Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/font special mock 2

Overview

After FIVE FREAKING MONTHS+, Markie releases the first draft of the email.

Cast (in order of appearance): Markie, Drastics, ThunderLakitu, Pylic B. Dubitoddy, Cyclone, Covert OPS Guy, Kozantiero, Various Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/In-Depth Characterisms/Macro Siren Troops, Homsar

Transcript

{Fade in to Markie in a dark place, typing on his laptop. He looks to the camera.}

MARKIE: Oh by golly gee. Welcome, welcome. If you must know, Markie & BurninatorBoombox emails is back, what with the cancellation of Bone- excuse me, Bonus Stage, a promotion, my taxes, and writer's block. Of course, this is all natural, if you can't get decaf. BurnBox! {snaps fingers} Bring me my decaf sugar rush!

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {off-screen} No! I refuse to! Especially when I'm feeding it to the sharks!

MARKIE: But we don't have any sharks, dangit!

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: {off-screen} Well...we have fat-tailed geckos.

MARKIE: Screw you! {focuses on camera} Anyways, enjoy the email. It's not best quality, but hey, what happens when you cross the road after five months after you see Mr. T approaching you with brass knuck-

{Static.}

Previouzly on Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails…

{Fade in to a dark meeting room in Shroomery Labs. Sitting around the table are Drastics, ThunderLakitu, Pylic B. Dubitoddy, Cyclone, Covert OPS Guy, and Sr. Blaugh.}

DRASTICS: This meeting of the “Save The Markie The Yoshi” rally has come to order! {brings up sheet of parchment paper} Ahem...ThunderLakitu?

THUNDERLAKITU: {raises hand} Present.

DRASTICS: Pylic…Burgenson…Dubitoddy or something.

PYLIC B. DUBITODDY: Erm, I’m here.

DRASTICS: Cyclone?

CYCLONE: Cyclone is present.

DRASTICS: Covert OPS Guy?

COVERT OPS GUY: Is in the house.

DRASTICS: And…Senior Blaugh.

SR. BLAUGH: BLARGG.

{pause}

DRASTICS: Riiiiiiiiight. Okay, on to brass tacks. A few moments ago we received this toothpick {holds up toothpick} from Senior Blaugh. We know it is the key to breaking out Markie in his present time. How so? Well…um…blame in on him. {points to Sr. Blaugh, and everyone else except Sr. Blaugh himself follow suit}

SR. BLAUGH: Um…what?

CUT SHORT

{Cut to the guest room in the 2079 Mushroom Castle. Markie is sitting at the writing desk checking his email on the Bluey.}

MARKIE: {typing in “c://Markie_email_inbox.exe”} Dancing on your graaaaaaave, he’s dancing on your graaaaaaaaaaave, email is dancing on your graaaaaaaaaave, EMAIL! {presses enter}

Hey Markie,

Your e-mail show rules! You should throw a party!

Color Printer

MARKIE: {stops reading at “rules”} Why, thank you sir Bitmap. {continues reading, then starts typing} Clearly Inkjet Hewlett Packard, my email show is a force to be reckoned with {types in “rekkond wit, daug”} and that no man should touch its purity. Except me. I’m a Yoshi. {presses enter} And what do you mean by “You should throw a party”? Like, I’m in the middle of a crisis here, and…I don’t have time to make crepes or creepers or such. Rather, I would celebrate by Toilet Papering a café. Um…I’ll be right back. {leaves the Bluey}

{Cut to the same room with the TimeShine device in the Macro Siren Bread Army HQ. Kozantiero enters and claps his hands twice. The room is suddenly tinted red. He holds up a toothpick-like electric conductor to where the portal should be. The edges of the portal flicker, and Kozantiero retracts the electric conductor so that the portal covers all of the edges.}

KOZANTIERO: Set to 2005.

DEVICE COMPUTER: Setting to 2005.

{The portal flashes twice, and it suddenly shuts down.}

KOZANTIERO: What the heck? I thought I programmed this right. {takes out a book called “TIME TRAVELING FOR DUMMIES” and flips some pages} Now let’s see if page 273 was right…{starts reading}

{Suddenly, a Macro Siren General bursts through the open door.}

MACRO SIREN GENERAL: {robotic monotone} Lord Kozantiero! We are beginning our raid on the Café De La Toad!

KOZANTIERO: Excellent. We only need a few men as possible. Withdraw most of the troops and leave only the Elites to hunt their prey. And leave me alone, will you? I’m trying to work this time thingy out.

MACRO SIREN GENERAL: As you wish. {leaves}

{Sideswipe right so that the camera is facing the same café from boombox. It is a two-story apartment-like café. Cars and hovercrafts are whizzing around it. Pan to the sidewalks. A few dozen Macro Elites leading a hundred Macro Siren Troops are marching along. Cut to the other side of the sidewalk. Markie is walking, unaware that Homsar is wobbling behind him, with a colander on his head and a Fire Flower. Markie stops after a few seconds of walking. He turns around.}

MARKIE: Oh. It’s you. Homsar. What the crap are you doing here following me around?

HOMSAR: AaAaAaAaAaA, {colander spins 720 degrees and lands on his head} by George Lopez, thee will be redundant!

MARKIE: I see. {turns around and suddenly screams} HOLY CRAP, MIDGET!!!

{Quick two second crescendo-accompanying shot of the marching Macro Sirens. Cut back to Markie and Homsar.}

MARKIE: Then there’s only one thing to do! {takes out Ion Cannon and charges it} ION CANNON!!!

{Markie pulls the trigger, and everything is sped up 2x. The camera follows the cyan blast, which quickly collides with the leading Macro Elite. He explodes in a cartoony fashion. The other bad guys just gape at what has just happened.}

MARKIE: Okay, it’s clear. Let’s go get a latté. {six second pause} RUN!!!

{Markie and Homsar quickly run down the sidewalk, the Macro Sirens quicker than that. The two eventually reach the entrance and burst through the glass doors in slooooooooow motion. Once they land, Markie on his stomach and Homsar upside-down, the glass rematerializes on the empty space, blocking the way in for the Macro Sirens. Markie walks up to the counter, up to a green Koopa wearing a blue apron. Nametag reads: “HELLO, MY NAME IS BOOTS KOOPA”}

BOOTS KOOPA: Hello, gentleman and…warped up man, how can I help you?

MARKIE: Yeah, I’d like a Mushroom Latté and-

HOMSAR: Two Super Happy Fudge Sundae Phenomenons!

BOOTS KOOPA: That will be 10 coins.

MARKIE: Is it okay if I use debit card?

BOOTS KOOPA: Sorry, we don’t accept debit cards. Especially if A GANG IS BEHIND YOU POUNDING ON THE GLASS!!! {ducks}

{Frame jump. Cut to the glass doors. The Macro Sirens blast through it with their guns. Markie jumps over the bullets in slow motion while Homsar sucks them all in with his mouth. Markie ducks and jumps continuously until Homsar spits out an anvil. The anvil somehow defies gravity and topples the posse of Macro Sirens down. Helicopter noises are heard. Two missiles crash through the rematerializing glass door. Just as it is about to hit Markie the frame jumps a multitude of times and Markie disappears, leaving Homsar to suck the missiles up. Markie reappears behind the counter, apparently holding a name tag that says “HELLO, MY NAME IS BOOTS KOOPA pwned by LOWER MANS”}

MARKIE: Thank goodness for that conveniently placed…um…time glitch. {looks at the floor} Can I have a latté, please?

{Cut back to the guest room in the Mushroom Castle.}

MARKIE: {typing} So there you go, Color Printer. I celebrate my killing sprees with a latté and a…double phenomenon. Oh, there’s my time. I gotta tend to my other stories. Bye bye! {runs off}

{The new hologram projector comes down. It reads "Finally, no more disorganization! - Email Markie at [email protected]".}

Easter Eggs

HOLD IT

Fun Facts

Trivia

• First email after five months on hiatus, the last email before the hiatus being font special.
• During the email's release, Thatkidsam was promoted by the admins as SYSOP.

Inside References

• How Sr. Blaugh got the toothpick, this is it. Or is it?