Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/hat

Overview

Markie refurbishes his compy, and he gets something on hats.

Cast (in order of appearance): Markie, BurninatorBoombox, Mario, Luigi

Page Title: Copyright Viacom...NOT!

Transcript

{Open up to Markie walking in to the treehouse, carrying what seems to be a replica of the Bluey OS 289. IT IS. NOT.}

MARKIE: Heeeeeeeeeere's MARKIE!

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {strolling on-screen with tank wheels} What the?! What's up with you?

MARKIE: Well, I decided to REVITALIZEFURBISH my Bluey so that it can become...

{extreme close-up of brighter Bluey OS 289}

...THE BLUEY OS 289 DIRECTOR'S CUT!!!

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {normal camera shot} Eh, what?

MARKIE: You know, Director's Cut. I figured that the Special Edition version was SO cliché and so I decided to change the way people answer e-mails. FOREVUUUUUUUR.

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Oh, I see. So when are you-

MARKIE: Right NOW! {abruptly sits on chair, camera switches to first person view of Markie. He flips open the monitor. The Bluey OS 289 boot-up screen is shown on the monitor.} Yaaaaaaaaaaaay. {Windows XP-esque monitor pops up. One of the accounts is Markie, with a Luigi avatar. Markie clicks on it} Alright, now time to get on the desktop! {monitor switches to desktop, the same treehouse wallpaper. The icons available on-screen are 'Firefox', 'NA B.E.', and 'Markie_email_inbox'. The mouse cursor, a floppy disk, rolls over the Markie_email_inbox icon and clicks it. The following e-mail pops up:}

jytkwhiyhbxsjfgtrdmkrhtdgjrtfcjkfbgvm

kgkxdyhgtdm,ygjkchtgjkdrdunvtjdrkygti
gvjxhngvfjxkhvnkfjnhcknkxdjhbgjkxhnhd
kyhfytxkxyvbgjkxhvbjkdbkdhnvkvlxbvkxu
dogdhbluhblcbjkftubhyirlbvnkfbnldfnbt

jtkvbgdjkfbyvgvkxvhnviuksnvkdjnvdkhnd

MARKIE: {reads it as 'jitak why hoboxes jaf get road dreammaker hot dog jartifycajik fabig vroom kagik ecksady hogtdem, yeegjackchat gajkdreed unvent jaydork yaggiti, gavjax hung vafjax khavnunk fajjin hacknack ecksdeejay habigerjik'} What is this bullcrap? COMMANDER!

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {off-screen} What? A virus?

MARKIE: It's bullcrap, ya bullcrap. Crapbull. Brapcull. Bralculp. Pluclarb.

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {off-screen} Whatever.

MARKIE: Looks like it's-a time to pull off a Kilroy underscore e-mail dot e ecks e...DEFLEETXOR!!! {types in 'C://Markie/Defleetxor_V1_9', presses enter}

DEFLEETXOR V1.9

Component to the Norton Antivirus Bluey 'dition

• Delete
  
• Scan
  
• Decode
  
• All of the above (recommended)

MARKIE: Well, Defleetxor, let's do all of the above and hopefully not meet a tragic end! {types in 'Aota', presses enter}

It's a decoded viral e-mail, you blatant insult of a fool.
Here ye goes:

Dear Markie,

Mind Joel, he doesn't get the concept
that you are a yoshi. Where did you
get your hat. I really want one. You
and Mario make it look so good!

-witchesbrew82.

MARKIE: {pronounces 'witchesbrew82' as 'Warner Brothers Eighty-two'} Oh, the Warner Brothers e-mailed me. I have problems. {presses enter, starts typing} My hat, eh? Um...to tell you the truth, I just got my hat two or three years ago. Use your imagination to show how I did. Actually, don't. Because what you're about to see today might shock you and revitalize your 2 million neurons in your brain juice! Rated R for nothing whatsoever. Actually PG, but what the hey. ROLL TAPE!

{cut to a video-quality screen.}

Mario Bros. Pipe Realm Presents

Not sponsored by a Yoshi

THE STORY BEHIND THE TRUE STORY
BEHIND THE FALSE STORY OF THE TRUELY FALSE STORY
THAT IS BEHIND THE FALSELY FALSE STORY BEHIND
MARKIE'S TOOL HAT...TOO?

Copyright 2004 MBPR Inc. and Ridgentian Studios

{Fade in to the Mario Bros. House bedroom from 'Superstar Saga'. Mario is sleeping in his bed in his blue pajamas.}

MARIO: {snore} Pasta alfredo...feta cheese...no parmesan...{suddenly wakes up, red-eyed} CRANBERRY CYAN TARTS!!! Oh. Phew. It-a was only a dream. {extreme close up of nose} OR IS IT?!

LUIGI: {cut to him waking up in his own bed next to Mario's in his green pajamas} Mario, why is it that you always have to butt in to my conscience at FOUR A.M.?!

MARIO: Because it's time for the "Early Late Comedian Show of No Return"?

LUIGI: Not that! I mean...ergh...why do you disturb my sleep?

MARIO: Because...no sentence starts with because. Now I'm gonna sew something for no reason. And...I don't know. {zooms off in red streak}

LUIGI: You know what that means, folks. More early bird sitcoms for me! {brandishes remote}

{Cut to Mario in his top-floor attic. The room is wood brown, full of cardboard boxes, a few cans of beer, and a short hat rack. Mario is rummaging through an oaken chest. We can see a few novelty hats randomized in Flash by actionscript commands. After a few seconds, Mario finally pulls out a baseball cap renedition of his hat in all its glory.}

MARIO: Ah! Here it is! My Gangster hat! I remember-a using this back when I busted criminals with my plunger...but I guess I don't remember now. What the heck.

{Fast forward glitchy transition. It's daytime now. Exterior Mario Bros. house. To the left side of the porch is a very large picnic mat, in a green-black checker fashion. Mario and Luigi come in from the left side of the screen, carrying boxes full of...stuff. They set it down on the mat.}

LUIGI: {wipes brow} Phew. By the way, why are you planning a garage sale?

MARIO: I dunno. For-a good profit. Maybe not. {eyes widen} Oh, look, bro! Here-a comes our first customer!

{Surely enough, Markie walks in, without his cap.}

MARKIE: Hey there! I'm new in the neighborhood.

MARIO: {chuckles} Whatever you say! {laughs}

MARKIE: Uh...am I supposed to be offended by that?

LUIGI: Nah. He's just...ticklish. ZIMBABWE!!! {zooms off in green streak effect}

MARKIE: Ooooookay...so...you are...the Mario Brothers, right?

MARIO: {stops laughing} Well, of course, duh. What did you expect, the WRONG Brothers?

{In a chain of events, we hear a nuclear explosion nearby.}

MARIO: Crap, they-a must be fiddling with Luigi's beaker set again...for twenty coins...

MARKIE: Looks like a nice place ya got here. ...what's this? {looks inside one of the cardboard boxes} Hmm...bag of rice...saut&eacutee;d fondue pot...outdated eraser...nineties gangster hat of the Mario- GANGSTER HAT? {pulls out hat} I've been wanting one of these!

MARIO: That's not for sale.

MARKIE: If that's not for sale, then-

MARIO: Oh, wait, that's just the ten-thousandth, five-hundredth sixth copy of the original. Ten coins.

MARKIE: {shakes Mario's hand} You got yourself a deal!

{Cut back to Markie and the Bluey.}

MARKIE: {types} BUT WAIT! That's just part of the story!

{Cut to Markie's Basement. We see Markie using a welding kit to mold the gangster hat.}

MARKIE: {voice-over} After purchasing it for cheap, I decided to mold it using my leet skills. So...I shaped it and put some add-ons, and then...

{Markie takes off his welding mask and holds up the shining gangster hat.}

MARKIE: {in the basement} At last! It is complete! Now I can be able to use my hat as a tool for handiness and be able to be the ultimate Mario fan and {extreme closeup of nose} TEH LEET PWNER!!! {normal} But first, I need a coffee break. {zooms off}

{Back to you-know-what.}

MARKIE: {typing} I'll leave how I altered my hat scheme up to you, your moms, your dads, your legal guardians, your former webmasters, and your imaginations. I don't like telling much. And I'm really...vague. Vague like coconut muffins. {stops typing} So...I guess...this is...the end of the vi-

{Abruptly cut to the ending screen.}

THE END

An MBPR Authorized 'Toon

2004

CliKC Heeru FU hfri e-mail toM Rky

Easter Eggs

• Click on the words 'whatsoever' while Markie is typing to see an ad for "Whatsoknotever's Cookie and Muffin Rehab Stuffing".

\/\/HATSO|<|\|0T3\/3R'Z COOKIE AND MUFFIN REHAB STUFFING - GOOD IF YOU ARE A LEGAL CITIZEN OF THE GANGSTER HAT FUND

Really, this is just an advertisement you would see interpreted as a one-frame subliminal in a movie. Or two frames. Shut up.

• Click on '2004' in the end to see this clip:

{Cut to Luigi in the attic. He is frantically rummaging through the same chest Mario rummaged through.}

LUIGI: Curses! How did Mario get such a baseball cap homie thing? I must find one myself and be the better!!!

Explanations

• I forget where that gibberish comes from. A Stinkoman e-mail?
• The answered e-mail is the sequel to the previous.

Real-World References

• Ridgentian Studios is the company that makes "Hyper Japanese Kitchen League". It's an inside joke, mind you.
• The video title is a ref to 'The True Super Mario' series by Gerkinman. (I'd be banned if I gave the link.)
• The opening of the e-mail is a parody of how users lose their computers because of some 'glitch'.
• Markie references Fibbing, Episode 58 of Bonus Stage.

Fast Forward

• Markie's Hat Origins scene is altered in PWNZORS.