Conshow/3

Summary

Cruroar has gone missing! Conchris couldn't care less. Who else could save him from Sirhcnoc?

Transcript

{Introduction sequence, then cut to Conchris' Living Room}

TV: SOMEBODY DYING IN A HOSPITAL DRAMA?! NOT ON MY WATCH! RUAGH! {thump}

CRUROAR: This show's boring, someone change the channel.

CONCHRIS: Okay...

{The channel on the TV changes}

SARRY BCOTT: {on TV} Hi! Sarry Bcott here! I'm here to introduce new Cillit Twang with Tangos! Now you can clean your kitchen surfaces AND make it smell like tangos! {in a demonic voice} Also, I will rip your soul out of your body and sell it for more screen time! {The TV cuts to a kitchen surface with the bottle of "Cillit Twang!"} Cillit Twang! Twang! And the dirt is gone!

CONCHRIS: Nothing good is on TV, there never is.

CRUROAR: Then why do we watch it?

CONCHRIS: For stupidity's sake.

{Cieeia walks in}

CIEEIA: There you two are! Come on! {drags Cruroar off the couch} We're going to the new aquarium that opened!

CRUROAR: {gets up} Yeah, maybe we could find excitement and adventure there.

CONCHRIS: {jumps up} Yeah, maybe Chrionroar will eat all the fish there.

{Cut to the aquarium, Chrionroar is swimming in the water eating pellets in a similar fashion to Pac-Man}

CONCHRIS: Do you think something awesome will happen in an aquarium?

CRUROAR: Well, the shark will probably suddenly start walking and try to kill everybody...

{Pan over to the shark tank, the shark suddenly starts walking on his fin and climbs out of the tank}

SHARK: HA HA HA! SO LONG SUCKERS! {starts to run before running out of breath} Gasp... I need... water... No! Must... rebel... against... natural order! {falls over}

{Pan back}

CIEEIA: Did the writer's imagination tank begun to run on empty?

CONCHRIS: No. This episode must go on!

CRUROAR: Way to break the fourth wall, you idiot!

CONCHRIS: You're an idiot, I hope you disappear.

{A mysterious shadow nabs Cruroar out of nowhere, he then disappears}

CONCHRIS: Wow, Cieeia, I didn't know you were a magician.

CIEEIA: I'M NOT! EVEN IF I DID I WOULD MAKE YOU DISAPPEAR!

CONCHRIS: Woah... no need to shout... sheesh...

CHRIONROAR: {jumps in with seaweed wrapped around him} I got a new high score! Also I reached Level 255, it was a death trap!

{Cut to a Pac-Man like maze, the right-side of the level is glitched up}

CHRIONROAR: I will beat this game! {starts to eat pellets and suddenly dies} MY LAST LIFE! NOOOOOO!

{Cut back to the Aquarium}

CONCHRIS: Fascinating... Wait... {notices that Cieeia is gone} Where'd Cieeia go?

CHRIONROAR: {points in a direction} Over there!

{Pan over to the gift shop, Cieeia looks worried}

CIEEIA: Cruroar? Cruroar! Where'd you go?

{Conchris and Chrionroar walks on-screen}

CONCHRIS: Why are you looking for him?

CIEEIA: He's disappeared somewhere...

CONCHRIS: I'll find him... {pulls out a pen} WITH MY MAGICAL LOCATOR!

{Pause}

CIEEIA: That's a pen.

CONCHRIS: It is so a Magical Locator! I mean, look at it. It's magical and it locates things. {throws the pen in a general direction} LOCATE CRUROAR FOR ME!

MAN: ARGH! MY FREAKING EYE!

CONCHRIS: Wait, that voice sounds familiar... wait, Sirhcnoc! My number 3 enemy!

{Cut to a splash, Sirhcnoc poses in his fighting stance with the words "Sirhcnoc, Conchris' #3 enemy!", he looks at the words and looks confused}

SIRHCNOC: Number 3, what the heck?

{Cut back to the gift shop}

SIRHCNOC: So, you may have found out my identity. In the day, I am Clark... the... Gift Shop man! At night, I am SIRHCNOC! HA HA HA HA HA!

CONCHRIS: You're not a superhero.

SIRHCNOC: I'm a villain, does that count?

CONCHRIS: Whatever.

CIEEIA: What do you want? I swear, if you have kidnapped Cruroar, I will kill you!

SIRHCNOC: I was just about to say that... but if you want your Cruroar alive, you must meet me at the warehouse at night... because, I have... a day job at this gift shop...

CONCHRIS: Alright! You're on!

{Cut to Conchris' room, the clock reads 11 PM}

CIEEIA: Conchris! You're supposed to go out to the warehouse and meet Sirhcnoc! Come on! WAKE UP!

CONCHRIS: {wakes up, yawns and speaks sleepily} Uh? What? It's 11 at night... Let me have my sleep...

CIEEIA: What about Cruroar?!

CONCHRIS: Don't care... {places head on pillow} Do it yourself if you're so inclined.

CIEEIA: Maybe I will! CUE MONTAGE!

{Montage music starts playing, cut to the park at night, Cieeia starts jogging across the path with Forest timing her, Forest looks at the time and starts running off after Cieeia}

{Cut to the Seaside path, Cieeia jogs across the path with Forest on a bike}

CIEEIA: THAT'S MY BIKE!

FOREST: So what? It didn't have your name on it!

CIEEIA: Wait... {zoom out to reveal that Cieeia is wearing a pink jogging suit} Why am I wearing a pink jogging suit?

FOREST: Doesn't matter, where is this warehouse anyway? Or do I have to get a Sat Nav to do my bidding?

CIEEIA: It's right beside the aquarium.

FOREST: That doesn't sound suspicious... not at all.

{They stop outside the aquarium and enter the warehouse beside it, cut to the warehouse, Sirhcnoc is waiting in the shadows}

SIRHCNOC: I've been waiting for yo.... wait.... Where's my #1 enemy?

FOREST: He is sick... of you and your face!

SIRHCNOC: DARN! And I thought I will have a tea party with him before we fight!

{Cut to another dimension, Sirhcnoc and Conchris are sitting down at the table drinking tea}

SIRHCNOC: {with a fake british accent} I say, Conchy my boy, have you been doing anything good lately?

CONCHRIS: Maybe. Chrionroar just ran over five people today, he got arrested and set free on the same day.

SIRHCNOC: HO HO HO! Sounded like jolly good fun!

CONCHRIS: No it wasn't.

SIRHCNOC: Also, that tea is poisoned. {Conchris falls over} Why do I always pick the demonic tea bags?

{Cut to the warehouse in the regular dimension}

SIRHCNOC: So... uh... where's the other one?

{Cieeia jumps in with a pipe}

CIEEIA: Right here!

SIRHCNOC: Oh goody! I get to beat up a defenceless girl this episode? {looking like he is praying} Thank you writer!

{A small glowing orb appears next to him briefly}

WRITER: No prob, brah.

CIEEIA: Your mom's defenceless!

SIRHCNOC: Yeah... she was... until I {demonic voice} DESTROYED HER!

CIEEIA: Whatever, can we just play some fight music and fight or does the writer have to go EMERGENCY PLOT CHANGE on us?!

SIRHCNOC: Sure.

{Fight music plays (Just... use anything that sounds like fight music, I'm not picky), Cieeia and Sirhcnoc jump in the air, they start to beat on each other with fists and pipes, they land on the opposite sides that they were standing}

SIRHCNOC: This is not going to work out so well.

CIEEIA: That's what you get.

SIRHCNOC: Let's see you survive with {brings out a laser blade} A LASER BLADE STUCK IN YOU!?

{Sirhcnoc runs to charge at Cieeia, Cieeia stands there until Sirhcnoc tries to attack her, Cieeia puts up a shield and a clang noise is heard}

SIRHCNOC: ARGH! STUPID PERFECT SHIELDS!

{Cieeia raises the pipe that she was holding and whacks Sirhcnoc over the head with it, she then kicks him up in the air and doles out a few more whacks before sending him into a box, Sirhcnoc climbs out of the box, injured}

SIRHCNOC: Urgh... You're tough for a girl...

CIEEIA: You shouldn't have judged me then.

SIRHCNOC: Whatever, I give you a 10 for style and a -8 in DEATH! {throws laser blade}

{Cieeia dodges the laser blade and runs at Sirhcnoc, Sirhcnoc jumps out of the way at the last second, grabs Cieeia and throws her at the entrance, Cieeia lands on Forest}

FOREST: What the {bleep}? Why are you letting your guard down?

{Cieeia jumps up and picks up the pipe}

FOREST: Oh, I forgot that people fighting can't be interrupted. Carry on.

SIRHCNOC: It's time for Round 2!

CIEEIA: Oh please... you're not about to transform into some hideous apparition, are you?

SIRHCNOC: DANG! Fine, I'll just run away for now... I'll save my final boss transformations for later. But be warned that I will come back tougher than ever. {picks up a bag} Here, have your stupid friend back, I have a street to conquer. {poofs away, leaving the bag behind}

{Cieeia walks up to the bag and opens it, Cruroar jumps out}

CRUROAR: I'm sorry! But Cruroar is in another castle! {Cieeia puts on an annoyed face} Ha ha! Only kidding!

CIEEIA: I came all this way to save you, be thankful!

CRUROAR: Oh. I'm full of thanks.

FOREST: We need one last thing before we end this episode.

CIEEIA: What?

{Forest opens her mouth to say something but the credits start playing before she says anything, after the credits have ended, cut to a black screen reading "END"}