Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/hack'd

WARNING! THIS EMAIL DOES NOT MEET MBPR INCORPORATED STANDARDS! HELP STANDARDIZE THIS AND WE'LL ALL BE HAPPY!!!

Overview

Remember: Bluetooth is YOUR FRIEND.

Cast (in order of appearance): Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/In-Depth Characterisms/Markie, Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/In-Depth Characterisms/BurninatorBoombox, Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/In-Depth Characterisms/The Cheat

Transcript

MARKIE: {types in 'Markie_email_inbox.exe'} Okay player, pull up a chair. I'm Markie the Yoshi and I'm running for mayor. This is the e-mail, as if you care. {presses enter}

Dear Mk_97 (as I have come to know you as),

Do you ever play any games?
Hack The Cheat's Tangerine Dreams!
Sincewely,

T3h Mu

MARKIE: {pronounces "T3h Mu" as Teh Mooooooooon} Ugh. Dirty joke. {presses enter} Do I play any games? Uh, yeah. Ratchet and Clank 3: Up Your Arsenal for a start. Amplitude? Nah. Now for the BIG question: WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO HACK TANGERINE DREAMS?! Hacking is illegal, except if you hack ROMs, but I think I'm promoting ROM hacking and that's just not right.

{Cut to the top of Markie's Treehouse. Markie is standing there. The words "A Campaign Against Hack-2-Hack Hackastrating" fly by in Eurostar font as cheesy politically stereotypical news music plays.}

MARKIE: Hello, preschoolers! I'm compy representative Markie...the Yoshi. And I have come here today to give you a lesson on protecting your compy and laptops from TEH VIRUS...es. {caption "Virus!!!!11111" with a pic of some binary code appear at the top-right of the screen as the camera closes up on Markie} All you need is some WiFi paint, {red paint falls from the sky and drenches Markie with red} it helps keep out haxxors, a Bluetooth Sniper Rifle, {pulls out Sniper Rifle replica, except without the gun trigger}, Norton AntiVirus, {pulls out Norton AntiVirus 2005 edition CD}, and...leet skills. NOW! Pull out your Bluetooth Sniper, {brandishes Bluetooth Sniper Rifle} fire at the nearest outmoded compy, {camera scrolls right so that a lone Windows 98 is visible, then Markie snipes the Windows 98 MENTALLY, causing the computer to be electrocuted} then JAM THE NORTON ANTIVIRUS DISC IN! {throws disc at computer, chops half of it off in the process} Finally, smother it all with red WiFi paint! {gets out red bucket of WiFi paint and dumps the load on the computer} And...you have your very own...{suddenly looks at the computer}...wrecked up...red wreck...of sorts...that looks like a virus might've mangled it. But it helps protect you from haxxors!

{Static. Fade back to Markie and the Bluey.}

MARKIE: {typing} Four months after I released my guide to protecting computers in a 172 page book called "Protect Compy Haxxor From The!", {holds up book, then puts it back and continues typing} I sold 10 million copies. And made only 68 coins. How sad. {presses enter} So remember, if you want to be a hacker someday, DON'T! Hacking is bad. It leads to scary stuff. And it can kill you off the stage set as well. So...

{Markie stands up. The camera is showing him standing up at a different angle.}

MARKIE: DON'T BE A HACKER! DON'T BE A HACKER! DON'T BE A HACKER! DON'T BE A HACKER!

{BurninatorBoombox joins in as he comes in from the left via tank wheels.}

MARKIE and BURNINATORBOOMBOX: DON'T BE HACKERS! DON'T BE HACKERS!

{Surprisingly enough, The Cheat comes in.}

MARKIE, BURNINATORBOOMBOX, and THE CHEAT: DON'T BE SOME HACKERS! (Meh menhah wuheh!) DON'T-

{Record scratch. Markie looks at The Cheat.}

MARKIE: Uh...you're going to get back at me for mentioning the Tangerine Dreams hack thing, huh?

THE CHEAT: Neh! (Yes!)

{Fade to black. The sounds of the Ion Cannon firing is heard. Words appear on screen: "Moral of the Story: Don't grow up to be a hacker. Grow up to e-mail Markie"}

Easter Eggs

• Click on 'hacker' to play a game called "Bluetooth Silent Scope: FORTE!!!"

Fun Facts

• This e-mail was inspired by F-Secure's Weblog's April 17th Entry, where it pointed out Mozilla/Firefox's exploits.
• The way Markie says "T3h Mu' is a reference to personal favorites and The Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon.