Spyro email/Makeover

Spyro email #15 - Spyro is trying to fix his blobby look. Will he?

Cast (in order of appearance): Spyro, Bad Boy, Drake, Peachy, Sarah, Director.

Places: Spyro's room, room with a fan, Hair Salon, Street, Fillming Studio, TV, Couch.

Computer: Dragon P. 3.0

Date: March 21 2006

Number of Lines: 167

Transcript

{Shows Spyro at his computer}

SPYRO: It’s the email show that never quits.

{opens email}

Subject:Wierd

Dear Spyrox
Why do you looks so wierd. Like, all gooey and stuff.
I think you should get a makeover.
-NachoMan

SPYRO: {reads it} Well Nachoman, I-{pause} {shocked} Can it be true? A legit email? {normal tone} Well then I can pull this now.

{Zooms out showing the whole room. There is a rope hanging down to the right of Spyro. Spyro reaches out and pulls it causing balloons and confetti to fall from the ceiling. Then a banner that says “Real Email” slides down on-screen and sticks at the top. Spyro gets up and starts cheering.}

SPYRO: {happily} A real email! Yay! {sits down}

{Zooms in to Spyro at the computer}

SPYRO: {typing} WOOOHOO! Yay! I was waiting for this day. Anyways, your saying that I look blobby? I find that very offending. But because this is real, I’ll answer it. I look blobby because it is how it is in 20X6.

{Cuts to Strong Bad standing like he was when he was explaining how he would look like as in Anime form in Japanese Cartoon.}

SPYRO: {Voiceover} So, in 2006, people would look like their regular self. Now, their decedents, with mixed genes, look like they do now. {Strong Bad turns into Stinkoman} But, thanks to a disease causing all Male humans to turn into a blob like creature, {pans over right to a random guy. The guy turns into a green blob.} They had no choice but to reproduce with human females. Eventually, the green part wore out, and out humans still have the blob-like part. {The guy turns into Spyro.}

{Cuts to Spyro’s room with Bad Boy Standing next to Spyro}

BAD BOY: How come I don’t have that gene?

SPYRO: Because your from 2006.

BAD BOY: {annoyed} No I’m not! I’m not from the past and here in present!

{Drake leans on screen}

DRAKE: Present! Did someone say Presents? Is it my birthday?

SPYRO: No.

BAD BOY: He says we’re from 2006.

DRAKE: Why? Because of that flickering noise I hear when I’m sleeping?

BAD BOY: No because…{pause} why was that relevant.

DRAKE: If only I knew what that meant.

SPYRO: {getting annoyed} Look guys, I need to fully answer this email.

BAD BOY: I’m just trying to prove you wrong. There was no blob disease.

SPYRO: Well I need proving evidence. Then, I’ll buy you a new working crank for the fan.

{Flashes back to Peachy walking up to a fan}

PEACHY: {hot} Man it is burning in here. It feels like my back it on fire. {looks behind at his back} Oh wait, it is on fire. {turns back} I think I’ll turn on this fan.

{Peachy turns it on, but the fan starts spinning extremely fast causing Peachy’s hair to slant behind (almost looking like it’s going to be blown off). After 5 seconds of defending with his hands, Peachy starts to slide backwards. Then before he goes off-screen, he flies backwards following with a crash. Then cuts back to Spyro’s room}

BAD BOY: All right then. To the library!

DRAKE: No wait! I-

{Peachy and Drake disappear with a pop.}

SPYRO: Ok then, I need to get a makeover. But how? Hmm…{pause} I got it!

{Cuts to Spyro sitting in a chair in a hair salon.}

SPYRO: {unenthusiastic} Well, I guess I should start with my hair.

{Sarah walks onscreen}

SARAH: Hello character from a video game.

SPYRO: Actually, I’m-{realizing} What! You’re my hair stylist!

SARAH: Of course. I have a Bachelors Degree. {holds up a lava lamp}

SPYRO: {correcting nevously} Umm…that’s a, uh, lava lamp.

SARAH: I know. My paper said that a lava lamp is a degree. Remember?

SPYRO: {nervous} Oh.

SARAH: Well, Lets get the hammer shall we? {walks off-screen}

{Live Audience Laughter is heard causing Spyro to look around}

SPYRO: What was that?

SARAH: {walking on-screen} Razors telling jokes.

{Live Audience Laughter is heard again.}

SPYRO: {looking to the right} There it is again. Where is that coming from?

SARAH: The cutting edge spa! {smiles}

{Live Audience Laughter is heard even harder.}

SPYRO: Wow, that must be funny jokes.

SARAH: Ok, lets get started. {holds up a laminated paper to Spyro’s face} Chose from our fabulous styles.

SPYRO: These are color swatches.

SARAH: I know.

{The Live Audience Laughter is heard again}

SPYRO: Umm, I think I should stick to my regular hairdo color.

{Sarah starts laughing}

SPYRO: {reacting confused} What am I saying that is so funny!

SARAH: {chuckling} You said Hair-DOO!

{Live Audience Laughter is heard}

SPYRO: Well can I get a new style?

SARAH: I would, but your’re on Candid Camera!

SPYRO: {shocked and happy} Seriously?

SARAH: Yeah, look {pointing to the camera} there are cameras over there!

SPYRO: {Looking at cameras} Oh my God! I’m on TV! I love that show! Thank you! {he gets up and walks out the door}

{Cuts to Spyro walking down the street}

SPYRO: Yeah! I’m on TV! Yes! {Long Pause, then realizes} Wait a minute!

{A radial transition is done, showing “One minute Latter” at the bottom of the screen.}

SPYRO: I still need a hair stylist. And a makeover.

{A guy in a black suit walks on-screen to Spyro}

GUY: Hey, Kid, I saw you on TV and thought that you need a hair stylist and a makeover.

SPYRO: Are you stalking me?

GUY: Well Jack is.

SPYRO: Hmm, why do you need my help?

GUY: Because I’m starting a show called “Extreme Purple Dragon Hair Styling and Makeovers”, and you look like a desperate loser who needs one.

SPYRO: But I’m not a Purple Dragon, jeez, why does everyone call me that?

GUY: You have a floating sign above you saying “That guy is a Purple Dragon”

{pans up showing a sign that says “That guy is a Purple Dragon”}

SPYRO: {looking up} I never noticed that.

{pans back down}

SPYRO: Ok, I’ll do this even thought I’m not a purple dragon

GUY: {joyfully} Great! {shakes hands with Spyro} The name is Director.

SPYRO: Cool. What do I have to do?

DIRECTOR: Nothing! Just follow me.

{Cuts to a filming studio similar to the one in “Product”. Director and Spyro walk on screen}

DIRECTOR: Ok, you just need to answer questions. The rest is up to the crew.

SPYRO: Ok.

{Cuts to Spyro’s TV. It shows Director with a microphone in a lounge.}

DIRECTOR: Welcome to the world premier of our show that is too long for me to say! Today, we have a kid who is overweight, talks like a lamp, has a big nose, and is usually sent to the Rejection line when he calls someone!

SPYRO: {leaning on-screen} Uhh, I’m not any of those things.

DIRECTOR: We have…Spyro!

SPYRO: {walking on-screen} Hi, Uh, I need a makeover.

DIRECTOR: {smiling} Of course you do! Just look at you!

SPYRO: I know, I’m blobby.

DIRECTOR: {smiling} No! Not that! I’m talking about the fact that you have a big nose!

SPYRO: I don’t have a nose.

DIRECTOR: {smiling} Exactly!

SPYRO: {annoyed} Ok, can we just get to the point. Make me look good.

DIRECTOR: {smiling} Ok!

{Cuts to Spyro and Director next to a laser machine.}

DIRECTOR: Well, first we need you to get a nose.

SPYRO: If I can smell, I don’t need one.

DIRECTOR: {smiling} Of course you do! Who is the stylist here?

SPYRO: You.

DIRECTOR: And who gets paid money for every word I speak?

SPYRO: {annoyed} You are.

DIRECTOR: Glad you agree with me. {Runs off-screen.}

SPYRO: What are you doing?

DIRECTOR: {off-screen} Hold still.

{A blue ray hits Spyro in the face. Spyro doesn’t react.}

SPYRO: Do I have a nose?

DIRECTOR: Are you kidding? You don’t need a nose! You need a pose!

SPYRO: Then why did you say I need a nose?

DIRECTOR: I’m sorry. I must have A.D.D.

SPYRO: You can’t pay attention? That’s not relevant.

DIRECTOR: No, this ADD stands for A Dumb Dork.

SPYRO: Ok. I think this place is a dumb dork.

DIRECTOR: You’re just new. Now lets fix your blob body.

{The TV changes to static. Then a news report turns on}

ANCHORMAN: Good mor-after-evning everyone. We interrupt this program to bring you this special report. Thirteen year old Spyro something has just a makeover and is really hot. So hot, he got chassed by fireman until he jumped into a lake. When he got out, he was still hot.

{Cuts to the couch with Peachy sitting on it.}

PEACHY: Now that’s hot news. I wonder why they don’t show corner boxes.

{Spyro walks on-screen as his regular self}

SPYRO: Man, I am hot!

PEACHY: You look the same.

SPYRO: I know. I’m still hot even though I’m not good looking. The change should kick in any minute.

{Bad Boy and Drake walk on-screen}

BAD BOY: Alright. You’re wrong. There is no blob disease. Though there is a disease that causes 2 people to switch IQ’s, and me and Drake got it when the cows stampeded.

SPYRO: I feel something.

{A blue flash occurs. Spyro is now taller, less bean like in the head, has a more realistic body, and is less blobby like.}

SPYRO: Ok, is anything different.

BAD BOY: Not really.

SPYRO: Your joking, right?

DRAKE: No, seriously like Homestar.

{Cuts to Spyro talking to Director angrily}

SPYRO: {Angrily} No one can see the difference in my body, and I can. What’s up with that?

DIRECTOR: {smiling} That’s called our curse. Only you can see the difference, when others can’t. Only me, firemen, and the anchorman can see the difference.

SPYRO: That’s not gonna help your ratings when others can’t see the difference.

DIRECTOR: {smiling} That’s right! We got cancelled by the news. Your so smart, I’ll give you a Candy Cane. {Gives Spyro a Candy Cane}

SPYRO: {sarcastically} What a happy ending.

DIRECTOR: Also the effects wear off now.

{Spyro changes back to his old self. Then The Paper comes down}

SPYRO: Aww, man.

Fun Facts

Trivia

• This email was legitimate meaning someone else actually sent it. Last time that happened was Challenges.

Explanation

• ADD really stands for "Attention Deficit Disorder". It is a problem with some people that causes them to not pay attention.

Inside References

• The Cows Stampede References Rescue Mission at the end.
• "Seriously, like Homestar" references Homestars catchphrase "Seriously".
• Lava Lamps qualifiying as a Bachelors Degree references Product when Sarah is evaluating Spyro.

Real World References

• "Well Now I can pull this", and confetti, balloons and a banner falls from the ceilling is a reference to the Family guy Episode "PTV" where Lois said that Peter was right.
• Candid Camera was a old show where people pull funny pranks. There is also a live audience.
• The Rejection Line is a operator line that you can send someone you don't like calling you to. The operators say something like "Hello, This is the Rejection Line. Oviously, this person does not want to speak to you because your either "Fat, Ugly, Stupid, Has a Big nose..." And it goes on and on.
• "Are you Stalking me?" "Well Jack is." This is a reference to Jack and the Bean Stalk. I think you can figure out why.
• Director has a similar personallity with the Warden from Space Tree, where he talks instead of Cruel to Prisoners, talks very kindly and happy.

Rating

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