Conshow/1

Summary

Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia do a three-man show... err... a two-man one-woman show...

Transcript

{Intro plays, when it ends, cut to Conchris' Living Room, Conchris and Cruroar are on the couch}

CONCHRIS: We all know that automechanics tamper with the batteries, so you have to go back to them in a week. But you can't do jack! 'cause they're, you know, tied... to the mafia...

CRUROAR: Uh... when are we going to stop stealing scripts?

{Conchris holds up a script, the word "Stolen" is scored out}

CONCHRIS: This script isn't stolen! It's borrowed! Get your words right!

CRUROAR: Uh... that script is stolen, I can plainly see the scored out "Stolen".

CONCHRIS: Fine... I'll just burn it, {closeup} LIKE THE REST OF THEM! {the script he is holding burns up and turns into ash, it then falls to the floor}

{The camera zooms out again}

CRUROAR: I wanna go out and explore the city. We've never done that in the email show, did we?

CONCHRIS: {puts on a confused look} What email show?

CRUROAR: Err... nevermind then. Come on... let's just go...

CONCHRIS: Not until we clean up the ashes...

CRUROAR: FINE! CLEAN UP YOUR ASHES YOURSELF! {throws a bottle of "Cillit Twang" at him} IT'S TOO DANGEROUS TO CLEAN IT UP! TAKE THIS! {runs out}

{Pan down to the floor, Conchris kneels down and picks up the bottle of "Cillit Twang" with a confused look}

CONCHRIS: I think he's gone insane... Whatever, let's see if this household cleaner can clean up anything.

{Conchris sprays the "Cillit Twang" onto the ashes, the ashes melt away and the area surrounding it}

CONCHRIS: That is not a good sign... Not good at all.

{Cut to outside the house, Cruroar and Cieeia are standing near the front door, Conchris opens the door and walks out}

CRUROAR: It's about time! What took you?

CONCHRIS: I was just cleaning up, {holds out bottle of "Cillit Twang"} WITH THIS!

{Cieeia inspects the bottle before eyeing Cruroar suspiciously}

CIEEIA: Did you give him the bottle that you weren't suppose to give?

CRUROAR: Sorry...

CIEEIA: Ugh! I knew it!

CRUROAR: How about we go out on the town? Sounds like fun...

{Montage music plays, the following actions are listed below:

• Cut to the park, Cruroar and Cieeia walk along before Conchris comes out from behind the tree.
• Then cut to the café, Conchris orders a vanilla milkshake and drinks it up quickly, he then pays the cashier.
• Then cut to the courthouse, Cruroar points his finger towards Conchris in a Phoenix Wright style fashion}

CRUROAR: OBJECTION!!

CONCHRIS: You could poke an eye out with that thing...

{Then cut to the mall, Cieeia starts to look annoyed whilst Conchris walks out with a giant sombrero. Cruroar falls over laughing at said sombrero.}

CONCHRIS: What? Was it my face? Was my face funny to you?! HUH!?

{More actions:

• Cut to the cinema, Conchris tries to haggle down the price for a ticket before it rests on 9002.99, he leaves the ticket counter in disgust
• Then finally cut to the hill as seen in Con_email.wue Email 125, the music stops, the hill is illuminated by the setting sun}

CONCHRIS: Okay, we went to the park, the café, the courthouse, the cinema, the mall and the leisure centre. Now can we go home?

CRUROAR: Yes. In a minute.

{Pause}

CONCHRIS: You'd better not be getting any ideas...

CRUROAR: Nope.

CONCHRIS: Good, because I will patent them with my PATENATOR!

CRUROAR: You don't have a patenator.

CONCHRIS: I do now! {brings out a stamp}

CRUROAR: That's not a patenator, that's a stamp.

CONCHRIS: It patents things right? Then it is the patenator.

CRUROAR: Whatever, you're never going to patent my ideas.

{Credit sequence, after the credits have ended, cut to a kitchen, a guy similar to Barry Scott comes in holding a bottle of "Cillit Twang"}

SARRY BCOTT: Hi! I'm Sarry Bcott! Are you having trouble cleaning up {pictures of the item involved appear when he mentions it} Limescale, Rust, Ground-in dirt? {The pictures disappear} That's a task for some household cleaners but not for Cillit Twang! It cleans up the lot! {closeup, Sarry's eyes become red and his voice becomes more demonic} And it will melt your body into a fine liquid for which we use for our household cleaners! {Zoom out, Sarry becomes normal again, cut to the same kitchen but with the camera closer to the counter with the bottle of Cillit Twang on it} Cillit Twang! Cleans up the lot!

{Cut to a black screen with the words "End" on it}

Fun Facts

• The first line Conchris says refers to the dead webtoon Bonus Stage by Matt Wilson, namely "Car".
• Cruroar references the sentence that an old man says from the NES game: The Legend of Zelda.
• Cruroar points in the same fashion as Phoenix Wright from the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney series.
• Over 9000 was referenced in the price for the ticket.