(even if you aren't vegan)
User:Ekul/Email/15
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Ekul gets a wierd email
Lines: 22
Cast: Ekul, Jim
Transcript
Ekul: Well, it's time for this thing agian...
Dear Ekul..,
Do you like making out? Because my boyfriend
Kissless in Santa Rosa
won't... mostly because he's jealous of you.
I've tried the whole Peter Frampton thang,
but nothing seems to work out. Please help
me Ekul...
Ekul:(Reads to "Making out". Chuckles) No I don't. (reads silently, then starts typing) I'm am not the expert on this. I flat out don't care. I do have plenty of advice, though. If you want to be selfish, run up to a sleeping lion, duct tape fresh meat to your body, and kick it. You'll know what to do then. Or you could do the better choice. First of all, give your credit card, your social security number, your free cash at home, all your possesions, your house, all the paychecks you earn afterwards, all of it, to the poor. Now... your boyfriend- Wait... (Brings up email again, and stops typing) Oh! He's jealous of me! Ah HA! This makes it easier (Brings email back up and types again) Now ask your boyfriend to donate all of that to me. THEN he'll have a reason to be jealous of me other than my hansome body, my generousity, my grand country, my band of pirates, my lightsaber skills... my humble attitude... (Stops typing and sends the email) Well, now she won't think I'm the expert on this...
(The Trash Can flashes with a message. "You are being Hailed")
Ekul: Oh! (Types and says) Onscreen!
(A pirate comes up.)
Ekul: Oh hi, Jim! What's up?
Jim: I've got awesome news! The town of Santa Rosa has reached an all time high in donation!
Ekul: (Excited) What?!
Jim: Yes! And our funds have skyrocketed! Without us raiding!
Ekul: Sweet!
Jim: I'll go see how much we have! Oh wait, I've got to show you this note. (He picks up a note and starts reading it.) After my boyfriend and I donated we were so happy! signed Kissless!
Ekul: Hmm... I should make a help corner...
(The paper comes up)