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RiffText/Wiki User Email Zoo977/atlantis

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About

CAST: Zoo977, American red cross workers, Dot, Raggoneal
SETTING: The ocean, an American Red Cross ship, Atlantis

Transcript

{cuts back to the ocean. it is nighttime. zoo is jittering on the packy}

ZOO977: Well, time for drastic measures.

REMOLAY: Eat the packy. eat the packy. eat the packy.

UNSEEN MAN: This is the american Red Cross. Please stay calm.

REMOLAY: God dammit.

REMADIN: Hooray! The day is saved!
REMOLAY: What is wrong with you, man?

REMADIN: I can enjoy a storyline even if it's poorly written. Mind you not this storyline, but I can pretend.

{a boat comes in, and picks up zoo on a boat. they direct him o another room. cuts to the orange room on the ship. zoo is in there, shivering}

ZOO977: Time to check my email, I guess. {opens an email}

REMADIN: I just realized something. These are a lot like Linkara's reviews, except not the least bit interesting.

Dear Zoo,
Have you ever been to Alantis?
They turn you into sea-animals!
HELP!
Raiphin, Raggoles, Raggoneal, and Megaphin (Raiku, Raggon, Raggonix, and Megan)

ZOO977: I would go and help, but I have bigger issues on hand. I need to get back to my friends!

REMADIN: People need to be rescued from Atlantis, but my friends who are in no danger at all are much more important!
REMOLAY: Wow. That's positively cruel. I commend you, Zoo. For once in my life I am proud of you. Now don't fuck it up.

{opens a map on his computer. he begins drawing a path} This is where the cruise ship started. it went alll the way over here. It should be taking a new path now. draws a map.}

REMOLAY: GOD DAMMIT ZOO!

{a man walks in wearing a red cross uniform}

MAN: Is everything alright?

REMADIN: No! There are people trapped in some evil form of Atlantis, and Zoo can't format or write to save his life!

REMOLAY: Well I'm sure he's improved since then...

REMADIN: And now we have one big question. Why the hell have our roles switched for bit only!

ZOO977: I ned

REMOLAY: No. No, you Zoo. Dumbass.
REMADIN: Hey-diddly-ey there, Neighborino.

to get back to my cruise ship.

MAN: We have no way of finding where it is.

ZOO977: So our best hope is to go to where it ends. {draws a path}

MAN: Sir, that leads through {gulps} Miami and Bermuda.

REMOLAY: Pussy.

ZOO977: What do you have againsed them.

MAN: Never mind. {yelling} Sudden route change! Go straight for West narry, Oralina!

REMADIN: Sign me up for soccer class, Debra.

{leaves the room}

ZOO977: I might as well call the ship. {opens his cell phone, dials something. a split screen shows dot holding the phone on the other line}

REMADIN: Because I wouldn't dare ruin a corny stupid love story, the next several lines will go unriffed {Remolay opens his mouth to speak} Shut up, you.

DOT: Hello?

ZOO977: Hi, Dot.

DOT: Let me know: why are you cheating on me?

ZOO977: What do you mean?

DOT: I saw your email! You still aren't back.

ZOO977: But you don't understand! I wouldn't go out with someone else!

DOT: Then whats the true story?

ZOO977: I was diving with albino, an-

DOT: The cruise ship doesn't sell diving suits!

ZOO977: You can go to the store!

DOT: Look, you broke my heart before my birthday. I don't wan't to continue this conversation.

ZOO977: Can you at least go to the ship store?

DOT: Fine. {hands up. the split screen closes}

ZOO977: {bows his head} I just hope she understands.

{suddenly, the ship shakes. everyting seems to be tilting, except zoo}

ZOO977: Now what just happened? {put his stuff in his backpack. leaves the room. cuts to the deck. the sky is stormy. some workers are on the deck. zoo walks in} Whats happening?

WOMAN: We're going out of controle! We need to evacuate!

REMOLAY: Iceberg ahead!

ZOO977: How? We dont have life boats!

REMADIN: Really? A red cross ship has no life boats. That's just shitty planning right there.

WOMAN: Thats the problem.

{suddenly, the boat begins turning}

ZOO977: WHIRL POOL!

{the ship sinks into the water cuts to under water. zoo s in a drowning phase. suddenly, he begins breathing properly}

ZOO977: Whats happening?

{a new camera view shows that the city of atlantis is below him}

REMADIN: Insert amazing music here

ZOO977 A-a-atlantis?

{cuts ot the entrance of atlantis. raggoneal swims in}

RAGGONEAL: Good thing you're here! We've mutated drastically!

ZOO977: I'll help you if you help me.

RAGGONEAL: With what?

ZOO977: Did you see a cruise ship go by?

RAGGONEAL: Yes. It was going {points to the right} that way!

ZOO977: Thanks! {swims off}

RAGGONEAL: Wait! Won't you help us?

ZOO977: I need to make the formula on dry land! {swism off}

REMOLAY: And they were never heard of again.
o
Click here to
Email Zoo
o

ZOO977: {points his head ion} Awesome ocean theme! {begins swimming off}

Easter Eggs

Click on raggoneal at the end to make him eat a cormer of the paper. You can only do this once.

Fun Facts

  • Miami and Bermuda are two of the three islands making the bermuda triangle.
REMADIN: Fun Fact(TM): Miami isn't an island.
  • The American Red Cross is a corporation for american health.
  • Most of this email has a shoe in reference to Wiki User Atlantis.