Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/boombox

WARNING! THIS EMAIL DOES NOT MEET MBPR INCORPORATED STANDARDS! HELP STANDARDIZE THIS AND WE'LL ALL BE HAPPY!!!

Overview

As Markie and BurninatorBoombox wind up in the future with no way back YET, they discover that Homestar Runner was also part of the catastrophe. While they find a way out, Markie tries to check his email. AND KOOPANTIERO HAS TAKEN OVER THE TREEHOUSE.

Cast (in order of appearance): Markie, BurninatorBoombox, Maruux-II, Big Black Blob, King Apple Maro, Homestar Runner, Space Tree(cameo), Queen Rose Maro, Kozantiero, Macro Siren Troops, Koopantiero's Macro Siren Henchmen, Koopantiero

Transcript

PART ONE - BACK IN TEH FUTURE

{Blackness.}

MARKIE: {voiceover} There are two random philosophies in life, one of them to uphold a positive attitude, the other to live a simple life. Well, I tell you what I think...

{Cut to Markie laying flat on his stomach in a dark alley.}

MARKIE: {weakly} ...I think it's like the kid Sam's hating of video games.

{BurninatorBoombox treads up to him.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Yeah, well, stop whining. We've got an era to escape.

MARKIE: {suddenly and awkwardly stands up} WE CAN'T DO THAT!!! We don't even know where the nearest time machine is! And besides, this "Operation: Takeover" is intruiging to me. We can't leave them yet and leave readers of books with a rubric score of 1 which means that the book ends by leaving you with unanswered questions!

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: But what if the rubric score was a FOUR? {the word "FORE" appears over his head}

MARKIE: Well that wouldn't matter anyways since I was exaggerating. Now come on, we've got to find King Apple Maro and Ma- BLAUGH!!!

{Markie suddenly spits out a saliva covered Bluey OS 289.}

MARKIE: DANGIT. But this will do for now. Hulabaloo, we can doooooooo!!! {picks up Bluey OS 289 and runs off-screen to the left}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Wait for me!!! Wait, me, wait for meeeeeee!!! Uh, okay. {treads off-screen}

{As the duo run off-screen, a bright flash is heard, and a streak of light emanates from the floor of the alley. It widens to reveal a circle of light, and red lightning emerges from it. The red lightning forms a familiar Homestar Runner silhouette...}

{Quickly cut to inside the future Mushroom Kingdom castle's throne room. Green lightning quickly spews out from a vanishing point, and in a flash, Maruux-II materializes.}

MARUUX-II: Well that wasn't as pleasant as I thought.

{Pan out to see...}

BIG BLACK BLOB: I'M REALLY A BIG BLACK BLOB!

{Cut}

MARUUX-II: Well that wasn't as pleasant as I thought.

{Maruux-II gets hit by an incoming UMD disc. Stunned, he falls down.}

MARUUX-II: {off-screen} AGH!

{Cut}

MARUUX-II: Well that was- wait a minute, I'm experiencing...{background turns into notepad paper}...deja vu! This mean-

{Cut}

MARUUX-II: Alright, what what wasn't as pleasant as I th-

{Cut}

MARUUX-II: {clenched teeth, annoyed} Stupid friggin' glitches!

{Cut}

MARUUX-II: ARGH!!! WHAT IS WRONG-

{Cut, Maruux-II is now wearing a red tutu}

MARUUX-II: Hey, what gi-

{Cut, Maruux-II now holds a bottle of orange juice.}

MARUUX-II: Ugh, vitamin C.

{Cut, Maruux now has The Stick impaled through his pelvis}

MARUUX-II: CURSE YOU 20X6 GAGS!!!

{Cut}

MARUUX-II: Well that wasn't as pleasant-

{We hear a bright flash, then King Apple Maro falls down on Maruux-II from above.}

MARUUX-II: Is this really part of the plot?

KING APPLE MARO: {muffled} Uh...

{Both get up. Pan at Maruux-II.}

MARUUX-II: So...where are the two dudes at?

{Apple gives him "the raised eyebrow".}

MARUUX-II: {grunt} Oh. {pulls out orb, which now reveals the location of Markie and BurnBox, which is red-dotted on a birds-eye map of 2079 Mushroom Kingdom}. They're near the castle, emerging from a dark alley.

KING APPLE MARO: Can you think of something more encouraging to say? Because my back...{rubs back, and groans in pain}...ugh...hurts.

MARUUX-II: The only laughter being the best medicine I can give you is this: Pasta.

{Silence. Then King Apple Maro bursts out laughing for a few seconds, until we hear his back cracking. He groans for a bit.}

KING APPLE MARO: Agh! Cramp attack World 9-2!

{Slow and blurry motion of King Apple spinning and then falling on the floor. Then it reverts back to normal.}

MARUUX-II: You might be getting old for your age-

{Cut}

MARUUX-II: You might...aw, not this again.

{The yellow orb suddenly blinks. It appears the red dot has reached the castle.}

MARUUX-II: I wonder.

{Cut to the front royal doors of the castle. Markie is panting as he leans against the door. BurnBox is carrying his Bluey OS.}

MARKIE: At last...{pant}...Mushroom Castle 2079...

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Unh? First, why are we going to the royal castle, and two, why do you constantly break the fourth wall?

MARKIE: Uh...{puts hand on chin} It might be that I read scripts, it might be that I read this email, or maybe I just continuously circle break and have a feeling in my gut that-

???: Oh hello Sir weird music player and hat guy!

{Pan to the right to see Homestar Runner. He is munching on a Twinkie. We pan to Markie, whose jaw is wide open.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Unnecessary gasping.

MARKIE: ...HOW THE CRAP DID YOU GET HE-

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I just jumped into a shape portal and here I am! I followed you guys so that I won't end up munching on scammy organic foodstuffs.

MARKIE: But the only way to physically survive is through fruit flowing through your veins!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I know, tell me about it!

MARKIE: Alright. {background tints dark, words "c://dull explanation like that of thatkidsam at finding stinko" appear above his eyes, they fade shortly after Markie begins speaking} First of all, two guys who claim to be my first 20X6 counterpart and not teh pwnage mod and also that guy who is the "son of Mario" looked for me and brought me to this era. However, some troops peoples also got hold of a time machine and went to my era, I don't know how, possibly because they may have taken one too many illegally descriptive items, and tore my housetree to flames. This also burned the TimeShine, but I managed along with said people and this ghetto blaster to jump through the portal that is TimeShine. It exploded and now glitched up, doing stuffs to other eras. {background reverts back to normal} I sure hope this hasn't screwed up the Space Tree in space in some space way...

{Cut to Space Tree at the Captain's Club. He is sitting in the wrecked up ergonomic chair from "Emotional Distress".}

SPACE TREE: Space Tree is currently bored with his life.

{Cut}

SPACE TREE: Space Tree is- what the?

{Cut, Space Tree is now wearing Commander's dreess}

SPACE TREE: Alright, Commander, what are you doing this time?

{Cut, Space Tree is upside down}

SPACE TREE: This isn't f-

{Cut, the room is rotated 90 degrees and Space Tree's head is bubblegum stuck on the ceiling, which is the right wall}

SPACE TREE: Aw, son of-

{Cut, Space Tree now has Commander's voice}

SPACE TREE: Okay, I'm still glued to this crapwall. Commander! I mean, Space Tree! I mean, Commander in Space! Get me a saw!

{Cut to inside the Mushroom Castle. We look inside the royal bedroom. Queen Rose Maro is still unconscious. As Maruux-II and Apple enter, we quickly pan to the left to see a shadowy giant figure jump through a wall. It passes through it mysteriously. Pan to the bed.}

KING APPLE MARO: Oh no...{rushes up to Rose} Honey?...Are you okay?

{Somehow, Queen Rose Maro faintly opens her eyes}

QUEEN ROSE MARO: Uhhh...Apple? And...that...guy...ungh...{eyes close}

KING APPLE MARO: ...they killed her.

MARUUX-II: No they haven't. My orb tells me that she's unconscious and may be entering a coma of sorts.

KING APPLE MARO: Don't worry, honey...{kisses Rose on the cheek}...everything's going to be alright.

{SUDDEN EXPLOSION as smoke covers the screen. We see Maruux grabbing Apple and slamming him down on the ground to evade any incoming attacks. We then pan to the source of the explosion - the ceiling. Kozantiero and three Macro Siren Troop Elites fall from the ceiling hole, landing in front of the two protagonists.}

KOZANTIERO: Hahahahahahaha. Or is it?

{One of the elites nudges Kozantiero with his shoulder.}

MACRO ELITE #1: Sir, Apple is known to be always right-

KOZANTIERO: SHUT UP, YOU LOWLIFE!!! Jeez, I'm in the middle of a bready taunt and you interrupt my killer instinctiveness?

MACRO ELITE #2: Sir, he was trying to clarify-

KOZANTIERO: Enough rubbish. {faces Maruux-II and Apple, who stand up} I thought I eliminate you two 'tards.

MARUUX-II: And by that you mean?

KOZANTIERO: ...uh, {pulls out notepad from out of nowhere} bread...bread...death...dang, this list is outdated. {throws notepad away}. Anyways, I shall deal with you two craps later. Elites!

{Suddenly a short disco music sample is played, and we see the elites do the hustle. After the music stops, they salute.}

MACRO ELITES: Sir, what sir?

KOZANTIERO: Take this plumber's wife away.

KING APPLE MARO: WHAT?! {close up of red, angry eyes}

{King Apple Maro proceeds to grab and choke Kozantiero by the throat}

KING APPLE MARO: If you lay a finger on my wife, I swear to my holy ancestors that you shall die by my royal plumber skills!

KOZANTIERO: Go ahead and try, but do figure that-

{Suddenly Kozantiero leans back, releasing King Apple's grip on his throat. He pulls out a bread-crafter shruiken and throws it at Apple, which collides against his nose.}

KOZANTIERO: -I am PWN.

KING APPLE MARO: ARGH! MY NOSE! OR MY DAD'S NOSE!

{Apple falls down.}

{Cut}

KING APPLE MARO: What the?... oh, wait, I almost forgot, my nose is invincible. Maruux! Let's get out of- Maruux?

{We se Maruux quickly punching Kozantiero. The Koopa gets hit by the fists most of the time, then ducks and sweep kicks Maruux. Maruux jumps, the camera freeze-flashes, and the camera rotates 360 degrees, also to show the three Macro Elites carring Rose Maro with them and jumping through the ceiling. Stop freezing, and Maruux lands on Kozantiero. Close up on his face.}

MARUUX-II: That's right, suckerboy, who is- wha?

{Pan out. Kozantiero has disappeared.}

KOZANTIERO: {faint laughter} Muahahahahahaha!

KING APPLE MARO: Dang it, he got away.

MARUUX-II: Say something better to enlighten the situation.

KING APPLE MARO: Uh...hopping pasta ravioli killers?

MARUUX-II: Will do.

{Cut to Markie and the Bluey at the front door of the castle. Markie is sitting on the steps, with the Bluey opened on his lap. BurninatorBoombox and Homestar are watching contemptly at his sides.}

MARKIE: {switching to his view, as he types in "Markie_email_inbox.exe"} Okay, people, this is the future. But I'm still checking...futuremail. {presses enter}

Dear Markie and/or Boombox

What does the Boombox play? It sounds kinda useless.
Until i hav nothing less to do,

Form Dinoshaur

MARKIE: {reads} Dear Markie and Boombox- GAH! {gets shoved off-screen by Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Lemme answer this dang offa question, soldier! {reads} Uh...Dear Markie and or Boombox. Ahem. My name is Homestar Runner, thank you very much- {gets shoved off-screen by Markie}

MARKIE: {comes in, starts reading} What does the BurnBox play? It sounds kinda useless.

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {pokes head from left} Useless you say? USELESS YOU SAY? USELESS YOU SAY?!

MARKIE: Calm down, Mr. Burninada. It's just an honest questionable remark. {reads} Until I have nothing less to do, from Dinoshawn. Of the dead. {presses enter, starts typing} Well, dinaguan, I-

{Cut}

MARKIE: {typing} Well, Dinokon, I- {stops} what the crap?

{Pan to Homestar, who has a barrel of melonade covering his head.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {dizzily} Unnnngh. So warm fuzzy like nacho bread. {falls over}

MARKIE: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... {continues typing} Dinoboy, the Burninabox plays more CDs and Tape Casettes than you or your grandpappy can handle. For example, he plays rap. {stops typing} Hit it, DJ!

{Pan to BurnBox, who is jumping around on the stairs to random old-school hip hop.}

MARKIE: Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Mama said knock you out! Mama said knock you out!

{The music abruptly stops, and we cut to the Bluey once again.}

MARKIE: {typing} And...{we see Homestar roll down the stairs at this point} maybe even heavy metal.

{Pan to BurnBox once again, rolling and somersaulting to frenzying heavy metal. It abruptly stops after a short while, and Markie continues the email.}

MARKIE: {typing} And as an added bonus for those who lack humor in good emails like these, {echo} BORING MUSIC!!!!!!!!!! {echo} {stops typing} {cough}thatisnotemointheleastthaticanconjureyouknow{cough}.

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {off-screen} But I can't do emo, you know. That...that just sucks. Because it thinsk that life is cynically sucky.

MARKIE: Don't make me plothole you!

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {off-screen} What do you mean, plothole me? I can plothole YOUR MOM in a second!

MARKIE: ...that's just great. Anyhow, I guess it's time to break-a the-a fortieth wall once again and say that this is slow-motion-

{Cut}

MARKIE: I guess it's time to break-a the-a fortieth wall THE CRAP?! Hey, this is a time glitch of sorts. Maybe I can figure it out. Hopefully that villanous person behind me {cut to the left side of the stairs, which is to the left of Markie and to the right side of the screen. Kozantiero's head pops out, and he throws a capture net at the group.} won't distract- {gets covered by net} OH SNAP! GAH!!! GET ME OUT OF THIS THI...

{And then, for some reason, Markie and the Bluey vanish in thin air inside the capture net.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: HOLY CRAP! IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE COP OUTS PART TWO!!!

{Silence.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Oh man. This is bad. Really, {close-up} really, {extreme-close up} drifting rally bad.

{The close-up eventually fades to Apple, Maruux-II, BurnBox, and a confused Homestar at what seems to be a caf&ecaute; of sorts.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: So then the capture net drifted over Markie, and then WHAM-O! He disappeared in a flash.

MARUUX-II: This must be the work of Kozantiero.

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Which might explain why this guy {antenna transforms into an arrow which points at Homestar Runner} is here with us right now.

MARUXX-II: Homestar Runner. {grunts} Ah. One of my favorite cartoons when I was a wee man.

KING APPLE MARO: This person? {points at Homestar} This person is Homestar Runner? I don't recognize him from anywhere. He must've been caught in this time glitch Maruux told me about.

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Time Glitch?

{Flashback to when the TimeShine is destroyed by the fire. Cut back to the café.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: ...I see.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {kegs of Melonade fly around his head, he talks confusedly} Zzzzzzz...unh...meringue pie and the Aquabats form a constellation mini-band rock star named Senor Homsar.

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: You, know, we really need to get down to the bottom of this. Unfortunately, this might cause another cop out. But yeah, whatever comes ahead of our way, we'll be prepared. Sorta. {jumps on floor} But first I must dance to jazz music. {starts playing jazz music and hops around, King Apple Maro is surprised}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {still confused} Keep dancing Mr. Salivation Nexus. I hereby thank all of the 2Wire networks of this jumpy naught.

{Black screen.}

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

PART TWO or the short epilogue - AU REVOIR TO A TREEHOUSE

Due to new standards of the Wiki, this email will once again be cut short.

{Open up to the ruins of the treehouse. All seven of the Macro Sirens are hauling lumber here and there, hammering nails, splashing paint everywhere, and dousing smoke with water buckets. The camera switches to 25fps, and it is now shaky and blurred. A red "REC ()" is seen at the top right of the camera. Koopantiero comes into view.}

KOOPANTIERO: Hi everyone! It's your new ruler Koopantiero, lord of the bread, here. I have taken over my archnemesis's treehouse, sorta, and have deemed these so-called "Macro Sirens" my henchmen. Seven henchmen, in fact. Anyhoo, {camera switches to the ruins of the top platform} we're currently redesigning and rebuilding the house to make it more bready and more shingly. {A Macro Siren jumps to the top platform and pulls out a mallet, and starts whacking things mercilessly. 8-Bit music plays.} HEY DON'T DO THAT! {the top platform collapses, covering the camera with smoke} GAH! Now look what you did! It's bread lashes for you! {faces camera, which angles at him, he is partly visible} Anyhoo, this ends my progress report. Wait until Markie hears about my scheme! HAR HAR HAR!

MACRO HENCHMAN #1: {visible, pulling out the StarBlaster} Sir! I found a jet!

KOOPANTIERO: {faces StarBlaster} WOOOOOOHOOO! IT'S FINALLY MINE!!!

{The camera freezes, and "EMAIL MARKIE OR DIE" appears. Under it are small words which say "OR KOOPANTIERO, YOU'LL FACE A FATE WORSE OR BETTER THAN DEATH".}

Easter Eggs

No easter eggs in this email.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• The fourth wall breaks and cop out and plothole mentionings refer to the lack of updates of this email.

Inside References

• To find out why Koopantiero has the treehouse, read TimeShine.

Real-World References

• "USELESS YOU SAY?!"
  • This comes from Joel Goes to College, a Bonus Stage episode. Replace Useless with Dumb.
• The time glitch in this email and future emails refers to outtakes that are accessed in special edition DVDs of the sort.
• Nexus is some car brand.
• 2Wire is a modem brand. I live near its building.
• The epilogue/part two parodies Extreme Makeover: Home Edition's progress reports on digital camera.