Markie & BurninatorBoombox Emails/THE Yoshi

Overview

Markie is in a dark room. Probably he'll meet his doom! Watch as he answers an email in the glooooooooooom. I'll get you Eh! Steve if it's the last thing I DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'm going to sing the doom song now.

Cast (in order of appearance): Markie, Jimmy Toad, Eddy Toad, Homestar Runner, BurninatorBoombox, ???, Yoshi, The Toad Guys

Page Title: Yoshee 289!

Transcript

{Pitch black.}

MARKIE: {now echoing for some reason} Man, this is pitch black in here. As noted by the fourth wall...and somehow...there is an unlikely presence here...a Matrix-y presence...I find its lack of faith distrubing. But enough of that.

{A bluish light flickers on, and Markie's face is illuminated. He sits down, and the camera is now in his line of vision, facing the monitor.}

MARKIE: I wonder why I would be checking an email right now. Probably it's because it's only been five minutes since I've escapered that ordeal of Macro troopingtons. Speaking of that, {types in "Markie_email_inbox.exe"} I wonder if this would count as an email rap of sortification. {presses enter}

Hey Markie!

Before I start, I want to say that
I'm terribly sorry for the crappy
drama email, they made us watch soap operas!!
I was just wondering if you ever knew the
Yoshi that Mario rides.

Thanks,

Stinkoman K

MARKIE: {presses enter, starts typing and speaking} Good question, Double Pants Deuce Jiggy. Have I ever met that Yoshi? The Yoshi? The Frigging Yoshi? Um...I'm 'fraid not. Maybe when I'm older. BUTT! OCKS! DOCK OCKS! I can fantasize about me and Yoshi meeting under a palm tree and discussing politics...that would be most...crepé and Burtony. Ahehehehehehehehe.

THIS COUNTS AS A MEANWHILE!!!

{Cut to a set of metal double doors retracting, revealing Jimmy Toad, Eddy Toad, Homestar, and BurnBox in the doorway.}

JIMMY TOAD: Welcome.

{Quickly pan out to reveal a broad, white-walled room with many Corinthian pillars. Along the sides of the camera, scientists and similar looking troops with flak jackets are running around, and the panning out stops when the camera passes through a transparent ruby glass set of double doors, in which we get a glimpse of an elevator-like place. Which is really an elevator. Cut back to the group. They are now walking along the now forming holographic red carpet. Mildly slow marching music with a majestic flavor in it plays in the background.}

JIMMY TOAD: This is the Mushroom Resistance HQ. Founded in 2068 to fend off the rising threats that evolved in Old Toad Town.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Looks like somebody forgot to pay their multi-angluar-colorificular bills. {double takes}

JIMMY TOAD: Mr. Whitey, I believe there's more here than meets the eye.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You mean like this?

{A brief shot of a flak-jacket red skinned-Yoshi at what seems to be the counter near the elevator.}

JIMMY TOAD: Meh, that guy's not important. Actually, I lied. He is of importance to us for the next eternity or so. But he's just sitting there, collecting dust, so to speak.

{Another brief shot of the Yoshi, this time with bulging eyes. Cobwebs, dust, and silly putty cover him.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Yet another reason why literal figures of speech creep me out.

{The four walk into the elevator, which closes right after Homestar steps in. Eddy presses a button labeled "OMGWTFBOTTOMFLOOR", and humming noises ensue.}

EDDY TOAD: Alright, boys, let's meet the president of the Mushroom Resistance!

{Sideswipe transition to the left. A glimpse of a gold-tinted room with a factory feel to it is shown, along with the elevator door, which is also tinted gold. It opens with a ding, and the four step out non-chalantly. As they step out, they suddenly stand still. We now have a scrolling view of the OMGWTFBOTTOMFLOOR, which is filled with unconscious Mushroom Resistance bodies piled against electric generators, vats, the gold-tinted cement floor, and indoors linked fences. We cut back to the four as they gasp in horror.}

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Um...wait, aren't we...not...supposed to be gasping at this time?

{Suddenly, Homestar starts running, first off-screen, then down the straight concrete path. He eventually fades off-screen, and a clanking noise is heard. Then a thump.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {faint echo} Oh cwap, I forgot to wear a bicycle noggin...

JIMMY TOAD: Something's wrong here. {close up of squinting eyes} Something very wrong.

{Cut}

JIMMY TOAD: Something's wrong here. {close up once again of squinting eyes} Something- {abrupt pan out} HOLD IT! WHAT IN TARNATION WAS THAT GLITCH THAT HAPPENED?!

EDDY TOAD: Uh...probably...one of them...rerun diseases. Or deja vu.

JIMMY TOAD: Ah, right, right. We won't let that happen.

{Cut, Jimmy Toad now has sunglasses}

JIMMY TOAD: Aw, crap, now I have sunglasses.

BURNINATORBOOMBOX: Let's just shut up and get down to that presidential place.

{So the three go off-screen through the straight concrete path. The camera pans upwards, through the ceiling, and inside an above air vent. A shadowy deity resembling Lunar Jesters is floating above an air panel, looking through it.}

???: {in a slow, demonic voice resembling M.A.D. of the old Inspector Gadget cartoons} Soon they will realize the errors of their ways. I am the deity of the Homestar Runner Fanstuff Wiki. I will make them pay {pounds fists} for their erroneous nonsense. {fades}

Seriously, these cutscenes are annoyanced

{Cut to Yoshi's Island. Tropical carribean music ensues. Then we pan down from the ruby red grapefruit sky and to a palm tree towering above a selected mound of sand. Yoshi is lying against the palm tree, munching on a mango and juggling two plums. As he does so, Markie comes on-screen and sits down next to Yoshi.}

MARKIE: Hi, Yoshi! It's probably been a while since we've last talked.

YOSHI: Hold on. Yoshi trying to juggle plums.

{Markie watches Yoshi juggle plums for a few seconds.}

MARKIE: I...see...so...you mind if you watch me juggle some apples?

YOSHI: {drops plums and tosses three apples at Markie} Be Yoshi's guest.

{Markie quickly starts to juggle the apples.}

MARKIE: Hey, this is pretty fun. Let's see if I can last long. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, {gets hit by a rock, causing him to drop the apples} OW!!! {falls over}

YOSHI: {laughs and points at Markie} Oh ho ho! Yoshi got you good!

{Markie lays still.}

YOSHI: {nervous} Hello?

MARKIE: {gets up abruptly} HOLY JAMES JAMIESON STARFOX ASSAULT SUCKED BECAUSE I GAVE IT A 5.8 OUT OF 10.3!!!

YOSHI: Yoshi sorry. Me didn't really mean to kill you.

MARKIE: {snapping back into conscience} Me? Oh, uh, right. So, whaddya wanna talk about?

YOSHI: ...uh...fruit! {tosses pineapple at Markie}

MARKIE: Ah. What about it?

YOSHI: Eat pineapple. It good for you.

MARKIE: Well...

{Alternating shots of Markie and the pineapple in his hands. Every once in a while a brief shot of Yoshi rabidly devouring his pineapple in his hands.}

MARKIE: Nah. I despise pineapples.

TOAD GUY #1: {off-screen} HOLY CRAP THAT YOSHI DESPISES SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!

TOAD GUY #2: {off-screen} I AGREE MORE WITH YOU! LET'S KILL HIM OFF SO THAT WE CAN CONTINUE OUR PAGAN WORSHIP OF SQUIDWARD TENNISBALLS!!!

YOSHI: {points left} That two guys wanna kill you?

MARKIE: Meh, they're annoying. But they'll run out of stamina soon enough.

{Two Toads with sporks on their heads and each wearing a black t-shirt with the "STAR WARS" name on it rush on-screen and quickly tackle Markie down. Static, then we cut to Markie snoring on the Bluey. A different email is shown on screen.}

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE OTHER YOSHIS?!?

MARKIE: {abruptly wakes up} Wha? Zzzzzznnnmmmmgggghhhhh...oh, right. The email. {screams} WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE OTHER YOSHIS?!?

{Suddenly, the room turns pitch red. A device similar to the TimeShine can be seen, covered last email. Four turrets pop out from the ground and surround Markie.}

MARKIE: Aw, great, thanks a lot, anonymous man.

{Without warning, Markie draws his Ion Blade and quickly slashes all four turrets into oblivion. The room quickly fades into pitch black except for the light the Bluey is giving.}

MARKIE: Whew, so close. Okay, so until next time, people, send me all those emails you can and I will make them follow the fanstuff guidelines. I...I better solve the mystery of this...device...and get out of here... {the light disappears}

{The new hologram projector comes down. It reads "Finally, no more disorganization! - Email Markie at [email protected]".}

???: {off-screen} What he doesn't know is that I will be the one to kill him first...{maniacal laughter}

Fun Facts

Trivia

• No, that's not Lunar Jesters.
• Yes, the device plays a role in the next emails.
• Yes, I will adopt a new style.
• This is the first ender template email! YAY!

Explanations

• The beginning of this email refers to why people would check their emails five minutes after they have done so in a previous email, which creates plot holes in various shows.

Remarks

• Einoo wants me to adopt a new style of emailing to finish crap up.

Real-World References

• "I find its lack of faith disturbing."
  • An obvious reference to Star Wars IV: A New Hope.
• "Double Pants Deuce Jiggy"
  • "Double Pants" = rock opera
  • "Double Deuce" = Do I even have to spray it?
  • "Deuce Jiggy" = Deuce Bigalo Male Gigalo. Ewww.
• Doc Ock, one of Spiderman's enemies, is mentioned.
• Tim Burton's last name is referenced. He is responsible for The Nightmare Before Christmas and crap like Corpse Bride.
• The entrance to the Mushroom Resistance is inspired by Ford's Sanctuary, a place in that Tim Schafer(OMG COINCIDENCE) game Psychonauts.
• The ending of this email is a reference to The Incredibles in which Mr. Incredible gets caught in the big computery room by his supersuit going off.