Spyro email/Freeze Ray

Overview

Spyro mail #4

Spyro gets emailed a Freeze Ray.

Cast (in order of appearance): Spyro, computer, Stinkoman, 1-Up

Places: Spyro's Room, Hallway

Computer: Dragon P. 2.0

Date: October 19, 2005

Number of Lines: 57

Transcript

SPYRO: Look up in the sky. It’s a feather, It’s a sturgeon, It’s an Email! {Opens email}

subject: freeze ray

Dear Spyro the purple dragon Guy,
I have a freeze ray!
You can use it to freeze people.
Tell me if it doesn't work.
From,
Chriscon

Attachment: freeze_ray.exe

SPYRO: {Typing} A freeze ray eh? Well your email is just in time. I now have 3 things to say: First, I have gotten this real object printer in the mail {Holds up a box that says 3D Object Printer}. Just in time. Second, {Questioning} Ever gotten that feeling that these emails are meant to reflect on your life? And third, Do you have a cattle prod in there? Cause I need a lot of other elements to complete my collection of ray blasters. Come to think of it, when have I ever started my collection? {Gets up}

{Cuts to an instruction manual. You hear Spyro reading off screen}

SPYRO: {reading instructions} Step 1: Attach plug A into the computer and your done. {long pause, and then zooms out further to show that Spyro has about 10 cords tangled up} Man these things are so difficult.

{Cut’s to a black background with words that say 30 minutes later, then cut’s back to the computer room, and Spyro eventually got it right}

SPYRO: {Relieved} Phew. Glad I got that taken care of. Now to print. {Cuts to the computer}

COMPUTER: Printing.

SPYRO: {Waiting} Doot doot doot doo, doot doot doo-

COMPUTER: Warning, pie is stuck in the drive.

SPYRO: {Confused} What?

COMPUTER: Printer will now throw beans. {The printer throws beans at Spyro}

SPYRO: AHHHH. {Beans stop}

COMPUTER: Now printing freeze ray.

SPYRO: Your not going to throw cows at me during this process, are you?

COMPUTER: No.

SPYRO: Good. {Freeze ray prints out} Cool, it’s so Freeze ray’e.

COMPUTER: Warning, Printer will now throw cows at you.

SPYRO: AHHHH! {He ducks letting the cows pass over him. Then it stops} Hey, you said you wouldn’t.

COMPUTER: I said during {Exaggerates during} the process. Ha. Right back at you.

SPYRO: Whatever. I now have a freeze ray. Think of what I can do with it. I could save mankind! Or maybe I can be on time for the Breakfast special at Mc. Donald’s. Yeah lets go with that.

{Stinkoman walks in}

STINKOMAN: What are {Exaggerates are} you doing?

SPYRO: {Shouting} Freeze! {Zaps Stinkoman. Stinkoman is then frozen in a cube. Spyro grins and goes up to Stinkoman and draws a mustache on him} Hehe.

COMPUTER: Danger! Printer will now throw bosses!

SPYRO: Uh-Oh.

{Cuts to the outside of the room showing a open door and a hall. Spyro, the Computer, And Stinkoman are apparently beaten up inside, and then thrown out, but Stinkoman was thrown off screen}

SPYRO: Ow. Why does this keep happening?

COMPUTER: Check the manual.

SPYRO: {Gets out manual} Let’s see here, {Reading} The 3D printer is not responsible for anyone being burned, maimed, wall walking, and poisoned. Offer is void in Wisconsin. If by any chance you are printing a freeze ray, or any of the collectible that you don’t have, then (insert own joke here) please be ready to be shot by Beans and Cows. If using the freeze ray, do not shoot at people that have names with Stinko in the front, and Man in the end, or get ready to be attacked by any of the Stinkoman bosses. Man that game was great. {Stops reading} Seems like the makers have a sense of humor. Not funny. {Asking} Say, what’s Wisconsin?

{1-up walks towards them}

1-UP: Hey Spyro-

SPYRO: {Shooting} Freeze!

COMPUTER: Why did you do that?

SPYRO: It’s a free country.

COMPUTER: You might want to keep reading.

SPYRO: {Reading} Oh and I almost forgot, If by using any ray on a person who has a number in his name, and said “hey Spyro” then I feel sorry for you. You are going to be crushed by a heavy load in thirty seconds. Note:Actually just freeze rays. By the way, it’s been thirty seconds now {stops reading}. Crap.

{A heavy load falls and misses Spyro}

SPYRO: I’m really beginning to think that this was a setup.

{Cuts back to the computer}

SPYRO: {typing} So I used the freeze ray. But You really need to get another attachment that wont throw pies at me. Or at least has a glitch. Man, I really need to finish my collection. Or at least start it. Just give me a Lava Ray. Or a cattle prod.

{The paper Comes down}

SPYRO: {Turns to the computer} Purple Dragon! {Angrily} Hey!

Fun Facts

Real World References

• Spyro Mentioning a sturgeon in the sky is a reference to a episode in The Simpsons
• Part of the instructions is a reference to a jib-jab cartoon at the end.

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