Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Aruseus Emails

Opening Comments

{Open to Chwoka on the town, driving in a T-Bird, bitches draped over his arms.}

CHWOKA: YEAH FUCK YOU I'M POP STAR KING OF POP!!!

{Cut to the MFT3K Place. Where is that? Who cares}

NACHOMAN: I'm bored. I want to riff something because I'm bored.

BLUBY: tell me about it

NACHOMAN: Oh! Hey, Zarel Emails had like 10 that we didn't do! Maybe we can go back and do those?

BLUBY: i ain't in the mood for yellow dragon action

{Suddenly, Skub enters with a tower of VHS tapes in a wagon.}

SKUB: I FOUND A FUCKIN GOLDMINE

NACHOMAN: What, the new Zarel Emails?

SKUB: ... Close.

{Skub takes a VHS from the top of the mountain, careful not to topple it. He shows the tape to his friends who suddenly scream in horror.}

SKUB: Yes! YEEEEEEES!

{Skub turns to the viewer and holds the tape up to them.}

SKUB: BEFORE THERE WAS ZAREL THERE WAS

Aruseus Emails

Fanstuff of the Fortnight, August 1, 2008

NACHOMAN: I don't see why we'd riff something of such upstanding quality. Have you seen his award? If not, let me just toss it in your face the second you load the page.
SKUB: Well the problem can't be that people can't vote for shit! The vox populi always chooses right.
CHWOKA: I won this award for MFT3K back when it only had four pages. It's not that much of an accomplishment.

$^$#@%@!!

Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/Aruseus Emails may contain swearing or other themes of an adult nature.

NACHOMAN: and really disturbing crap like splitting bodies and vore. can we get a warning for that?
SKUB: Nah we can deal.

subject: Arumail.exe

?

SKUB: I'd link that but it's a shitty mspaint picture. So let's not bother.

Computers

Season 1

NACHOMAN: the best fan fictions are the ones that treat themselves like television shows
SKUB: But but but Coach Z Emails :(
CHWOKA: But but but SHUT UP.

Lappy 486

Emails: 1 - 9

This is Aruseus' first computer. It comes with e-mail function and good graphics. 5-minute battery life! Yay!

subject: Arumail.exe

The Lappy's Interface looks like this.

SKUB: It's a good thing he rendered this, otherwise we wouldn't know this obscure laptop that is presumably from this cartoon and this one alone.
CHWOKA: also since when is the lappy gray
BLUBY: AWW HELLA SWEET NITPICK BRO
CHWOKA: YOU KNOW IT
{Bluby and Chwoka ""plank""}

Unfortunately, the Lappy died in email 9, due to an overload of E's.

BLUBY: don't do club drugs
BLUBY: always know your dealer

T-Comp 400X

Email: 10, 45

Tom's computer. Can check emails.

SKUB: What, no backstory? What about the T-Comp's struggle with alcoholism leading up to a failed suicide? And then he gets eaten by a giant dragon?
BLUBY: my iphone is more powerful than this computer and its a cheap knockoff i bought at a gas station
BLUBY: although it can only check emails when you plug it into the phone jack and dial in

The T-Comp's interface looks like this.

The T-Comp 400X died in email 45, when Aruseus tries to re-install Alpha Stan using an infected disc.

CHWOKA: it was all moldy and eww

Intell 600

Emails: 11-19 1/2, 25-30

This is Aruseus' second computer. It is better than the first but works the same.

subject: Arumail.exe

The Intell's interface looks like this.

Sadly, the Intell 600 got hammered

CHWOKA: fuckin' HAMMERED

after getting a virus.

SKUB: Geek Squad does fast work.

Fang's NightPilot

Emails: 19 1/2 - 23

Aruseus goes on vacation and leaves Fang to run his email show. Fang checks Aruseus' email on this.

subject: Arumail.exe

The NightPilot's interface looks like

CHWOKA: shit.
NACHOMAN:my favorite computers are the ones where you have to lean back a little to read the screen

this.

Fang died, so the NightPilot was sold on eStrong.

SKUB: Where's my spoiler alert you crotchtree

Season 2

A-Tech 950

Emails: 31-38, 40-45

Aruseus' third computer, bought after the Intell got hammer'd.

CHWOKA: BUT DOES IT HAVE EMAIL FUNCTION?! I DON'T KNOW, IT DOESN'T SAY
BLUBY: but what does the interface look lIKE

Taily 400

Email: 39

This is Kyubii's computer.

subject: Arumail.exe

The Taily's interface looks like this.

BLUBY: creative

Season 3

E-Mach 1000

CHWOKA: finally, a good fast computer.

Emails: 45 1/2-85

This is Aruseus' 4th computer. Yet again, it's another laptop.

CHWOKA: i am so fucking TIRED of all this PORTABILITY i am going to eat myself BLIND and walk around with not my LEGS but a SEGWAY.
CHWOKA: a broken one because seriously: PORTABILITY.

It technically came in Season 2, but it's back for

BLUBY: REVENGE

more.

BLUBY: more REVENGE

subject: Arumail.exe

The E-Mach's interface looks like this.

Aruseus blew the E-Mach up somehow in a fit of rage.

CHWOKA: How do you... not... know how?

SkyPod

Emails: 86 - ?

The SkyPod is a white PDA that Aruseus recieved from Sky Shaymin.

BLUBY: the only dudes i know named sky are also in porns

subject: Arumail.exe

The SkyPod's interface looks like this.

Scroll Button Songs

101-105: Checkin emails from college...send me your questions and I'll answer theeeem!

NACHOMAN: what an awesome song

100: Well, I'm off to college. Happy 100th email everyone.

91-99: INSERT SCROLL BUTTON SONG HERE.

SKUB: Oh, come on! Even I was ingenious enough to write Coach Z email raps for all my Coach Z Emails. Which was like... eight.

90: Home...I'm scrollin' at home again...

CHWOKA: Honey I Scrolled The Kids</br>

86-89: Well, Shaymin sent me the SkyPod, Fang's joined us, could it get any better down here?

SKUB: Only if you get forest fire murdered!
CHWOKA: they can't trace a fire when you BURN ALL THE EVIDENCE

76-85: Blue skies, white sand,

CHWOKA: green grass, high tides
{pavlovian vomit orgy}

seizure-inducing arcade games, I'm down the shore!

71-75: Hoo! Hah! Huh! I'm back in white! Don't start a fight! Trust me everything's gonna be alright!

70: I'm going to the Wiki User Wiki. Meet me there!

SKUB: I'll go out of my way not to!

61-69: Aruseus Emails. Where there's smoke, they pinch back!

{we haven't even got to the emails and skub is already having a vomit seizure}
{NOT TRUE i'm only pissing all over my pants}
{im into that - bluby;)}

60: Ooh. Scrolling on Decemberween.

56-59: I love all my emails. I love scroll buttons more!

55: Gonna scroooooooll...check emails...and save the world.

51-54: Livin' large with scroll buttons...

50: Yay for 50 emails! This one's animated. {scrolls arrow over "demented"}

48: Woah! One email over Tampo!

46-47, 49: A-scrolla scrolla. Skuk-Skuh-Skuh-roll buttons.

45 1/2: Check-check-check it out! The E-Mach is here!

45: {sigh} Still trying to find one... {there is no computer, but a note with the email titles}

38-44: {rapping} Kids don't play wit 2 many scroll buttons! C'mon C'mon!

37: ARUSEUS EMAILS IS THE FCE WITH THE MOST EMAILS! WAH-HOH! Take THAT, NeoStinkoman!

SKUB: HEADLINE: NEOSTINKOMAN COMMITS SHOTGUN SUICIDE AFTER BEING SURPASSED IN AMOUNT OF EMAILS

34-36: Email is shweet! Email is awexome! So is scrolling too!

31-33: Yet again, another new compy.

26-30: ARGBLBLBLBLBL............email is cool.

NACHOMAN: please stop being alive

25: This scroll song goes out to my 25th email!

20-24: {The Intell 600 sits on the desk with a note saying, "Aruseus is on vacation. He has left Fang to run his show."}

• Wait 10 seconds and Foxx will walk by.

FOXX: {reads note} This cannot end well. {leaves}

14-19: Emails can be awesome, but some just aren't.

11-13: Ahahaha!!! A new computer! A new scroll button too!

9-10: *sigh* I'll miss you, Lappy 486!

6-9: Ooh. Scrolly...and buttony.

1-6: I don't have a sroll button, cuz I just STARTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

Page Titles

Lappy 486! (1-8)

Farewell, Lappy. (9)

BLUBY: pour one out for lost homies

T-Comp 400X!!! (10)

Lappy 486? Nope. (11)

Intell 600! (12-19) (24-29)

NightPilot Time! (191/2-23)

?!006 lletnI (30)

No more Intell, I'm afraid. (31)

A-Tech 950! (32-38) (41-44)

A-Tech 950 is a little broke now. (39)

A-Tech rides again! (40)

A-Tech 950!? Alpha Stan!? T-Comp 400X!? What's going on!? (45)

A-Tech 950 Replaced (451/2)

E-Mach 1000! (46-70)

The new age of Arumail! (71-84)

BLUBY: this is the dawning of the aaaaage of aquarius

Action 52 SUCKS! (85)

NACHOMAN: take a diarrhea dump in my ear am i right guys
SKUB: I'd rather have a lava dog take a diarrhea dump everywhere than read THESE emails

SkyPod! (86-?)

Emails and stuff!

Big emails, meaing ones with epic battles or serious stuff, are italicised.

NACHOMAN: i can only hope there's plenty of those
SKUB: Does it note how many buildings are smashed/how many pop starlets are TOTALLY KILLED BECAUSE THEYRE NOT AS GOOD AS FUCKIN AWESOME KORN

subject: Arumail.exe menu

Emails
Season 1: The Epic Beginning

1. variations
2. jlammy

SKUB: Oh get jackhammer fucked.

3. band
4. worst thing

NACHOMAN: oh look, it just links back to this page {burn}

5. catchphrase
6. blorf

SKUB: looks like aruseus is going to check his email... too bad all he'll be checking today is a load of BLAM!
SKUB: Yow

7. adventure
8. cereal
9. lappy's end???

SKUB: I give the next computer two emails tops.

10. jokes
11. shoe

BLUBY: shoe

12. video game
13. news progrum
14. nemesis
15. evil
16. triple mail!
17. aruseus of town
18. oddities
19. funny stuff

SKUB: I wonder if this link even works

20. Japanese cartoon

NACHOMAN: can't wait for this gem

21. blue feet
22. world's end
23. music video
24. death

{cheering is heard from all four riffers}

25. kyubii - pic included
26. crapmail
27. hatred of fang
28. movie
29. triple mail part deuce
30. virus

Season 2: Viruses Won't Stop The Aruman

SKUB: But A Crossbow Will

31. made-up letter
32. time machine
33. squids
34. The Legend of Kraxario: A Trip to 30X2

SKUB: Uncle Kraxario was okay but Follow Me gets old after a while

35. danestar
36. puppet show ideas
37. triple mail three
38. plates
39. different body
40. Pter Vs. Fang
41. coffee
42. movie critics

SKUB: HELLO IM THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEENWHEENWHEENWHEEN MY BABY VOICE IS ENDEARING AS SHIT

43. horror movies
44. triple mail four
45. Virus Reloaded
46. boredom
47. randomocity

{bluebry throws a pie in chwoka's face and chwoka licks it up with a very big tongue}
CHWOKA: mmm, almost as good as tacos!!

48. the 5th triplemail
49. Killer Riolu
50. demented <- download it to watch it.
51. summer plans

NACHOMAN: constant masturbation

52. bike theif
53. systems of gaming
54. school daze
55. ultimatum
56. inbox cleaning
57. slumber party times <- Badstar doin this one

SKUB: Oh fucking no
BLUBY: i bet they have pillow fights and compare bodies and kiss

58. movie night
59. pizza joint
60. decemberween TV
61. year of the wolf
62. triplet care
63. tahu
64. starring aruseus
65. Kilroy
66. Among the Brawlers

SKUB: i love smash bros brawl more than i love muscly dragons splitting themselves apart and god knows i love that

67. Many Questions, and a Long Email
68. I'll grab my stuff!
69. three emails for the sixth time
70. The Strike

Season 3: Ryan and the New Gang

71. IOU
72. yearbooks
73. robbery
74. end-of-spring cleaning
75. Battle For Your Soul
76. Fang's Email
77. summer 2008
78. life or death?
79. OBJECTION!
80. deoxys hunt

NACHOMAN: oh a pokemon crossover awesome cool fantastic

81. le show
82. dumb plans
83. It's A Football! I chisled it!

{okay i'm throwing up now i'm throwing up into the air it's a geyser and i swallow it again and i throw up for infinity}

84. pokemanz
85. action 52
86. girlfriend
87. Wolf's Pokemon
88. tragedies
89. Airman?

SKUB: I WONDER IF THIS MOTHERFUCKER CAN BEAT AIR MAN BECAUSE I HEARD AIR MAN IS UNSTOPPABLE EXCUSE ME, EIYA MAN GA TAOSENAI

90. homecoming
91. magic trickery
92. asian foods
93. questing
94. inbox cleaning 2
95. birthday
96. grandpa
97. Lucas' brother?!
98. Megaman
99. Guess what this is number seven
100.media

Season 4: Aruseus University

101.Back To School?!
102.summer camp
103.murder she wrote
104.murder she wrote 2: courtroom drama
105.murder she wrote 3: the return
106.gender swap

NACHOMAN: why

107.spring break
108.more effing questions
109.vore fest <- new

NACHOMAN: why

110.armageddon <- Oh {bleep}.

Not Quite Emails

19 1/2: vacation - Aruseus goes on vacation until after email 24 and entrusts Fang with his email show.
36 1/2: most emails - Aruseus' show becomes the show with the most emails!
45 1/2: new compy - Aruseus gets a new computer.
68 1/2: Brawling - Aruseus waits for SSBB.

NACHOMAN: sounds exciting!!!

74 1/2: Brawling 2 - Aruseus shows us some snapshots in Fan Costumes 'X6 Style.
105 1/2: Baby - The chops have been busted. The ripoff artist gets ripped off.

SKUB: i am the ourobouros of throwing up

107 1/2: armageddon preview - Get a look at the next upcoming email.

RINGER Music Vids NEW!

1. Programmed to Fight - Programmed to Fight is a song done by The Megas. It is a remake of the music of CrashMan's stage in MM2, with added words.

1. REDIRECT User:Lucian Summers/sig

Other Stuff

• Running Gags

Rock Opera of sorts

Includes some Not Quites and Bonus Emails.

subject: Rock opera in progress

How can't we surprise a date down Bluecubes error? Sweet carp! Watch

SKUB: ehp i'm dry i'm gonna stop by the snack cart

a potato kick me, untill I fall away! Robot friends Suudsu butt Laser bust. YEAH! Hear plans, Astromund, there obey floats Roundy-man. Father comedy sky-high drive kids fiery to kicking walls. Whatever horrific aerodynamic peas used brew forces to kill your BROTHA! Painful Chimp-icide choco-choco-chip! Best chewing be suckiest dish, Y'all! Algernon solo! BLEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRFFFFFF! Brawlers add ein Aura housebroken fairy. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? STARSTORM! Sorry. Bendy straw runner-up ponder. Ow! Oof! Orf! Skidoosh. WUT?! Mario flat bailed cookie... Parker! Dangerous landing Pokemon scares breath Mudkip method. EEP. Just beef purely gotten over trashed. YAHOO! Grizzled GREYSKULL! Doughnuts? HA!

SKUB: I'm back what did I miss

Okkusenman! Okkusenman!

{Skub erupts into a krakatoa, like literally he shoots lava everywhere}

Live on...right? Total sleuths! GOTCHA! Shinguard

STILL IN PROGRESS

Inbox

Want to email him?

NACHOMAN: you know it

Click here.