(even if you aren't vegan)
RiffText/Wiki User Email Zoo977/cooking
Contents
About
CAST: Zoo977, Yvonne
REMOLAY: This should be short.
REMADIN: This should be... interesting?
SETTING: Zoo's suite room, the suite kitchen
Transcript
{cuts to zoo's suite room}
ZOO977: {singing to the tune of bidi bom} E-e-e-mail e-e-e-e-e-e-ma-ail! {opens an email.}
REMOLAY: You know what? I give up.
Yo.
Do you like waffles?
REMADIN: Yeah I like waffles.I sure do!
Bai!
-LD
ZOO977: Ah, waffles. To me, its the funnel that parents feed the brocolli through.
REMADIN: What's wrong with Broccoli?
Truthfully, I HATE waffles,
REMOLAY: Kill! Kill the blasphemer!
lardy. But, Yvonne can fill you in with a great cookie recipe
{Remadin gets out a pencil and paper}
that will wash out the nasty flavor of waffles!
{cuts to the kitchen. yvonne is there in a chefs hat}
REMOLAY: Welcome back to Cooking Without Looking, where we teach you to make food with hazardous household materials
YVONNE: Hi, folks! I have a few recipes here to show you.
REMOLAY: Only one was advertised and I demand only one recipe!
First off, theres the-
{there is a zoom in on a tray. all of these swirly ccookies are on it, with red seperating the swirls}
REMOLAY: May your cookies run red with the blood of your enemies
YVONNE: -cinnamon pinwheel cookies.
{zooms back out}
YVONNE: first off, combind 1 cup of butter with 1 1/2 cups of flour with a blender.
REMOLAY: This is suddenly my favorite recipe ever.
stir this in 1/2 a cup of sourcream.
REMADIN: As disgusting as this sounds, it's probably about right.
fridgify this for 8 hours. {puts the mixture in a fridge} Lucky for you, zorax hacked into the camera system. Now, you don't have to watch me stand here for 8 hours!
REMOLAY: Oh I hope to Valkyre that's not how it works.
{the screen fades to black for a second. it then unfades}
REMADIN: No, I'm pretty sure that's sill a fade
YVONNE: You will need plenty of butter, all purpous flour,
REMADIN: At least it's better than all porpoise flour
sour cream,, sugar, cinnamon, and water. First off, mix 3 tablespoons of sugar and and one table spoon of ground cinnamon. {puts some sugar and less cinnamon into a bag. she shakes it vigorously.} You can also make buttered toast and sprinkle this mixture on it!
REMADIN: What scares me is that this actually sounds like a good recipe and I'm tempted to try it
{the screen shifts to zoo holding a plate with toast. it has some tan stuff on it. pans back}
YVONNE: Sprinkle some flour onto your counter
REMADIN: And ruin my perfectly good counter? I think not!
or cutting board. Like other cook show host, I already have done that. now, take half of the mixture, and flatten it into about a 20 by 7 inch rectangle. pour on half of the cinnamon sugar. {puts a rectangle of dough on the floured counter, begins putting on some of the cinnamon mixture.} Now, marissa and nicholas devised this recipe, so don't ask why we dont use it all at once.
REMOLAY: I don't ask that about any recipe
Now, you roll it up. Because I get rally aggrivated
REMOLAY: I get them aggravated too, You don't see me gloating about it.
when doing this, we will skip some more.
{the screen fades to a new view. yvonne is in front of an uncooked roll, the swirls seperated by red}
YVONNE: Now, before rolling, I forgot to mention you roll frok mthe
REMADIN: This one just hurts. I don't want to see another spelling mistake for the next 5 lines.
7 inch end instead of the 20 inch end. Now, do the exact sme
{Remadin storms out of the room screaming}
thing!
{it fades to the same view, but with two rolls}
YVONNE: Wrap these up tightly in plastic wrap, and fridgitize them. {wraps up the rolls, puts them in the fridge.} Now, while you are not watching. I will be doing this. {begins bouncing in the air, with her elbows at ninety degree angles. she raises one as she lowers the other, does the opposite, and repeats} Do-sha do-sha do-sha do-sha!
REMOLAY: Maybe I'm just tired, But this is really funny to me.
{it fades again to the kitchen. the rolls are on the table. yvonne is behind the rolls.}
YVONNE: Chop these into 1/4 inch slices. {begins chopping the rolls quickly} While you do this, pre set the oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit. {begins pressing buttons on the stove with her shoes. by now, the rolls are completely chopped up.} Put them about two inches apart on a cookie tray with parchment paper, and put them in the oven. bake them until they are golden brown. this is normally 20-25 minutes.
REMOLAY: There wasn't enough to riff here! This is a genuinely good recipe for Cinnamon cookies!
{cuts back to the suite room}
ZOO977: Isn't that a good recipe? Or were you too busy torchering your taste buds
REMOLAY: That only happens when I drink coffee
with waffles to make the recipe. Now, I need to make some finishing plans for dots birthday.
REMOLAY: Can't forget the male stripper.
REMADIN: {from far away} Dude, She's like 11!
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Easter Eggs
Click on the rolls at any point in the email to change them to purple. This applies for the cinnamon toast, too.
Fun Facts
- this recipe is from the 1984 Betty Crocker cookie book.
- Zoo has made this recipe in real life. He approves of this.
- Zoo also enjoys some cinnamon toast. Make that, too.
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The wierdo's revealed |
