Conshow/5

Summary

Forest enters a robot tournament in a rush to get a new sledgehammer to whack Chrionroar over the head with. Conchris tries to protest against this.

This episode (and show from here on out) may contain mild language, violence or themes. Or a mix of two or all of them.

Transcript

{Fade out to Black Space, Conchris walks in}

CONCHRIS: Hello! And welcome to episode 5! I'm actually surprised that the writer can go this far without abandoning it.

{Cruroar pops in}

CRUROAR: Yeah! But didn't he have previous experience beforehand?

CONCHRIS: I don't think Email Show experience can be converted into Show experience.

CRUROAR: {grabs Conchris by the collar} What about all those webtoons he watched, huh? He got some ideas from those. He also guest-starred in the first Wikihood and wrote an email for an OCE's contest on the HRFWiki!

CONCHRIS: And you know this, how?

CRUROAR: He wrote over one-hundred emails for Con_email.wue! What writing experience doesn't he have?

{Pause}

CONCHRIS: Nevermind, let's get this middle of the season episode going.

{Cut to the Aquarium Gift Shop}

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: {thinking} Fools... Soon, I will be the one asking you all to price check for me. Soon, I will...

{Zoom out to reveal a man holding a notepad}

MAN: Dude, can you finish your monologue quickly? I need you to price check this.

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Oh! Sorry! {grabs the notepad and price checks it whilst thinking} Fools...

{Greg comes up from behind the counter}

GREG: {whispering} Psst. Did you see that guy over there?

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: {whispering} What guy?

GREG: You know, that guy over there with some other guy?

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: What about them?

GREG: Maybe we could hire those two to do something for us.

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Can we do this later? I need to finish my shift.

{Greg disappears behind the counter and Clark keeps on price-checking, cut to Conchris' House, Inside}

CONCHRIS: {picks up a newspaper} Interesting...

{Cieeia pops in}

CIEEIA: What's interesting?

CONCHRIS: Your mom. {drums clash, a bag of money appears next to Conchris}

CIEEIA: {looking unamused} Ha ha. Very funny. But seriously, what's interesting?

CONCHRIS: They're holding a tournament for robots. That's funny. I didn't know Wikity even held robot tournaments before.

{Forest walks in}

FOREST: Did I hear anything about a robot tournament? {to herself} Finally, I will be able to take part in a non-human competition. Maybe I will be able to find other robots that will help me in the robot uprising. Also, if I win, I'll be able to tell everyone how much they fail, badly. Also...

CIEEIA: Forest? Something wrong?

FOREST: N-Nothing.

CONCHRIS: Good, because it says here that the grand prize is 20,000 dollars.

FOREST: Which is just the right amount of cash to buy a new sledgehammer!

CIEEIA: Hmm... how convenient...

{Cruroar comes in}

CRUROAR: Wait a second! WE HAVEN'T PLAYED THE INTRO YET!

{Pause}

CONCHRIS: I think the writer will get onto that...

{Intro sequence, after it is finished, cut back to Conchris' House, Inside}

CONCHRIS: Right, we've played the intro... and... {zoom out to reveal that Forest is gone} Where'd Forest go?

CIEEIA: I think she's gone out to the stadium that they somehow built really quickly.

CONCHRIS: We got to stop her!

CRUROAR: Yeah! We can't get sidetracked!

{Cut to the streets, Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia are chasing an ice cream truck}

CONCHRIS: GET BACK HERE ICE CREAM MAN!

MR. PERSON: I'LL NEVER LET YOU GET ME!

CIEEIA: Um... Why are we chasing an ice cream truck anyway?

CRUROAR: Damn! {a rating bubble appears with the words "PG-13"}

{Everyone suddenly stops, the ice cream truck crashes into a lamp post}

CONCHRIS: Did you just bump the rating of this show up?

CRUROAR: I didn't know that we weren't supposed to say that!

CIEEIA: Hey... What's that guy doing jumping a shark?

{Cut to the sea, a man in a jet ski jumps off a ramp, a shark jumps up and eats him, it then comes up and faces the camera}

SHARK: OH HELL NO! YOU AIN'T JUMPING ME!

{Cut back to the Streets, the ice cream truck is gone, Mr. Person notices the truck is missing and falls down}

CRUROAR: Wow... That's one mean shark.

CONCHRIS: Well, I'm sure this shark jumping won't effect us in the future...

CIEEIA: Uh... yeah... even though this does open us up to more new possibilities.

{Cut to the Writer's office}

WRITER: HA HA! TAKE THAT HRFWiki!

'{Cut back to the streets, again}

CONCHRIS: Seriously, enough talk. Let's go.

{Cut to the outside of the stadium}

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: So... you want to participate in this competition?

FOREST: Yes.

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Are you sure? I think I may need to see identification.

FOREST: You do not need to see my identification.

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: What are you, a jedi? {in a trance} I do not need to see your identification.

FOREST: Move along.

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Move along. {opens the door}

{Forest walks through the door and it closes, Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia run in}

CONCHRIS: OH CRAP! We're snowed in!

CIEEIA: We're not.

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Hey there.

CONCHRIS: You're Sirhcnoc!

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Who?

CONCHRIS: Nevermind, so... did you happen to see a woman who also happens to be a robot come in here?

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Yes. About a minute ago.

CIEEIA: Can you let us in?

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Sorry ma'am. No can do.

CIEEIA: Please?

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Fine. {opens door} Don't tell Boss though, he would be ticked to find that he didn't make money off of this... {As Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia go in, Clark thinks to himself} Fools, it's only a matter of time before my trap springs off...

{Cut to the hallway, Forest is conversing with someone}

FOREST: What? You mean I can't enter if my creator is not here?

MAN: Yes, that's the one.

{Conchris runs on-screen}

CONCHRIS: FOREST! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

MAN: Is this guy your creator?

FOREST: Yes. My databanks read this guy as my creator.

MAN: Okay... come on in. {opens the door to the arena}

CONCHRIS: {sighs} Forest...

FOREST: Be quiet. Let's go. {grabs Conchris and walks in holding him above her head, she then throws him down on the arena floor}

CONCHRIS: Ow...

{Cut to the announcer's booth, Some Guy and Some Other Guy are sitting there with headsets}

SOME GUY: And it looks like some loser with some loser robot has just entered the arena. Will they be able to stand up to Clark's TotallyOriginalGiantRobot?

SOME OTHER GUY: That's quite a word there.

SOME GUY: Yeah, Clark made it last night in his lair.

SOME OTHER GUY: Ha ha ha! Awesome.

{Cut back to the arena, a giant robot flies in through the top}

FOREST: {intimidated} Yikes. That is certainly a heck of a robot.

CONCHRIS: Well, you know what they say about robot size...

{The camera flies over to Clark's side of the arena}

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Stop making innuendos! Giant robot! Fire your lasers!

TOTALLYORIGINALGIANTROBOT: I'MA FIRING MAH LAZORS! {fires a laser out of its mouth}

{The laser arcs towards Forest, who dodges it}

FOREST: What? Is that the best you can do? Conchris, did you even build me with any weaponry?

CONCHRIS: Lemme check the enclosed instruction book which I made. {opens the enclosed instruction book} Yes. You have an arm cannon, and a couple of missile launchers, also you can make one of your fists huge to whack people with.

FOREST: Sweet! {her right arm becomes an arm cannon}

{The giant robot fires more lasers, which Forest dodges quickly except for one, which blasts her into the floor}

FOREST: Ow.

CONCHRIS: Don't give up! Use Splash attack!

{Pause}

FOREST: What the {bleep} kind of attack is that?

CONCHRIS: Uh... um... nevermind.

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: USE SPLASH ATTACK!

{The giant robot starts flopping about. Nothing happens}

CONCHRIS: Forest! Dodge that flopping robot and counter with a charged shot!

FOREST: I'ma charging my arm cannon.

{The giant robot keeps flopping, Forest jumps on top of the flopping robot}

FOREST: I'ma firing my arm cannon. {fires off a charged shot into the robot's mouth, causing the mouth to explode, the giant robot punches Forest off, making her land on the invisible wall}

SOME GUY: {amplified} Ooh... that gotta hurt.

{Forest lands on the floor with a thud, she gets up}

FOREST: I'm not giving up! Not when I still have people to belittle!

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Fire ze missiles!

{The Giant Robot fires the missiles, cut to where Conchris is standing}

CONCHRIS: Don't worry, Forest! We can still win as long as he...

{The missiles all hit Forest and Conchris, the dust clears}

CONCHRIS: doesn't... fire... missiles... {coughs}

FOREST: Well, isn't that just grand?

CLARK THE GIFT SHOP GUY: Give up! We have you beat!

TOTALLYORIGINALGIANTROBOT: Kill!

CONCHRIS: There has to be some obvious weakeness to this guy...

FOREST: How about we hit that {the camera looks at the Giant Robot, it zooms in on a red button} red button over there?

CONCHRIS: Sounds silly. But it's worth a try!

{Forest jumps up, the Giant robot fire more missiles, Forest jumps on each of them and jumps off the final one with fists at the ready, as she's closing in on the button, the Giant Robot is about to punch her out of the way. Forest dodges the fist and punches the button, the robot explodes, sending Forest back}

SOME OTHER GUY: {amplified} This is intense... who would win?

{Forest lands on the invisible wall and slides down}

CONCHRIS: No! Recover!

{Forest's eyes light up and she jumps off the wall, she does a somersault before landing}

SOME GUY: {amplified} Damn it... That guy wins...

{The audience cheers and confetti starts flying everywhere}

CONCHRIS: Wow. We could win this tournament now that we've beaten the giant robot!

{A small robot comes in}

CONCHRIS: What the?

{The small robot fires a giant laser, blasting Conchris and Forest off-screen, cut to Conchris' House}

CRUROAR: I just saw what happened! Did you win the tournament?

FOREST: Not likely.

CIEEIA: Where's Conchris?

{Conchris bursts in with a sledgehammer}

CONCHRIS: I'M GOING TO KILL THAT KID! RAUGH! {swings a sledgehammer and knocks himself out}

CRUROAR: Why is it that kids that live down the street always win, even though your greatest rival was defeated?

CIEEIA: Well, maybe it's because they live in another dimension where they lie in wait until the very last second and take first place without you knowing.

CRUROAR: That's a stupid theory.

{Cut to a house, a small portal is on the right wall, several kids sit around with one on the computer}

KID: Okay, we've won the robot tournament, what next?

ANOTHER KID: Well, there's a boat racing contest in another part of Wikity.

KID: Do we have a kid suitable to this task?

{A kid comes in with a sailor's hat}

SAILOR KID: I will!

{Credit sequence, after it is finished, cut to the park, where the boat racing contest is in progress, the Sailor Kid's boat is just about to cross the finishing line}

SAILOR KID: Yes! I won! I-

{Chrionroar bursts out of the water and eats the Sailor Kid's boat}

SAILOR KID: Aww...

CHRIONROAR: I AM JAWS!

SAILOR KID: You sure are...

CHRIONROAR: Also... {eats the trophy on the table} YOINK!

{Cut to a black screen with the words "END"}