Spyro email/Product

Spyro email #14 - Spyro shows his old job making a product

Cast (in order of appearance): Spyro, Drake, Sarah, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Bad Boy, Hunter, Arielle,

Places: Spyro's room, Sarah's office, Meeting room, Bad Boy's office, Fillming Studio, Regular office, Door Way.

Computer: Dragon P. 3.0

Date: March 7 2006

Number of Lines: 169

Transcript

{Shows Spyro at his computer}

SPYRO: No joke available. {opens email}

Jorb

Dear Spyro,
Have you ever had a jorb selling
a product?

Someone

SPYRO: {baffled} A Jorb selling a product? Whaaaat? {To Dragon P.} Search this word on the online dictionary.

DRAGON P. 3.0: Jorb was not found.

SPYRO: Maybe it’s another language. Search on the Spanish dictionary.

DRAGON P. 3.0: Not found.

SPYRO: French?

DRAGON P. 3.0: Nope.

SPYRO: Turkish?

DRAGON P. 3.0: Sorry

SPYRO: Dutch?

DRAGON P. 3.0: Uh-uh

SPYRO: Portuguese?

DRAGON P. 3.0: Nope.

SPYRO: All your base?

DRAGON P. 3.0: That’s grammar, not spelling.

SPYRO: DOH! I can’t answer this email if I don’t know what it means.

{Cuts to a view showing all of Spyro’s room. Drake is standing next to the desk.}

DRAKE: Well, this is a job for the Diction-or-mity! {holds up a book similar to a dictionary. Drake reads through the book looking for the word “Jorb”. He eventually finds it.}

DRAKE: {Finds the word} Aha! Found it!

SPYRO: What’s it mean?

DRAKE: It says “How Coach Z pronounces Job. See also Jearb, Jarb, Jeorb, jaded, Jacob, Jeearoerob, Hamstray, and Jim.

SPYRO: {content} Cool. I would like to thank the person who made that book in the mail. If only I knew how to say numbers in that language for the date.

DRAKE: Well then, you would need the Digit-or-mity {holds up another similar book and looks at it.} Whoops. This is the Thes-or-mis.

SPYRO: {impatient} Yeah, yeah. Now leave.

{The camera zooms back to Spyro}

SPYRO: {typing} Yeah, I had a job selling a product. I was the boss. Here’s the story with no voice over.

{Cuts to Spyro sitting in a chair in an office with Sarah sitting in the desk chair.}

SPYRO: So, Am I permitted to own a job?

SARAH: First, I need to ask you a few questions.

SPYRO: Ok, bring it.

SARAH: {looks at a paper on the desk.} Do you have a bachelors degree?

SPYRO: I… have a lava lamp. Does that count?

{Sarah looks at her paper. Cuts to the paper that says “Yes, lava lamps count”. Then cuts back to the room.}

SARAH: {looking up surprised} Yes.

SPYRO: Oh. Is that it?

{Sarah looks down again at her paper. Cuts to the paper showing only one question. Then cuts back to the room.}

SARAH: {to herself} No wonder it’s 25 cents an hour. {to Spyro} Yes. It is it.

SPYRO: Sweet! I’m gonna hold a business meeting.

{Cuts to a business meeting room with Spyro, Drake, 1-Up, Stinkoman, and a muffin sitting in the chairs. They’re all wearing black suits (including the muffin).}

DRAKE: This is a business meeting. So anyone got product ideas?

SPYRO: Why are you speaking? I was supposed to start.

DRAKE: I have no idea.

SPYRO: Oh, so the question is “Why are you here?”

DRAKE: I think the question would be “Who are you here?” and the answer is 42.

STINKOMAN: I’ve got it! Bread and Sugar!

DRAKE: No, That’s too controversial. What do you think, Muffin?

{Cuts to a zoomed in picture of the muffin. After 5 seconds, it cuts back to the whole table.}

DRAKE: That’s a great Idea! Why didn’t I think of that?

SPYRO: You did.

DRAKE: Nope, that was stupid. This Idea is great.

SPYRO: What was it?

DRAKE: Muffin, tell them!

{Cuts to a zoomed in picture of the muffin. After 5 seconds, it cuts to Drakes side of the table.}

DRAKE: {pause} He has spontaneous laryngitis

1-UP: I’ve got it! Pudding, that is brown on the outside, but tastes like the white kind!

DRAKE: No, that is stupid. We are going with muffin’s idea.

SPYRO: {asking} Which is?

DRAKE: {pause} I forgot.

SPYRO: Alright then, lets move on.

DRAKE: {interrupting} Wait! I remember!

SPYRO: {annoyed} Yes?

DRAKE: A creamy sensation, tastes like chocolate…

1-UP: {interrupting} Pudding?

DRAKE: Wrong. It is…I forgot.

SPYRO: If you’re not gonna remember that idea, I’m going to eat that muffin and sell it.

DRAKE: That’s it! We’ll sell…Muffins!

SPYRO: For what purpose?

DRAKE: Showering!

SPYRO: {picking up the muffin and starts eating it} It’s a start.

DRAKE: A start? No way! It’s better than a start! It’s will be a sponge, a car, and breakfast wrapped up in…I forget.

SPYRO: {Spyro chucks a brick at Drake knocking him out.} Well, any other ideas?

STINKOMAN: Bread and Sugar!

SPYRO: You already said that!

STINKOMAN: Yes, but, it’s referencing Gunhaver emails more!

SPYRO: Shut up. We don’t want to get sued.

STINKOMAN: Well, I liked muffin’s idea.

SPYRO: Fine. All in favor of muffin’s idea say “I’m an idiot”.

STINKOMAN: I’m an Idiot!

1-UP: I’m an Idiot!

MUFFIN: {to Spyro} Stop eating me! Oh and I’m an idiot.

SPYRO: Ok then, we’re set. Muffin’s it is.

{Cuts to Drake side of the table. He get up with a bump on his head.}

DRAKE: I’m an idio…I forgot.

{The muffin is hurled at drake knocking him out again. Then cuts to Bad Boy sitting at a table apparently trying to invent the muffin. Spyro walks in.}

SPYRO: So, have you got it yet?

BAD BOY: Almost. I’m still wondering why I’m inventing it.

SPYRO: Where were you during the cutaway?

BAD BOY: Hawaii.

SPYRO: Why?

BAD BOY: Vacation. Until I blinked and mysteriously teleported here making breakfast.

{Drake leans out the door.}

DRAKE: Not just a muffin. It’s a sponge, a car, and breakfast wrapped in I forgot!

SPYRO: Shut up.

BAD BOY: I got it! And it comes in 2 types. {holds up a normal muffin} Normal, and {holds up a raisin} raisin. Plus, for a limited time only, you can get banana cream!

SPYRO: What’s the difference?

BAD BOY: 1: Looks cool. 2: The regular one is always the better one.

SPYRO: Ok, next stage is the box art.

DRAKE: Already done! {throws a blue box to Spyro. Spyro catches it and starts reading it.}

SPYRO: {reading} The muffin! It’s a sponge, a car, and a sandwich wrapped in I forgot. {stops reading.} No. We’re not going with that.

DRAKE: Aw man. I spent hours working on the slogan.

SPYRO: Well spend another hour thinking about it again.

DRAKE: Ok. I’ll I forgot.

SPYRO: Good.

{Drake leans back out.}

SPYRO: Now, next phase.

BAD BOY: {Asking} Which is…?

SPYRO: Advertising!

{Cuts to Spyro, Hunter, Stinkoman, 1-Up, and Arielle standing in a filming studio in front of a green screen. There is a whole crew of camera men, microphone men, puppeteers, and people in clown suits in the backround.}

SPYRO: Here we are! The recording studio.

HUNTER: Yeeeah. {pause} What are we doing here again?

SPYRO: Making the commercial.

HUNTER: Oh. How did you do that in 3 seconds?

SPYRO: The power of the crystal ball. Now, {turning to 1-Up} did you write the script for this like I told you to?

1-UP: Yes I did. Here {holds up a paper.}

SPYRO: {reads it to himself for 5 seconds} Where did you write this on?

1-UP: Wikipedia. Why?

SPYRO: Because it say “Arielle the hottie walks in…” and under that it says “HAIL BURGERS” 50 times.

1-UP: {angrily} What? Who did that? It was supposed to say “HAIL BURGERS” 49 times!

SPYRO: Why? Do you know what a burger is?

1-UP: Nope.

SPYRO: Great. I made a million dollar deal with famous people. And we don’t have the script! We need to improvise!

{Cuts to Spyro sitting in a chair on the green screen.}

SPYRO: Gee. I lost my sponge, my car and worst of all, my breakfast!

{Arielle walks on-screen}

ARIELLE: Never fear! With the new Muffin-

{1-Up pops on-screen in front of the screen}

1-UP: HAIL BURGERS! HAIL BURGERS! HAIL BURGERS!

{Cuts to Spyro sitting in a chair next to Drake.}

SPYRO: Well, the box art is done, the manufacturing is done-

DRAKE: {interrupting} Which we didn’t do.

SPYRO: {continuing} and the commercial is done. Which somehow was the best comercial on TV.

DRAKE: Well, the product is being shipped out.

{Cuts to a muffin in a door way. A cruise ship crashes at full speed knocking the muffin through the door way. Then cuts back to Spyro and Drake.}

SPYRO: {wondering} I wonder if it will be a success.

DRAKE: I think that the muffins will eat anyone who tries to eat them.

SPYRO: Why would you say that?

DRAKE: Well, {holds out his arm showing that it was bitten off.} one of them ate my arm off.

SPYRO: {shocked} And you didn’t tell us this before?

DRAKE: Well, I just realized it. I think I’m holding in my screams of pain. Oh, wait, here it comes. {Screams in pain.} OOOOOOUCH!

SPYRO: Ok, then. We’re getting sued are we.

DRAKE: Nope. Luckily, the shipment combusted in flames before it got to stores.

SPYRO: Pointless ending don’t you think.

DRAKE: Uhhhh…I remember! It was something called The Paper Yeah, that’s what I forgot!

{The Paper comes down}

DRAKE: {look up at The Paper} And it’s pre-made!

{Drake jumps and grabs The Paper and runs out the room.}

SPYRO: {shouting angrily} Hey! Come back here with that!

{Spyro runs off screen. Another Paper then comes down}

SPYRO: {off-screen} And thats my story. I just didn't feel like cutting back.

Fun Facts

Goofs

• Spyro's computer was supossed to be on a roller coaster, yet he is answering them in his room.
  • He must of moved it.

Inside References

• Bread and Sugar is referenced

Real World References

• Spyro asking if Jorb was "All your base" Language. This is refering to the game "Zero Wing" where the intro had poorly translated english grammer. It then later became an internet phenomenon.
• "Doh" is refered again.

Rating

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