Conshow/67

Summary

The Conshow gets its idiot back... and then some.

CAST: Conchris, Sirhcnoc, Reedsen Citizens, Some Guy, Alpha-Fred-001 Chrionroar

INTRO GAG: None

= Transcript

{Open to a black screen with the words "Last time on Conshow..."}

CONCHRIS: {v.o.} The last time on the Conshow...

{Cut to The Streets, Sirhcnoc is getting his face fried off by a shark's laser beam}

SIRHCNOC: AHHHHHHHHHH-

{Cut back to said black screen, the previous words replaced with "And now the Conshow..."}

CONCHRIS: {v.o.} And now... the Conshow...

{Intro}

{Cut to The Streets, Sirhcnoc is still screaming for his life}

MAN #1: Say you're sorry!

SIRHCNOC: AhhhhhhIwilldonosuchthinghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

MAN #2: Hey, man? Shouldn't we, you know, reprimand him and let him go? I mean, we've been doing this for, like, a few weeks no-

MAN #1: Shut up.

{Cut to the rooftops, Conchris is standing, looking over the crowd gathered}

CONCHRIS: They dare hurt our villain without our permission? How dare they! I'll stop this... with this grappling... {pulls out a pen} ...pen. {clicks the pen, shooting out a grappling hook towards the ground which lands with a clink. Conchris then prepares to jump} Hup!

{Conchris jumps off the building, and immediately falls to the ground with a loud thud}

CONCHRIS: {weakly} I should've planned that better...

MAN #1: Hey look! It's the Conchris!

CROWD: {murmuring} It's the Conches! Ohmigawd. Why did he do that? Who's Conchris?

{Conchris recovers, standing up}

CONCHRIS: Yes, it's me, and now... I'm here for something... {clicks the pen in Sirhcnoc's direction} This something.

{The grappling hook hooks Sirhcnoc and sends him flying in Conchris's direction}

CONCHRIS: Well, see ya. {runs off, Sirhcnoc flying after him}

SIRHCNOC: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

MAN #3: Ahm... okay...

{Crickets chirp}

MAN #1: Shut up.

{Cut to another part of The Streets, Conchris runs along for a bit before ducking into a nearby alleyway with Sirhcnoc bounding around the corner and crashing into a nearby wall}

SIRHCNOC: {collapses onto the ground, landing on his buttocks} Ow.

CONCHRIS: My apologies, was just saving our designated villain, that's all.

SIRHCNOC: Designated villain? But I haven't done any villainy yet!

CONCHRIS: Yeah, whatever. A show with a storyline of sorts really can't survive without a villain to be honest.

SIRHCNOC: Well, I can name a few...

CONCHRIS: Quiet, you! Now... erm... {camera zooms out} ...now... what?

SIRHCNOC: I don't know... production values sure have went done since the last time the Conshow started.

CONCHRIS: Yeaahhh...

{Beat}

{A robotic butler wheels on-screen, wielding a shotgun}

ROBO-BUTLER: Excuse me, kind sirs, but you are trespassing on private property owned by Sir Chrionroar the Twenty-Fifth. You are to vacate these premises immediately or I will be authorized to use lethal force to persecute you.

CONCHRIS: You're not the boss of me!

ROBO-BUTLER: Oh... but I am the boss of you... {narrows eyes}

SIRHCNOC: How can it do that?

ROBO-BUTLER: {fires off a warning shot} Please, sirs, vacate immediately or I will be forced to use lethal force.

{Conchris and Sirhcnoc stare at each other for a few seconds, before immediately bolting, the robot butler in pursuit}

SIRHCNOC: THIS IS A REALLY BAD IDEA.

CONCHRIS: I KNOW! {glances at the camera} Look! There's an open window! Let's escape through there!

SIRHCNOC: ARE YOU EVEN SURE THAT WILL WORK?!

{The two jump through the window and land in a dramatic fashion, sounds of someone clapping off-screen is heard. The camera cuts to this person, revealing the clapper to be Chrionroar, sitting on a comfy chair by a fire and sipping tea with a monocle}

CONCHRIS: Chrionroar?

CHRIONROAR: It's Sir Chrionroar the Twenty-Fifth to you, my good sirs. Did Alpha-Fred-001 frighten you?

SIRHCNOC: Well, he did try to kill us?

CHRIONROAR: Ha ha ha. Don't mind the butler, he's just doing his job, although his job is not very pleasant. The mailman from last week almost got his legs shot off, had to get my servant reprogrammed. {Some Guy, who is wearing a suit, walks on-screen, holding a silver platter adorned with drinks} Would any of you two like a drink? And a seat?

CONCHRIS: Erm... sure?

SIRHCNOC: I don't see why not...

{The pair takes a drink each and sits down on opposing seats}

CHRIONROAR: Now then... now that we've gotten the whole mess of things out of the way, let's have a change of topic. You there, Conchris, how goes the new show?

CONCHRIS: You knew about the Conshow coming back?

CHRIONROAR: But of course! I have TV with over 500 different channels but nothing to watch. It's a very dreadful problem, if you so recall.

CONCHRIS: Erm... yeah.

CHRIONROAR: And you, Clark, still looking for a sidekick for your mischievous escapades I see?

SIRHCNOC: I guess... the folks down in Reedsen tried to kill me though.

CHRIONROAR: Yes, they've been trying to do that since Super Gore Killfest 5000 was released.

CONCHRIS: Oh, you mean that new gore-fest game?

CHRIONROAR: Yes... that one. Now... I would like to make a proposition for your little show...

CONCHRIS: Pardon?

CHRIONROAR: A proposition, for your show. I want to come back.

{DUN DUN DUN!}

SIRHCNOC: How is that dramatic?

CONCHRIS: Shut up.

{Credits}

Written by Conchris

Thanks:
Dota 2 for being a game I play too often now
Monaco (the game not the city) for being a game that doesn't involve killing everything in sight.

No Thanks:
Sony for not planning on releasing Dr. Mario on the PS4
Microsoft for WHY WHYHJFGSJK?!?!??

Next time on Conshow:
The Artifact of Idiocy a.k.a Episode 69 lol