(even if you aren't vegan)
Conshow/50
Contents
Summary
Come, let us dance...
Transcript
Pre-Show Advertisement
{Open to the base on the nameless planet, Conchris stares at the camera holding a crowbar. Cruroar walks in}
CRUROAR: What the hell are you doing?
{Conchris looks at Cruroar before going back to staring at the camera}
CRUROAR: Who the hell are you supposed to be?
{Conchris starts staring harder}
CRUROAR: Screw it. I'm out of here.
{Cruroar walks off}
NARRATOR: {v.o} Now you too can pretend to be Gordon Freeman! With this {a crowbar suddenly flies on-screen} MAGICAL CROWBAR! It can make you MUTE! It can even be used to defeat zombies! {the words "Buy Now!" flash on-screen} Buy now!
{Static}
{Cut to the same place, Conchris is now talking to Cruroar}
CRUROAR: So, you decided to advertise something at the start?
CONCHRIS: Of course! It's always a cliché for all shows!
CRUROAR: Err... okay...
CONCHRIS: Also, I need the ad revenue. We're not getting much.
CRUROAR: Oh are we?
CONCHRIS: Shut up. {hits Cruroar in the head with the crowbar} Now I'm going to go now...
{Fade to black}
Act 1: When there's a Will...
{Cue introduction}
{Open to the base on the nameless planet, an alarm suddenly sounds}
NYDARA: WE'RE GOING TO LAND!
KYLERA: HIT THE DECKS!
{Nydara, John, Kylera, Conchris, Cruroar and Cieeia fall onto the floor, Cieeia grasps Cruroar's hand}
CIEEIA: Are we going to be okay?
CRUROAR: If I said yes, that means we're going to die.
{Cieeia whimpers}
CONCHRIS: Stop being such a pussy! Besides, it's not like it's going to land in Wikit-
{Cut to the Wikity Borders, the "planet" lands right next to the sign population sign currently reading "200,000 signs still live, including this one". A buzzer sound is heard and the number on the sign then reads "199,999". The "planet" then suddenly opens up and several Yffulf pour out}
XAVIAN: ATTACK MY MINIONS!
{Cut to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a Hill, Sirhcnoc is looking at the "planet" through a telescope}
SIRHCNOC: It has begun! We must head over to Xavian immediately!
GREG: Yeah! Err... why?
SIRHCNOC: We await further orders.
{Cut to the base on the "planet", the guards drag Conchris and company into a jail cell and locks it up}
CRUROAR: You can't do this to us! We're heroes!
ALIEN #12: No, duh!
CIEEIA: Can you let me out of here?
ALIEN #23: We believe in equality so, NO!
{Cieeia puts on puppy dog eyes and whimpers}
CRUROAR: Save it, it's not going to work.
NYDARA: Welp. We're doomed...
CONCHRIS: Don't be such a downer!
NYDARA: I'll never see what your glorious Earth looks like... {tears start to stream down}
CRUROAR: We need to find a way out of here...
CONCHRIS: I can... find a way... from misery to happiness... today. Check... it out! {pulls out a toaster}
CIEEIA: How could a FREAKING TOASTER help us?
CONCHRIS: You idiot! It's a mini laser! Look! {presses a button and a laser blasts out of the toaster, hitting a nearby wall.}
CRUROAR: Err... awesome?
CIEEIA: What are you trying to pull?
CONCHRIS: Okay, so this laser is too weak on its own. All I need is a flux capacitor and a generator that can bring about 1.21 gigawatts so that we can go back... back to the future.
{Cruroar and Cieeia look at Conchris with a confused expression on their faces}
CRUROAR: Wha?
CONCHRIS: I need it to blow a hole in the wall.
KYLERA: I have a better idea... HEY MISTER!
{Cut to Xavian's Battleship - The Jail}
MR. PERSON: When are we going to be let out of here?
DAN: Can't you read?
MR. PERSON: Err... no, exactly.
DAN: Anyway, we aren't going to let you out of here because you're Heeeeeuuuuumaaaaaannn....
ARIA: Oh, so we're {imitates Dan's voice} Heeeeeuuuuuuuuummmmaaaannnnnn, {normal voice} right?
DAN: That's what I said! No, I don't have trouble pronouncing your race's name.
MR. PERSON: Okay... So, never... right?
DAN: We'll be eating YOU {points to Aria} first because your kind is TASTY!
ARIA: Ewwww!
MR. PERSON: Dude! Not cool!
DAN: You're right, it might not agree with those folks that run the channel. But still.
ARIA: You're a gross little thing, right?
DAN: You Heeeeeeeuuuuuummmmmaaaaaaaans have trouble with everything! That is why half the universe hates you!
{A screen suddenly pops up with a random alien}
ALIEN: Err... no, we don't.
{The screen blips out of existance}
MR. PERSON: Was that an excuse by the writer to extend the amount of size of the script?
{A fist smashes into Mr. Person twice whilst the writer talks}
WRITER: {god-like voice} SHUT! UP!
DAN: Err... okay....
ARIA: Are you still going to eat us after the Earth is conquered?
DAN: YES! {puts on a napkin}
ARIA: Eugh...
{Cut to the base on the 'planet' - Jail, Cruroar is now sitting down in the corner}
KYLERA: GUARDS! GUARDS! Oh come on! I've been shouting for a minute!
ALIEN #21: WHAT?! I've been standing here this whole time!
KYLERA: Sorry! Anyway, can you let us out? Pleaseee?
ALIEN #21: NO!
KYLERA: Seriously, what is wrong with you? Don't you remember that alliance our species made?
ALIEN #21: {struggling to stay on guard} N-No.
KYLERA: You're seriously trying to break the alliance if our species got a hold of this.
ALIEN #32: {shouting from off-screen} YEAH! YOU SHOULD LET THEM GO!
KYLERA: And besides, I'll pay you 10,000 Galactic Bucks if you can let us out of here!
ALIEN #21: FINE! {presses a button} Now, qui- {gets shot by a laser}
{Forest walks in}
FOREST: Quit wasting my time!
CRUROAR: Forest! You came back to us!
FOREST: So what? I have disguised as a companion cube in hopes that they won't spot me. I'm only rescuing you for MY escape.
CIEEIA: {with obvious sarcasm} That's so selfless of you!
FOREST: I'm sorry, my sarcasm meter is being jailbroken right now. Can you relay that to my face?!
CONCHRIS: Ladies! Quiet! Anyway, let's go before the aliens surround us again and decide that killing us is a good alternative.
{Cut to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a hill, Xavian's Battleship suddenly crashes and ejects Chrionroar, Aria and Mr. Person out. Old Man also flies out but suddenly slumps to the floor}
OLD MAN: Go on without me! {closes eyes}
ARIA: NO! We lost one of the minor characters!
MR. PERSON: Yeah, he sacrificed his life to make the ship asplode. But that didn't happen to the viewers because it was CUT!
{A giant hand comes out of the sky and points at Mr. Person}
WRITER: {god-like voice} One more word about this script from you and you will be meeting the GREEN SPACE OF DEATH!
MR. PERSON: NO! NOT THAT!
WRITER: Just as I thought... {flies away}
ARIA: Anyway, we need to get going.
HOBS: {off-screen} Can't let you do that, Min-ors!
{Cut to another part of the lair, Hobs stands near the exit in a fighting pose. Also, DUN DUN DUN!}
{fade to black}
Post-Act 1 Advertisement
{Open to a kitchen, Sarry Bcott slowly rises up from beneath the screen}
SARRY: HI! I'm Sarry Bcott! Do you need help with your housecleaning?!
{Cut to a random house, the woman holding a vacuum cleaner nods}
SARRY: {v.o} Well, screw you!
{The woman frowns angrily}
{Cut back to the kitchen}
SARRY: I want to show you the newest in nuisance removal.
{Sarry heaves a bucket with the label "Mah Bois"}
SARRY: This is the "Mah Bois"! It can be used to chase idiots out of the house in no time! Just watch this video clip!
{Cut to a random sign post, Chrionroar slowly slides in like a snake, takes one look at it, and eats it whole, he then slides off-screen and explodes, sending him flying back on-screen}
CHRIONROAR: WHEEEEEE!
{Cut back to the kitchen}
SARRY: It can also be used to deter villains!
{Cut to the entrance of Sirhcnoc's Lair, Xavian is knocking on the door}
XAVIAN: Let me in, damn you!
{Greg opens the door}
GREG: No. {throws the bucket at Xavian}
XAVIAN: I'M MELTING!
{Cut back to the kitchen}
SARRY: Ha ha ha! What irony! Buy today! {a number flashes up reading "Ring 02222342442453 NOW!"} Ring up now and receive this {heaves up another bucket labelled "Dinner"} Dinner absolutely free! Buy Now!
{The lights turn off}
SARRY: Can I go now?
{The Instructor walks on-screen and stares at Sarry square in the eye}
INSTRUCTOR: NO!
{The yell is so loud that it sends Sarry and the two buckets off-screen}
{Fade to black}
Act 2: ...there's a way...
{Open to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a Hill}
HOBS: Can't let you do that, Min-ors!
ARIA: YOU'VE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR THE PAST 5 MINUTES!
HOBS: I know, I'm stuck on a loop! Also, DIE! {pulls out a rocket launcher and shoots it at Aria, several rockets completely misses her and hits Chrionroar instead}
CHRIONROAR: Getting hit by rockets give me super strength!
MR. PERSON: Shut it! Also, aren't you supposed to NOT hurt humans?
HOBS: Wha?
MR. PERSON: I mean, you're programmed for at least something, right?
HOBS: You're right... I- {gets hit in the head by a tube and falls over, revealing that Aria was holding the tube}
MR. PERSON: Wasn't that a tube from the Internets?
ARIA: Come on! They won't miss ONE tiny tube... right?
{Cut to a series of tubes, a green puddle slowly flows out of the missing pipe with little letters, an alarm starts sounding}
{Cut back}
ARIA: Eh, whatever it takes to get those low-lifes off...
MR. PERSON: Put it back... NOW.
ARIA: Sorry! Sheesh!
{Aria throws the tube off-screen, the alarm stops sounding}
MR. PERSON: Now, what do we do?
ARIA: I say we sabotage everything!
MR. PERSON: And invoke the dark wrath of your evil lord?
ARIA: {red eyes} WHO TOLD YOU?! {normal eyes} Nah, I think we should just get out of here...
{Fade to black as Aria and Mr. Person walk off with Chrionroar slithering behind them, Hobs' eyes suddenly light up}
{Open to Wikity fields, Conchris and company run out of the 'planet'}
CIEEIA: Finally! Fresh air! {kisses the ground}
CONCHRIS: Now's the time to not start kissing the ground. We need to have a plan.
CRUROAR: How about we go back to your house?
CONCHRIS: Don't be stupid! Besides, I'm not hiding anything of value in there anymore...
{Cut to the ruins of Conchris' house - Basement, Sirhcnoc is rifling through the signs and pulls out a strange device}
SIRHCNOC: This is a strange device...
GREG: NO DUH!
SIRHCNOC: Now, what is it? {fiddles about with the strange device and it suddenly releases a portal} Whoa! Now I'm thinking with portals!
GREG: Where does it go?
SIRHCNOC: Hell?
{Instructor suddenly pops out of the portal}
INSTRUCTOR: SIRHCNOC! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU AND FIDDLING WITH STRANGE DEVICES?!
SIRHCNOC: WHOA! Sorry!
INSTRUCTOR: WHAT ON EARTH IS YOUR GAME PLAN?! ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY THE WORLD?!
SIRHCNOC: No. Xavian's doing it.
INSTRUCTOR: OH! I'VE HEARD ABOUT THAT ONE BEFORE!
SIRHCNOC: Well, will you {gulps} help us?
INSTRUCTOR: LEMME THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND.
{Instructor goes back in and the portal suddenly closes. A few seconds later, the portal reopens to reveal Instructor wearing a fitness uniform}
INSTRUCTOR: LET'S ROCK!
{Cut to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a Hill - Control Room, Xavian is overseeing the controls}
XAVIAN: He he he he he... Stupid idiot... leaving his base undefended... now I can actually take control of his base and DESTROY HIM! HA HA HA HA HA HA!
YFFULF #1: Wha?
XAVIAN: I plan to get rid of Sirhcnoc too. There's room for ONE villain on this show!
YFFULF #1: Okay... But I thought you guys were friends!
XAVIAN: That is because, my friend, that is a ploy to be able to enter his base without resistance! I plan to destroy this very Earth and to do so, I need to take advantage of Sirhcnoc's machinery!
YFFULF #1: Wow, a villain who uses other villains to do the dirty work... You sure a top-class villain then...
XAVIAN: I've walked out of the villain school with all As in all of my fields! I am obviously a very smart villain!
YFFULF #1: Do you plan to end up on the villain hall of fame?
XAVIAN: Yes.
YFFULF #1: Okay, whatever.
{Cut to a corridor of Sirhcnoc's Lair on a hill, Hobs is spying on Xavian and the Yffulf}
HOBS: I need to tell master!
{Hobs runs off}
{Cut to Wikity City, Conchris and Company stare in horror as screams are heard and fires are blazing on some buildings. Forest is unfazed}
FOREST: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T RECYCLE!
CONCHRIS: Hey! This city recycles perfectly, thank you VERY much!
CRUROAR: How?
CONCHRIS: They force you at gun point to recycle.
CIEEIA: Really?
{Cruroar holds up a sign reading "Cieeia, quit stealing my lines..."}
CONCHRIS: Really.
{The screen fizzles to a black and white version of Wikity, Conchris walks up to a bin holding a can and is about to throw it in as a thug jumps out of nowhere and points the gun at him. Conchris starts sweating and nervously places the can in the recycle bin before running off}
{Cut back to Wikity City}
CRUROAR: That's a really weird flashback.
CONCHRIS: They have thugs stationed at every bin. They will ALWAYS BE WATCHING! {whispers} WATCHING...
{Pan over to a bush, the thug slowly creeps up from the bush and looks to the left and the right before going back into the bush}
{Cut to the ruins of Conchris' house, Sirhcnoc and Greg are about to close the basement door before Hobs suddenly runs in}
SIRHCNOC: Yes, what is it?
HOBS: Master! {puffs and pants} I bring urgent news!
SIRHCNOC: What?
HOBS: That strange guy plans on destroying YOU too!
SIRHCNOC: WHAT?! THAT TRAITOR!
GREG: I sure hope your lair cannot turn into a giant robot that can destroy half of... {explosions are heard as a giant robot rises up from the background}
HOBS: LOOK!
{The robot crushes a few buildings and fires some lasers, zoom in quickly}
{Cut to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a Hill turned into a Robot, Xavian is manning the controls}
XAVIAN: I knew that selling him the Easy-Lair is great idea! I'd better thank Sarry for that!
{Cut to the ruins of Conchris' house, Sirhcnoc tosses the strange object onto the ground in anger}
SIRHCNOC: THAT COSTED ME OVER A THOUSAND! Why must the lord torment me?
GREG: You're a religious person?
SIRHCNOC: I dunno, actually.
GREG: Oh.
XAVIAN: {from the robot} Mwhahahahahaha! Die Wikitains! DIE! HA HA HA HA HA!
HOBS: We must do something!
SIRHCNOC: Transform into a giant robot and have an epic duel with him!
HOBS: I cannot do that!
SIRHCNOC: DAMN! Looks like I'll have to get into my lair... {holds up a grappling hook} MYSELF...
GREG: Okay, have fun...
{Cut to Wikity City, Conchris and Company are running through the streets and finds Officer Generic lying on the ground}
CONCHRIS: OFFICER!
OFFICER GENERIC: {coughs} Conchris? My... it took you... {coughs} long enough...
CIEEIA: What happened?
GENERIC: Those creatures... they attacked... and destroyed... the station... stop them before they get... the... SERUM!
CRUROAR: Why?
GENERIC: The serum is used to make people stronger! Who knows what would happen in the wrong hands?!
{An explosion is heard and a giant beast breaks out of the station}
CONCHRIS: OH CRAP!
{The beast bashes Conchris out of the way and starts to walk towards Cruroar. Cruroar tries to run away but the beast catches up to him and is just about to swipe at him just as Cieeia jumps into the scene with a pipe}
CIEEIA: Leave. Him. Alone. {kicks the beast in the stomach-analogue, it begins to wince}
CRUROAR: What are you doing?!
CIEEIA: Saving your life, that's what.
CRUROAR: Why so serious?
CIEEIA: Just go! I'll fend this beast off!
CRUROAR: But...
CIEEIA: GO!
{Cruroar runs off as the beast gets up and starts to swipe at Cieeia, she blocks the blows with the pipe and knocks it upside the head, the beast uses the opening to swipe at her again, sending her flying into a stop sign}
CIEEIA: {rubs head} Ow...
{Cieeia gets up and dodges the beast just as it was running towards her, it hits the stop sign and sits there dazed. Cieeia uses the opening to bash the beast in the head. The beast whirls around and kicks her into the building where she lands in Officer Generic's office}
CIEEIA: Oww...
{The building's left wall collapses and Cieeia sees the beast holding a stop sign, it charges at her with the sign pointing towards her. Cieeia crawls out of the way and picks up the pipe. The beast sees what she is trying to do and stomps on the pipe and roars at her}
CIEEIA: Can't we just discuss this like normal people?
BEAST: {thinks for a second} NO!
{The beast begins to swipe at Cieeia but gets hit in the back of the head with a knife, the beast falls over and crashes next to Cieeia as she scrambles out from beneath him. It is revealed that Officer Generic did this}
GENERIC: I take all the glory of this one! HA HA!
{Cieeia stands up and looks at Officer Generic angrily}
CIEEIA: I was about to kill him! You {bleeping} kill stealer!
GENERIC: Ah ah ah, I get all the glory for saving you.
CIEEIA: ARGH! What's the use of arguing with you?!
GENERIC: None.
CIEEIA: {sighs} I just wonder how Cruroar and Conchris are doing...
{Cut another part of Wikity City, Conchris is fending off zombies with his laser blade as Cruroar cowers behind a bin}
CONCHRIS: Dude! Help me!
CRUROAR: Don't you remember episode 10? I'm afraid they'll stun me and then hump me!
ZOMBIE: DUDE! WE NOT FREAKING RE-DEADS YOU KNOW!
CONCHRIS: YEAH! Now stop being a wuss and help me capture this point!
{Cruroar comes out from behind the bin and notices Sirhcnoc, Greg and Hobs running their way}
CRUROAR: INCOMING!
{Sirhcnoc and company arrive at the scene}
CONCHRIS: What the hell are you doing here?
SIRHCNOC: My so-called "friend" betrayed me! He stole my lair and turned it into a giant robot!
GREG: That's the stupid idiots version of the story.
CONCHRIS: Okay... But why this way?
SIRHCNOC: YOU IDIOT! This way is the only way we can get to the robot FAST!
HOBS: YEAH!
CONCHRIS: LITTLE MAN!
HOBS: Huh? Wait... I recognise you... aren't you... MY CREATOR?! Father, is that you?!
CONCHRIS: Oh snap!
HOBS: I missed you! Why didn't you come and visit me?
CONCHRIS: I had to go into space because {glares at Greg} SOME IDIOT THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO SEND US THERE!
GREG: I was only playing along Xavian's grand scheme of things!
SIRHCNOC: Speaking of grand schemes, will you help me in stopping Xavian's?
CONCHRIS: I don't know but I'm not helping you! {folds arms and looks away from Sirhcnoc}
SIRHCNOC: Aw, come on!
CONCHRIS: No.
SIRHCNOC: I'll be your best friend forever.
CONCHRIS: Nuh-uh.
SIRHCNOC: Fine!
CONCHRIS: Fine!
GREG: GUYS! We need to co-operate for once on this one. Xavian is too strong to be fought on his own.
SIRHCNOC: I guess...
CONCHRIS: Fine! I'll help you two losers if you would give me back that incinerator I was going to use to melt Chrionroar's signs down into a little melted metal pile and use it to create a sign mech!
SIRHCNOC: Deal. And I'll help you as long as you let us have a day of peace!
CONCHRIS: FINE!
{Sirhcnoc pulls out the strange device and fiddles with it, a portal opens and Instructor runs out of it}
INSTRUCTOR: WHAT NOW?!
SIRHCNOC: Destroy those zombies.
INSTRUCTOR: OH, RIGHT! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR REVENGE AGAINST THE UNDEAD FOR WEEKS NOW! EVER SINCE THEY TOOK MY FLUFFY, I'VE NEVER BEEN THE SAME!
{Pause}
CONCHRIS: O...kay....
SIRHCNOC: {sighs} Just get them...
INSTRUCTOR: FINE!
{Instructor walks up to the zombies}
INSTRUCTOR: YOU CALL THAT LIMPING?! I'LL SHOW YOU LIMPING! ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
{The shout is so loud that the zombies fly off-screen}
CRUROAR: Where are they headed?
GREG: They'll land in the next town over. I don't really know my geography so I'll leave it at that.
CRUROAR: So, what's the game plan here?
CONCHRIS: We find whatever the idiot is looking for.
SIRHCNOC: Yep. I think the biggest idiot of them all is in there... Wait... where's your female friend? Where'd she go?
CRUROAR: None of your business!
SIRHCNOC: Okay... fine... what about the robot?
CONCHRIS: I... wait... where did Forest go?
{Cut to the inside of Wikity City, Forest runs in after the giant robot and clings onto its leg, she tears open a hatch and jumps inside}
FOREST: I shall not let anymore life be destroyed!
{Cut back to the streets}
SIRHCNOC: Right, let's get to the ruins of your house.
CONCHRIS: HOW'D YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?!
{Conchris looks at Sirhcnoc weirdly}
SIRHCNOC: My lair is located on a hill behind your house. I spy on you guys all the ti-
{Cieeia walks up behind Sirhcnoc and bashes him in the head with the pipe, he falls over}
SIRHCNOC: I didn't mean THAT way!
CIEEIA: Sorry. I thought there was a BUG on the back of your head!
GREG: What made you think tha- {gets hit in the head by Cieeia's pipe}
CONCHRIS: Cieeia! Quit it! They're trying to help us!
INSTRUCTOR: YEAH! QUIT! IT!
CIEEIA: {jumps up a few inches} YIPE! That thing scares me...
SIRHCNOC: Ow... that is not a thing... he is a demon...
INSTRUCTOR: DON'T WORRY! ABOUT 75% OF THE HUMAN POPULATION THINK I'M SCARY! IT'S EVEN PROVEN IN THE WORLDWIDE NEWSPAPER {A newspaper flies onto the screen with the headlines reading "The Instructor Demon is the most scariest creature in the world" with the picture of Instructor yelling at a man, who is obviously scared} "THE WORLD"!
CIEEIA: O...kay...
CONCHRIS: Anyway, let's go after that doofus.
CIEEIA: Great... idea...
{Sirhcnoc and Greg get up from ground and follow Conchris and company off-screen, Hobs looks around and flies off towards the giant robot in the background}
{Cut to the Giant Robot that used to be Sirhcnoc's Lair on a Hill, alarms start sounding}
XAVIAN: DAMN! I was hoping that they wouldn't meddle with my affairs! YOU! SLAVE!
{A man wearing prison clothing runs in with a mop}
SLAVE: What?
XAVIAN: You're fired!
SLAVE: But I like working with you! Remember all the fun times we had...
{Flashback, sad music plays on a white background for a few seconds before cutting back}
SLAVE: Oh... no we didn't.
XAVIAN: But first, fetch me that packet of crisps or chips or WHATEVER THE HECK YOU CALL IT!
SLAVE: Fine! {throws up a packet of crisps labelled "Potato Chips: The Crisp!" and walks off}
XAVIAN: Ah, the perfect side-dish for {close-up} KILLING! {mashes a red button whilst laughing maniacally}
{Nothing happens}
XAVIAN: Ah. The blue button. Such a convenient button... NOT! {pushes the blue button and several robots pour out of the holes} KILL THE INTRUDERS! DON'T LET THEM REACH MY SECRET WEAPON! {The robots move out of the room as Xavian swings his chair around to look at the secret weapon} Soon, this world will be destroyed... AND LIFE WITH IT! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! {coughs}
{Creepy music plays whilst the camera slowly zooms in on the weapon shoruded in darkness. Fade to black}
Post-Act 2 Advertisement
ANNOUNCER: We'll be right back soon. Don't leave us!
{Cut to a black screen, the words "BUFFERING..." appears for a few seconds before fading out}
Act 3: ...out of this mess.
{Open to Conchris' Basement, Conchris and company are crowded around a table with a blueprint in front of them}
SIRHCNOC: Okay, in order to lead a mass attack against Xavian's army, we need to counteract with an army of our own.
CONCHRIS: An army of what, exactly?
INSTRUCTOR: DEMONS!
SIRHCNOC: YES! I KNOW! Geez, no wonder why I don't have you around anymore...
INSTRUCTOR: Sorry...
SIRHCNOC: Okay, we need to summon enough gates to let the demons through, they can then attack Xavian's army, allowing us to slip through to the giant robot threatening a city.
CIEEIA: Since when did you ever think about the city?
SIRHCNOC: I'd rather have something to control, and since the transformation from the lair to robot destroyed the Sanity Shifter, I don't think we'll be able to get by without anyone screaming.
CRUROAR: Weren't they already screaming in pain when the robot attacked?
SIRHCNOC: Oh...
{Pause, screams of pain can be heard in the background, faintly}
CIEEIA: So, what are we going to be doing?
SIRHCNOC: I has a plan. I plan to open up a gate near the ruins of this here house and you and Cruroar can relay the strange device to the hills. Conchris and Greg can then bring the device to the city hall.
CONCHRIS: Why those specific places?
SIRHCNOC: To be fairly honest, I have no idea.
GREG: But... wait... what if they attack us?
INSTRUCTOR: DON'T WORRY! MY ARMY OF EVIL CAN COMBAT THE GREATER EVIL! SO THAT WE MAY CONQUER THE PLANET ON A LATER TIME!
{Pause}
SIRHCNOC: Okay, now, let's do this!
{Conchris and company run upstairs}
{Cut to the streets, Sirhcnoc fiddles with the device and a portal suddenly opens. Instructor walks up to it}
INSTRUCTOR: YOU CALL YOURSELVES DEVILS?! GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE AND GET IN THE GAME!
DEMON #213: Sorry, sir!
GREG: Wait a second, wouldn't summoning demons from the netherworld to use them as anti-heroes be against the code?
SIRHCNOC: Shush! We don't want them knowing!
{Several Yffulf suddenly show up on-screen}
YFFULF #1: HALT! We shall not allow you to go any further!
SIRHCNOC: But we didn't go anywhere!
YFFULF #2: So? That doesn't stop us from mysteriously appearing out of nowhere and stopping you!
CIEEIA: Actually, you only hid behind a lamp post.
{Pan over to see a crowd of Yffulf hiding behind a lamp post}
YFFULF #12: Have they seen us yet?
{Pan back}
CONCHRIS: So, you're going to capture us, right?
YFFULF #3: Stop right there, lawbreaker! Your spree is at an end. Pay the fine now, or I haul you off!
{Three options appear at the bottom that reads, "No way, you idiot!" "Shut up!" and "Go away!"}
CRUROAR: Well, looks like we'll have to resist arrest... somehow...
YFFULF #3: I love this part... Then PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD! {pulls out a blade}
{The Yffulf walks up to Conchris and tips him with the blade, Conchris suddenly punts him into the background}
CONCHRIS: Weak.
YFFULF #21: They're too strong for us! RUN AWAY!
{Conchris chases after the crowd of Yffulf with the laser blade, he then disappears into the horizon, following the crowd}
CRUROAR: Well, that was anti-climatic...
GREG: Whatevs, let's go.
{Cut to the inside of the giant robot, Forest blasts her way through the security drones and finds a giant security robot standing at an entrance}
FOREST: Get out of the way, fellow robot. I do not wish to bring harm to you.
SECURITY ROBOT: KILL!
FOREST: So be it.
{Forest's right arm becomes a cannon and she starts firing lasers at the security robot, he blocks the shots with his bulky form and punches Forest into a wall. An energy bar appears, a few bars of energy disappear from the bar. Forest gets up}
FOREST: Fine! I shall be as unfair as I can be!
{The robot punches Forest again, depleting another few bars of energy. Forest slowly gets up}
FOREST: Screw it!
{A menu suddenly opens up and the giant security robot is seen sneaking behind Forest as the cursor selects the last weapon on the list. Forest suddenly changes colour scheme to grey and dark grey}
FOREST: Alright! Now, where are you? I'm going to fill you with concre-
{The robot punches Forest in the back, depeleting another few bars of energy, Forest jumps up}
FOREST: THAT DOES IT!
{Forest fires off a few concrete balls, two of them lands on the floor near the robot as he jumps up to dodge them. The third one hits the robot, freezing him in place}
FOREST: Gotcha!
{The robot suddenly breaks free and crushes Forest, depeleting her health to only a single bar. The robot suddenly jumps to the other side of the room and begins to charge up a laser}
SECURITY ROBOT: KILL!
{A laser ball slowly appears as the robot continues charging}
FOREST: Well, this is it. I thought I could stop him but I just can't. If only if I had seeked advice from other war bots...
{The robot fires the laser at Forest, it starts to dramatically close in as a white light flashes to the place that Forest was first activated}
YOUNG CONCHRIS: {in an assertive stance} Go and kill!
{Pause}
YOUNG FOREST: Negatory. {blasts Young Conchris off the screen}
{The screen flashes to a scene of whiteness}
FOREST: {v/o} Wait? Androids and robots don't have flash backs!
{The screen suddenly flashs back to the room inside the giant robot, the laser is still flying, dramatically I might add, towards Forest}
FOREST: Crap.
{The laser blasts Forest off-screen but the bar on the left doesn't go down. Forest hits the wall and slides down, she opens her eyes to see Hobs blocking the shot}
FOREST: Little Man!
HOBS: Assister!
SECURITY ROBOT: KILL!
FOREST: Can it! {shoots the security robot, the shot bounces off}
HOBS: I'll handle it from here! You go on!
FOREST: But...
HOBS: I CAN MAKE IT ON MY OWN!
{Pause}
FOREST: Fine. Good luck. {jumps away and runs out of the room}
{Hobs suddenly turns into a heavily armoured robot by a spark of electricity}
HOBS: KILL ROBOT!
{Hobs runs towards the security robot and bashes him down onto the ground. The security robot kicks Hobs off and up into the ceiling. Hobs wall(ceiling?)jumps off and fires a blast of laser at the robot, destroying some of its armour.}
HOBS: NOW DIE! {fires a giant laser at the armoured robot}
{The robot explodes in the blast and disintergrates, Hobs gets zapped by a spark of electricity again and turns to normal}
HOBS: Energy reserves at 50%... I should be fine. {walks off into the next room}
{Cut to the Wikity Hills, Cruroar, Cieeia, Conchris and Greg are running up the hill}
CRUROAR: How {huff} high is {puff} this hill?!
CONCHRIS: Just a little more!
{The group reaches the top of the hill and looks over Wikity as a giant robot crushes several buildings}
GREG: Oh... I'm starting to feel bad for your kind now...
CONCHRIS: Don't be. They're mostly rejects.
{Close up of the Wikity Jail, the giant robot tears the roof off of it and several criminals climbs out of it and starts running for their lives}
{Cut back to Wikity Hill, Stereotypically English Man appears out of nowhere}
ENGLISHMAN: Ah! Conchris, I presume? Do you remember me?
CONCHRIS: You're a horrible excuse for a robot master! Of course, I remember you!
ENGLISHMAN: Time to finish what we had started. As you can see, Xavian has fixed me up and now, I can destroy you!
CONCHRIS: So what? Forest can... wait... she's not here...
ENGLISHMAN: That's right! And that little power you copied from me? Humans can't use them!
CONCHRIS: No wonder why I can't just fire tea like it was no tommorrow...
ENGLISHMAN: Come, let us dance. {pulls out a lance}
CONCHRIS: Okay!
{An energy bar appears in the upper left along with another one, they both fill up to maximum}
CONCHRIS: YAH!
{Conchris charges at the robot with full force, he swings his laser blade at the bot, hitting him. The robot retaliates by throwing Conchris away with the lance, both energy bars go down, the left one goes down further than the right}
CONCHRIS: Pain...
ENGLISHMAN: Is that all you got?
CONCHRIS: Yes, actually.
ENGLISHMAN: Don't make me laugh! {starts laughing}
CIEEIA: Conchris! Get him while he's laughing!
CONCHRIS: Okay. {stabs Englishman with his laser blade, depleting the right energy bar}
ENGLISHMAN: Ouch. {explodes, Megaman-style}
{A Megaman Boss Defeated jingle plays as everyone stands there}
GREG: That was too short, don't you think?
CONCHRIS: This is one fight to the next fight every freaking time. I sure hope that we don't have to fight that marketing demon.
{Cruroar fiddles with the device and a portal opens, a demon walks out of it}
DEMON #1231: At your command, sir!
CONCHRIS: Two down, one to go. Let's go... {shudders} Greg.
GREG: Fine... {shudders} Conchris...
{Conchris and Greg walks off}
{Cieeia walks up to the demon}
CIEEIA: Okay. Will you help us out in the fight against Xavian's massive alien-style army?
DEMON #1231: We sure are!
{Cut to the ruins of Conchris' house, a giant demon army have been assembled}
SIRHCNOC: Okay. {starts pacing back and forth whilst Greg plays uplifting music} Today's the day that we have to defend the city from attack... This is a greater evil than you demons, so some of you could become more than just undead. You would end up to be unundead. But, no matter what happens, we could at least say in the History Book of the Universe that we tried, right? Any questions?
{Demon #21 raises his hand}
SIRHCNOC: You, sir.
DEMON #21: You mean we'll end up on a place worse than that place?
SIRHCNOC: Maybe even worse than that.
{Demon #21 whimpers}
SIRHCNOC: Now... FOR GLORY!
{The army starts to cheer and run towards a small army of Yffulfs, they are instantly overrun as the Yffulfs make several totem formations and put up their shields to bash back the army}
SIRHCNOC: DAMN! We're going to need our own formation! {thinks} Wait! I got it! {whistles} Block formation. NOW!
{The demons create a block formation and charge at the Yffulf again, the Yffulf are knocked out of the way}
SIRHCNOC: Ha ha ha! We're winning!
{The Yffulfs retreat and come back on-screen with a tank}
SIRHCNOC: Or not...
{The demons charge blindly into the tank, an explosion is heard and several demons and Yffulfs are sent flying}
GREG: Why are we overseeing the situation?
SIRHCNOC: Quiet, you! I like playing an RTS!
GREG: Sure, whatever. Just watch for weakling rushes.
{An alarm sounds}
VOICE: Warning! Portal is under attack!
SIRHCNOC: DAMN IT!
VOICE: Portal destroyed.
SIRHCNOC: DAMN IT, AGAIN! {grabs a megaphone} FALL BACK! EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU! FALL BACK AND REGROUP!
{The demons run away from the bigger army of Yffulfs headed their way}
{Cut to the city hall, Conchris and Greg run up the double stairs to reach the mayor's office}
MAYOR: {creepy voice} I've been waiting for you... Conchris...
CONCHRIS: WAH! I forgot that our new mayor is a creepy guy!
{The chair swivels around to reveal a very boney man with boney fingers with drooping eyes, when he speaks, he speaks in a creepy voice, he stands up}
MAYOR: I see what you're about to do is going to help save ussssssss.... {holds onto the s for a few seconds}
CONCHRIS: Err... yeah... Can... we go do that?
MAYOR: Certainly. I've been watching your escapades on the television and I am impresssssed with what you have achieved so far... Don't disappoint me...
GREG: Are you sure that you're not some relative of GMan?
MAYOR: Not at all.
CONCHRIS: Can we get going? I don't think I'd like to stay here.
GREG: Sure.
{Conchris and Greg climbs up the ladder that just so happened to be there to the roof, the mayor looks up after them}
MAYOR: I'm sure they'll succeed, I just hope the last mayor doesn't know I'm trying to help them.
{Cut to the roof of the city hall, the giant robot looms over the hall just as Conchris was fiddling with the device, a giant loudspeaker comes out of the robot}
XAVIAN: {inside robot} YOU! I THOUGHT YOU WERE LOCKED UP IN THAT JAIL!
{Great gusts of wind blows through the city, knocking Greg off his feet and dragging Conchris back a few inches}
CONCHRIS: I thought you were dead!
XAVIAN: {inside robot} I TOLD YOU! THAT WAS A FREAKING CLONE! JEEZ, DOESN'T EVERY VILLAIN KEEP A CLONE OF THEMSELVES JUST IN CASE THEY FAIL?!
{Cut to Sirhcnoc's Lair on a Hill in the past, Sirhcnoc looks at the camera}
SIRHCNOC: I wish I could speak for all the villains but for some, like me, no, we don't.
{Cut back to the top of the city hall, Conchris is still fiddling with the device}
XAVIAN: And now, now that I have cornered one of the main heroes, I'm going to tell you my life's story! {turns to the camera} And make sure YOU'RE listening too! This is some interesting backstory!
CONCHRIS: Oh god... COVER YOUR EARS! {covers ears, Greg follows suit}
XAVIAN: It was when I was but a wee boy... {The screen fizzles out to reveal a young boy just getting out of school} {v.o} I was king of the playground but one of my friends betrayed my rules of not meeting any other boy under any circumstances.
CONCHRIS: {v.o} BORING! Can we just kill you now?
XAVIAN: {v.o} SILENCE! Anyway, after school ended for my final year, I was mumbling about getting her back on my side and what not when I bumped into this really strange shadowy figure.
CONCHRIS: {v.o} And what shadowy figure was that?
XAVIAN: {v.o} I DON'T KNOW! IT COULD BE ANYBODY! Ahem, he told me that he had seen my moves, the way that I ruled the playground with an iron fist and then asked me to join the Villain's school. Naturally, I did and I stole about a quarter of my parent's money before going off on my own.
CONCHRIS: {v.o} Wouldn't they be worried?
XAVIAN: {v.o} Of course not! I mean, I did destroy them the day I got out of Villain's school with a giant robot to say the least. Ah! But I was on top of my game! {cut to a classroom, a plethora of villains sit at desks with their own gadgets and weaponry, the young Xavian is busy drawing a blueprint} I completely aced every class, well, except for the Backup Plan Class... But that's beside the point! When I got out, I was awarded the highest grade that the Villain's school could offer. And so, I was invited to join the Villain's council, which I did. And now, I am one of the all-powerful villains, giving heroes a small chance but then CRUSHING THEM at the end.
{The screen shifts back to the top of the city hall, a portal is already open and Conchris and Greg are gone}
XAVIAN: And that, is my story... {looks to the left and then the right} DAMN IT! I've got to stop going into monologues like that!
{An army of demons are attacking at the robot's feet}
XAVIAN: CONFOUND IT! DIE! {The giant robot starts crushing the demons}
DEMON #21372: I DON'T WANNA UNDIE!
{Cut to the inside of the giant robot, Xavian is grinning at the carnage that he is ensuing amongst the demons when Forest bursts in through the door in a white/yellow palette}
FOREST: It has come to my attention that you suck, and you must be exterminated.
{Xavian suddenly stops what he is doing and turns around in his swivel chair with an evil look on this face}
XAVIAN: How can I? Did your creator send me bees? Or are you going to kill me? Or kill me with bees that come out of your cannon thing there. {A bee suddenly flies at Xavian, he gets stung} YOWCH! YOU MUST DIE! {pulls out a gun and fires it at Forest, she doesn't feel a thing}
FOREST: Pfft. Normal human weapons cannot harm me as easily as a robot's. Quit while you're behind!
XAVIAN: Fine! Then we shall have the most epic final boss battle to ever grace this show!
FOREST: Epic fight? You mean that right?
XAVIAN: Oh yes. {pulls out a remote} But if you don't beat me fast enough, this city will be destroyed... He he he he he... {presses the button on the remote}
{The weapon shrouded in darkness fires off a black hole bomb that flies outside the robot, it then explodes into a black hole and starts sucking things in}
{Cut to the outside of the Wikity's City Hall, Conchris, Greg, Sirhcnoc, Cieeia and Cruroar also look up at the black hole in awe as the demons try fruitlessly to break open the robot}
CONCHRIS: That defies every laws of physics!
{Cruroar holds up a sign that reads "That's MY line, you jerk!"}
CIEEIA: Umm... doesn't Chrionroar break the laws of physics already?
CONCHRIS: What's it gonna do? Grow arms and legs and fights the idiot in a one on one fight as giants?
{Chrionroar flies on screen and eats a slice of pie, he suddenly grows into a giant and punches the black hole somehow. The black hole grows eyes, arms and legs and fights back. They then begin to struggle against each other.}
CRUROAR: {sighs} Count on him to break every written and unwritten laws of the universe in the book.
CONCHRIS: He truly is a Mary Sue.
CIEEIA: Well, I don't hear the screaming of a million fangirls, I tell you.
CONCHRIS: Well, I think I'M the most popular character in this show!
CRUROAR: Funny, I thought I was.
CIEEIA: No, it's me.
CONCHRIS: No, you're not.
SIRHCNOC: Can we stop arguing about a popularity contest and help them put a dent on this giant robot?
CONCHRIS, CRUROAR and CIEEIA: NO!
GREG: Just leave them.
{The robot's foot crashes down in the background, startling the group}
CONCHRIS: Okay, everyone wins, right?
CRUROAR: Yeah, sure.
CIEEIA: Okay.
SIRHCNOC: Good. Besides, I'M the best character ever!
GREG: {rolls eyes} Way to be a hypocrite!
{Cut to the inside of the giant robot, Xavian is being attacked by a horde of hornets}
XAVIAN: ARGH! STOP THROWING BEES AT ME!
FOREST: Bees? I thought they were hornets! You truly are the greatest idiot.
XAVIAN: Well, they are hornets but bees sounds more cooler... right?
FOREST: No. {fires off a charged laser shot}
{Xavian deflects the shot back at Forest, depleting almost all of her energy from the bar}
FOREST: That hurt. {slumps to the floor}
XAVIAN: Get up.
{Forest gets up, despite being weak}
XAVIAN: Now, I'd like to finish this off, once and for all.
FOREST: How?
{Xavian pulls out a blade}
XAVIAN: Die!
{Xavian slices at Forest, cutting her in half}
FOREST: {monotonous} Leg receptors cut off, running from reserve energy tank...
{Xavian walks over to Forest}
XAVIAN: What's the matter? Can't move?
FOREST: Yes. {fires off a shot, stunning Xavian for a second}
XAVIAN: Ouch. But seriously, pull yourself together!
FOREST: You've been waiting to use that joke, right?
XAVIAN: Yes.
FOREST: Well, why don't you tell me and the viewers that are watching all about your plans while I recover?
XAVIAN: Well, I don't normally do so and because of the last time I did a monologue, it sort of went out of hand... But sure... why not. Ahem... {pulls out a scroll, it suddenly drops to the floor and a long piece of paper rolls out of the room} My evilious plan by Xavian Markendsworth the 3rd... This is it. I have successfully allied with the strongest species of aliens which I could use for my evil plans. My plan? To conquer Earth... I am sick and tired of being foiled, time and again, by people who decided that it could be funny if they could be heroes for once. My allegiance with Sirhcnoc is merely a façade which I used to gain access to his army and earn his trust. I have been known to backstab my fellow villains in the past and have heard no complaints from any of them. {A flash of light is seen and Forest stands up. She starts changing colour palettes to find a suitable weapon} My black hole bomb, which I totally didn't steal from a professor, I assure you, will suck up any indecent lifeform it could find, though I am worried because of that blithering idiot they call "Chrionroar", hopefully, he isn't out there on my victory parade day fighting with my black hole by now, he is known to defy every single laws of the universe and makes the impossible possible, which is kind of strange. And now, as I stand here, victorious amongst my opponents, I shall kill you and bring my plan to fruit-
{A gun shot is heard and Xavian falls over, it is revealed to be Forest in her normal colours}
FOREST: TL;DR, witch! {turns around and points the cannon at the weapon} Now, what should I do?
{Xavian gets up, summons armour and knocks Forest out}
XAVIAN: You wish you could do something. Now, I might as well take care of those meddlesome brats down low. Ta-ta!
{Xavian flies off and out of the robot}
{Cut to the outside of the Wikity City hall, Xavian flies down and punches Sirhcnoc out of the way, he lands and walks up to the four}
XAVIAN: So... it's been a while since we last met, Cieeia.
CIEEIA: We know your game, Xavian!
XAVIAN: HA HA HA! Hilarious! You think you little heroes can stop moi? The most evilious villain to ever come to fruition? Did you not expect me to flawlessly execute the plan? Your demons can't make a single dent in the metal. And now, I've taken more precautions and made sure that the heroes couldn't put a dent in my plans.
CONCHRIS: Then why is the idiot beating up your black hole?
XAVIAN: My... wha?
{Xavian looks up to see Chrionroar fighting with the black hole, a HUD similar to that of a fighting game appears. The black hole shouts "HADOKEN!" and fires a small black hole at Chrionroar, he blocks it and uppercuts him before continuously comboing him. The black hole lands on the ground soon after}
ANNOUNCER: Chrionroar wins! {The stage suddenly resets} Final Round. FIGHT! {Chrionroar and the black hole start to fight each other again}
{Cut back to the outside of the Wikity City Hall}
XAVIAN: I don't believe this...
CONCHRIS: We've gotten you RIGHT where we WANTED you!
XAVIAN: {sighs} I'll kill you effortlessly. All of you. Even your little pet.
GREG: HEY!
XAVIAN: But now is not the time. When the black hole wins the fight, it's strength would've multiplied by now.
{Chrionroar falls down in the background, the black hole stands victorious}
ANNOUNCER: {in the background} Black Hole wins! Perfect!
{The black hole suddenly flies off and grows bigger, the sky grows dark}
XAVIAN: HA HA HA! I knew it! Now, I'm going to fly off to my giant robot. I have some unfinished business to attend to. I sure hope you said your last prayers. {flies off, laughing maniacally}
CIEEIA: Well... this is it...
CRUROAR: Yeah.
SIRHCNOC: I don't want to die a poor villain, mommy! I DON'T WANNA DIE!
GREG: Well, if we don't do something about that black hole, we're all going to die no matter what!
CONCHRIS: I agree with the furball here. But first, I say we go after Xavian.
CIEEIA: But how? There's no openings or any-
DEMON #2341: Hey guys! We found a ripped opening!
{Pan over to reveal a demon look out of the opening}
DEMON #2341: Convenient huh?
SIRHCNOC: Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go show that Xavian once and for all!
{Conchris and company climb into the robot's foot and make their way up to the top}
CRUROAR: Gee, these dead robots are... creepy to say the least.
CONCHRIS: I'll give anyone three guesses as to who did it.
CIEEIA: The butler?
CONCHRIS: Correct.
CIEEIA: Wha?
{Cut to the inside of the giant robot, Xavian over looks the black hole as the strange alien walks in}
CREATURE: Mr. Xavian, I presume?
XAVIAN: Yes. Our plan is coming along nicely.
CREATURE: I see, have you taken care of that Chrionroar guy?
XAVIAN: Already done, sir. The black hole knocked him down.
CREATURE: Excellent... Soon, this world will be destroyed and we can build a new world, a ruined world with lots of grey stuff!
XAVIAN: W-Wait, that wasn't part of the deal!
CREATURE: You said it yourself, you will grant the rights of Earth to us. And you know how much I HATE people breaking promises... You ever wonder how I'm the highest ranking in my crew?
XAVIAN: Er... yeah...
CREATURE: Soon, humans will cease to exist, they brought it upon themselves when they sent one of us a nasty UniversalTube comment about how much of a life we don't have.
XAVIAN: Okay...
CREATURE: They messed with the wrong species to begin with and...
FOREST: Shut up!
{The alien and Xavian turns around to see Forest pointing the cannon at them}
CREATURE: WHAT?! How did that robot girl get in here?
XAVIAN: Breach in the robot foot. Hopefully, nobody has followed...
{Pan over to the door to reveal Conchris and company}
CONCHRIS: Well, that wasn't so hard. Forest has done most of the work for us. We only needed a bit of hacking skill to get through the door.
CREATURE: WHA?! {turns to Xavian} You failed to keep THOSE people OUT?!
XAVIAN: But I...
CREATURE: SILENCE! {pauses to think} You know what I do to FAILURES, right?
XAVIAN: Y-Yes...
CREATURE: They get tossed out to the VERY VACUUM OF SPACE!
XAVIAN: But there is no space here!
{The alien looks around and then looks at the black hole and then at Xavian with a smile}
CREATURE: That black hole looks hungry, why don't you feed it?
XAVIAN: Wha-
{The alien shoves Xavian into a cannon and fires him into the black hole, Xavian screams as the black hole sucks him in}
CREATURE: He he he... Nobody dares mess with the Tyunag.
FOREST: That's a stupid name! And you look stupid!
{The Tyunag turns around}
TYUNAG: Ah! You silly little human-made robots and your AI! You've been programmed to kill, haven't you?
FOREST: No.
TYUNAG: Why don't you join me? And leave your masters behind?
CONCHRIS: WHAT?!
TYUNAG: Shut up! {turns to Forest} Will you?
{Forest thinks for a second before angrily shooting the Tyunag, he dodges quickly and appears behind Forest}
TYUNAG: You've chosen foolishly. {punches Forest, making her fall over}
CONCHRIS: You leave my robot alone!
{The Tyunag looks at Forest before looking at Conchris}
TYUNAG: You must be her master... correct? And are you here to challenge me for your pitiful Earth, right?
CONCHRIS: What?! How'd you know?
TYUNAG: I'm psychic, kid. Now, I say we have a duel in this robot of Xavian's. If you win, I lose. Fair enough?
CONCHRIS: Bring it!
TYUNAG: How quick of you. It shall be your funeral!
{The Tyunag suddenly disappears, Conchris looks around and is smacked up into the air, he is then hit several times before being thrown to the ground. The Tyunag begins to circle-strafe Conchris but is suddenly stopped by Conchris taking a whack at him. The Tyunag yelps in pain and comes back angry. The Tyunag suddenly teleports and beats up Conchris before sending him flying into the control room. Conchris struggles to get up as the Tyunag looks on with mercy}
CONCHRIS: This is the most painful episode I've ever appeared in.
TYUNAG: And trust me, it shall be your last!
{The Tyunag pulls out an iron bar and starts sparring with Conchris, they both clash before Conchris gets the upper hand and smacks him into the ground}
CONCHRIS: What now?
TYUNAG: Grr... YOU MUST DIE!
{The screen suddenly cuts to a black screen with the words "BUFFERING...", the word flashes for a few seconds before cutting back to see Conchris on the ground, hurt with the Tyunag holding a bazooka}
CRUROAR: How he could dodge explosions is beyond me...
TYUNAG: SHUT UP! Looks like I win. Now, I shall exterminate you first!
CONCHRIS: Can't I get to say something to have as my epitaph?
TYUNAG: Sure... you have two words.
CONCHRIS: Tea... Cannon.
{Forest's eyes suddenly brighten, Forest gets up and fires a ray of scalding tea at the Tyunag, he starts to melt}
TYUNAG: NOOOO! MY SECRET WEAKNESS!
{Conchris and company crowd around the melting Tyunag}
CRUROAR: Looks like you're the one doing the dying now.
TYUNAG: YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS! {voice becomes higher pitched as he grows smaller} OH WHAT A WORLD, WHAT A WORLD! I'M MELTINNNGGG!
CIEEIA: Stop stating the obvious!
TYUNAG: ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
{The Tyunag suddenly explodes and the black hole is eaten up by an awakened Chrionroar, he suddenly grows back to his normal size and skydives into the half-ravaged city.}
FOREST: We... did it... {slumps over onto the ground}
SIRHCNOC: That should sort him out.
CIEEIA: I wonder who'll be doing the cleaning?
{Everyone looks at Conchris}
CONCHRIS: Wha? Me? Why?
CIEEIA: Oh, nothing.
{Everyone starts laughing except for Conchris, confused as to what happened}
{Fade to black}
Post-Act 3: "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, GADGET!"
{Open to a birds-eye view of Wikity, it seems to be much cleaner than before}
{Cut to Conchris' house - Main Hall, Conchris opens the door}
CONCHRIS: Finally! Episode 50 is finished! I thought the writer was sucked into the void of Valve Time for sure!
CRUROAR: Valve. Time?
CONCHRIS: Yeah.
CIEEIA: Wasn't the pace of it a little... I dunno... quick? It feels forced.
CONCHRIS: Psh. Whatever, we can look forward to 50 more episodes. As long as THIS house doesn't get dest-
{Chrionroar bursts in with a stick of dynamite wearing a cardboard mask with a picture of a stop sign on it}
CHRIONROAR: LOOK GUYS! I HAS FOUND TEH TASTIEST STOP SIGNZ EVOR!
{Chrionroar takes a bite into the dynamite}
CONCHRIS: NO DON'T-
{Cut to the outside of Conchris' house, it explodes in a big firey explosion}
{Cut to Wikity Hospital, Conchris has a broken leg, Cieeia has a broken arm and Cruroar also has a broken leg. Chrionroar is covered from head to toe with bandages}
DOCTOR: You should really stop blowing yourselves up. You'd better be glad you're still alive.
CONCHRIS: Well, we're kind of impervious to pain because we can come back the next episode.
DOCTOR: Ha ha ha! Don't make me laugh! Now, get some rest.
{Cut to a black screen, credits starts to roll as music plays (Whatever you want.)}
Conshow EPISODE 50 ----------- WRITER: Conchris DIRECTOR: Conchris SUB-DIRECTORS: Some Guy (Kicked out in Act 3 because of unecessary flirting) Some Other Guy Mr. Person Everyone played as themselves, yall biscuitheads! Except for... Tyunag played by: Mr. Person Tyunag's stunt double played by: Some Guy (HOW'D HE GET HERE?!) Thanks to: Capcom Nintendo Sony Microsoft Everyone who had stuck with this Wiki User Show in the past months You No Thanks to: Trolls Not... pigeons... Nothing Something THANKS FOR PLAYING... Err... no wait... THANKS FOR READING/VIEWING!
{Open to Sirhcnoc's New Lair on a Hill, Sirhcnoc walks in and breathes in}
SIRHCNOC: Ahh... nothing like a new lair to concoct evil schemes from.
GREG: Yeah, and for you to get your butt beat.
SIRHCNOC: Geez, I need a holiday...
GREG: I hear there's great spots in Wiki User City's resort!
SIRHCNOC: {sighs} Sure, why not?
{Sirhcnoc and Greg leave the lair, Sirhcnoc leaves a sign on the door that reads "End of Season" on it}
{Cut to the black screen of plot holes}
NYDARA: HEY! What about us?!
ARIA: Yeah!
MR. PERSON: Are we as minor as you say we are?
{Lightening strikes Mr. Person and turns him into a pile of dust}
WRITER: {god-like voice} SHUT UP! THE LOT OF YOU!
{Everyone looks up in terror}
ARIA: Okay...
{Fade to black}
