(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/Wiki User Email Zoo977/hell
REMADIN: 3...
Contents
About
CAST: Zoo977, Dot, Albino, LArry, a devil, various tortured people, Satan
REMOLAY: Tell him I said "sup"
SETTING: The cruise ship, The pool room, A travel agency, Hell, A resturaunt
Trancript
{cuts to the dock, with the cruise ship there. everyone is getting off with their luggage. cuts to the pool room. zoo is on the table, with the packy}
ZOO977: {To the tune of the spongbob square pants theme} Zoo nine se-ven! Se-ven e-mails! {opens an email}
REMOLAY:Holy shit
REMADIN: I know... Something we actually get. It's a festivus miracle.
REMOLAY: It's September
Dear Zoo,
I can't escape this hell
REMOLAY: Oh my...So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
{Remolay rocks out}So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
From,
Three Days Grace
REMOLAY: Whew, my favorite email yet and he hasn't even answered it yet.
ZOO977: Um, I know nothing about taming animals,
REMADIN: Swing and a miss.
but I know how to go to hell! You see, I won four anytime passes to hell from a Kroger contest!
{Remolay runs out of the room}
REMADIN: Where do you think you're going?
REMOLAY: God dammit... {walks back into the room}
REMOLAY: Kroger!
REMADIN: That contest ended a long time ago!
DOT: Wait, a trip to hell?
ZOO977: Well, why not?
ALBINO: Thats where Larry's from!
REMOLAY: I knew there was a reason I liked this guy
DOT: Um.... I was thinking of bringing him along!
REMOLAY: Dot, is there something you'd like to say to your boyfriend? Like that you're a cheating whore?
ZOO977: Ok!
REMADIN: Woah really?
{dot walks out} Albino, pack plenty of pepper spray.
REMADIN: Ah, that's more like I expected.
{cuts to a travel agency. dot, zoo, albino, and larry are walking past some elevators}
ALBINO: How will we know which one is right?
REMOLAY: I don't think this is how this works. I had to die.
REMADIN: Well there also shouldn't possibly be these things on a cruise ship
{one elevator by them is red and on fire. screaming comes from inside of it, and blood leaks under the bottom of it.}
ZOO977: Like that. {the kids get in}
{cuts to a view of hell. an elevator falls. the kids get out}
LARRY: Woah. Cool place.
REMOLAY: Agreed.
DOT: So... which door is for the tour guides?
REMOLAY: Last I check, Ol' Horny himself does them.
ZOO977: Maybe the door marked tours, next to a billion with actual hell.
REMADIN: What the actual hell. I didn't see those when I was there.
REMOLAY: You didn't have tickets.
LARRY: Ok!
{the kids walk up to a door with a devil in front of it}
DEVIL: I will sadly be your tour guide for the day.
REMOLAY: Told you.
ALBINO: Whats so bad about having to wear a plaid-polka-dot pink shirt around with a parka and coat in a sweltering enviroment?
DEVIL: Exactly.
REMADIN: I don't get it.
{cuts to a view of many pits filled with magma. people are being dnjked head first in them}
DOT: That looks like torture!
REMOLAY: All together now...
REMOLAY AND REMADIN TOGETHER: No shit!
DEVIL: IF you think thats bad, we'll skip the barber shop.
{cuts to a view of many people being hanged. they are being put into a machine.}
REMOLAY: Oh man, the tour is even better the second time. Get to the ironic punishment room soon. please?
DEEVIL:
REMOLAY: Who?
This is our meat section of the deli. {points at some tortured cows} And there's the cheese.
ZOO977: I don't think that head cheese really is cheese.
REMADIN:All together now... No shit!
REMOLAY: what?
REMADIN: Head cheese is meat.
DEVIL: Moving on.
{cuts to another room. many people are screaming. a record is playing}
DEVIL: This is a special kind of torture suggested from {looks at a note card} Larry Winner.
LARRY: Thats me!
DEVIL: Well, the polka tortures working well.
REMADIN: What's wrong with polka?
{Pcuts to a pit of lava. king, queens, and other rulars are swimming in it. satan is on a mini island around it}
DEVIL: And here is satans quarters. He tortured the self obsessed rulers here.
ALBINO: So, 99% of them?
DEVIL: Precicly.
{cuts to a resturaunt.}
REMADIN: What is a spellchecker!
DOT: That was a cool tour!
LARRY: Yep. Hey, waiter! Where are our menues?
{a devil hands them a menu. they look at it}
ZOO977: Why am I on this?
REMOLAY: waiter? I'll take the zoo, please.
{cuts bak to the pool room}
ZOO977: In closing, it's fun to watch people being tortured by polka!
REMOLAY: Indeed it is.
REMADIN: What's wrong with Polka?
| o |
| Click here to |
| Email Zoo |
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Easter Eggs
Click on he mnu to see "Hardhat souflee - $5.50"
Fun Facts
- Kroger is the grocery store zoo goes to.
REMOLAY: Who the hell cares?
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The wierdo's revealed |
