Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/Engrish

Overview

It's an Engrish play on Zero Wing! What did you expect, the unsulted?

Cast (in order of appearance): Joel Dawson(Red Unit One), Phil Argus(Blue Unit Three), Strong Sad(Commandante of Tramp Ship Iota), Strong Bad(Director), Patrick Star(First Mate), Markie(White Unit One), 1-Up(White Unit Two), Lawrence(That Enemy Guy that is supposed to be not CATS), Superblah(Operatxor), Zeeky H. Bomb(Deranged Mechanic), Mario(Protagonist?), Wart(Mayor of Kanderia I), Birdo(First Lady), Various Sligs(Teh 1337 Army), Craig(The Spokesman), Stickly Man(Darth Real CATS)

Transcript

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1 Credit

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ENGRISH: THE MOVIE!!!
COPYRIGHT 2005 RIDGENTIAN SUBSIDIARIES
DIRECTED IN GRAPE TUB

>Movie Play
>Scene Try
>Extra
>Promo Productor

START MOVIE PLAY!!!

Intro

{Cut to the depths of outer space.}

A long time ago...in a galaxy far far away...

war was beginning.

{Many nuclear explosions are heard from the distance. The words on-screen fade and are replaced by new ones.}

War of Kanderia I begunning. Mayor Wartsenheimer, Mayor phony that "ruler" of Kanderia I,
installsing and or establishesd new army Sligs prepare war to battle up. Tramp Ship Iota, flagship
fleet leaddeding Commandante Saddy and random mechanicals, are destined to stoped enemy line backup
from dimensional partway different.

{Fade, new words.}

Calling enemy "The Chain Reaction", blow up destiny target Kanderia I for plummet of treasuring
behold by citizens of plante. The Red, White, and Blue units of shippy Iota. come to make flee for
enemy. time MUhc before target lock-on missile launch and blwoign up plante? I dunno. YOU JUDGE THE BE!

On Patrol

{Open up to space. Two white space pods, one red, and one blue, zoom by with color coded streaks as they come in from the right. Now we peer inside the red pod. The pilot, Joel Dawson, is seen, with a headset.}

JOEL: Man, that triple decker combo sandwich at Carlissia Jrs. was too stuffy...and buffy...for me. Red Unit One to Blue Unit Three, or should I say KILL PHIL!!!, how's the chicken stars?

{Cut to Blue Unit Three pod interior. The pilot is Phil Argus, with a headset.}

PHIL: Are we getting paid for this?

{Cut back to red pod interior.}

JOEL: Noandshutupandquitbeingsuchagluttonistorist.

{Cut to opposite ship.}

PHIL: {surprised} Oh. Great insult. So anwyways, we should be arriving at the Tramp Ship Iota soon.

JOEL: {through headset, close up} No way! I don't want to ever go back there. The cafeteria serves crappy food, and the surgeons there remind you of grotesque horror...movies...that serve no purpose other to creep you out using forms of tyranny!!!

PHIL: I have to agree with you, but Freddy Krueger is just plain awesome. I mean-

{Abrupt pan out. Both pods suddenly hit the back side of the Tramp Ship Iota, which is similar to the one in the AYB craze.}

JOEL: We seem to have crossed the national enemy border!

PHIL: That's ten lightyears away from here.

JOEL: Whatever. As long as the national enemy border crosses YOUR FACE, then all things are well in order.

PHIL: I hate you sometimes.

JOEL: Go to the bathroom.

We Has Teh Problamo

{Cut to interior Tramp Ship Iota. We have a sort-of bird's eye view of front deck, which looks like the one from Zero Wing. Strong Sad, wearing a black cape and some viking's helmet, approaches the control panel. He pushes some buttons as he speaks.}

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Control panel, estimate enemy proximity from Tramp Ship Iota.

CONTROL PANEL: Calculus be 4 Lightyears away here proxy.

COMMANDANTE SADDY: So this means that I'm not really on the verge of suicide after all...

CONTROL PANEL: Try choking on muffin to die.

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Please...don't give me any ideas...

{A loud rumbling is heard, along with the ship shaking.}

COMMANDANTE SADDY: What that? Erm, I mean...what was that?

STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Read the movie title, Commandumpus. It's ENGRISH.

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Then who's writing the script? I'm getting my lawyer and be sued this person...I mean...sue the person who made this scri-

{Suddenly, the First Mate flies in from the left side of the screen. It looks like he's sporting black shorts and a vest of armor. And some black long sleeves. He sticks in Commandante Saddy's face.}

COMMANDANTE SADDY: AGGH!!! Get it off me!!!

{Commandante Saddy awkwardly and frantically tries to shake the First Mate off. Strong Bad's off-screen laughter is heard. Finally, the ship tilts left, causing the First Mate, or Patrick, in this instance, to stick off of Commandante Saddy's face. The two both land on the tiled floor.}

FIRST MATE PATRICK: What happen, commandante? I mean, what was happen, I mean, what...happens...oh, I can't say it.

COMMANDANTE SADDY: It could be that someone is setting up us the bomb-

STRONG BAD: {off-screen} IN ENGRISH!!!

COMMANDANTE SADDY: No! So anyways, someone could be setting up us the bomb. Or the bomb should set up us it. Um...set the bomb up?

{First Mate starts laughing.}

FIRST MATE PATRICK: {calmly stern} Jeez, Spongebob, you sure proved to me that you aren't well educated...

COMMANDANTE SADDY: What? I'm not Sponge-

FIRST MATE PATRICK: YES YOU ARE!!! Just look at yourself. You're yellow. And you have holes in your body.

COMMANDANTE SADDY: If I have holes in my body, I should be dead by now, or maybe willing to kill myself as a publicity stunt! ...not literally.

{More rumbling. The control panel flashes red, and a hologram projection fuzzed out by static appears.}

COMMANDANTE SADDY: No...it won't be...can't be...it's...

FIRST MATE PATRICK: GIANT CLAM!!!

COMMANDANTE SADDY: ...no.

White Unit Patrollxors

{Cut to outer space, once again. Two white Corsairs fly by. Cut to one's interior. Markie is the pilot.}

MARKIE: White Unit One to White Unit Two. How was breakfast?

{Cut to the other interior. 1-Up is the pilot.}

1-UP: It was great! Too bad they didn't have lemon jello! It's the one thing better than the guy and pudding comblined!

MARKIE: {through headset} I like lime jello better.

{Suddenly, a crackling comes through both headsets. Cut to White Unit One ship interior.}

COMMANDANTE SADDY: {distorted, through headsets} White Unit! Report to ship! We have a problem!

1-UP: {through headset} Uh-oh! Looks like captain guy has a problem!

MARKIE: ...quit calling Commandante Saddy "captain guy". It's possibly rude and rude never conquers love and hate.

1-UP: {through headset} Whatever.

{Both ships are seen approaching the left side of Tramp Ship Iota. A small hatch opens in the side, and both ships land in the docking bay. An alarm flashes with red alarm lights flashing everywhere. Markie and 1-Up get out of their ships and head through the small door as the docking bay hatch closes.}

How Are They, Gentlemen?

{Cut to interior Tramp Ship Iota once again. Joel, Phil, Markie, and 1-Up march in. The fuzzy hologram turns out to be...CATS!}

Some Guy Named CATS: It is getlteman is strong? It belongs we secondly all, is. (How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us.)

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Oh no! It's the attack of the Engrish Engrish! Not that I want to die a horrible non-interjected death.

Some Guy Named CATS: The inoperative women disowned possibly the bed of the form. Red tape due to destiny. (You will die a possibly odd death. Prepare for doom.) Ha ha ha ha.

{Hologram fuzz out.}

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Operatzer...erm, operatexos...operator?

{Superblah flies in}

SUPERBLAH: Oooh hoo hoo! What now, commandante?

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Check for any time bombs, Superblah! CATS set the bomb up for us! I don't want to die a death caused by Household Representative 669!

SUPERBLAH: Right away, commandante...after the- {his head a splode for no reason, accompanied with small explosion}

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Oh. Uh...you're dead.

{Joel, Phil, Markie, and 1-Up walk in.}

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Hey, crew! You came in too late. Someone set up us the bomb-

PHIL: What's with this Engrish crap? I'm sick and tired of it. I am SO going to sue the director for this.

{long pause, pan out for full shot}

STRONG BAD: {off-screen} Uh...no.

JOEL: Well who cares? All I'm after is the illegal bootleg copy of "Half-Life 2 and a half: It's Possibly Not an Alternate Dimension or Something".

COMMANDANTE SADDY: People! Now, look, uh, before misery painstakingly lashes at me, can someone find out where the time bomb is?

MARKIE: The time bomb? Never heard of it. Except for that operator guy.

1-UP: What about Stinkoman? He's a good challenger and fighter for that kinda job.

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Last time he tried it, he got nitrogen in his eye.

{flashback of Stinkoman getting liquid nitrogen sprayed in his face}

STINKOMAN: Waaaaaaaagh! It's too cold! Aaaaaaaaah! No more Eskimo Bob for me!

{Back to Tramp Ship Iota}

MARKIE: Sooooooo...who's gonna take the job?

COMMANDANTE SADDY: Possibly the mechanic.

{Zeeky H. Bomb comes up.}

THE ZEEKY H. MECHANIC: ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG!

PHIL: Oh-

{BOOM}

CONTINUATION AFTER EMAIL 19!

Back on Kanderia I

{Pan in on the ship exploding. The camera soon shows that it is heading for Kanderia I in a poof of flame or something.}