Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/psychic

Overview

Uh, err, um, ROOFTOP CHASE'D!

Cast (in order of appearance): A Toad, John T. Meyertoad II, Female Toad, Goobeck, ???, Markie, Ackellnats, Macro Siren Troop, Macro Siren Generals, Queen Rose Maro, Eddy Toad, Jimmy Toad, Homestar Runner, King Apple Maro

Page Title: Achilles Heel (Protega OMG!!!)

Transcript

{Open up to a wrecked subway tunnel. Flaming piles of rubble are everywhere. One Toad is running around as he comes on-screen, screaming at the top of his lungs as he is on fire, then finally collapses. Cut to outside the subway tunnel. We have a glimpse of the subway entrance, then a Toad with a swat helmet walks on-screen with “POLICE INVESTIATION – DO NOT CROSS” tape. We pan right to see a Toad with a stout moustache and a black trenchcoat talking to a female Toad curled up in a blanket, her face pale to accommodate the shivering.}

JOHN T. MEYERTOAD II: And so what do you think happened?

FEMALE TOAD: Well, I-I-th-thought that the road we-we hit was under construction…and then…I blanked out.

JOHN II: Interesting. Goobeck!

{A goomba with a steel blue fedora walks on-screen.}

GOOBECK: Say what, Mr. Meyertoad?

JOHN II: It appears we have three causes of what caused the crash. One, we have claims of engine failures, two, there might’ve been repairs under construction, and three…{holds up a Ziploc bag containing an all-too-familiar Bowler Hat}…this hat.

GOOBECK: Mr. Meyertoad, I doubt that I can see that this hat will cause any trouble. The train might’ve ripped it into three or four by the time-

JOHN II: Save it for when we take the case to court, Goobeck.

{Pan right even more as we look at a dark alley. The silhouette appears, then vanishes.}

{Cut to the front doors of the Macro Siren Bread Army HQ. They swing open, and Markie runs out with the Bluey OS 289 under his armpit.}

MARKIE: Alright, I’m out of this joint. Now to, uh, try to find shelter. {runs off-screen.}

{Cut to a billboard sign covered in dust that says “ERGONOMIC CHAIR HOTEL”. Winds blow the excess dust off, and it says “HAH, WE FOOLED YOU USING DUST AND NOW WE’RE TRICKING YOU INTO STAYING INTO AN ERGONOMIC CHAIR BASED HOTEL SLAVE HEADQUARTERS”. Cut to inside the…thing. Markie approaches a heavily damaged front counter and rings the bell, which gives off a slight rusty shedding each tap.}

MARKIE: Hello? Customer service? I need to rent a room for the night.

{Suddenly a Yoshi with red angel wings flies through the ceiling and lands on the space near the counter.}

???: Ah, a customer. Welcome to the overly-complicated-hotel-name shelter.

MARKIE: Correction, it’s supposed to be-

???: We get this everytime, so shut up.

MARKIE: …that’s not really what I had in mind when I thought about customer service.

???: Ah, but there is more to it than meets the eye. I am the counterman named Ackellnats.

MARKIE: “Ackellnats”? Shouldn’t your name be, like Aeroshi, or Hydroshi, or Pyroshi, or Cryoshi? Or Astroshi? Or maybe even-

ACKELLNATS: Please. It’s hard to explain. Now if you want to know where your room is, go up to that elevator {brief glimpse of a warp pad emitting blue light} and go to Floor 3, room 309. Thank you and have a nice day. {vanishes}

MARKIE: {jaw is wide open, in disbelief} Huminah-huminah-huminah-huminah…{slowly walks off-screen}

{Cut to a completely dark room. A door is kicked open, and Markie enters. He flips the lightswitch next to him, and it reveals Victorian wallpaper, a comfy Queen-sized bed, a widescreen TV, and a small door leading to the bathroom.}

MARKIE: Alright, so this is where my room is. {sits down on bed} And now…to check…on going for a walk to clear all this conspiracy up. I wonder why the night has taken a long span of time. It’s like 2 AM in the morning…I haven’t slept a bit…so I’ll just try to drink some decaf and hullabaloo outta here. {gets up and leaves}

{We cut to a courtyard just outside the hotel. There is an inoperational water fountain in the middle of the brick-patented surface, and shrubbery surrounds the arches and the grass. Markie walks on-screen, humming a tune.}

MARKIE: {singing} Na, na na na na na na, na na Katamari Damashii. Choo choo choo choo, na, na na na na na na, na na this song gets old really quickly, choo choo choo crap, na, na na na na Al Capone, Le Katamari Something Sheep…

{Rustling noises. Markie stops.}

MARKIE: What was that?

{Faint awkward cry.}

MARKIE: …this is going to be one of those times I say double-you-tee-eff.

{Pan to the rooftops of the courtyard. The same midgety silhouette appears.}

???: AaAaAaAaAaA!!!

{It wobbles off-screen. Markie jumps on the rooftop, armed with his Ion Blade.}

MARKIE: Crap, he got away. {runs off-screen}

{Cut to Markie’s hotel room. Unexpectedly, Ackellnats flies through the ceiling/floor and hovers in the air.}

ACKELLNATS: Okay, that wasn’t supposed to happen. {looks at Bluey} Hey, what’s this? {sits down with Bluey on his lap} A laptop. These things come in cheap for 100 coins. Alright, so now to operate this crap…{types in “c://run desktop”, Markie’s desktop comes up, it is consisted of blue wallpaper, Firefox Bluey ‘Dition, and an Email icon labeled “M&BBMail, guys”. Ackellnats moves the mouse cursor to “M&BBMail, guys”, and double-clicks it.}

Dear Markie,

Does you have psycic powers?
If so, join my club.

-thatkidsam

{reads “Markie” as “Ackellnats” and “psycic” as “sidekick”}

ACKELLNATS: Thatkidsam, huh? So much for lack of originality. {presses enter, and slowly speaks and types} Seeing as if…I do possess such powers…I certainly might join your club. I should probably do a demonstration for all you people who are not familiar with this hotel. You see, uh, I can manipulate gravity…

{Ackellnats jumps up and hovers in the air. He flicks both of his wrists and everything is floating in the air. After a few seconds, he lands on the ground, along with everything in a clutter.}

ACKELLNATS: {continues typing and speaking} Ooh! And I also have the power to manipulate others to do my bidding. For example, {a sheet of binder paper covers the screen} this is me. {bad drawing of Ackellnats with annotation “TEH ACKINGNESS” appears} Annnnnnnnnd…this is a rich guy. {bad drawing of a fat Goomba with the annotation “TEH FATTYNESS” appears next to Ackellnats’ bad drawing} I simply just flick my fingers {Ackellnats flicks his fingers and the fat Goomba now has swirly eyes} and he gives me all his money. {lots of badly drawn gold coins pour out from the Fat Goomba’s…head. It slumps dead, and Ackellnats does a badly choreographed dance.} And so ends my badly drawn comic. {the binder paper burns up, and we reveal Ackellnats holding a Volkswagen lighter. He deactivates it and throws it off-screen.} Alright, so, there you have it. I bet that Blue Yoshi, I mean, idiot, doesn’t possess these powers. Well I say YOU SUCK to him. Now I will go and-

{Door knocks.}

MACRO SIREN TROOP: {from other end} Hello? I would like to inspect this room.

ACKELLNATS: Ugh. Who is this?

MACRO SIREN TROOP: Um, your mom! {shove} Ow! I mean, cleaning crew!

ACKELLNATS: Well, my name is John Linux. Now get the crap out of here before I sue the authorities.

{The door is kicked down, and the Macro Siren Troop enters, with two Macro Siren Generals at his side. The three are carrying bread launchers, bazookas with tuna subs in them.}

MACRO SIREN TROOP: There’s the snitch, boys! Sick him!

ACKELLNATS: But, but-

{Bang. Everything turns to black.}

Alright, so what happened to the Queen?

{Cut to inside a hoverambulance. Queen Rose is lying idly on a stretcher, with all kinds of technology surrounding her. Eddy and Jimmy Toad are at her sides, frantically worrying. Homestar is snoring against the front seats.}

EDDY TOAD: Is the queen going to be alright?

JIMMY TOAD: The king is going to kill us if she dies.

VOICE FROM FRONT SEATS: I already did.

{The driver turns his head around to reveal himself as King Apple Maro.}

EDDY TOAD: OH MY GOD!!! HE’S GOING TO KILL ME! RUN!!!

{Silence.}

KING APPLE MARO: Calm down, Eddy, I won’t kill you. Blame it on those people who tried to kill her. If he kills her, I swear…

{Silence again.}

KING APPLE MARO: Ugh, the second night that Yoshi came here. I wonder how he’s doing.

{Cut to a entourage of rooftops. Markie is leaping and crawling among the concrete surfaces, hopping over littered alleys and scissor-kicking over idle hovercrafts. The silhouette is somehow jumping head-first over the alleys.}

MARKIE: Come back, silhouette! Come back…silhouette’s…brother!

???: AaAaAaAaAaA!!! No more scandals for thy!

MARKIE: {skids to a halt} Whoa, whoa, wait a minute…this guy? I was chasing HOMSAR all along?!

HOMSAR: DaAaAaAaAaA!!! Run like the windbreakers, Target! {continues “wobbling”}

MARKIE: {sprints} TEH GASPINGNESS!!! WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee…{runs off-screen}

{The new hologram projector comes down. It reads "Finally, no more disorganization! - Email Markie at [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the moon in the background when the email ends to bring up...

30TH EMAIL SPECIAL

I feel warm and fuzzy inside.
So long and thanks for not all the 25th sysopness,

MC MARS KAY

• • Clicking on "30TH EMAIL SPECIAL" will bring up a butter cake. Click on it to add toppings like Black and Orange sprinkes, Chocolate Icing, Eggwash, Croutons, and the iced words "HAPPY 30TH HALLOWEEN".
  • Clicking on "fuzzy" will load an .mp3 file on a rant about the cult hit Ratchet and Clank.
  • Click on "25th" to be redirected to Great Moments in History.

Fun Facts

Trivia

• Ackellnats' design comes from a Yoshi named Foshi Koopa. Don't tell him I said that.
• Foreshadowing effects on name are used to cover up something sinister.
  • However, in this email, the title of the hotel does not really live up to its name.

Explanations

• The reason I put Homsar as the cause of the train crash (which should be obvious) is because, um, he is like immortality incarnate. And his hat.
• I need to make the segments longer with Homestar Runner in it.

Remarks

• Markie is apparently "grounded" during the making of this email because of some lousy B.

Real-World References

• The binder paper part is inspired by Ekersby's email, History.
• "Run like the windbreakers, Target!"
  • Target is a chain of...all-around...sales, in which my dad works in, and the quote itself comes from Toy Story 2.
• Linux is some operational...thingy. That's all you need to know.
• The name of the hotel comes from Emotional Distress.

KING APPLE MARO: Say, I wonder where we left BurninatorBoombox...

{Cut to what appears to be Space Court.}

SPESHDIV ROBOT: Space Court finds in favor of BurninatorBoombox for the sum of two million coins! {plunger is pounded on podium, heh, tongue twister}

KOZANTIERO: {raises fist in air} Yeah! No, wait-

{Cut to inside the Macro Siren Bread Army HQ. Kozantiero and BurninatorBoombox are in the control room. BurninatorBoombox has apple sauce all over him.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: So now who's the rich one?

KOZANTIERO: {sigh} Well, you win...for the first time. There goes my Surface-to-air funds...

{Cut, BurninatorBoombox has disappeared, replaced with Lower Mans}

KOZANTIERO: Humina-wha?!

LOWER MANS: Dude. We have things to discuss. Very importanté things to discuss.

KOZANTIERO: Like frisbee?

LOWER MANS: I will kill you for mentioning it.

{The new hologram projector comes down. It reads "Finally, no more disorganization! - Email Markie at [email protected]".}