(even if you aren't vegan)
Spyro email/Rescue mission
Spyro mail #8 Spyro gets a Help message.
Cast (in order of appearance): Spyro, Superman, 1-Up, Spyro Clones, Drake, Badboy, Peachy, Anchorman
Places: Spyro's Room, Stinkoship, Manhattan , Egypt, Burgerking, Platinum Poorbt’s Castle, Couch
Computer: Dragon P. 2.0
Date: January 6, 2006
Number of Lines: 128
Contents
Transcript
SPYRO: Do people read my emails? If so, please report to me.
{opens email}
Help!Dear Spyro, Help! It’s Bad Boy, Drake, and Peachy
We’re still under Platinum Poorbt’s control!
Please help, you know.
SPYRO: A help letter! I’m on my way.
{Spyro rockets out of his room crashing through the walls and starts to fly in the air. He then realizes that he can’t fly.}
SPYRO: Wait a second. I can’t fly. {falls} Ahhhh!
{Cut’s to a zoomed out scene where Spyro landed on Superman’s back who is flying. Then zooms in to Spyro and Superman}
SUPERMAN: {loosing energy} Ack! Kryptonite, Near!
{They crash in the ground with Superman’s head in the ground and Spyro laying on the ground beaten up.}
SPYRO: Maybe I shouldn’t carry pieces of Kryptonite.
{Cuts to Spyro in the Stinkoship, but the lights are off}
SPYRO: {walking towards the controls and looking around} Hmm. How did I turn this thing on? I don’t remember. Come to think of I, I don’t think I have been in this ship. Did I even ask Stinkoman if I could use it? Oh yeah, Asking is for squares. I’m a circle because I don’t ask.
{Cut’s to Spyro at the controls}
SPYRO: Hmm, an on button, an on lever, an on switch, an on pulley. Well one of these has to work.
{Spyro tries all the on controls. When he used the pulley, a pie came out of nowhere and hit him.}
SPYRO: Well you can’t beat the classics. Wait a minute. {licks the pie} This is Vanilla Laxative flavored pie. {his intestines growls} Oh god.
{Cuts to Spyro dashing to the restroom. He then looks at the door signs looking for the right room}
SPYRO: {reading doors} Stinkomans, 1-Ups, other Ups- {Stops} Gah! I don’t care what the next door is, I’m going in it!
{He goes in the Ladies room struggling to find it in the dark. He then comes out in relief to find that the lights are on, and he sees 1-Up in a Hall Monitor suit was waiting for him}
SPYRO: {Spotting 1-Up} What the-
1-UP: Violation 3.14159 of the Stinkoship rules.
SPYRO: Rules? What rules? Where did you get that suit?
1-UP: Allow me to explain. According to sector B, paragraph 3, sentence 1... {gets out a parchment, looks at it, then looks back at Spyro} ...Pudding.
{Spyro gives a blank expression}
1-UP: But according to sector C, paragraph 4, sentence 1, word A... {get out the parchment again and does the same action he just did} ...The. So I have no choice but to let you go.
{Spyro walks away. Cuts to the Stinkoship controls}
SPYRO: Now that they are on, Stinkoship, track Drake, Bad Boy, and Peachy.
STINKOSHIP: Password please.
SPYRO: {Thinking} Crap, a personal question Stinkoman would know. Why do my thoughts echo? Hello {echo!} Who is there {echo?} I’m an idiot {The echo actually replies “You’re an idiot”}! Hey! {echo’s back “…Is for horses.”}
STINKOSHIP: Password please.
SPYRO: {thinking} Oh yeah. Come on Spyro think! Think outside the box!
{cuts to a though bubble with a cardboard box flipped over on it’s open side, and a dot outside it.}
SPYRO: {off-screen thinking} Nope. Maybe on top.
{the dot goes on top}
SPYRO: {off-screen thinking} Crap! Nothing! Hmm.
{Cuts back to the control room}
STINKOSHIP: Password please. Password Please. {starts to spark and gradually lose power} Password Pleeeeese {runs out of battery}.
SPYRO: Wow, that was easy. Though the power in the autopilot is off, I think I can get by this manually without power in this ship.
{Cuts to Spyro opening the in case of Stinkoship computer losing power box. Then cuts back to Spyro on a built in bicycle.}
SPYRO: Blast of in 5, 4, Q, purple, 11 billion, tooty-too, uhh wait, 1! {Starts peddling for 5 seconds and then he hears a creaking noise and stops} {slowly} What the-
{Cuts outside above the Stinkoship. Spyro is catapulted out of the ceiling of the ship and out about 200 feet above the ship going at a fast speed}
SPYRO: Weeeeeeee.
{Cuts to the above half of New York City. Spyro is apparently still moving in the air}
SPYRO: {while on screen} Hey, Manhattan. {off-screen} What’s Manhattan?
{Cuts to a similar scene only in Egypt where The Sphinx is}
SPYRO: Idaho! I remember that!
{Cuts to a Burger King building floating in the air. Spyro passes it where a really long 2 way microphone meant for people being catapulted}
SPYRO: {fast} Hi. I would like a number 2, no ketchup, a large Sprite, and medium sized fries!
SPEAKER: Would you like that to go?
SPYRO: Does it look like I want it to go?
{Spyro flies too fast and misses his food when the worker handed it out. Cuts to a more zoomed in scene where Spyro has his hands still reaching out for the food.}
SPYRO: Aww man.
{Cuts to a huge castle made of bronze with a moat surrounding it and two platinum guards guarding the gate which strangely has the bridge down. Spyro finally drops down in a tree and tumbles out of it. Luckily, the guards don’t notice him.}
SPYRO: Hmm. Guards. Time to put my cloning power in action. {clones 2 copies} You {pointing at clone 1}, distract the guards. You {pointing at clone 2}, come with me and help with stuff. I’m, not exactly sure why I cloned 2 copies when I needed 1.
{cuts to clone 1 going up to the guards}
CLONE 1: Hi guys! How’s it going? {pause} Great! Well do any of you like balloon animals? {get’s out a unbent long balloon} This is a snake. It’s also a anaconda. And a python! Isn’t that cool?
{In the backround while Clone 1 is talking, Spyro and Clone 2 tip-toe up to the moat, Clone 2 throws Spyro at the open window. Spyro hits the wall instead. Clone 2 holds up a 8.5 on a rating sign and smiles. Spyro then climbs up the wall somehow and goes through the window. It then cuts inside the building where everything is Bronze}
SPYRO: Jeez, you would think someone with Platinum in his name would have a castle made of Platinum. {pointing to vents} Well at least it has vents for sneaking through. {climbs in without looking and falls down a vertical vent.} Ahhhhhhhh!
{Cuts to a jail cell where Drake, Peachy, and Bad Boy are standing around.}
DRAKE: Because of this incident, I like PSP’s better.
{Spyro falls down and breaks open the vent that was in the cell}
BAD BOY: Hey! You actually got my email!
SPYRO: Why wouldn’t I?
DRAKE: He didn’t have a computer.
SPYRO: {pause} Then how…{pause} never mind.
PEACHY: How are we gonna get out of here?
SPYRO: Simple. You tear of the wallpaper {He peels the wall of revealing a unfinished wall that leads outside}.
DRAKE: Holy Crap! How did you know?
SPYRO: The wall is not bronze.
{Cuts back to Clone 2}
CLONE 2: I know this interests you guys.
{Everyone else jumps out from the building in the backround}
CLONE 2: Umm…{taps one of the guards}…whoa. It’s solid platinum. {takes the guards and somehow puts them in his pockets}
SPYRO: {shouting} Clone 2! Retreat!
CLONE 2: Yes sir. {runs back in Spyro}
{Cuts to everyone walking}
BAD BOY: So, do you have a cool spaceship or something.
SPYRO: Uh-oh.
DRAKE: Don’t worry. I have 4 jetpacks.
SPYRO: {grabbing one jetpack} WOW! I always wanted to ride a jetpack. Now is this the on butto-
{presses a button and launches vertically in the air with everyone watching him. It then follows with a heard crash. It then cuts to the TV with a anchorman talking.}
ANCHORMAN: This just in! A mysterious object crashes into a UFO. {pause} Yeah, there’s not much to say.
{Cuts to the couch where Spyro, Drake, and Peachy are sitting on it}
SPYRO: Well, today has been a wealthy day.
DRAKE: Why?
SPYRO: Because I got money for that news report, I auctioned the Platinum Guards bodies on Ebay, and I saved 15% on car insurance by switching to Geico.
PEACHY: Say, what did you do with the money?
SPYRO: Oh, I gave it to Bad Boy to go buy a high definition TV. He’ll be back any minute.
{Bad Boy walks in the room}
DRAKE: Where’s the TV?
BAD BOY: Well, I traded the money for the same amount of bells.
SPYRO: Your telling me that you spent the money instead of a TV, but for Animal Crossing money.
BAD BOY: No, I mean bells. {gets out a bell} See, this one’s a cowbell. {starts ringing it}
EVERYONE ELSE: {freaked out} Nooooooooo!
{A herd of cows stampede into the room running over everyone. Then the paper comes down}
Easter Eggs
- Click on Spyro’s head when he lands on Superman to show an secret scene showing Spyro walking past a giant piece of kryptonite and taking a chunk of it of
Fun Facts
Trivia
- This is the first time a character from the real world appeared in an email
- This is the first time Spyro actually used his cloning powers for a reason
Explanation
- When Superman is near his home planet Kryptonite, he gets weaker
Inside References
- When everyone says a current day person or place that they then don't remember is a Running Gag
Real world References
- Spyro thinking “Why do my thoughts echo?” Would reference episode 50 of Bonusstage where Joel thinks something similar
- Spyro’s thoughts echoing back “You’re an idiot!” (which was not what he thought) Would reference a quote from the movie “How the grinch stole Christmas”
- Spyro saying “…and I saved 15% on car insurance from Geico” Would reference Geico’s quote on their commercials.
- Animal Crossing the video game’s money is called Bells
- The Cow bell would reference the Book "Wayside school is falling down"
Rating
Spyro email |
---|
1: Dragon Game | 2: Power Origin | 3: Sick? | 4: Freeze Ray | 5: Other Characters | 6: Challenges | 7: DS Cyberspace | 8: Rescue mission | 9: Experiment | 10: Raid | 11: Carnival | 12: Girls | 13: Genealogy | 14: Product | 15: Makeover | 16: Skating Pursuit | 17: Bananas | 18: Subliminal Messages | 19: N00b Language | 20: Hotel | 21: Skydiving | 22: Rhymes | 23: Search Mission | 24: Threats: Part 1 | 25: Threats: Part 3 New! By Length |
Characters |
Spyro | Drake | Stinkoman | 1-Up | Peachy | Bad Boy | Sarah | Hunter | Arielle | Alpha CT | Platinum Poorbt | Head Jaro |
Email Him, Darn You! | </tr>