Conshow/35

Summary

Space mystery. Blah

Transcript

{Open to the ship's bridge}

CONCHRIS: The writer's running out of ideas! Quick! Name one!

CRUROAR: How about we jump another shark.

{Conchris grabs Cruroar by the collar and puts the laser blade close to him}

CONCHRIS: Listen pally! There are some sharks we refuse to jump.

CRUROAR: We've already jumped the language shark and the romance shark, why can't we jump the m-

CONCHRIS: Saying that word is taboo this episode! Like Tabuu from Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

CRUROAR: SORRY! SORRY! Put me down!

CONCHRIS: No. {pulls out a shotgun and blasts Cruroar off-screen, Cieeia watches in horror as Conchris turns around} WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

CIEEIA: YIPE! {runs off}

CONCHRIS: Yeah! You'd better run! {throws a grenade at Cieeia, it explodes off-screen} That's for all those four times you called my stuff toasters!

{Nydara sneaks up behind Conchris and whacks him with a hammer}

NYDARA: FOURTH WALL CALLED! THEY NEED YOU TO SHUT UP!

{Cue introduction}

{Open to the ship's bridge, again}

CRUROAR: Well, after that little outburst, we somehow came back to life after the intro.

CONCHRIS: I wonder what crazy space adventure we end up in today?!

CRUROAR: Crazy would've been right.

NYDARA: We're entering a space armada's field of view, let's just keep low...

{Cut to space, the ship flies low as an armada of ships sail into view}

{Cut to the inside of the armada's ship, Greg is at the wheel}

SIRHCNOC: So, we're going to find those troublesome twerps and kill them?

GREG: Yes! And we're going to overpower them!

SIRHCNOC: That's the worst plan you've had in ages. LOWER THE SHIELDS!

GREG: No! NO! RAISE THE SHIELDS!

YFFULF #12: Why should we listen to YOU?!

YFFULF #32: Yeah! That human is much taller than YOU! Boo! We hate our own kind because we can!

GREG: {sigh} Fine, lower the shields, see if I care...

{An alarm sounds and a screen slides down revealing the ship that Conchris and company are on}

SIRHCNOC: Now, planting that tracker chip on Forest is the best idea Xavian had in ages!

GREG: I thought he was the all powerful villain? Why isn't he helping us?

SIRHCNOC: It's because {imitates Xavian} I'M TOO COOL FOR YOU!

GREG: Wait a second, isn't that OUR armada on the screen?!

SIRHCNOC: GASP! Do something!

GREG: Fine! Bring up the shields and shoot it down!

YFFULF #12: {coughs}

GREG: {sigh} Sirhcnoc?

SIRHCNOC: RAISE THE SHIELDS! SHOOT IT DOWN!

{Cut to space, the armada's cannons slowly slide out of the ships, aims at the ship that Conchris and company are on and fires}

{Cut to the ship's bridge, alarms start sounding}

NYDARA: CRAP! I was hoping that they would ignore me!

CONCHRIS: Well, it didn't work, did it?

CRUROAR: We're done for, right?

NYDARA: Not quite! {pushes the "CLOAK" button}

{Cut to space, the ship flickers for a moment as it cloaks, the cannons stop firing}

{Cut to the inside of Sirhcnoc's ship, Greg and Sirhcnoc are watching the screen}

GREG: They cloaked!

SIRHCNOC: Quick! Get the flamethrowers out!

GREG: We have one of those?

SIRHCNOC: Yes!

{Cut back to space, a ship takes out a flamethrower and spams the air with it, Nydara's ship catches fire}

{Cut to the inside of Nydara's ship, Nydara bashes the controls in rage}

NYDARA: {bleeping} cheap!

CONCHRIS: That's what you get for cloaking!

NYDARA: {sighs} That's what I get for getting my cloak from Shady Slim's...

CONCHRIS: So, now what?

NYDARA: We wait to die.

CONCHRIS: I'm not waiting to die! I'm a busy person!

NYDARA: Well, DO SOMETHING!

{Cut to space, Nydara's ship's back engine explodes and the ship is sent hurtling off the screen}

{Cut to the inside of Sirhcnoc's ship}

SIRHCNOC: Did we just?

GREG: We did it! We won! HIGH FIVE!

{Sirhcnoc high fives Greg}

SIRHCNOC: THIS calls for a celebration!

{Cut to a white void, Conchris, Cruroar, Cieeia, Nydara and Forest (deactivated) are standing there}

CRUROAR: Well, we died.

CONCHRIS: Yep.

{Cue credits?}

{Open to a dark and dusty planet, Conchris, Cruroar, Cieeia and Nydara warp in Megaman style}

CONCHRIS: What the hell? I thought we died!

NYDARA: The Yffulf has more control in this sector, that's why our respawn time was lower.

CONCHRIS: Awesome! Now I can do my most favourite thing of all!

CRUROAR: And what would THAT be?

CONCHRIS: ONE MAN RUSH!

{Conchris runs off-screen, wailing. A beeping noise is heard and then a blasting of turrets. Conchris screams in agony until the blasting stops, Conchris is then thrown on-screen as a head}

CIEEIA: Ha ha ha ha! You're stupid looking!

CONCHRIS: Why don't YOU come down here and say that to my FACE?!

CIEEIA: Sorry! You'll just bite my leg off, toaster man.

CONCHRIS: Oh that's it! Come here! {rolls over to Cieeia and tries to bite her left leg}

CIEEIA: {giggling} Stop it! It tickles!

NYDARA: Stop it, you two! Let's go into that mansion that appeared out of nowhere!

{Cut to the mansion, lightning starts striking as a scary jingle plays, after it finishes, cut back to Conchris and company, Cruroar is now wearing a green shirt with light brown trousers}

CRUROAR: {grave voice} Zoinks! That mansion looks {gulp} scary! Isn't that right, Scoob?

CONCHRIS: Look, we don't have a dog, okay?

CRUROAR: Sorry! I wanted to act the part!

CIEEIA: Well, we should stop acting like hippies and get in!

{Cut to the inside of the mansion, Conchris and company walk in through the open door, Cruroar notices a dead body lying on a table}

CRUROAR: OH GOD!

CONCHRIS: What? AHH!

{They all look at the dead body in digust, except for Nydara, who looks at it in amazement}

NYDARA: Interesting, humans hate looking at dead corpses.

CRUROAR: That is why we bury them.

{A strange creature comes out of the shadows}

STRANGE CREATURE: Wel...come... strangers...

CIEEIA: Now I'm scared already...

STRANGE CREATURE: Do... not be... alarmed... I'm sure... you're looking for... a place... to stay...

CONCHRIS: Err... yeah?

STRANGE CREATURE: Right this way...

{The creature slowly walks up the stairs with Conchris and company following}

{Cut to a ruined bedroom, the creature bashes open the door with Chrionroar's head}

CHRIONROAR: I STLL BRAK TEH LAWS OF TIMES!

STRANGE CREATURE: Get out of this episode. {throws Chrionroar off the screen} This... is... the bedroom... come... why don't you sleep... for the night?

{The creature grabs Conchris, Cruroar, Cieeia and Nydara and throws them into the bedroom and slams the door, the lights flicker on}

CRUROAR: I don't want to stay the night! What if there were ghosts?

CONCHRIS: You're right, we should split up.

CRUROAR: I'll take Nydara and Cieeia and search this house. You can go do whatever.

CONCHRIS: FINE! I don't need your stupid company anyway!

{Cruroar, Cieeia and Nydara walk out of the bedroom, Conchris looks around}

CONCHRIS: Time to test out the fusion armour! Forest Armour!

{A beam of light hits Conchris and his clothes turn green and dark blue, his hair is now green as well.}

CONCHRIS: Fusion successful!

FOREST: What the hell? Since when was I...

CONCHRIS: SHUT UP! You're supposed to be deactivated!

{Pause}

CONCHRIS: Okay, time to search the house...

{Cut to a ruined kitchen, Cruroar is searching the cupboards}

CIEEIA: Find anything?

CRUROAR: Just a hobo...

{Cruroar reopens a cupboard to reveal that it was empty}

CRUROAR: What the?

{The hobo appears out of nowhere and snarls}

CRUROAR: RUN!

{Chase music starts playing as Cruroar, Cieeia and Nydara start running with the hobo behind them}

{Cut to the main hall, the trio run up the stairs with the hobo chasing and then they run through the top-left door}

{Cut to the games room, the trio run in and jumps over the pool table, the hobo stops at the pool table and starts throwing pool balls at the three, Cruroar picks up a snooker cue and thwacks the balls back at the hobo. The hobo gets mad and chases after the three again}

{Cut to a corridor, the three runs out of the top-left door and enter the top-right door with the hobo chasing them, it then closes}

{The three then run out of the bottom-right door and into the bottom-left door with the hobo on a forklift, the door then suddenly closes}

{Cut to the main hall, Cruroar, Cieeia and Nydara run in}

CRUROAR: {out of breath} We've been running for ages now! Where's Conches when you need him?

{Cut to a barren wasteland, Conchris is walking along}

CONCHRIS: {singing} Going on a random adventure! Going on a random adventure, to see what we can kill...

{Conchris trips and falls into a hole}

CONCHRIS: Something tells me that this hole wasn't here for no reason.

{Conchris peeks his head out of the hole to see a castle, a jingle starts playing (Megaman 2 - Wily's Castle intro)}

CONCHRIS: OH CRAP!

{Cut back to the mansion, the hobo is tied up}

NYDARA: With my superbly scientific trap, we have caught the hobo!

CRUROAR: But you just used a piece of...

NYDARA: SCIENTIFIC!

CIEEIA: Time to see who this hobo really is!

{Cieeia pulls off the hobo's face to reveal that it is...}

CRUROAR, CIEEIA and NYDARA: Weegee?!

{Weegee stares at the three with cold eyes}

CRUROAR: Oh screw this! He obviously is...

{Cruroar pulls off Weegee's face to reveal that he is...}

CIEEIA: Toasterman?!

TOASTERMAN: I would've gotten away with it too! If it weren't for you meddling kids!

CRUROAR: Scooby Dooby Doooooooooo!

{Pause}

CIEEIA: Never do that again.

CRUROAR: Sorry.

{Cue credits}