Conshow/11

Summary

When a band called "2ba" rolls into town, they somehow become big hits! But Cruroar isn't that convinced...

Transcript

{Open to the streets}

CONCHRIS: Season 1 wrapped up quite finely if you ask me.

CRUROAR: You're telling me... But I have one thing on my mind...

CONCHRIS: What?

{Zoom out to reveal Wikity is wrapped in a gift box}

CRUROAR: WHY ARE WE IN A GIFT BOX?!

{Intro sequence, after it finishes, cut to Conchris' House - Living room}

CONCHRIS: You know, everything's changed since the last season.

CRUROAR: Why are you still going on about last season?!

CONCHRIS: I don't know.

CRUROAR: Look! Something's on TV!

{The camera cuts to the Television}

MR. TV: Hi! I'm Mr. TV!

CONCHRIS: Uh... hello Mr. TV?

MR. TV: On today's news, a band came into Wikity and they somehow became big hits overnight! A new record!

CRUROAR: I knew trying to save the world with music was a bad idea!

CONCHRIS: Since when can musical instruments be used as weapons?

CRUROAR: Since anthropomorphic animals came in.

MR. TV: They are now at the Stadium awaiting autographs and whatnot. Later! {The TV somehow switches off}

CRUROAR: Amazing what you can do to people's televisions...

CONCHRIS: Big hits overnight? That sounds... impossible.

CRUROAR: Your mom's impossible.

CONCHRIS: Ow. What a burn.

{Some music suddenly starts to play loudly, Cruroar covers his ears}

CONCHRIS: What was that noise?!

CRUROAR: IT SOUNDS LIKE A CAT BEING CHOKED TO DEATH!

CONCHRIS: OH! RIGHT! WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?!

CRUROAR: I DON'T KNOW!

{Cieeia walks onto the scene}

CIEEIA: HEY THERE!

CRUROAR: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

CIEEIA: WHAT?

CRUROAR: I SAID... {music stops} WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

CIEEIA: OW! My ears!

CRUROAR: Sorry, but seriously, what do you want?

CIEEIA: Can I have the keys to the car?

CONCHRIS: Woah woah woah! We have a car now?!

CRUROAR: Yeah, it's been sitting outside this entire time. Of course, nobody actually uses it.

CONCHRIS: That's because walking is good for you!

CIEEIA: Yeah, until someone decides to sic the entirety of the undead on you!

CONCHRIS: Good point.

CRUROAR: Why do you want them?

CIEEIA: To go to the stadium!

CONCHRIS: I knew it. You owe me 20 bucks!

CRUROAR: We didn't even bet anything!

CONCHRIS: I betted... with my mind. I can do that you know.

CRUROAR: You don't have mind powers!

CONCHRIS: I sure do! I'll show you! {faces the camera} Place the controller on the ground as flat as you can.

CRUROAR: That doesn't make any sense! Besides, it's not like anyone is going to view this through a console or anything.

CONCHRIS: Okay... err... I think I know who you are... Are you this guy?

CRUROAR: {with obvious sarcasm} Yeah, it's like anyone is going to fall for that.

CONCHRIS: Whatever, we're derailing the topic here.

CIEEIA: Uh, hello? I think you're ignoring someone here...

CONCHRIS: WHO SAID YOU CAN INTERRUPT?!

CIEEIA: I did? And besides, I'm going to the stadium to meet 2ba.

CONCHRIS: 2ba?!
CRUROAR: 2wha?!

CIEEIA: Check the episode title, later.

{Cieeia walks out of the scene, Cruroar and Conchris stare at each other confused}

CRUROAR: Do you know who they are?!

CONCHRIS: All I know is that they somehow became big hits.

CRUROAR: Something's not right... {puts on a detective's hat} We need to investigate!

{Timeswipe, the scene shifts to the police station}

CRUROAR: Don't you think that's odd, Mr. Generic?

{Officer Generic looks up from his newspaper}

OFFICER GENERIC: Nope, I mean, anyone can make a song that sounds like strangling an animal these days and instantly become famous for doing so.

CONCHRIS: Wow! That's a really helpful tip!

OFFICER GENERIC: Well, it's not. Don't strangle animals.

CRUROAR: Will you help us on this investigation?

OFFICER GENERIC: Yeeeeaahhh-No.

CRUROAR: WHAT?!

OFFICER GENERIC: We police don't meddle with the main characters. Why? Because we're all jerks. Now let me get back to doing my duties.

CONCHRIS: And that's reading a newspaper?

OFFICER GENERIC: Err... yes, it is one of my duties....

CRUROAR: That must be the best job ever.

OFFICER GENERIC: Yes, now get out of my office.

{Cut to outside the police station}

CRUROAR: Well that sucked.

CONCHRIS: Yeah, an episode without Cieeia is like an episode... without...

CRUROAR: Free candy?!

CONCHRIS: Humour. {throws Cruroar off-screen}

MAN: Ow! Watch where you're throwing people, man!

{Pan right to reveal a stereotypically handsome man}

CRUROAR: Who are you?

MAN: Me? My name isn't even important.

CONCHRIS: Then why is your name "Man" in the script?

MAN: It's a generic name for people with no names, okay?!

CRUROAR: Sure.

MAN: Anyway, do you know where the stadium is? I'm supposed to be there to sign autographs.

CRUROAR: 2ba?!

MAN: That's it man. Now, where's the stadium?

CONCHRIS: Behind us.

{Zoom out to reveal the stadium}

MAN: Thanks dude! {runs off}

{Cruroar picks himself up off the ground}

CRUROAR: Wow, that guy was stereotypical.

CONCHRIS: Yeah, I mean the script said it.

CRUROAR: Wait a minute... did you see him carry a knife in his left pocket?!

CONCHRIS: Kind of strange if you ask me. But then again, everyone is out to get you on these streets.

CRUROAR: No! Who else would carry a weapon?!

CONCHRIS: Uhh... us?

CRUROAR: Yeah, but that's only when it's called for... Wait a second... Cieeia's in trouble! {runs off}

CONCHRIS: Have fun, I'm just going to stand here alone and make unoriginal jokes and chat with the writer. Isn't that right, Writer?

WRITER: No. {flies away}

CONCHRIS: Damn it.

{Cut to inside the stadium, everyone is lining up for autographs, Cruroar bursts in through the door}

CRUROAR: STOP! YOU'RE PRAISING CRIMINALS!

MAN: You again?

CRUROAR: You!

MAN: You're that guy who that other guy flung into me, right?

CRUROAR: Yeah, well...

MAN: Are you accusing us as criminals?

CRUROAR: Err... YEAH! I mean, you all take drugs and whatnot without us looking, right?!

MAN: Dude... we're not potheads!

CIEEIA: Cruroar! What are you doing?

CRUROAR: That man has a knife in his left pocket!

MAN: GASP! How do you know?!

CRUROAR: I just noticed! Now show us!

{The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out an army knife}

MAN: Yeah, what about this knife do you find interesting? Is it the mini TV?

CRUROAR: No! You were...

MAN: Listen buddy, nobody here is a criminal... Now get lost!

CRUROAR: NO!

MAN: Security...

{Several burly guards surround Cruroar}

MAN: Take him away. Also, {looks at Cieeia} why don't you ditch the loser and hang out with me?

CIEEIA: How can I possibly resist?

{Cruroar tries to struggle against the guards and their grasp, but to no avail}

CRUROAR: CIEEIA! NO!

{The guards throw Cruroar out of the stadium, making him land on a car, Conchris is standing next to it}

CONCHRIS: Dude! You've ruined the car!

CRUROAR: Ow... Sorry.

CONCHRIS: What happened in there?

CRUROAR: Cieeia... gone... The man taken her...

CONCHRIS: Meh, she's a girl, she'll change her mind.

CRUROAR: I don't think that's possible... {coughs} Can you... drag me across the street?

{Scene transition to Conchris' House - Kitchen with the words "Two days later" on the bottom of the screen, Cruroar is cutting himself with knifes, Conchris comes in}

CONCHRIS: Uh... what are you doing?

CRUROAR: What do you think I'm doing?

CONCHRIS: It looks like you're cutting yourself...

CRUROAR: Yeah... I can't live without Cieeia anymore... Now if you'll excuse me I'll lock myself in the basement for three episodes.

{Cruroar gets up and scampers off, Conchris looks at the camera}

CONCHRIS: If Cruroar is gone, this show can't go on! I need to get Cieeia back!

{Cut to the stadium, the man from before with three others are crowded around the altar, the guards are holding back the crowd and preventing their escape}

MAN: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA! Soon, this girl's spirit will be mine!

CIEEIA: HELP!

{A crashing sound is heard and Chrionroar and Conchris burst in}

CHRIONROAR: {heroic voice} Fear not! For Stop Man is here to save the day!

CONCHRIS: You're not a super hero.

CHRIONROAR: ARE TOOS?!

CONCHRIS: What are you guys doing up there?

MAN: GACK! I didn't expect you to invade!

CONCHRIS: Yeah, now where's the pizza? I was told there was pizza at this party.

MAN: Fool! The pizza... was a lie!

CONCHRIS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-{coughs}-OOOOOOOOooooooo...

CHRIRONROAR: A LOTS OF O! A LOT! A LOT! A LOT!

MAN: Silence! This girl's spirit is all we need for world conquest!

CONCHRIS: Tell me, how did you get popular overnight?

MAN: Well... we have a time machine, we actually came from the future! We're not so popular in the future because they hate our music! But your kind... they like it! We need spirits from girls to power it! Just you try and stop us!

CONCHRIS: Well, I'm about to stop you!

{Conchris jumps up and prepares to strike the man, but not before the police officers come onto the scene and arrests the band}

OFFICER GENERIC: We're here to take all the glory from the main characters and be praised as heroes!

MAN: Drat, drat and double drat! Foiled again!

OFFICER GENERIC: There's a nice, comfy jail cell that is longing to make your acquaintance... {drags the man away}

MAN: Wait! I need to have my "I'll get you next time, hero!" line!

OFFICER GENERIC: Nobody's having it whilst I'm around!

{The officer and the man are out of sight, Cieeia gets up from the altar}

CIEEIA: How anti-climatic.

CONCHRIS: Yeah. I didn't expect them to steal the glory...

{Conchris looks up at the sky}

CONCHRIS: Next episode, Officer Generic! NEXT EPISODE!

{Timeswipe to Conchris' House - Living Room}

CONCHRIS: Everything worked out after all!

CIEEIA: Yeah!

{An explosion is heard from the basement, Cruroar stumbles out of the basement door holding a stick of dynamite}

CRUROAR: {coughs} Okay... Conchris, why did you invent the regenerating dynamite?

CONCHRIS: DON'T...

{The house explodes in a big firey explosion}

{Cue credit sequence}

{Cut to a black screen with the words "END" on it}