Conshow/61

Summary

The Conshow... once a force of its time was finished back in 2008. Now that it's over, it seems that the show will no longer go on... but the writer has other plans... Elipisis...

Transcript

{Open to a dark room, the only light on in said room is a spotlight hanging above a TV, the camera slowly zooms in on the TV which suddenly turns on, first to white noise and then to clips from the previous episodes of the Conshow} {This music plays here (Up to 59 seconds)}

NARRATOR: It was the year 2008, one man named Conchris decided to shut down his email show to get into the show business and he did, with the aid of Jake, once called Cruroar, and Katie, once called Cieeia, and also other people such as Forest, Aria, Mr. Person, Sirhcnoc and Greg.

{Cut to a clip from episode 60, showing the ruins of Wikity}

NARRATOR: But alas, time has moved on and the writer gave up his privleges to write for the Conshow, effectively shutting it down for good after giving each character their own tie ups, it seems like the show was done for good... until...

{Cut to the writer's office, the area is dimly lit}

NARRATOR: ...one day, a familiar being finds a familiar office... let's watch as we witness history in the making...

{A couple of banging noises can be heard from the door as though someone was trying to get in, after this had failed, a jingling noise is heard followed by a click and a clack, the door opens, revealing the Writer. He feels around for the light switch and turns it on, showing that everything in the room is just as he had left it, even the award that was lying on the ground when he left. Everything in the room had been gathering dust the last time he was here...}

WRITER: Man, it's been a while. So many things had happened. {He bends down to pick up the award, upsetting the dust on it} Heh, Conshow. I wonder what that guy's up to now...?

{The writer turns to look at the photo of the main cast, zooming in on Conchris before fading to black}

{Pause, and then cue introduction with this theme}

CONSHOW BY CONCHRIS

{Cut to Conchris, smiling wryly before getting crushed by his name}

CONCHRIS (So good to be back!)

{Cut to a blue screen, with Sarry Bcott with a rainbow-coloured bluetit on his shoulder}

SARRY BCOTT (Hi, Sarry Bcott here!) PLUMBOOSE (Tweet.)

{Finally cut to an open shot of the previously shown members along with a couple of unidentifiable cast members, the camera zooms out a bit before settling. A car passes by showing the words:}

WRITTEN BY CONCHRIS THE WRITER

CONSHOW

{Music Aid: Diablo 1 and 2 - Tristram Village plays throughout the entire scene up until the next music aid}

{Cut to Wiki User City, which is being unusually quiet for its time, the camera zooms in and pans by a few deserted buildings all while the wind is whistling. This goes on for a while before it stops at the entrance to a train station. Sounds of a train approaching and screeching to a halt are heard and then the door opens revealing Conchris}

CONCHRIS: Man, it's good to be back in...

{Cut to what Conchris is seeing, which is an empty street with a piece of paper floating about and a haybale rolling on by}

CONCHRIS: ...Wiki... User... Cit...y. What happened here?

{Just as Conchris asks the question, he gets slapped in the face by the piece of paper from earlier. He pulls it off and gives it a read}

CONCHRIS: {reading} Wiki User City population levels decreasing, signs of activity dwindling... {throws paper away, shocked} My goodness! Things have changed! For the worse! {kneels down as though pleading for mercy} Why! Why must my life be full of misery and woe! There is no hope! {pounds the ground with his fist} You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

{A portal to Hell opens, and out comes Sarry looking more handsome and richer than ever. He smiles in a mocking manner at Conchris}

SARRY: That could be arranged, my good friend!

CONCHRIS: {notices Sarry and stands} Huh, what? Sarry? You look...

SARRY: {looks offended} What? Just because the show I starred in ended means I have to stay in constant woe and despair and unchangingness? No no no. Not when Cillit Twang started flying off the shelves just after the show ended! Twang! And the dirt is gone!

CONCHRIS: Oh, I see. You're mocking me. I have no place left to g-{sounds of wings flapping can be heard} What's that?

{Music aid: Drawn to Life (DS video game) - False Hope}

SARRY: {puts on a confused expresssion, looking around} Huh? What?

{Conchris points up to the sky pointing out a rainbow-coloured bluetit flying in his direction}

CONCHRIS: That!

{The bird swoops in, landing on Sarry's head, who looks up in admiration}

SARRY: My word, that's the rare rainbow-coloured Plumboose. I thought those only existed in legend!

CONCHRIS: And it's carrying a note! {the bird spits the note at him, making him fall over} Ow.

{Conchris's vision is blinded by the note before Sarry picks it up and starts reading}

SARRY: {reading} Dear Conches, your show is getting a reboot, we're back in business! Signed, your writer.

CONCHRIS: {stares in disbelief} What? You mean...

SARRY: It seems this rainbow-coloured Plumboose has been sent to tell you that the Conshow is coming back, isn't that great?

CONCHRIS: {camera has an extreme close-up of his mouth, now turned realistic as he mouths out 'Oh. My. God.' and zooms out again} I need to go find Cruroar and Cieeia! {hops to his feet} Thanks great Plumboose. Goodbye, Sarry. {runs off-screen, leaving Sarry and the bird behind}

{The bird flutters off, leaving Sarry by his lonesome, he smiles softly}

SARRY: It'll be good to be a minor character again...

{Intro, again, except with a few changes}

{Music aid: here}

CONSHOW BY CONCHRIS

{Jake Goodwin (Cruroar) and Katie Goldilin shows up, jumping in from the top of the screen. They pose in a very hardboiled manner}

JAKE GOODWIN and KATIE GOLDILIN (Back in action)

{Cut to Conchris, smiling wryly before getting crushed by his name}

CONCHRIS (So good to be back!)

{Cut to a blue screen, Aria pops up from the bottom posing cheerfully before noticing that there's nobody else where she is}

ARIA (Yes, you're alive again.)

{Then cut to another blue screen, Mr Person shows up giving a shy wave}

MR PERSON (You too.)

{Finally cut to an open shot of the previously shown members along with a couple of unidentifiable cast members, the camera zooms out a bit before settling. A car passes by showing the words:}

WRITTEN BY CONCHRIS THE WRITER

CONSHOW

{Open to a shot of Reedsen, a wonderful place with a lake and everything that one could ever need. The camera pans quietly up to a house on the hill, somewhat separate from the rest of the city. It zooms in and cuts to the living room showing two familiar people lounging around watching TV}

TV: {manly voice} Quiet! I'm as strong as an ant, if an ant was THIS big! {incoherent chattering with the occasional laser noise and explosion}

CRUROAR: Man, this show's gone downhill since Veheta died.

CIEEIA: {sleepily} Mhm...

{Beat, which is then followed by Cruroar sitting up, laying a hand on Cieeia's sleepy head}

CRUROAR: Say, remember the Conshow? Years in the past but not too long ago?

CIEEIA: {suddenly awake} Mhm.

CRUROAR: I remember the very first episode we did on that show. {smiles nostalgically before coughing} {poor imitation of Conchris} We all know that automechanics tamper with the batteries, {Cieeia giggles} so you have to go back to them in a week. {Conchris chimes in at this point} But you can't do jack! 'cause they're, you know, tied... to the mafia... CONCHRIS: ...{chimes in with Cruroar} But you can't do jack! 'cause they're, you know, tied... to the mafia...

{Cruroar suddenly snaps out of his nostalgic daze to notice that Conchris is standing behind the couch. He yelps in horror as he leaps out of his seat, knocking Cieeia over}

CRUROAR: HOW DID YOU GET IN?! As a matter of fact... HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE WE LIVE?!

CONCHRIS: Oh, {shrugs} you know, there were signposts leading to this house, and you left the door open.

{Cut to the open door}

CRUROAR: Oh... I see... but now... {camera cuts back to the couch, Cieeia is now sitting up, staring at Conchris as though she had never seen him before} wh-

CIEEIA: What do you want from us?!

{Cruroar holds up a sign saying, "We really need to fix your line stealing problem..."}

CONCHRIS: Good question. {epic music starts playing and puts on a serious face} I'm on a quest to start a reboot of an old show, one that could stand the test of time. I'm going to revive one of the greatest text fictions of all time. {looks unsure} ...according to a bunch of people back in 2008, or was it 2009? I dunno.

CRUROAR: So, The SkullB Show? Why ask us?

CONCHRIS: {facepalms} No, no, no. Not that one, though I'm not sure where Skully is now, probably living it up in... {pauses for a moment as if to say something} I lost my train of thought. But the point is, we're bringing back the Consh-

{Cruroar suddenly leaps up to shush Conchris, followed by Cieeia jumping onto her feet}

CRUROAR and CIEEIA: We're in!

CONCHRIS: {thinking} Well, that was easy. {speaking} Now we just need a few more people...

CRUROAR: Hm...

{Cieeia suddenly pops up in front of the camera, pointing in a non-specific direction}

CIEEIA: I know, we could go find Aria and Mr Person!

CONCHRIS: I thought she hated your guts.

CRUROAR: No, the whole situation was defused after the Conshow ended. Aria went on to be an actress with Mr Person as her manager, she's been pretty successful.

CIEEIA: And I know just where to find her...

{Cut to outside Reedsen theater, a crowd of people are chattering and murmuring away until Aria comes out, and then the cheering starts, followed by Mr Person following her. Aria smiles and waves whilst Mr Person gets pelted with cans, bottles, razor blades and an orange cat. The pair stops in their tracks as Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia comes onto the scene}

ARIA: Katie! Good to see you again! How's life?

CONCHRIS: Oh, I forgot your names were different...

KATIE (CIEEIA): Yep! {addressing Aria} Life's been a bit dull, that is until Conches showed up. {she grins} We're starting up the Conshow again!

ARIA: {taken aback} Conshow?! That old thing? The one that ended after a year of running?

CONCHRIS: Yes.

{Aria turns to Mr Person and murmurs amongst themselves for a few moments before she turns to look at the trio}

ARIA: Can we sign up?

CONCHRIS: Well, there's no sign up but you can joi-

ARIA: {interrupts Conchris, a glimmer of hope in her eyes} -Can we be main characters?

{Conchris pauses for a moment to look at Aria and Mr Person, the crowd is now growing restless as their demands for autographs are ignored}

CONCHRIS: ...eh... sure.

ARIA: YES! {turns to look at Mr. Person} You hear that, Mr Person? We're going to be main characters on the Conshow!

MR PERSON: Neat! Now, ergh... {takes off a banana skin from the top of his head} Can we get out of here?

{Cut to the house on a hill, the five members of the cast stare out over Reedsen}

JAKE (CRUROAR): You know, this is very familiar.

CONCHRIS: Yeah.

{Beat}

JAKE: You better not be thinking of any ideas...

CONCHRIS: {grins at Jake} ...because I will patent it... with my patentator! {pulls out a rubber stamp}

{Chuckling can be heard as the camera pans up to the sun, setting over Reedsen}

CONCHRIS: {v.o.} It's good to be back...

{Fade to black}

{Intro starts again, this time with final changes}

{Music aid: here}

INTRO: Five people get together to do stuff in a city. The goal? To revive one of the greatest text fictions of all time! They failed, now witness the failure... CONSHOW!!

{Jake Goodwin (Cruroar) and Katie Goldilin shows up, jumping in from the top of the screen. They pose in a very hardboiled manner}

JAKE GOODWIN and KATIE GOLDILIN (Back in action)

{Cut to Conchris, smiling wryly before getting crushed by his name}

CONCHRIS (So good to be back!)

{Cut to a blue screen, Aria pops up from the bottom posing cheerfully before noticing that there's nobody else where she is}

ARIA (Yes, you're a main character now)

{Then cut to another blue screen, Mr Person shows up giving a shy wave}

MR PERSON (You too)

{Finally cut to an open shot of the previously shown members along with a couple of unidentifiable cast members, the camera zooms out a bit before settling. A car passes by showing the words:}

WRITTEN BY CONCHRIS THE WRITER

CONSHOW

{Cut to Jake's house - Living Room, Conchris and Jake are sitting on the couch}

CONCHRIS: You know automechanics tamper with the batteries, so you have to go back to them in a week. But you can't do jack, 'cause they're... you know... tied... to the mafia...

JAKE: When are we going to stop recycling old stolen scripts?

CONCHRIS: {holds up a script with the word 'STOLEN' and 'OLD' crossed out} This script isn't stolen or old! It's borrowed and renewed! Get it right!

{Credits}

{Cut to a black screen with the word "END" on it}