(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/Wiki User Email Zoo977/programs
Contents
About
CAST: Dot, Xaviar, Zoo, doodles of albino and zoo (easter egg), Yvonne, Zorax, Albino, Marissa, Nicholas, Wendy
SETTING: The deck, the suite
Transcript
{cuts to the deck of the boat. dot is looking through a telescope. xaviar is behind her}
XAVIAR: Face it, Dot! Zoo's gone!
REMOLAY: Yes, face it so that we may be free of this torture.
REMADIN: I'm sorry, I want even crappy love stories to have happy endings.
REMADIN: ONLY THE NOVELS!
REMOLAY: Remadin, did you like Twilight?
DOT: Just like Vinera is!
REMOLAY: Who?
REMADIN: I'm sure she appeared in maybe one earlier email, but yeah. Who?
XAVIAR: Oh, I know she's alive!
DOT: There!
XAVIAR: What did I tell you?
REMADIN: Never to be the first one to stick your hand in a viscous material.
REMOLAY: What?
REMADIN: I don't know. I never actually saw that movie.
DOT: A lie! {yelling} Stay calm! {grabs a life preserver. throws it into the water.}
REMOLAY:In the opposite direction as Zoo.
REMADIN: You're getting lazier in the ways you kill off Zoo, you know.
REMOLAY: Yeah, well we're also doing these later and later at night
XAVIAR: He's alive?
{the line on the life preserver tightens}
DOT: {grabbing the rope} Pull!
{Remolay fires a catapult}
REMADIN: How long has that been under your chair?
REMOLAY: Since episode one! Did you really think I'd be able to pass up this opportunity?
{xaviar pulls the rope with dot. the life preserver raises, revealing zoo on the preserver. his mouth is stuffed with sea shells}
DOT: Zoo! {runs up to zoo. the two hug}
XAVIAR: Blech. {throws a fish on the ground. zoo and dots eyes widen. they then begin kicking xaviar}
{Remadin stares in horror}
REMOLAY: Wh- What the hell... Did we just walk into a bad creepypasta?
What did I do?
DOT: What happened?
ZOO977: Wait, why aren't you angry?
REMADIN: Yes. completely ignore the senseless act of violence that even the self proclaimed king of senseless violence was confused by.
DOT: Albino told me what you were telling me! I realised you were
REMOLAY: Bribing him to keep it a secret! I pulled you up here to push you back in the water when sharks came near you bastard!
telling the truth!
ZOO977: Yay!
REMADIN: Zoo, how old were you when you wrote this again?
{cuts back to the suite. zoo, dot, and xaviar walk in.}
DOT: Well, I have to get some sleep for my birthday! Good night! {walks into her room.
REMOLAY: Zoo joins her.
REMADIN: Will you stop that. We're probably already on multiple watchlists for jokes like this already.
xaviar walks into his, as zoo sits in the bochee court. he opens the packy}
ZOO977: Sailing toward emails in three, two, one! {opens an email}
Dear Zoo,
When you opened this email, you let in a unstoppable virus!
Your computer is doomed no matter what!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHE!
Evilly yours,
The Virus
REMOLAY:Hooray!
ZOO977: {laughs} A doomed computer?!? That was part of the hacking! Not to mention the Y ware {holds up a discette with yvonne on it} I installed actually helps the programming!
REMOLAY: So you installed software that facilitates viruses...
REMADIN: I see absolutely no flaw with this plan.
ALBINO: {only heard} Okay, bring in the balloons!
ZOO977: What?
{a zoom out shows zorax and albino putting up some balloons.}
ZOO977: What are you doing?
ZORAX: Putting up balloons!
REMADIN: And this has to do with the email because...
ZOO977: Be sure to use some super helium, and put trinkets in them.
REMADIN: Ah, of course. Total bullshit. Carry on.
ZORAX: Ok?
ZOO977: {returning to typing} Anyways, I think your virus needs to have a checkup. Look at some of the programs on my computer!
{cuts to a view of fireworks}
ZOO977: First off, theres Fireworks CS4. While it's a very advanced graphics program
{Remadin and Remolay laugh uncontrollably}
REMADIN: That was the best joke I've ever read. Thank you Zoo. Thank you very much
, it actually makes omputers more vulnerable to virus's.
REMADIN: More vulenrable to virus's what?
REMOLAY: Sounds like his computer is safe though.
{cut to a view of the newer microsoft word, xcel, and powerpoint.}
ZOO977: And then there's the newest version of Word, Excel, and Powerpoint! While they are {the sound of gwen from total drama island is heard faintly}
REMOLAY: I give exactly no shits who Gwen is or what Total Drama Island is.
REMADIN: It's an inexplicably popular Canadian cartoon show that's actually complete garbage.
REMADIN: Oy. I liked ReBoot.
REMOLAY: Oh, like ReBoot.
nice programs, they're just another door key. Wait, whats that?
{cuts to the suite view. albino is watching Total Drama Island.}
ZOO977: Albino, what are you doing?
REMADIN: Watching crap
ALBINO: I dunno.
REMOLAY: LIAR! Throw him in the pit of eternal late fees!
ZOO977: Weren't you just putting up birthday decorations?
ALBINO: Everythings up.
{zoo looks around. tons of decorations are on the walls}
ZOO977: I'm not even gonna ask.
</blockquote>REMADIN: I don't get it. I just don't get it. Is this what Zoo thought a joke was?</blockquote>
{cuts to a view of Flash.}
ZOO977: Ah, good old flash.
REMADIN: Good ol' clunky ol' works-only-a-fraction-of-the-time ol' flash
Truthfully, it's like a sponge collecting virus's!
REMOLAY: My knowledge of computers outside of hyper-violent video games may be extremely limited, but I'm pretty sure viruses don't work that way.
REMADIN: Why isn't the plural of virus "viri"?
{cuts back to the normal view}
ZOO977: And then there's Y wear. It hs bugs built in so that you have to go out and buy the next version, with more bugs, and a higher price!
REMADIN: Every Adobe product.
I bought stock, and boy, am I raking in money! Well, it's almost morning. {sends the email, closes the laptop.}
{cuts to the next morning. dot opens the door to her room. she walks out, and yawns.}
EVERYONE BUT XAVIAR AND DOT: Happy birthday!
DOT: Yay!
{the kids begin going insane as the scrreen fades to black.}
REMADIN: Well that was an incredibly underwhelming ending.
REMOLAY: I like the added insanity at the end though
| o |
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| Email Zoo |
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Easter Eggs
Click on the telescope to see Dot looking at the railings on the boat
Click on dot when she mentions albino to see a badly drawn comic. the first frame has him talking. the next has them wearing suits. the remaining frames are all worn out.
REMOLAY: Worst. Easter Eggs. Ever.
Fun facts
- Dots birthday has been mentioned for the last few emails.
- The virus's built in is a refference to the comic Foxtrot.
- Gwen from Total Drama Island is heard.
- Zoo has every program mentioned but Y wear.
REMOLAY: I'm going to punch these fun facts in the face until they are fun.
REMADIN: Go ahead. I'm not going to stop you this time
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The wierdo's revealed |
