their names are different.

SPARTICUS: Princess Homestar is called Peacestar. Super Sam is the same, and Markie is a hemit in the mountains that doesn't have a name. He has a gigantic supply of food and weapons for us.

EKUL: Heh. By the way, I would like to know if something like the number system is different.

HOPESTAR: How can it get differet? One, two, kind, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, haw?, eleven, ten, onedy one, onedy two...

EKUL: Stop! It's different. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve...

MARTY: That's just messed up.

EKUL: What are laws for this country?

ZERV: Well in number of importance, number one rule is, don't tick off Larrad. Rule number two is, don't tick off Darlon. Rule three, don't tick off Lawrence. Rule four, don't tick off their underlings. Rule five, killing is alright as long as it's not killing any of the before hand people. Rule six, no rebellions-

LOYALSHOT: I hate that law!

SIR HOMSAR: We all do. But you forget the next law.

ZERV: ...Law seven, don't interupt people. Law eight, don't lie to the police. Law nine, don't steal from the police. Law ten, no falling in love. Law eleven, no idleness, always work. Law twelve, no whining.

DR. STAND: Yeah. It goes on like that. The last law is the most important law.

ZERV: Which is "No breaking the law."

EKUL: It's evil! Whenever you break one law you break another automatically!

ZERV: Yeah yeah.

EKUL: I'd be wanted, since I'm a pirate who steals to the rich and gives to the needy.

{Just then, several troops come out from behind a ruined building.}

EKUL: LOOK OUT!!

{Everybody jumps to the ground as bullets fly overhead. Ekul throws a dagger at one, who falls back and shoots a guy next to him. Bartholomew runs up and punches a guy, then takes out his nunchuck gun and starts firing. Homestar and Loyalshot whip out katanas and attempt to double team the bad guys, one by one. Sparticus does hand to hand, and kicks people with his snoolds. The bad guys are decimated quickly}

MARTY: Whoa! If it wasn't for you, we would have died!

{Kyves flies back over}

KYVES: I have all the intel we need. Darlon is attempting a final attempt to kill us and was deleting everything in his email and he accedently opened all of them. That's how this kid got here

EKUL: Hey! I'm older than you!

KYVES: Wait... how would you know?

EKUL: It's a long story. Go on.

KYVES: So this guy's going to go. Who else?

HOPESTAR: I'd like to go.

BARTHOLOMEW: Count me in!

LOYALSHOT: I'm coming!

KYVES: Good, good. You guys'll be perfect. The base is actually below the ruins, but there's another way in. Dig a few dekameters away from the old Strong Hold.

{Kyves holds up a map. An X is over the place the Strong Hold is in the regular dimension.}

KYVES: You will find a tunnel and a staircase. Go down the stairs and go down that lower tunnel. That should get you under a desk.

MARTY: {Whispering} We have no clue how he gets his intel. Zerv thinks he has something on his watch.

LOYALSHOT: Well, off we go then, right Travis?

HOPESTAR: Sure thing, Lloyd.

{Bartholomew, Loyalshot, Hopestar and Ekul set off for the Strong Hold. Bartholomew looks at the map, but Ekul digs right where he remembers the location in the other universe. Sure enough, a trapdoor is there.}

LOYALSHOT: Whoa! How'd you do that?

EKUL: Long story. Let's go down here.

{The four of them go under and down the stairs. The hallway looks dark.}

HOPESTAR: Might as well explain it to us.

EKUL: Well, to start off...

{As they begin walking we fade to black. The screen flashes a message}

7 hours later...

EKUL: ...So then, I said "Plasminator"

{All four of them laugh hysterically. They come to the exit and abruptly stop talking}

EKUL: Here we are....

{Ekul carefully crawls into the vent below him and the other three follow suit. He looks through to see that he is staring down at Larrad, Darlon and Lawrence.}

BARTHOLOMEW: {quietly} whoa! Larrad himself is here?! Wasting his time on us? And Lawrence too?

LOYALSHOT: Tread lightly...

LARRAD: Have you captured them yet?

LAWRENCE: The fools who work for us have been trying ever hour. These guys are doing really good!

DARLON: Hmph. Well, we should bomb it.

LARRAD: No. This area is valuble. Bombing it would rip a hole in cyberspace. It's unreversable. So don't do that. My Slinker is ready. Now we will travel to the other universe and clone the characters. Using these clones, we can kill the rebels easily.

BARTHOLOMEW: As soon as Darlon gets in there, we should drop phosphorous gas in there. Ready... Now!

{The slinker forms in front of the bad guy trio. Larrad gets in first, then Darlon. A canister falls from the vent, and Lawrence falls back, hits his head on the table and is knocked out. The four dive out out of the vent}

DARLON: {Offscreen} Lawrence? The coordinates are set!

{The four jump in. Darlon is by the door inside and Larrad is at the controls.}

DARLON: Now Law- wait a-

{Bartholomew uppercuts him. Larrad looks over. But Loyalshot and Hopestar are already both kicking him into conniptions.}

EKUL: You guys can hold them for hostages later. Kick them into that closet.

{Hopestar and Loyalshot kick him(Litterally) into a closet.}

EKUL: The coordinates are set.

BARTHOLOMEW: What is this?

EKUL: Remember the old Trash Can thing that you guys use as a base? This is similar. Only it works.

HOPESTAR: So this is how he got control of the universe...

{Ekul presses a key on the cylinder. The ship dematerializes}

SHADOW SLINKER: What would you like to transform into today?

EKUL: Postbox. My Trash Can is my own creation and I couldn't organize what it turned into. But this cheapo bought it, not made it.

{Cut to the Stick. A postbox materializes. Ekul climbs out of the mail part and so do the other three.}

BARTHOLOMEW: Arrrgh! The light! IT's so bright here!

HOPESTAR: Whaugh! This sun is GREAT! It's warm, you can see everything....

LOYALSTAR: Wow! look at the Splinters! It's actually one piece!

EKUL: Yeah yeah. I need to get back to the Trash Can, which we are fixing right now.

{Ekul walks over, past Homestar.}

HOMESTAR: Oh hello little guy! Hey! These guys look like Strong Bad, me and my bro!

HOPESTAR: Is this me?

EKUL: Err... yeah. If he's as smart as you, he doesn't show it.

HOMESTAR: What are you guys talking about? You know what I'm gonna be talking about? Bubs sold me a an old carborator and it exploded! It was fun. It was the best one hundred dollars I ever spent!

HOPESTAR: He doesn't seem like me...

EKUL: Yes... I'm sor-

HOPESTAR: He's great! He's so positive! I wish I could be like him!

EKUL: Er... what?

HOMESTAR: Who are you, anyway?

HOPESTAR: I'm Hopestar Traveler. Some people think I'm an exellent inventor.

HOMESTAR: Oh wow! I'm Homestar Runner! Some folk say I'm a terrific athlete. What a coincedence!

BARTHOLOMEW: Who do I look like again?

HOMESTAR: Strong Bad. He currently owes me five hundred dollars.

BARTHOLOMEW: Are you good friends with him?

HOMESTAR: He's my best friend!

{Ekul clears his throat warningly}

EKUL: Well, Homestar, guide this guy, Travis around.

HOPESTAR: Well... It's not my name, but I need to be more optimistic, like you!

{Homestar and Hopestar walk off}

LOYALSHOT: Where's my version?

EKUL: I do beleive he is on the outskirts. We can take the long way. We need his help anyway.

{The two walk over, but meet Homeschool before they leave town}

HOMESCHOOL: Whoa! Who are you guys?

BARTHOLOMEW: I'm Bartholomew.

LOYALSHOT: Call me Loyalshot. You are?

HOMESCHOOL: Homeschool.

LOYALSHOT: Well, in the past of my dimension, Larrad rules supreme, and I am a rebel.

HOMESCHOOL: Well, I'm also as you would say, an outlaw. The King of Town hates me, so I have to live in relative obscurity.

LOYALSHOT: Man... You aren't at all what I expected; you're better! An intellectual outcast seems way better than a famous person. Can you join us?

HOMESCHOOL: The king-

EKUL: ...is gone. Right now he is transported to an unknown place and time.

HOMESCHOOL: In that case, I'll join you.

LOYALSHOT: Zerv is gone?

EKUL: The King of Town. He looks like this.

{Ekul shows a picture of the King of Town}

BARTHOLOMEW: Heh. This guy was killed when he wouldn't join the bad guy nor give the castle up. He was fat anyway.

EKUL: Spoken like a true form of Strong Bad

HOMESCHOOL: Hmm... I wouldn't mind switching places with you. We'd look the same if we traded clothes.

{The four walk along and cross Bubs.}

BUBS: Ooh! Homeschool! Come to buy some more stuff?

HOMESCHOOL: The King of Town is not a threat right now. So you can whip out the shotgun and the other weapons again.

BUBS: Hot potato!

{The three start to walk away, when they meet Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: Eugh. Homeschool... Augh! Ekul! No using my la-

EKUL: I now use your old tandy.

STRONG BAD: Oh. That thing doesn't-

BARTHOLOMEW: Pleasure to meet you, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Whoa!!! That guy looks awesome! He looks all... rough... and like me...

BARTHOLOMEW: Eh, like you?

STRONG BAD: Yeah. Of course, not many people are as cool as me.

BARTHOLOMEW: Err... Do you like Homestar?

STRONG BAD: If he pays for my ego. But my stupid kid brother is the one you should avoid.

BARTHOLOMEW: Sparty!?

STRONG BAD: Strong Sad. He is so whiny... So depressive. But I don't really care.

BARTHOLOMEW: Er... Do you even care that you're standing on a scorpion?

STRONG BAD: Nah. Ooh! Cool! There's the answer to that email!

BARTHOLOMEW: So, mind if I tag along? I'm a rebel.

STRONG BAD: WHOA! REBEL!? Awesome! Come along!

BARTHOLOMEW: You know... I wish I could be that apathetic... And not wear a shirt like that...

HOMESCHOOL: You don't wear a shirt.

BARTHOLOMEW: Yeah, but I wish I could not wear it the way he doesn't

{Bartholomew and Strong Bad rush off}

EKUL: Well, It's just the three of us.

LOYALSHOT: Can I meet Zerv?

EKUL: Coach Z. He's still a leader, yet now he's just a motivational guy and right now is helping me rebuild my Trash Can. So, yes. You will.}

{Cut to the Trash Can. Ekul, Loyalshot and Homeschool climb down inside. Coach Z and Kyves are there.}

COACH Z: Whoa! Who's the guy who looks like Homeschool?

EKUL: Let's just say it's a alpha beta Q niner zeta theta omega.

{A look of understanding sweeps across his face. Loyalshot notices Kyves}

LOYALSHOT: KYVES?

KYVES:That's the name. Ekul must hav-

LOYALSHOT: You're best friends with Kyves here?

EKUL: Yes. So have my predecessors, although we've all had to find him each time we regenerate.

LOYALSHOT: But...

KYVES: Now I'm presuming I don't know what's going on.

EKUL: Different universe. They kidnap my past form and a few other important people, put me in a pheonix killer, and torcher secrets out of the other. That changes the future. Right now, we're in a reserve universe.

KYVES: Hmm... So you need to time travel to the time they came...

EKUL: They came via the Gimmicks Program. Darlon and darlinite. However, they needed to return to their time, and left Nived's 1936 form to lead. Well, Pom pom recently gave his life up, but only triggered the pheonix regeneration

KYVES: Ah! So you need to, just as they time travel, transport them somewhere else.

EKUL: Exactly.

LOYALSHOT: Well, my whole world can be saved by doing this...

COACH Z: Well, I've got a plan...

{Cut to the Shadow Slinker. Ekul, Loyalshot and Kyves are present, Ekul at the cylinder.}

EKUL: It's perfect! They probably traveled by Nived and Theta! They needed a way to get back, so they plotted their coordinates and mailed them to them!

KYVES: That's a great theory! Now, do you remember them?

{Ekul types up the coordinates}

EKUL: Sure do.

{Cut to the Tandy room}

DARLON: Yes... Now we can rule the world even sooner!

{The Shadow Slinker Materializes. Nived and Theta get out.}

THETA: Nives has come with me, for certain things he knows about today.

{In the background, Ekul and Loyalshot get out of one Shadow Slinker(Discuised as a fax machine) and slide into the other Shadow Slinker.}

NIVED: Well, The first thing we should do is get in the time machine. Then we travel to 1929. Come along...

{All of the bad guys get in, not noticing the other cleverly discuised Shadow Slinker.}

DARLON: Now, I need to email my present self... Oh how I lived in misery in those days... But now the tide will turn...

{Darlon enters his password. Ekul springs up and stabs Darlinite in the shoulder. Loyalshot jumps and kicks Nived away. Cut back to the other Shadow Slinker. Kyves is putting in coordinates, and then cut to a scene where the Tandy is about to be thrown.

KING OF TOWN: Now see here...

{The Shadow slinker looks invisible from one side, but on the King of Town's side, it is a Trash Can.}

KING OF TOWN: Wait... What's that...?

{The Tandy lands inside the Shadow Slinker. Kyves sends out a shockwave and grabs the King of town}

KING OF TOWN: Wha- Ho- Why- Thanks-

KYVES: No need to thank me.

{Kyves opens up the tandy and snips a wire. It shuts down instantly. He then wires something else into it. The Shadow Slinker appears in a place with tons of chocolate}

KYVES: You've meddled with Free Country for the last time. Goodbye

{Kyves knocks him out into the chocolate land}

KING OF TOWN: This is more like severence pay than over throwing!

{Chocolate figures come out. A chocolate Ekul comes out}

CHOCOLATE EKUL: You are hereby jailed for life for attempted devouration of our king, 1-Up Cheatachu.

KING OF TOWN: Gulp...

{Cut back to the other Shadow slinker. Nived and Darlinite are out cold. Ekul is fighting Darlon, Loyalshot is fighting Theta}

THETA: What's the point of trying to stop us? We'll rule the world anyway! Why bother?!

LOYALSHOT: Shut up.

DARLON: But you see, I have a gun that can blow a spaceship up from lightyears away.

{Darlon aims it at Ekul. Ekul types someting in quickly, then suddenly gimmicks comes up. Marty appears. Marty sees the gun and breaks it in half. He picks up Theta and throws him against the wall, leaving Darlon surrounded. Ekul types something in.}

DARLON: Who is this fool?

MARTY: Someone from your past in a different dimension.

{Darlon is thrown into the wall, knocking him out too. Cut to the desert planet that Ekul was on an email ago. The Shadow Slinker appears and Darlinite, Darlon, Theta and Nived fall out. Ekul, Loyalshot and Marty climb out, Ekul with a giant piece of machinery. Another Shadow Slinker fades in and Kyves comes out.}

EKUL: I'm leaving a sabotaged version of their ship here.

KYVES: Why? We could take it back and-

EKUL: They won't explore. They'll tbe bent on fixing it, and not get anywhere. There's a colony of bad guys who would be willing to take them back. So we should leave them here.

{Marty, Loyalshot, Ekul and Kyves get in the Shadow Slinker. Cut to Free Country USA. Hopestar, Loyalshot, Bartholomew, Marty, Ekul and Kyves are standing around the Shadow Slinker}

EKUL: I've set up a relay point in their machine. They'll affect a non-main-universe, creating yours. You can take this back to yours, we'll fix our Trash Can with these parts from his ship.

BARTHOLOMEW: Hopestar, you and I have to come back. Marty, you deserve better than what we have for you. Loyalshot... You've earned it.

LOYALSHOT: Thank you. Goodbye.

{Bartholomew and Hopestar get inside the Shadow Slinker. Hopestar pops back out and hands Ekul the Tandy.}

EKUL: Oh. Thanks!

{The machine fades away.}

KYVES: Well... Loyalshot, you can move in with Homestar. Homeschool is already moved in there, now that the King of Town is gone. Marty, you should travel with us.

MARTY: Really? I'd be delighted!

EKUL: Yes... I suppose we did help Chwokal. They won't be returning to 5005 until it's 5007.

{The classic Strong Bad paper comes down, saying "This concludes the Email special. Email Ekul.}