Conshow/7

Summary

Aria, sick of not having enough screen time, decides to try and kill off Cieeia. Will she succeed in her deadly deed? Perhaps not.

Transcript

{Cut to the streets, Aria is talking to someone/something}

ARIA: ARGH! I'm so sick of being ignored and having little to no screen time on this show! Maybe... just maybe... Yeah... maybe I'll kill off the source of the problem... {starts laughing maniacally} HA HA HA HA HA! But first, I need a plan...

{Cue intro sequence}

{Cut to the mall, Conchris is carrying a bag full of DIY equipment}

CIEEIA: Was buying all that stuff necessary?

CONCHRIS: Yes.

CIEEIA: What about us?

CONCHRIS: Do you even save YOUR money up?

{Pause}

CONCHRIS: Of course not.

{Forest comes onto the scene}

FOREST: Can we get out of here? This place is a place where stupid people hang out. And you're stupid.

CONCHRIS: This is my fourth line of dialogue!

FOREST: Why must my inventor be an idiot?

CONCHRIS: I'm not an idiot!

FOREST: Then get us out of here!

{Conchris, Cieeia and Forest walk off, pan right to reveal "Mr. Convenient's Weapon Shop", Aria is looking at the many weapons on sale, she grabs a katana and looks at it}

ARIA: How much for this?

SARRY BCOTT: Only for the price of {demonic voice} YOUR SOUL!

{Aria looks at Sarry oddly}

SARRY BCOTT: {normal voice} Sorry! Demonic urges!

ARIA: So, anyway. How much is it, really?

SARRY BCOTT: Well, it is in mint condition. I would say...

{A spiky haired man bursts in}

SPIKY HAIRED MAN: OVER NINE THOUSAND!

{Pause, Aria slices the Spiky Haired Man in half with the katana}

SARRY BCOTT: Have you used a weapon before?

ARIA: Nope.

SARRY BCOTT: Well, you're in luck! Because today, we're hosting a weapons training class {demonic voice} IN HELL!

{Aria looks at Sarry oddly, again}

SARRY BCOTT: {hands Aria a card} Just look for this address.

ARIA: Sweet! I can't wait to bomb some dodongos! {runs off}

SARRY BCOTT: Wait! You haven't paid for that! Mr. Convenient is gonna kill me...

{Cut to outside a building with a sign that reads "GATES TO HELL Some Building", Aria walks onto the scene and looks at the card}

ARIA: This looks like the place...

{Aria opens the door to the building and steps inside, the inside is dark}

ARIA: Hello? Anyone there?

{The lights suddenly switch on, revealing an instructor}

INSTRUCTOR: YOU MUST BE ARIA! WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!

ARIA: Geez... why shout?

INSTRUCTOR: IT'S BECAUSE SO THAT PEOPLE CAN HEAR ME BETTER! NOW ONTO TRAINING!

{The instructor picks up Aria and throws her off-screen}

{Cut to Conchris' House}

CRUROAR: Back so soon?

CONCHRIS: Yep.

CRUROAR: Did you get anything?

CIEEIA: I think he got some parts for a new toaster he's making. {grins}

CONCHRIS: FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S NOT A TOASTER!

{Conchris stares at Cieeia angrily as she giggles}

FOREST: Whatever, where's the king of morons?

{A crashing sound is heard, Chrionroar is thrown on-screen with a brick}

CONCHRIS: Wow. What happened?

CHRIONROAR: MAIL CALL! {throws the brick at Conchris, hitting him in the head and falling over}

CONCHRIS: Ugh...

{Cruroar picks up the brick}

CRUROAR: Something's carved in it.

FOREST: What does it say?

CRUROAR: You will die in seven days. Signed, somebody... Hmm...

CIEEIA: Why do I feel that something bad is going to happen tonight?

CRUROAR: Whatever.

{Cut to Some Building, Aria is running across some hot coals}

INSTRUCTOR: MOVE IT! IF YOU'RE NOT FAST ENOUGH, YOU WILL DIE! DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN?!

ARIA: OW! N-N-No, sir!

INSTRUCTOR: GOOD! NOW TRY AND HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT!

{Aria jumps at and prepares to stab the instructor, she only manages to slice off a bit of the instructor's hair}

INSTRUCTOR: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! ARE YOU A WUSS, YOUNG LADY?!

ARIA: N-No.

INSTRUCTOR: DO THE OBSTACLE COURSE AGAIN!

ARIA: But...

INSTRUCTOR: NOW!

{Aria grudgingly walks off to the obstacle course, Clark the Gift Shop Guy comes in}

INSTRUCTOR: AND WHAT DO YOU WANT, SIRHCNOC?!

CLARK: Hush! Do you have the book of Animal Control with you?

INSTRUCTOR: YES I DO! {throws the Book of Animal Control at Clark}

CLARK: {The book hits him in the forehead} OW! But... thanks! {picks up the book and staggers off holding his forehead}

INSTRUCTOR: HUMANS... SUCH WEAKLINGS...

{Aria comes back onto the scene, heavily injured}

ARIA: I did the obstacle course... again...

INSTRUCTOR: GREAT! NOW LET'S GO INTO A MONTAGE!

ARIA: Sounds... great... just let me bleed a little on the floor.

INSTRUCTOR: OH NO YOU WON'T!

{Montage music plays}

{Timeswipe, Aria tries to defend herself against several bats but fails, the Instructor shouts at Aria to get up and try again}

{Timeswipe, Aria fights with a legendary swordsman, but is defeated in the end}

{Timeswipe, Aria runs across the hot coals but trips, she is then set on fire. The Instructor grabs a bucket of water and throws it over her to douse her}

INSTRUCTOR: NOBODY DIES IN MY CLASS!

{Timeswipe, Aria tries to defend herself against several bats, she swipes at five bats and she starts having a swordfight with the last one, she wins}

INSTRUCTOR: THAT'S THE WAY YOU DO IT!

{Timeswipe, Aria fights with a legendary swordsman, she gets into several tied deadlocks before finally finishing off the swordsman, the swordsman gets up and bows}

SWORDSMAN: You fight well, grasshopper.

{Timeswipe, Aria runs across the hot coals, she finishes crossing and starts running across it backwards and then on her hands, she gets off the hot coals track}

INSTRUCTOR: SEE? WHAT DID I TELL YOU? A MONTAGE ALWAYS MAKES EVERYONE BETTER!

ARIA: Now I can have my revenge!

INSTRUCTOR: THAT'S A GOOD MOTIVE! NOW GO OUT THERE AND SHOW THIS PERSON WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF!

ARIA: I will! Nehehehehe... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

{Pause}

INSTRUCTOR: THAT WAS CREEPY!

{Cut to the streets, Cruroar and Cieeia are walking along with Conchris in tow}

CONCHRIS: Well, I didn't know that the blueprints were wrong. I knew I shouldn't have gotten them from Blueprints-R-Us.

CIEEIA: Well, we'll get you a new one.

CONCHRIS: Why'd you have to drag Cruroar along?

CIEEIA: Something tells me someone's after me.

{Aria jumps onto the scene, screaming}

ARIA: YOU!

CONCHRIS: Who?

ARIA: NOT YOU! {points at Cieeia} YOU!

CRUROAR: Uh... Who are you again?

ARIA: I am Aria! Remember me? The woman who keeps on getting ignored because the main characters think it is funny to do so?

CONCHRIS: No. {pauses} Who's that?

ARIA: GRR! I'm sick and tired of not having enough screen time! So I decided to try and kill off one of you! {points at Cieeia again} Starting with you! {kicks Cieeia up into the air, she jumps up and tries to slash at Cieeia but she airdodges, they drop onto opposite sides of the street} Revenge will be mine!

CONCHRIS: Like Metaknight's revenge? Are you going to send a giant ship to attack us and you and Cieeia have a fight within a time limit?

ARIA: WHO TOLD YOU?!

CONCHRIS: Writer told me.

{A glowing orb flies onscreen}

WRITER: It's true, brah.

CONCHRIS: Stop pretending to be a deity that you're not.

WRITER: No.

{Cue fight song (For a song that's the closest to the following fight, try: Metaknight's Revenge from Super Smash Bros Brawl)}

{Cieeia brings out the pipe and charges at Aria, she dodges it and hits Cieeia in the back with the blunt edge. Cieeia pivot grabs Aria and throws her away into a stop sign that Chrionroar is pouring salt and pepper on}

CHRIONROAR: DON'T INTERRUPT MY LUNCH! {grabs Aria and throws her back at Cieeia}

{Cieeia uses the opportunity to prepare to whack Aria with the pipe, Aria notices Cieeia holding the pipe like a baseball bat and slide-tackles her, sending the both of them onto the ground. Cieeia jumps up with Aria and they start having tied deadlocks in the air, Cieeia wins the last one and clonks Aria over the head, Aria counters by stabbing Cieeia in the arm, making her drop the pipe. They both land on their feet and Cieeia picks up the pipe, again. Aria handstands over Cieeia and dropkicks her, but she was countered by Cieeia blocking the blow with her arms. They both jump back, Cieeia clutches her wound in pain and Aria uses this chance to summon a beam}

ARIA: Swordplay wasn't the only thing I learnt. Laser of Darkness! {A black laser-like beam blasts out of Aria's hands}

{Cieeia notices the beam headed towards her and tries to stagger away but not before getting hit, after the beam passes, Cieeia flies back and hits a wall of a building, the instructor comes out}

INSTRUCTOR: OY! YOU! GET OFF OF MY WINDOW! {chucks Cieeia off the wall back at Aria}

{Cieeia takes advantage of the being thrown moment to jab Aria, Aria is caught off guard when she sees Cieeia headed towards her, she takes out the sword and tries to block Cieeia's blow in vain. Cieeia's jab connects and Aria is sent flying to the ground, Cieeia hits the ground. Aria gets up and looks at her injured target trying to get up, but to no avail}

ARIA: Looks like this is it!

CONCHRIS: Oh no... if Aria finishes off Cieeia, we won't have a female lead anymore!

CRUROAR: WHAT?! NOBODY MESSES WITH THE CAST AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!

{Cruroar reaches into Conchris' pocket and pulls out the laser blade, he jumps away before Conchris could say something, Aria is about to raise the blade to finish Cieeia off but is stopped by Cruroar.}

CIEEIA: Cruroar?

ARIA: ARGH!

CRUROAR: You won't defeat her! I won't let you!

ARIA: Looks like your friend saved you.

CRUROAR: If you want to finish her off, you have to fight me!

ARIA: Fine!

{Cruroar and Aria jump up into the air and start to slash at each other, Cruroar decides to punch Aria, Aria dodges some of Cruroar's punches and counters with her own. Cruroar dodges them and slashes at Aria, causing her to be off-guard. Cruroar grabs Aria and starts to punch her into the ground, Aria tries to kick Cruroar away from her, she succeeds in doing so and grabs her dropped blade}

ARIA: Now...

{Music stops, a clonking noise is heard, Aria falls down revealing Cieeia holding the Pipe}

CRUROAR: Cieeia! Are you alright?

CIEEIA: {weakly} Yes...

CONCHRIS: Wow... another fight scene... well, I'm sure this isn't connected to episode 10 whatsoever!

{Cut to Sirhcnoc's Lair on A Hill, Sirhcnoc is looking at the book he obtained earlier, he looks up at the screen to see Conchris, Cieeia and Cruroar walking back, Chrionroar eats the stop sign and he makes a thumbs up sign.}

SIRHCNOC: Damn it! I thought she would win for sure!

INSTRUCTOR: WELL, I GUESS MY TRAINING DIDN'T HELP HER OUT ENOUGH! WE MUST THINK OF A BETTER PLAN!

GREG: Kill them in their sleep.

SIRHCNOC: That's a stupid idea. I know! We could... uh... Greg, did you have the plans for the season finale?

GREG: No. Because my luck is real horrible.

SIRHCNOC: How about we get the instructor to...

INSTRUCTOR: NO!

{The lair explodes}

{Cue credit sequence, after it is finished, cut to a black screen reading "END"}