Spyro email/Threats 1

Spyro mail #24: 3 emails threaten Spyro. He must answer them to save himeself.

Cast (in order of appearance): Spyro, Drake, Chris, 1-Up, Coach Z, Announcer.

Places: Spyro's Room, Closet, Stinkomans Kitchen, Outside the house, Edge of cliff.

Computer: Dragorange Q 1.2

Date: February 15, 2007

Number of Lines: 123

Transcript

{Shows Spyro’s room dimly lit, with the computer on. Drake enters the room.}

DRAKE: Hey Spyrox, can I borrow some mascara? {Looks around} Uh…Spyro? {Looks at the computer} Oh. The email is open. Maybe I can score some points if I answer an email for him!

{Cuts to the computer with Drake head in front of the screen.}

DRAKE: The email seems to be open.

Subject: WAR!

I shall raise a three-to-one marny
and conquerorize your email writing
establishent.
-Some guy who's name is not Chris
P.S. You know my number. Call me to
discuss negotiations, such as
how you made that conviniently placed
trampoline character page.

DRAKE: {Looks at it} Um…next email.

Subject:Death

Dear Spyro.
I Have Emailed You To Inform You Your Time Has Come.
You Only Have A Week To Live.
When That Time Comes I'll Be Ready.
To Prevent Your Death, You Have To Do One
Good Deed Involving The Poopsmith.
-Yours Sinceriously, The Grim Reaper.

DRAKE: {Short pause} Next email.

Dear Purple The Dragonite
I'm dreadfully sorry to announce that I'm coming to kill you.
It's no use trying to escape, so you might as well surrender.
Yep, it's coming. Rawr.
-Jaro

DRAKE: Man, what’s with all the emails trying to kill Spyrox? There’s only one thing to do at a time like this.

{Zooms out. Drake runs to the side and walks in the closet. Cuts to a dark closet room.}

VOICE: {Anxious} Who’s there?

DRAKE: What the-{Terrified} OH MY GOSH! IT’S THE CLOSET MONSTER! EAT BASEBALL BATS YOU MONSTROSITY! {A baseball bat is whacked against someone}

VOICE: Ow.

{Drake switches the lights on showing that he just hit Spyro with his now cracked bat.}

DRAKE: Oh hey Spyro. Hope I didn’t hurt you there.

SPYRO: {Sarcastically} Nope. You didn’t.

DRAKE: So, why you hiding in your closet?

SPYRO: Those 3 emails. They’re out to get me.

DRAKE: So your just going to hide? The only way to fight this is to answer the emails like a real man.

SPYRO: What good will that do?

DRAKE: Well, if you don’t reply to the emails, the killers will be more cheesed off, and they’ll have a more valid reason to kill you.

SPYRO: Good point. Let’s answer these emails one at a time, and maybe they won’t kill me.

DRAKE: Yeah!

{Cuts back to the Computer screen with Spyro sitting in front of it.}

DRAKE: Ok, first, answer the one that has the least amount of time to be killed.

SPYRO: Well, the grim reaper said I have one week. Drake, remind me in 6 days.

DRAKE: Got it.

SPYRO: Now, these other two don’t specify, so let’s just go with the one that demands war.

DRAKE: Alright, but what does it mean?

SPYRO: I don’t know. Email writing establishments? Characters page?

DRAKE: What is it talking about?

SPYRO: Whatever it is, I got to fight him in a 3 to one marny.

DRAKE: Can I be in it?

SPYRO: Eh, whatever. Get Stinkoman.

DRAKE: Hold on. {Walks off-screen}

{Cuts to Drake walking through Stinkomans kitchen.}

DRAKE: {Calling out} Stinkoman? Are you there? Hello?

{A brass orchestra plays suspense music }

DRAKE: Uh-Oh. Judging by the suspenseful music playing, I’d say that something bad is about to happen. Luckily, I stuffed a goose inside the tuba for comedy.

{The sound of a goose flapping it’s wings, and being pushed out an instrument is heard. The off-screen goose then attack the orchestra with people running away cowardly. Drake watches this off-screen event.}

DRAKE: {Laughs} Oh, I’m such a comedian. Hahahaha-

{He is then interrupted by a strong spotlight flashed on him.}

MAN: FREEZE, PUNK!

DRAKE: {perplexed} Huh? Who are you?

{Cuts to a view of a shadowed figure standing next to a spotlight.}

MAN: I am…{He steps forward revealing that he’s a normal blonde hair guy in casual clothing.} Chris.

{Zooms out showing both characters on-screen}

DRAKE: You mean the guy who sent that war email?

CHRIS: Yes.

DRAKE: So, you probably want to kill me right?

CHRIS: No.

DRAKE: Then why are you rudely pointing a spotlight on me.

CHRIS: I plan to take to take you hostage.

DRAKE: Oh. Well…if you want to take me hostage, you’ll have to catch me first! See-yah!

{Drake runs off-screen. Cuts to the top half of Drake running away very fast. Chris catches up behind him, and they both run for a few seconds until Drake trips. Zooms out showing that they both are on a treadmill, and in front of a scrolling background. After Drake lands, he zooms backwards, under the machine, and back where he landed. He loops around the machine until Chris stops him and drags him off-screen.}

DRAKE: Ok. You got me. Now what?

CHRIS: Now, I threaten Spyro, and ask him how he made that character page.

DRAKE: Jeeze man. You’re not making sense. Might as well shoot him rocks.

CHRIS: Fair enough.

{Cuts to Spyros room where he’s waiting for Drake to return.}

SPYRO: Man, where is he?

{1-Up enters the room}

SPYRO: What do you want?

1-UP: There’s a guy outside waiting for you.

{Pebbles start being thrown against the window.}

SPYRO: Oh. I’ll reason with him. {Walks towards the window}

{Cuts outside the window. Spyro slides open the window and leans out.}

SPYRO: Hey, Uh, what do you want from me- {A fist size rock is chucked at Spyro’s head knocking him back inside} Oof.

{Cuts to the bottom of the house showing Chris standing next to a pile of rocks, and holding Drake on a dogs leash.}

CHRIS: {Laughing} Hahaha! You and you’re dialogue are no match for me!

DRAKE: Uh…What he said. I mean-Woof Woof Woof.

CHRIS: Good boy. {Produces a doggie treat} Now balance this on your nose.

DRAKE: Uh…ok. {Places the treat on his nose, and sways back and forth to sustain the balance.}

SPYRO: {Off-screen} What do you want from me?

CHRIS: I want to know how to make that characters page!

SPYRO: {Off-screen} I have no idea what you’re talking about.

CHRIS: Yes you do! So I challenge your writing establishments!

{Cuts to Spyro’s view}

SPYRO: If it will make you go away, then I accept. This calls for a Write Challenge!

{A banner drops down from the top of the screen saying:}

“Rite-challenge!”

SPYRO: And we shall start this competition at the edge of the cliff in 15 minutes.

CHRIS: {Off-screen} You’re on!

{Fades to black. The words “10 minutes later” appear. Cut to a table placed on the edge of a cliff, with two chairs placed in front it. Spyro is waiting for Chris a little bored. Chris eventually walks on screen wearing a hockey helmet.}

CHRIS: Sorry I’m late. I was preparing for this competition.

SPYRO: Actually, you’re early.

CHRIS: {Slight pause of awkwardness} Oh. Well, that gives me more time to prepare.

{A radial wipe occurs, with the words “30 minutes later” appearing at the top. Chris walks on-screen (still wearing the helmet).}

CHRIS: Ok, am I on time?

SPYRO: No, you’re late, Big time.

CHRIS: Whatever. Now that I’m here, let’s start this competition! {Sits down on the chair, and Coach Z in a referee uniform walks on-screen}

COACH Z: Ok, let’s start this match! You both get a piece of paper, and then after my whistle, right away, you both write away anything. Ok? {Blows into the whistle} Go!

{They both start writing on the provided sheets of paper placed next to them. Coach Z walks up to Chris.}

COACH Z: Woah there! You’re writing with your left hand!

CHRIS: Yeah, so?

COACH Z: That’s against the rules! This competition is called a “Write challenge”. Not a “Left Challenge”. So the penalty is disqualification! You lose!

CHRIS: What? I never lose a write challenge! I’m always right with challenging people to a right challenge because it’s the right challenge for me to write in, and win! Aren’t I right?

SPYRO: You know, I think it’s against the rules to use too many of similar sounding words in the same sentence. It makes it sound like a really bad pun.

COACH Z: And for that, you’ve just earned yourself the red card! {Produces a red index card.}

CHRIS: Uh…Ok.

{The Red card jumps out at Chris and literally attacks him with its jaws, and chases him off the cliff}

CHRIS: {Falling off-screen} Ahhhhh…That darn two-dimensional beast…ahhhhh.

SPYRO: Well, I win this challenge. Now to do whatever it was I was doing. {Walks off-screen}

{Cuts to Spyro walking back to Stinkomans house}

ANNOUNCER: Now that Spyro has answered 1 email and lived, what will the outcome of the other two emails become? Will he survive? Will he win money? Will Drake dress up as a hippo and tango with a ghost until he gains superpowers? Find out on the next email of this show!

{Fades to Black. The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

{Shows Drake with his leash tied up to a pole. He just stands there.}

DRAKE: Nobody cares for their pet these days.

Fun Facts

• Drake references a chiche event in suspense movies where scary music starts to play whenever something bad is about to happen.
• "You'll have to catch me first" is from a Space Tree episode.

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