Conshow/9

Summary

The kids from episode 5 are back with a vengeance! They want revenge... and how? By kidnapping Chrionroar's closest friends... No, they're not who you think.

Transcript

{Open to the streets, Cruroar is conversing with Cieeia}

CRUROAR: So you see, I don't really know how we actually survived this long without stopping.

CIEEIA: Well, there was the week-long downtime, remember?

CRUROAR: THE WRITER WAS ON HOLIDAY! HE COULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN EPISODE 9 UNTIL NOW!

{Cieeia shudders}

CRUROAR: What was that about?

CIEEIA: Something's wrong... like, the writer has changed the course of Episode 9 again!

CRUROAR: Well, crush me with a plane! He did!

{Cut to an open shot of the stadium, its banner says "Kidz rool!"}

CRUROAR: Wow, those kids sure are illiterate.

{A plane suddenly comes crashing down onto Cruroar, crushing him}

CRUROAR: I didn't... mean it... literally...

{Opening sequence, Cut to Conchris' house at night, a kid breaks in through the window wearing a bandanna with a beard, he crouches down as if he's contacting someone}

KID: Okay, I'm in.

KID (WALKIE-TALKIE): Why are we doing this again?

KID: METAL GEAR!

KID (WALKIE-TALKIE): There is no Metal Gear, I lied. Now quiet, I think I hear someone coming...

{The lights switch on suddenly, Conchris walks onto the scene and notices the cardboard box}

CONCHRIS: Who knew that there would be a cardboard box in this hallway?! Something is telling me to ignore it, I mean, it doesn't have some sneaky person under it after all, I learned it from school!

{Conchris walks off the scene into the kitchen, the kid comes out from under his cardboard box}

KID: Now... where are they?

{Pan over to the living room, a stop sign and a yield sign with smiley faces are sat down on the couch}

KID: Bingo!

{The kid cautiously walks over to the two signs, he looks around before nabbing them and running out of sight, Conchris walks back onto the scene with water}

CONCHRIS: Wait... why am I wide awake in this particular scene? Maybe it has... {looks at the couch} GASP! The signs are gone! {kneels down before the couch that used to house the signs} Those were his favourites! Oh well, it's not like he'll miss them... much.

{Cut to outside Conchris' house in the morning, Chrionroar screams and then cut into Conchris' Living Room, Chrionroar is in a state of shock}

CHRIONROAR: MR AND MRS STOP SIGNERSONS! THEY'RE GONE!

{Pan left to reveal Cruroar, Forest and Cieeia looking at Chrionroar}

CIEEIA: Uh... should we do something about it?

FOREST: No! I like people being miserable, it's like my secondary power source!

CRUROAR: What's your primary power source?

FOREST: Batteries.

CRUROAR: Great.

{Chrionroar runs on screen and grabs Cruroar by the collar}

CHRIONROAR: DOES YOU HAS STOPSIGNERSONS?!

CRUROAR: No! Also, keep your bad grammar away from me!

CHRIONROAR: NOEZ! {throws Cruroar off-screen through a window}

CIEEIA: Was that necessary?

CHRIONROAR: YES! {grabs Cieeia and throws her through the same window}

FOREST: I suppose you'll throw me too.

CHRIONROAR: YES! {kicks Forest down}

FOREST: Damn. I forgot that he is unpredictable.

{Conchris walks onto the scene, he looks around with a surprised look}

CONCHRIS: Chrionroar, what happened?

CHRIONROAR: MR AND MRS STOPSIGNERSON IS GONE!

KID: {On TV} And they're not coming back!

{Conchris and Chrionroar turn towards the TV that suddenly turned on}

KID: Not unless you agree to play a little game with us.

CHRIONROAR: TETRIS?!

KID: No. We challenge you to a kid's race!

{Pause, Conchris is on the verge of laughter}

CONCHRIS: You're inviting a grown-up to a kid's race! That's ridi- {notices that Chrionroar is gone} Hey... where'd he go?

KID: Uh... I don't know...

{Chrionroar walks in on the scene that the TV is set}

CHRIONROAR: I'M ON TV! HI MOM!

KID: Get out of here!

{The kid grabs Chrionroar and throws him off-screen}

KID: If he still wants to see his precious signs again, tell him to meet us at midnight, and he must come alone!

{Pan right to reveal that Chrionroar is back}

CHRIONROAR: Alone in the darks?!

KID: Sure.

{The TV switches off}

CONCHRIS: Oh no! We need to get you prepared! Who knows what who else they'll put on the tracks alongside the kids!

CHRIONROAR: {about to eat the TV} What nowz?!

CONCHRIS: The race is about to start in like 14 hours! What'll we do 'till then?!

CHRIONROAR: HAS CAKE?!

CONCHRIS: Yeah, sure. {throws a cake at Chrionroar}

CHRIONROAR: TASTES LIKE LIES!

{Cut to the stadium, some children are crowded around a table, Clark opens the door}

KID #1: What do you want?

CLARK: Is the trap set?

KID #1: Yes sir.

CLARK: Excellent.

KID #1: Trust me, he'll come.

CLARK: About your payment...

KID #1: Keep it, seeing that idiot tied up in knots is worth it.

{Cut to the outside of the stadium, Conchris and Chrionroar are standing outside, Greg sits up in the ticket booth}

GREG: May I help you?

CONCHRIS: Uhh... yes, we're here because some kids challenged Chrionroar to a typical kid's race and uh... we need in.

{Greg pushes a button and the door opens}

GREG: Go right ahead.

{Conchris and Chrionroar go through the door, the door suddenly shuts, Greg picks up a walkie-talkie}

GREG: The idiot and his friend is coming, prepare the ninjas!

{Cut to inside the stadium, Conchris and Chrionroar walk in, completely oblivious to the ninjas on the ceiling}

CONCHRIS: Nothing here... Well, I guess I should be going. Have fun! {Conchris runs off}

{Chrionroar takes a few steps forward before the ninjas pounce on him, they tie him up before he says anything and drag him off}

{Cut to Conchris' house}

CIEEIA: You WHAT?!

CONCHRIS: I left him there! There was ninjas on the ceiling!

CRUROAR: How'd you know? It says {brings out a script} right here that you're completely oblivious to them.

CONCHRIS: OBJECTION! {points a finger at Cruroar, accidentally hitting Cieeia in the eye} I was so too un-oblivious to them!

CIEEIA: If there were ninjas on the ceiling, don't you think you want to warn him?

CONCHRIS: Nah, there's no point.

CRUROAR: How about you go back there, alone, and rescue him?!

{Forest butts in onto the scene}

FOREST: I was just about to suggest that, except with a little more violence! {grabs Conchris and throws him off-screen}

{Conchris flies from the house into the stadium, cut to inside the stadium, Clark and the kid are interrogating Chrionroar}

KID: WHERE'S METAL GEAR?!

CLARK: There is no Metal Gear. Now, tell us. Who do you work for?

CHRIONROAR: I WORKS FOR NOBODIES!

CLARK: LIAR! Slap him!

{Conchris flies into the room and hits the bookcase, making it fall over, he gets up}

CONCHRIS: Ow... what a flight...

CLARK: WHAT?!

KID: WHO?!

CHRIONROAR: WHERE?!

CONCHRIS: Err... {pulls out the laser blade and readies} STOP! I can't let you reveal more secrets!

CLARK: Is that so? Ninjas.

{The ninjas drop down from the ceiling and surround Conchris}

CLARK: Enjoy your epic fight... {walks off-screen with the kid}

CONCHRIS: Wow... no epic talk scene or anything! Whatever, let's do this!

{The ninjas close in on Conchris and tie him up, they place him in a chair beside Chrionroar}

CONCHRIS: We're screwed right?

NINJA: You very screwed.

CONCHRIS: I knew it.

{An explosion noise is heard, pan right to reveal Forest w/ Cruroar and Cieeia in the blown wall}

CRUROAR: Stop! This show can't continue without an epic fight!

NINJA: Epic fight you shall get.

FOREST: Bring it!

CIEEIA: Uh... sure.

{The ninjas run at the trio as they split up, Cruroar tries to fire his solar gun before two ninjas grab his arms, he kicks the both of them off and fires a shot at the first ninja}

CRUROAR: Admiring my arms?! What is the world coming to?

{Forest stands there as four ninjas close in on her, they pile up on Forest before she breaks out, the ninjas are then blasted out of the stadium and Forest stands up}

FOREST: Denied!

{Cieeia nervously backs into the corner as three ninjas close in on her}

CIEEIA: S-Stay back! I've got a pipe! And I'm not afraid to bash you upside the head with it!

NINJA: You bash us? Ha ha ha! You make funny joke! Ha ha...

{Cieeia lunges at the ninja and bashes him upside the head with the pipe, she stares at the other two, who then scuttle off, the ninjas regroup}

NINJA: You very good fighters. But can you handle thousand ninjas?

CRUROAR: WHAT?!

NINJA: Get them boys!

{299 ninjas enter the scene}

NINJA: What?! Only 299?

NINJA #154: Most were laid off due to price cuts.

NINJA: Oh.

{The 300 ninjas close in on the trio}

CIEEIA: Cruroar?

CRUROAR: Yes?

CIEEIA: What do we do now?

CRUROAR: Uh... pray?

FOREST: That's the most pathetic answer I've ever heard.

CIEEIA: Look!

{A stop sign flings at the lead ninja and knocks him over, pan over to Conchris and Chrionroar, who somehow got out of the chairs}

NINJA #121: They out of chair! Get them!

VOICE: No.

{The door bursts open revealing Sirhcnoc}

SIRHCNOC: Leave them, they win.

NINJA: But we just about to have epic fight!

SIRHCNOC: Save it for episode 10, minion. Now scram!

{The ninjas scuttle off, leaving Conchris, Chrionroar, Cieeia, Cruroar and Forest with Sirhcnoc}

SIRHCNOC: I hope you don't mind if I join the party!

{A box appears reading "Sirhcnoc has joined your party!"}

CONCHRIS: He's awful, he's only level 1, he'll die too quickly!

SIRHCNOC: Shut up! Now, I'd like to let you free.

CONCHRIS: What about the kid's race?

SIRHCNOC: Screw the rules! I have money!

CRUROAR: Seriously?

SIRHCNOC: No... Now, let me explain my genius plan...

{Cut to a time card reading "One boring explanation later", after three seconds, cut back}

SIRHCNOC: And that is how the dinosaurs died out.

CONCHRIS: Was that even relevant to the plan?!

SIRHCNOC: NO!

CIEEIA: Wait a second, you had another plan?!

SIRHCNOC: WHO SAYS I CAN'T HAVE TWO PLANS?! {grabs Cieeia by the collar} DUMB LIARS THAT'S WHO!

CRUROAR: Wasn't that a derived line that Conchris said a few episodes back?

{They all stare at each other with odd looks}

WRITER: EMERGENCY PLOT CHANGE!!

{Cut to the racetrack, Chrionroar is standing on the middle of the podium with two kids, a flag sits beside them}

KID #1: I knew that teleportation didn't work...

CHRIONROAR: A WINNAR IS ME! {grabs the trophy and eats it, he then eats the podium and the flag, Conchris and Cruroar spectate this}

CONCHRIS: It's a happy ending!

CRUROAR: No... it's not. {looks around before acting surprised} HOLY CRAP IS THAT A TANK?!

{Sirhcnoc bursts in riding a tank}

SIRHCNOC: DIE!

{Credit sequence, after it is finished, cut to the hospital}

DOCTOR: Now, you three get some rest. You were all lucky to have survived a tank explosion. {walks off}

{Pause, Sirhcnoc looks over at Conchris}

SIRHCNOC: This is all your fault!

CONCHRIS: My fault?! It was Chrionroar who thought the tank tasted like chocolate!

CHRIONROAR: I FEEL ASLEEP!

{Chrionroar grabs the vase with flowers and eats it}

SIRHCNOC: I can't wait for episode 10...

CONCHRIS: Whatever.

{Cut to a black screen with the words "END" on it}